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Family Issues - Family - Nairaland

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I Want To Open Up To Others About My Family Issues. Is It A Good Idea? / My Family Issues! (2) (3) (4)

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Family Issues by Debbiemma(f): 8:54pm On Nov 10, 2014
Im having issues with my husband and now he is neglecting me and rejecting my food.pls i need your advice
Re: Family Issues by Nobody: 8:59pm On Nov 10, 2014
How are we supposed to advise you with the skeletal info you have given? What issues are you two having?
Re: Family Issues by coogar: 9:03pm On Nov 10, 2014
Debbiemma:
Im having issues with my husband and now he is neglecting me and rejecting my food.pls i need your advice

did you cheat on him?
Re: Family Issues by Debbiemma(f): 9:09pm On Nov 10, 2014
Far from that.what happened was that i wanted to further my education but he refuse saying that its not necessary
Re: Family Issues by coogar: 9:13pm On Nov 10, 2014
Debbiemma:
Far from that.what happened was that i wanted to further my education but he refuse saying that its not necessary

what does he do for a living? is his job capable of paying all the bills? does he have a good life insurance scheme if he kicks the bucket? if any of the answers is no then your husband is a clown. grin

2 Likes

Re: Family Issues by freecocoa(f): 9:25pm On Nov 10, 2014
Na wa o, almost everything dey happen for marriages these days.
Re: Family Issues by Debbiemma(f): 9:28pm On Nov 10, 2014
He is a business man.pls no in
sult

2 Likes

Re: Family Issues by coogar: 9:32pm On Nov 10, 2014
Debbiemma:
He is a business man.pls no in
sult

does he make enough money in his business? that's the crux of the issue. if he's making enough money, if he's taking care of the bills without complaints & if he has a good life insurance scheme then he's right......your further education is unnecessary!

stay at home - make food for him. do online or petty business from home if you really want to make your own money. this is no issue at all. go & rub his tummy and serve him his best meal.
Re: Family Issues by Nobody: 10:00pm On Nov 10, 2014
Debbiemma:
Far from that.what happened was that i wanted to further my education but he refuse saying that its not necessary

Did you two agree before now as to how far you want to go academically? What are his reasons for not wanting you to further? Will it put a strain on the family's financies? Do you intend going to a school that is far from home, thus living apart and not having time for the family?

How long is this "furthering" going to take? Any kids yet? Does he see your being "too" educated as a threat?

You donot have to answer. I just need some closure as to what his reasons could be. I'm sure you did not marry a senseless man. Him ignoring you and not eating isn't the issue here. Deal with the fundamental issue and the other will be a work over.

1 Like

Re: Family Issues by thorpido(m): 10:10pm On Nov 10, 2014
How much income is your husband making?Can he take care of the bills without assistance from you?

If not,your husband may just be trying to limit you.
Re: Family Issues by cococandy(f): 1:36am On Nov 11, 2014
coogar:


does he make enough money in his business? that's the crux of the issue. if he's making enough money, if he's taking care of the bills without complaints & if he has a good life insurance scheme then he's right......your further education is unnecessary!

stay at home - make food for him. do online or petty business from home if you really want to make your own money. this is no issue at all. go & rub his tummy and serve him his best meal.
what about her personal fulfillment ?

1 Like

Re: Family Issues by Kanwulia: 10:52am On Nov 11, 2014
You must live in the jungle of Africa!
Pity! embarassed

PRIMITIVE concerns for PRIMITIVE people!

Chaaaaaaaai!!!!
Chaaaaaaaai!!!!
Chaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaai!!!!
Re: Family Issues by Nobody: 11:25am On Nov 11, 2014
Debbiemma:
Im having issues with my husband and now he is neglecting me and rejecting my food.pls i need your advice

Chop your food and wash your pot,

That's why they advice ladies not to marry before acheiving their dreams..
he's only scared you might go to school and find another Johnny or come back to become stubborn..

1 Like

Re: Family Issues by bukatyne(f): 12:31pm On Nov 11, 2014
Phema:


Did you two agree before now as to how far you want to go academically? What are his reasons for not wanting you to further? Will it put a strain on the family's financies? Do you intend going to a school that is far from home, thus living apart and not having time for the family?

How long is this "furthering" going to take? Any kids yet? Does he see your being "too" educated as a threat?

You donot have to answer. I just need some closure as to what his reasons could be. I'm sure you did not marry a senseless man. Him ignoring you and not eating isn't the issue here. Deal with the fundamental issue and the other will be a work over.

OP, please answer these questions
Re: Family Issues by Debbiemma(f): 1:12pm On Nov 11, 2014
What happened was i married at a very tender age,i have two kids so i just felt its time for me to pursue my dreams ie to be a graduate.The issue is not money..and i dont intend to Live away from home because i have a car,and the school im talking about is not far from where i live.i just wish he will understand.To make matter worst he said i should be a stay at home mum.guys what should i do cos im just crying.
Re: Family Issues by Nobody: 1:12pm On Nov 11, 2014
The OP came for advice and left everybody else to provide a backstory for it grin.
Re: Family Issues by mutter(f): 1:38pm On Nov 11, 2014
Going back to school after two kids is a great venture and indeed to be admired. However everyone will have to pay the price for it. You the kid`s and your husband.
You need to understand that. Your husband might also have fears that it would expose you to things that might affect the home.
The fact that your husband is not talking to you and not eatin your food, is not because you want to go back to school but more likely because of the way you are going about it. You need to give him time and convince him, pet him and assure him. If you are making your request in a dominant way, he will only suspect you might get even more dominant as you proceed with school.
Do you want to give up your marriage for school? If the answer i no then go about your request wisely. Plead with him and convince him that you would always remain a dedicated wife.

4 Likes

Re: Family Issues by Debbiemma(f): 1:42pm On Nov 11, 2014
Flytefalls:
The OP came for advice and left everybody else to provide a backstory for it grin.
its op thats stil writing
Re: Family Issues by Debbiemma(f): 1:43pm On Nov 11, 2014
mutter:
Going back to school after two kids is a great venture and indeed to be admired. However everyone will have to pay the price for it. You the kid`s and your husband.
You need to understand that. Your husband might also have fears that it would expose you to things that might affect the home.
The fact that your husband is not talking to you and not eatin your food, is not because you want to go back to school but more likely because of the way you are going about it. You need to give him time and convince him, pet him and assure him. If you are making your request in a dominant way, he will only suspect you might get even more dominant as you proceed with school.
Do you want to give up your marriage for school? If the answer i no then go about your request wisely. Plead with him and convince him that you would always remain a dedicated wife.
thanks i appreciate
Re: Family Issues by Nobody: 1:47pm On Nov 11, 2014
mutter:
Going back to school after two kids is a great venture and indeed to be admired. However everyone will have to pay the price for it. You the kid`s and your husband.
You need to understand that. Your husband might also have fears that it would expose you to things that might affect the home.
The fact that your husband is not talking to you and not eatin your food, is not because you want to go back to school but more likely because of the way you are going about it. You need to give him time and convince him, pet him and assure him. If you are making your request in a dominant way, he will only suspect you might get even more dominant as you proceed with school.
Do you want to give up your marriage for school? If the answer i no then go about your request wisely. Plead with him and convince him that you would always remain a dedicated wife.

Op this i think is good advice.
Re: Family Issues by Nobody: 2:12pm On Nov 11, 2014
Debbiemma:
What happened was i married at a very tender age,i have two kids so i just felt its time for me to pursue my dreams ie to be a graduate.The issue is not money..and i dont intend to Live away from home because i have a car,and the school im talking about is not far from where i live.i just wish he will understand.To make matter worst he said i should be a stay at home mum.guys what should i do cos im just crying.
Okay I now see your issue.

You want to be a graduate for the sake of being a graduate? Or is there a career behind it that you wish to pursue. If so, what are the job prospects? When you spoke to your husband, how and what exactly did you tell him? Did you present to him a detailed plan with all the right facts and figures, or did you just tell him what you wanted to do without much else to back up your desires. Truth is, he probably feels it foolish of you to, at this stage of your life, waste family time, money and resources on doing something 'just because you feel like it'. Men respond better to logic, planning, actuals- not dreamland. So all is not lost, you only need package and present your dream differently and he may see things more optimistically. Or not, depends on who you married sad

You married young, so I truly appreciate your desire to burst out into the world and fly. But this is not a hobby of going yoga every evening to get some time for yourself and develop yourself spiritually, this is a lengthy course that will stress and disrupt your everyday family life and horribly, it could lead nowhere in the end. I wish you the best, sincerely.
Re: Family Issues by Nobody: 2:15pm On Nov 11, 2014
^^^^ Nice one
Re: Family Issues by Bibol(f): 4:01pm On Nov 11, 2014
Flytefalls is right. Present your case to your husband with all humility. He knows exactly why he has refused to let you go back to school. Don't let him see your plan as a threat, and make him understand what you will put in place for your home not to suffer when you go back to school. That may be hisfear, you never can tell until you dialogue and if that doesn't work, hold on for a while and don't nag about it. Put it in prayers and you can raise it again at some other time when he is in the right mood.
Re: Family Issues by beeevan: 5:21pm On Nov 11, 2014
We are talking of a business guy that is probably uneducated, how do you make such a person see from your perspective?

OP can your parents sponsor it?

1 Like

Re: Family Issues by BuddhaPalm(m): 6:02pm On Nov 11, 2014
mutter:
Going back to school after two kids is a great venture and indeed to be admired. However everyone will have to pay the price for it. You the kid`s and your husband.
You need to understand that. Your husband might also have fears that it would expose you to things that might affect the home.
The fact that your husband is not talking to you and not eatin your food, is not because you want to go back to school but more likely because of the way you are going about it. You need to give him time and convince him, pet him and assure him. If you are making your request in a dominant way, he will only suspect you might get even more dominant as you proceed with school.
Do you want to give up your marriage for school? If the answer i no then go about your request wisely. Plead with him and convince him that you would always remain a dedicated wife.

She stoops to conquer...

1 Like

Re: Family Issues by bukatyne(f): 6:03pm On Nov 11, 2014
beeevan:
We are talking of a business guy that is probably uneducated, how do you make such a person see from your perspective?

OP can your parents sponsor it?

Lol!

A friend in the OP's shoes had to go to school by force.

The OP's hubby wants her to a house wife so he is thinking what is the use of schooling?

She will go through this same thing when she wants to work with him because school enlightens and broadens one's mind.

OP:

I would advise you think about going to Open University. You can study online and still be a house wife.

If hubby doesn't bulge for working: start thinking in the lines of business especially online.
It is well
Re: Family Issues by Nobody: 6:41pm On Nov 11, 2014
Debbiemma:
What happened was i married at a very tender age,i have two kids so i just felt its time for me to pursue my dreams ie to be a graduate.The issue is not money..and i dont intend to Live away from home because i have a car,and the school im talking about is not far from where i live.i just wish he will understand.To make matter worst he said i should be a stay at home mum.guys what should i do cos im just crying.
Aww, I'm sorry about that.

I think the Open University suggestion Bukatyne made is a good one. Speak with him about this and hear what he says.

Crossing my fingers for ya.
Re: Family Issues by cococandy(f): 7:26pm On Nov 11, 2014
bukatyne:


Lol!

A friend in the OP's shoes had to go to school by force.

The OP's hubby wants her to a house wife so he is thinking what is the use of schooling?

She will go through this same thing when she wants to work with him because school enlightens and broadens one's mind.

OP:

I would advise you think about going to Open University. You can study online and still be a house wife.

If hubby doesn't bulge for working: start thinking in the lines of business especially online.
It is well
nice suggestion
Re: Family Issues by pickabeau1: 7:28pm On Nov 11, 2014
bukatyne:

I would advise you think about going to Open University. You can study online and still be a house wife.
In additrion, other options are Distance Learning Institute programme in Unilag, correspondence courses from both local and foreign universities
Re: Family Issues by bukatyne(f): 7:35pm On Nov 11, 2014
cococandy:
nice suggestion

Thanks
Re: Family Issues by bukatyne(f): 7:36pm On Nov 11, 2014
pickabeau1:

In additrion, other options are Distance Learning Institute programme in Unilag, correspondence courses from both local and foreign universities

O P see other suggestions cheesy

All hope is not lost even if you do not go to obodo iwe
Re: Family Issues by bukatyne(f): 7:37pm On Nov 11, 2014
pickabeau1:

In additrion, other options are Distance Learning Institute programme in Unilag, correspondence courses from both local and foreign universities

Does Unilag offer DL options for full time masters?

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