ohaleoghene: While you are wrong ! Let me enlighten you , and only hope you learn from this . Movies world are fantasy world , totally different from the real world . My lecturer who took me on drama , said and I quote ' in art we do not find reality ,when we do , it is no longer art ' poster , what caught our fancy in movies are the fact that this things do not , and if they do happen arre very rare , and we do only hear about them , and then we say , oh , just like in the movies . Haven't u notice how people who find it hard to believe a certain story say , I am sure you saw that in a movie , that sure can't happen ! So your analysis my dear is crap ! Think of it , won't you find movies boring of it gives us exactly real life situations ? If that is how movies work , while ,.I rather wait till such happens to someone around me , and save the ticket money for a meal .

You my friend should knw and appreciate when people are being hilarious. Or are trying to tell us that you dont realize that the op is just being funny and was indeed very good at it? There was no need to call his nice piece crap. @op great work and style of presentation.

Nofin is making sense in dis shitty place @op i tink u nid alabukun d malaria drug.....mtcheeeew..comparin real life action with movies,y is it den calld movie......JAH BLESS U JOBLESS.TAKIN TYM 2 RYT NONSENSE

If we drop the 'whites do it better' mentality, we'll come to properly assess and see how faulty some of their films can be. The OP spoke about some of those clear gaffs in their movies and you can pick many others if only you watch with the same critical eye we use on Nigerian movies. Eg Was watching IRIS some days back and saw the scene where the nuclear bomb was snapped and sent to the commander from North Korea, he bent his phone before the image opened to view it in landscape. How did he know it wasn't snapped in portrait mode...and the usual one man heroic stunts which could sometimes get very boring...the ease with which one lady beats up over two well trained guards...the way a one man assassin goes on rampage faced with many other trained shooters(with little or no protection) and defeats them all - their own bullets hitting the shutter, table, lamp, anything but him... Too many to mention.

@op how u go name urself after sword na?

mrlaw93: @OP sorry to say I tink there is no sense in Wat u wrote nd it lacks humour.. I read d whole of this post tinking somtin meaningful will eventually com out of it.. tah! disgusting.. now I will take ur point knw after d other.
1. the gud guy kills dem all cos we re made knwn in d film dat he is well trained than dem nd d thousands of guys re jst trash.
2. ur no2 is even out of point..rules re made to keep tins chaotic.. since d cops cnt figure a way to rescue d hostages. the so called super hero who believes he has somtin special nd different Cn as well save d day
3. winning a girls heart 2fyn dancing.. dnt be a crap! u Cn win a girl heart 2ru Wat u tink she desires most nah.. in dis case dancing. if it is singing show her u got d voice, away nd d pinnach to do it.
4. LOL! if d bad guy kills d gud one.. for god sake who will complete d film..na u WAN do am ni.. and note: actor dey die for film go watch CRANK.
5. the last two or last one figures out hw to kill d monster when d idea comes due to deap research nd enough time.. nd exploiting the dead ones.. or even by mistake.. if people no die Wat is d extent of calling it horror..
** I DROP MY PEN **

You need to read it again and find the sense in it.

The guy just did analysis based on obtainable facts and sights.

Final acceptance is yours.

But what he wrote is so true sha.

Anyways, movies aren't expected to be entirely realistic!

HE HE HE HE... OGOSKI, U FUNNY DIE, WALLAHI.

I WAS DISCUSSIN SUMTIN SIMILAR WIT IZUU, SOCHIMA & OTHERS AT MAMA SEYI'S SHOP FEW WKS AGO.

D 1 WEY DEY VEX ME PASS ABOUT OYIBO FILM NA D PART WHER D ACTOR & HIM FRNDS GO DEY LOSE. DEN SUDDENLY D MUSIC GO CHANGE, D ACTOR & HIM FRNDS GO COM SHOUT "WE CAN DO IT!!!!" DEN DEM GO COM WIN. MY BRODA I TIRE O!

mamiel: You my friend should knw and appreciate when people are being hilarious. Or are trying to tell us that you dont realize that the op is just being funny and was indeed very good at it? There was no need to call his nice piece crap. @op great work and style of presentation.

I frowned 2ruout reading dis noting funny ABEG..

I think u got it all wrong,derez llwz a factor bhind hollywood moviez,like schwarznegger being a top commander in an army wit good skillz,picture quality and background also says a lot aabout nhollywood unlike our nollywood

osinachukwu: .

mrlaw93: I frowned 2ruout reading dis noting funny ABEG..

planetuzor: Me I like Hollywood and Nollywood... But e get one guy weh I hate him film.







"Jet-Li"

He's too fake... I wonder him and Nollywood who fake pass?

The guy wey I no like na Steven Seagal. One blow no dey touch am..haba! The guy na Kun fu spirit..

Vin Diesel, Tom Cruise, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Bruce Willis are always forming 'touch not my anointed'. It only makes me laugh. Even though the story line is usually predictable (except Oblivion which I was catch unawares in), I love other things like the tight production.

blink182: that scene still de burst my reasoning.

You need to see all Stephen seagal movies, that guy beats a gun carrying crowd with his bare hands.

My guy!! You sef see the mattar. One blow no dey touch Steven Seagal but he sabi break people hand..film trick good ooo!

senbonzakura_kageyoshi:
4)Bad guy always has the upper hand, then practically throws it away: Have you noticed how so many times, the bad guy juuuust happens to have the good guy in a tight corner….then does something stupid…..like FAILING TO SHOOT THE GODDAMN GOOD GUY AFTER POINTING A GUN AT HIM FOR, I DUNNO, FIVE HOURS? Why is it that it is right when they have the chance to put the good guy out of the misery of acting another part of the movie for good, that’s when the bad guy decides to tell us his entire life story while the good guy figures out how to free himself with one toothpick and a piece of thread. Are they shitting us in Hollywood?

Why Nollywood can’t make it work: Well, Emeka Ani can hardly have time to start talking about he wanted to kill Kanayo O. Kanayo all along while a pastor is praying over him while sprinkling holy water over his head and lightning is flashing and his coven is falling apart. But just imagine Emeka Enyiocha with a gun pointed at Nonso Diobi who is trying to cut through the rope binding him with a blunt fork. Comedy central material!

Men number 4 really gets my attention.
I mean there was a time I used to feel sorry for the bad guys and hope they win!
Even in cartoons
I remember praying there will come a bad guy smart enuff to but put buggs bunny in his place.
Or hoping that fabian actually succeeds in his diabolical plot against Diego and paloma
#teambadguy

senbonzakura_kageyoshi: Right off the bat, I will have to announce that i’m not a fan of Nollywood. Right from the name to the many, many crappy movies, so many that they can fill the whole of Lagos and still as for extra sheets from Ogun State. And if you’ve read this particular post of mine on Nairaland, it probably underlines that fact. Much of what I hate is how predictable Nollywood movies are. However, I have to admit that Hollywood movies are sometimes as bad as Nollywood movies. Think i’m lying? Okay, disprove these:

1) Good guy vs Hundreds of bad guys in gun duel. Who wins?: Have yo watched any of those old Arnold Schwazenegger movies where he finds himself in a tight corner being fired at by literally a hundred baddies? Or Bruce Willis? Or Sylvester Stallone? Has anyone noticed how so many people are firing at one guy and he doesn’t sustain even a slight graze from any of the bullets (incidentally, he only gets injured by flying glass, and the only person whose shot manages to hit him is the main bad guy himself. Note that said shot is rarely ever lethal).

But this same dude, from his tiny hiding place behind a car/pillar/carton manages to eliminate every single one of them and still has enough energy after to come out and bask in the glory of his awesomeness? Think of it, seriously, how possible is that. Heck, even two peple should be enough. How incompetent can thirty people be that they can’t shot at and kill one tiny guy? No wonder naija guys say “actor no dey die for film!”

Why Nollywood cant pull it off: Just imagine Jim Iyke trying to save the day while being shot at by Gentle Jack and thirty other bad guy goons. That would be comedy!

2) Someone breaks all the rules…and still saves the day!: Rules are made for a reason. One, to keep things from going chaotic. Two, the bring things back to order if things do go chaotic. So it is crazy when in Hollywood movies, one guy just busts out of nowhere and breaks all the rules on the way to saving the day.

I mean, what? Seriously, if super heroes did exist in the real world, they would be sued out of business for breaking nearly every rules the government puts in place to protect citizens. For one, in the case of a hostage situation, first, the captors have to first be negotiated with, while security forces try to find a way to get the captives freed. However, Bruce Willis would have none of it and would instead go in one man SWAT in to bust the captives out.
What would happen in real life: The captors would shoot Bruce Willis dead on sight.

Why Nollywood can’t pull it off: Oh, they already tried it in “The President Must Not Die”. The result being that the president (Enebeli Elebuwa, RIP) turned sharp shooter, which was funny as hell.

http://zakuraweekly.com/five-ways-hollywood-movies-are-as-bad-as-nollywood-movies/

common dude, dats y it's called fiction. Main u guyz in naija think shallow sumtimes o!

chess guru:

Or hoping that fabian actually succeeds in his diabolical plot against Diego and paloma
#teambadguy

Ha! When you are mine and passion on AIT back in the days! Mehn, times have changed.

Jccy: 9ja moviez? I can tel d endn 4rm d start witawt watchn (wen i c d posta)

give me only the name of the novie and I'll tell you the entire story.

Baddestguyp: so u're telling me u prefer jet li fightin on nepa wire to series lik the event? Dude u hav no taste for movies. Even 24 is good cos its realistic except d 24 hour rule. Most of the recent hollywood movies r trash, bt some of their series r good lik: the americans, the event, prison break, tean wolf (only werewolf iish i've eva liked) e.t.c. The interestin ones r the non-episodic ones bt burn notice is good. Then also realistic korean series lik: slingshot, the great seer, lobbyist, crime squad, e.t.c. Korean love stories makes gals expect too much 4rm guys. Bt boys over flowers is good

Am not a dude , am a chick . Well you seems not to even get the op at all . If u talk about 24 been so real , then.I guess you watch it through rdio Nigeria, because there were places where Bauer break rules and save the day , fougbht off so many bad guys single handed. Wait is like Nigerias , maybe just you , the op and few others do not understand the rudiments that made up movies and other arts . This things are fiction , please use the dictionary . Fiction ensued fantasy , unrealistic event ..talking about prison break , it is so unrealistic. What guy draws such enormous tatoo on himsf ? Like thou seriously , but we all enjoyed the movie .

blink182: that scene still de burst my reasoning.

You need to see all Stephen seagal movies, that guy beats a gun carrying crowd with his bare hands.

Ehn!!! Don't ever dare mention that guy's name. He is so fake that he is mire fake than fake itself. Gosh! That guy can annoy my life to the last... Nonsense! As much as I love Hollywood movies, I'd rather watch a Nollywood movie than Seagal's movie...

one thing you fail to understand is that acting is not real and we all know this conciously and subconsciously. We all know what a film trick is and we all love it. The thing the hollywoods guys know how to make these things look real and possible unlike the nollywood guys who cant even know how to make a gunshot. The trick in hollywood looks matured and masterful and ours here looks like shit. I think the most reasonable you should embark writting is that nollywood should stick to drama i mean unprewdictable dramas or go learn the art in hollywood just like the indians did.

Ohibenemma: If we drop the 'whites do it better' mentality, we'll come to properly assess and see how faulty some of their films can be. The OP spoke about some of those clear gaffs in their movies and you can pick many others if only you watch with the same critical eye we use on Nigerian movies. Eg Was watching IRIS some days back and saw the scene where the nuclear bomb was snapped and sent to the commander from North Korea, he bent his phone before the image opened to view it in landscape. How did he know it wasn't snapped in portrait mode...and the usual one man heroic stunts which could sometimes get very boring...the ease with which one lady beats up over two well trained guards...the way a one man assassin goes on rampage faced with many other trained shooters(with little or no protection) and defeats them all - their own bullets hitting the shutter, table, lamp, anything but him... Too many to mention.

Bros me sef tire..! Bruce Willis movies, the recent die hard. One scene wey the bad guys corner papa and Pikin for bar. The bad guy narrate story sotay the pikin Comot knife come cut rope we dem take tire him hand. The bad guys come spray bullets like holy water and nothing touch actor..

spongeback: Hollywood interpret "royal" movies better======>
Nollywood interpretation of "royal" movies makes me wonder, which culture wears those hideous costumes And they have really silly names
Royal palace
Royal queen
Royal king
We are royals oh!!!
Royal rumble
The King tear my bra
Royal maidens
The queen dey suspect me
The prince fell for the maid

very funny I forgot to laugh!!!mtchew,you must be a learner

mamiel: You my friend should knw and appreciate when people are being hilarious. Or are trying to tell us that you dont realize that the op is just being funny and was indeed very good at it? There was no need to call his nice piece crap. @op great work and style of presentation.

And who are you to tell me that I should find something funny when it is actually disgusting to sight ? The op article is crap ! If u find it funny , well good for you

mrlaw93: @OP sorry to say I tink there is no sense in Wat u wrote nd it lacks humour.. I read d whole of this post tinking somtin meaningful will eventually com out of it.. tah! disgusting.. now I will take ur point knw after d other.
1. the gud guy kills dem all cos we re made knwn in d film dat he is well trained than dem nd d thousands of guys re jst trash.
2. ur no2 is even out of point..rules re made to keep tins chaotic.. since d cops cnt figure a way to rescue d hostages. the so called super hero who believes he has somtin special nd different Cn as well save d day
3. winning a girls heart 2fyn dancing.. dnt be a crap! u Cn win a girl heart 2ru Wat u tink she desires most nah.. in dis case dancing. if it is singing show her u got d voice, away nd d pinnach to do it.
4. LOL! if d bad guy kills d gud one.. for god sake who will complete d film..na u WAN do am ni.. and note: actor dey die for film go watch CRANK.
5. the last two or last one figures out hw to kill d monster when d idea comes due to deap research nd enough time.. nd exploiting the dead ones.. or even by mistake.. if people no die Wat is d extent of calling it horror..
** I DROP MY PEN **

Guy relax and lighten up. U don't have to be a killer joy and go all logical and serious in the thread.
Some people J̶̲̥̅̊u̶̲̥̅̊S̤̥̈̊τ̲̣̣̥ lack a sense of humor.
The bottom line is that op's major problem with nigerian films is predictability...something that with 5 points, he has shown that hollywood and nollywood have in common.

moshoodn:

You need to read it again and find the sense in it.

The guy just did analysis based on obtainable facts and sights.

Final acceptance is yours.

But what he wrote is so true sha.

Anyways, movies aren't expected to be entirely realistic!

u ve said it all "movies aren'nt expected to be entirely realistic!

ohaleoghene:


And who are you to tell me that I should find something funny when it is actually disgusting to sight ? The op article is crap ! If u find it funny , well good for you

Well one man's crap is anoda mans perfume.
Op had a point none the less.
Hollywood is predictable J̶̲̥̅̊u̶̲̥̅̊S̤̥̈̊τ̲̣̣̥ a nollywood is predictable. And he expressed his view in a way that put smiles on peoples faces.
*some people can be serious sha*

ohaleoghene:


And who are you to tell me that I should find something funny when it is actually disgusting to sight ? The op article is crap ! If u find it funny , well good for you

Aunty oghene and thinz..! Calm down the op yarn was funny sha....no need to write exam for this one..

ohaleoghene:


Am not a dude , am a chick . Well you seems not to even get the op at all . If u talk about 24 been so real , then.I guess you watch it through rdio Nigeria, because there were places where Bauer break rules and save the day , fougbht off so many bad guys single handed. Wait is like Nigerias , maybe just you , the op and few others do not understand the rudiments that made up movies and other arts . This things are fiction , please use the dictionary . Fiction ensued fantasy , unrealistic event ..talking about prison break , it is so unrealistic. What guy draws such enormous tatoo on himsf ? Like thou seriously , but we all enjoyed the movie .

Have u watched hero by jet li?
Do you know that the movie "Hero" was a representation of chinese history (referring to the unification of china by d quin dynasty).
That story isn't fiction (even though d characters themselves maybe fictional).
The movie is a representation of facts.
So can u combine the historical significance of the movie and the fact that jet li and his friends where fighting untop a banana tree or bouncing off the a lake with the tip of their swords.
now compare the movie to the series "Ju mong"
Another movie derived from facts, but played around with fictional characters and semi fictional narrative.


Last bullet:
Who said 24 isn't realistic. How many times does jack bauer bleed for his country.
He has been tourtured like any real covert agent would.
Lost his wife, J̶̲̥̅̊u̶̲̥̅̊S̤̥̈̊τ̲̣̣̥ when we all though it would be a happy ever after (in season 1).
Ave u ever seen steven segal sweat in any fight! Men dust no dey Touch the dude.
All stunts in jumong were believable.
Nobody is saying there shouldn't be stunts in movies, but they should strive to make it believable as most (not all) are.

#i rest

chess guru:
Guy relax and lighten up. U don't have to be a killer joy and go all logical and serious in the thread.
Some people J̶̲̥̅̊u̶̲̥̅̊S̤̥̈̊τ̲̣̣̥ lack a sense of humor.
The bottom line is that op's major problem with nigerian films is predictability...something that with 5 points, he has shown that hollywood and nollywood have in common.

mumu... show me where he highlight the like terms btw nolly nd holly