One sad thing I have noticed is that most times when we get married have a few kids fun and bonding ends for the Nigerian couple.

Social activities are restricted to attending Church, weddings and namings.

The wife is caught up in trying to balance a career and a home and the husband is stressed from work and helping out and spends most of his alone time watching TV or if he is outgoing with friends.

The wife also spends free time on her own shows and with friends. Their only time together is in the bedroom which slowly turns boring and routine.

I was there and hubby and I worked out some fun bonding activities that we do together sometimes with the kids:

1. Evening stroll: this helps us manage our weight, talk, catch up, play love, hold hands and just be friends. We do this on less stressful weekdays after an early dinner, walk down somewhere if we need to get something rather than drive.
We get home refreshed, smiling and take a bath sleep very well.

2. Picnics: doesn't cost much, sometimes we just take books, read and lie on each other in a park. Mostly lazy saturdays when Grandparents have the kids. We make lunch pick up some wine and go to a park, find a quite corner and spend the day. Sometimes we both take day offs during the week and then the parks are virtually empty. Its great.

3. Watch a movie: our favorite sport. We take turns in selecting the movies as our choices differ, I may not like his choice but I watch and vice versa, we make out in the cinema ( we sit up back) and we cheer shamelessly and loudly at the movie.

4. Play video games: His sport, I learned to play and we play even though he is a master

5. Salon: Once in a while he comes with me to the salon, makes fun of what we do, makes the other ladies laugh, gets pizza or snacks for everyone, I feel happy, he gets rewarded big time

6. Spa: sometimes we go get massages together especially after a stressful week.
Its fun and relaxing.

7. Mechanics: Believe it or not spending a day at the mecahincs can be fun. We take our meals and a drink, get some for the mechanics, we gist, eat, check out the work, go home shower and rest.

There are a lot more but as I remember I will post more.
Try out one of these this weekend if you don't already.
Stay in love.
Best wishes

* Play scrabble, monopoly and general board games including "cashy"....

* Go on water adventure, board a cruise ship, ferry, canoe, ship or whatever is available and explore the sea... From Marina to Apapa...etc

* you can do minimini manimo, father has a donkey, donkey die father cry, minimini manimo..

* If there are kids, start an in-house tales by moonlight or I wanna tell you a story....

* Go on adventurous ride, enter the car and cruise around on weekends....

* Getaways occasionally...

Bless you jor, how did I forget Ludo, card and other indoor games.
Be a good cheat with chess, Ludo and whot.
For Ludo, learn how to push your newly out seed into the home zone with sytle.
For WHOT learn to hide the bad cards.

Don't say na me teach you the day you get up and cards come tumbling down oh.

Wow!!! I'm single but it's very useful...I'm always scared about the 'boredom phase' during marriage..

I have been playing ludo for a long time yet I still cannot beat a female to it. I later gave up on ludo... Seems females came with ludo skills from heaven....

For WHOT, CARDS and board games, I have a special talent in that department

well said Debrief08.. The way these country is going now, no way to relax or spend quality time with your loved ones,bcoz we are all after (chedders) a.k.a money.

CC please go ahead with your plans, don't be discouraged by nay sayers.

You will be patronised, the old way is giving way for the new way, Couples are now getting married with their head in place and not just to marry, so many want to make it work and not be running around, your gettaway idea is a wonderful one.

Please keep it up.

I hope we will be as much in love as we are now when we have spent as many years as you have

Wizee, people should realise that when you spend all your time on chasing money and break the most important thing (family) cheedar won't fix it.
When you have an unhappy wife or husband cheedar won't fix it, when you break down from too much stress it is the same family you abandon that will be by your hospital bed. So play your cards wisely.
Find a healthy balance, stop competing and enjoy the small joys and blessings you have

Is this for a typical Nigerian .

Close from work by 6/7pm, traffic, gets home by 8,9,10pm.
Eat, sometimes take a shower and heads straight to bed to get up as early as 4,5 am for the next day work.

For self employed, that one is always on the road everyday.
Weekends, plenty wedding, child dedication etc. the free weekend they have is to sleep and get the stress reduced.

Even if you try walking down to the "park" Agberos everywhere
Small small boys go collect your small wrist watch sef .

The fun most ppl know is go drink pepper soup Tinz while shining their eyes for stray bullets and bottle breaking on ones head.

This is the average Nigerian.

Wizee: well said Debrief08.. The way these country is going now, no way to relax or spend quality time with your loved ones,bcoz we are all after (chedders) a.k.a money.

Depends on what you want from life and family. It can only be difficult for people who believe money is everything. One thing I have learnt in life is contentment with whatever I have. Once I have food and basic needs, I am happy.

I left a well paid job for a lesser one and to a conducive environment. I did this because I don't want to end up becoming a visiting husband/dad. The old job will surely turn me into one.

I am happy raising a family that will not add problem to the society. Find time to bond with the family, money can only enhance comfort but it can't give peace especially when people do not know when to rest and relax..

Chillisauce: Is this for a typical Nigerian .

Close from work by 6/7pm, traffic, gets home by 8,9,10pm.
Eat, sometimes take a shower and heads straight to bed to get up as early as 4,5 am for the next day work.

For self employed, that one is always on the road everyday.
Weekends, plenty wedding, child dedication etc. the free weekend they have is to sleep and get the stress reduced.

Even if you try walking down to the "park" Agberos everywhere
Small small boys go collect your small wrist watch sef .

The fun most ppl know is go drink pepper soup Tinz while shining their eyes for stray bullets and bottle breaking on ones head.

This is the average Nigerian.

Not everybody lives in the dangerous parts of Lagos where Agberos will be harrasing you.
It is very common to see couples exercising and strolling in the evenings here.

If weekdays are filled with traffic where there is traffic then cut down on weddings and namings during weekends, if you spend 1 weekend in a month on your spouse bonding heavens won't fall because you missed one wedding.
What is the point wearing every aso ebi attending every ceremony when you won't even talk to each other on the way there and back?

Besides better to spend time bonding that spend time hurting each other and seeking ways to "deal with " each other. Enough of the sob stories

Ah CC how did I forget Karoeke, we love that.

Abeg go ahead, Nigerians can always complain and find faults but market it well them go buy.

Besides is it not easier to spend fun time and money bonding than to go and spend on theraphy settling issues that will be avoided by spending quality lovey time

Debrief and chaircove, enjoyment ladies..truth is some people have to make the sacrifice. Everyone wants all the good things of strolling around, fun etc. but not all could afford it.

Also the things you see as fun, some see it as boring .

There is no fun better than S E X, and trustme, Nigerians depends so much on that fun.

True story

Nice thread debrief.I kinda get Chilli's point, I guess you live in Abuja but Lagos is a very mad place to live in (I still love it though ).That said everything in life is about priorities and if you make something a priority you will definitely find time for it.

I thought there was something going on with me but I too kinda see going for functions as a chore these days, if we cant find a baby sitter the thought of running round to find my 18 month old under the table cos he is bored just turns us off.Sometimes my husband just says you go il stay home with Bobo (good excuse for him ).I used to be an owambe expert but these days id rather just go for a quiet dinner with hubby or go on the River Boat from Westminster to North Greenwich (my mum says o ti ronu bi oyinbo meaning you are beginning to think like oyinbo ).Even naija kids parties are a chore cos I don't know which kain 1 yr old birthday we are doing that we are taking aso ebi and starting at 4 pm to end at 2am .It definitely is not for the baby.I prefer oyinbo kids parties though by the time you drop the child it better to hang around cos 1 to 3 means 1 to 3 .

In Lagos, you can get an extended lunch like once a month(hard sha cos naija employers are just slave drivers) have a lunch date with your spouse,people do these things as boyfriend and girlfriend so why not your spouse?There is just too much traffic but you can organise trips at the weekend to places like whispering palms.For those who can afford it and have slightly older kids I think there are loads of other fun vacation spots to go on holiday than the Uk esp London.Short breaks to Obudu, Ghana, Gambia and so many other serene places.

Me and hubby watch football together (not applicable for most couples though as not all women like football), we like almost the same kind of programmes so we have our own time when the kids are in bed which is latest 8.30pm.I know I go on and on about it (in caribean tone) let dose chile go to bed early mon. .Its necessary.

THERE IS ONLYYYYYYYYYYYYYY ONEEEEEEEEEEE ACTIVIYTYYYYYYYYYYY......ALL ODAS NA WASHHH

brief

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Go-carting

Karaoke

Gym

Evening Drive

Poker

picnic for naija couples? this one na oyibo thing o. no bonding in African man dictionary anyway
sha, if you dont want to miss the opportunity
of a lifetime click on this link and like the
page. a message eill be sent to you
www.facebook.com/aprokomania

ITS NOT THAT EASY
USUALLY THE MAN IS TOO BUSY MAKING MONEY ( OR TRYING TO SECURE MORE MONEY)
TO DO SHITE LIKE STROLL.
WHEN UR WIFE WHO LOOKED LIKE AN ANGEL
NOW LOOKS LIKE A WALRUS THERE IS ISNT MUCH INSPIRATION TOO
SOMETIMES WHEN U AINT BUSY, UR WIFE IS BUSY DRIVING U NUTS
SHE AND THE KIDS
ITS A HARD LIFE

I guess this is for married people!
#leaves thread

Ludo is a fun-bonding activity? These are really end-times

What about drinking garri togeda?...nobody mentioned tht

One Quest: is your hubby a Nigerian?

My wife scored a free Kick against me with Mikel OBI while playing FIFA 13...i broke up with her...aint no way she learnt how to do that if she wasnt taken lessons from another man *sadface

debrief08: 5. Salon: Once in a while he comes with me to the salon, makes fun of what we do, makes the other ladies laugh, gets pizza or snacks for everyone, I feel happy, he gets rewarded big time

...Cool write-up but how do you reward him big time? Just being curious.

Me likey.
Can't wait to be Mrs Bee

Chillisauce: Is this for a typical Nigerian .

Close from work by 6/7pm, traffic, gets home by 8,9,10pm.
Eat, sometimes take a shower and heads straight to bed to get up as early as 4,5 am for the next day work.

For self employed, that one is always on the road everyday.
Weekends, plenty wedding, child dedication etc. the free weekend they have is to sleep and get the stress reduced.

Even if you try walking down to the "park" Agberos everywhere
Small small boys go collect your small wrist watch sef .

The fun most ppl know is go drink pepper soup Tinz while shining their eyes for stray bullets and bottle breaking on ones head.

This is the average Nigerian.

Hahaha ure so funny,dts y I kip tellin u lagosians to come to ibadan,blve me ur life will never remain d same,minimal traffic,lovely scenery,work closes latest 7pm,ibadan is the dream