1."This one's special"
When you're in love, you begin to think
your beloved is unique. The belief is
coupled with an inability to feel
romantic passion for anyone else. Fisher
and her colleagues believe this single-
mindedness results from elevated levels
of central dopamine — a chemical
involved in attention and focus — in
your brain.
2. "She's perfect"
People who are truly in love tend to
focus on the positive qualities of their
beloved, while overlooking his or her
negative traits. They also focus on trivial
events and objects that remind them of
their loved one, day-dreaming about
these precious little moments and
mementos. This focused attention is
also thought to result from elevated
levels of central dopamine, as well as a
spike in central norepinephrine, a
chemical associated with increased
memory in the presence of new stimuli.
[5 Surprising Animal Love Stories ]
3. "I'm a wreck!"
As is well known, falling in love often
leads to emotional and physiological
instability. You bounce between
exhilaration, euphoria, increased energy,
sleeplessness, loss of appetite,
trembling, a racing heart and
accelerated breathing, as well as
anxiety, panic and feelings of despair
when your relationship suffers even the
smallest setback. These mood swings
parallel the behavior of drug addicts.
And indeed, when in-love people are
shown pictures of their loved ones, it
fires up the same regions of the brain
that activate when a drug addict takes a
hit. Being in love, researchers say, is a
form of addiction.
4. "Overcoming the challenge made
us closer"
Going through some sort of adversity
with another person tends to intensify
romantic attraction. Central dopamine
may be responsible for this reaction,
too, because research shows that when
a reward is delayed, dopamine-
producing neurons in the mid-brain
region become more productive.
5. "I'm obsessed with him"
People who are in love report that they
spend, on average, more than 85
percent of their waking hours musing
over their "love object." Intrusive
thinking, as this form of obsessive
behavior is called, may result from
decreased levels of central serotonin in
the brain, a condition that has been
associated with obsessive behavior
previously. (Obsessive-compulsive
disorder is treated with serotonin-
reuptake inhibitors.)
6. "I wish we could be together all
the time"
People in love regularly exhibit signs of
emotional dependency on their
relationship, including possessiveness,
jealousy, fear of rejection, and
separation anxiety.
7. "I hope we stay together forever"
They also long for emotional union with
their beloved, seeking out ways to get
closer and day-dreaming about their
future together.
8. "I'd do anything for her"
People who are in love generally feel a
powerful sense of empathy toward their
beloved, feeling the other person's pain
as their own and being willing to sacri?
ce anything for the other person.
9. "Would he like this outfit?"
Falling in love is marked by a tendency
to reorder your daily priorities and/or
change your clothing, mannerisms,
habits or values in order for them to
better align with those of your beloved.
10. "Can we be exclusive?"
Those who are deeply in love typically
experience sexual desire for their
beloved, but there are strong emotional
strings attached: The longing for sex is
coupled with possessiveness, a desire
for sexual exclusivity, and extreme
jealousy when the partner is suspected
of infidelity. This possessiveness is
thought to have evolved so that an in-
love person will compel his or her
partner to spurn other suitors, thereby
insuring that the couple's courtship is
not interrupted until conception has
occurred. [ 5 Strange Courting Rituals
from Around the World]
11. "It's not about sex"
While the desire for sexual union is
important to people in love, the craving
for emotional union takes precedence.
A study found that 64 percent of people
in love (the same percentage for both
sexes) disagreed with the statement,
“Sex is the most important part of my
relationship with [my partner]."
12. "I feel out of control"
Fisher and her colleagues found that
individuals who report being "in love"
commonly say their passion is
involuntary and uncontrollable.
13. "The spark is gone"
Unfortunately, being in love usually
doesn't last forever. It's an
impermanent state that either evolves
into a long-term, codependent
relationship that psychologists call
"attachment," or it dissipates, and the
relationship dissolves. If there are
physical or social barriers inhibiting
partners from seeing one another
regularly — for example, if the
relationship is long-distance — then the
"in love" phase generally lasts longer
than it would otherwise.

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