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12 Worst Things To Say To Newly Wed Couple - Family - Nairaland

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12 Worst Things To Say To Newly Wed Couple by Nobody: 5:22pm On Sep 12, 2013
Something about being engaged and planning
a wedding seems to bring out the worst in
people. If you know someone who's engaged,
these are the things Not to say. They've all
really been said to engaged people I know, so
I've also included a few helpfully snarky and
sarcastic things to say (or think while silently
judging them) in case you're the victim of
rude and jealous people.
1. "So I take it you're not wearing white?"
Oh I forgot that my wedding dress's
purpose is to help all of my guests know
how virginal I am. Perhaps I should
instead just wear a sign detailing my
bedroom activities.
2. "I hate weddings."
Thanks! So glad I can cross you off the
invite list, then.
3. "Are you pregnant!?", "So, when are you
having kids?", or even "You're old to be
getting married. Better get pregnant right
away!"
Right, because the only reason to get
married is if I'm pregnant, or about to be.
Silly me, I thought we were getting
married because we love each other.
4. "You better lose some weight before the
wedding!"
Actually I'm hoping to gain some weight
before the wedding. That way it will hurt
more when I sit on you.
5. "I thought you'd never get married! You
were such a swinging single!" Or even
worse, "Dude, you finally let yourself be
trapped, huh? Welcome to the jail of
married life."
You are SO funny. You are TOTALLY the
first person to say this. And yes, I'm only
getting married because I'm forced to. It's
not possible that I've matured, and it's
not possible to have any freedom in
marriage. How did you know?
6. "I can't believe you're marrying him." (or
her)
Yeah, well I can't believe you're such a
huge jerk, but it's true.
7. "This is so soon! Are you sure this is the
right decision?"
I was sure, but I'm so wishy washy and
weak-spined that I'm going to listen to
you. Thank goodness you said something!
8. "Maybe this one will last."
Yep. Maybe. And maybe I won't punch
you in the nose.
9. "I can't wait to come! I'm trying to decide
who to bring as my date!"
I see. You can't imagine a world where
you aren't invited to everything, much less
a world where you haven't been invited to
bring a date. Some of us have a thing
called a budget.
10. "Who's paying for the wedding? It must
be costing you a fortune!"
Speaking of that budget, it's none of your
business!
11. Any sentence that begins with the words,
"You HAVE to" or "Well, traditionally, you
know" or is another way of saying, "You're
doing it wrong."
You're inevitably the same person who
will tell me that you had a cash bar,
didn't have bridesmaids, asked for money,
or other non-traditional/wrong wedding
choices. I guess the rules don't apply to
you?
And my favorite inappropriate thing
people say is:
12. "You know 50% of marriages end in
divorce, don't you?"
Actually that's a false statistic. The
actual rate is closer to 24% for couples
older than 25. But it's always great to
have a pessimist around to rain on my
parade. What would I do without you?
Nairalanders Respond: What's the Worst Thing
Said to You About Your Wedding?
Re: 12 Worst Things To Say To Newly Wed Couple by Nobody: 7:55pm On Sep 12, 2013
Loool. Wish I had seen this earlier. I told my sister I hate weddings and she actually said I don't have to come
Re: 12 Worst Things To Say To Newly Wed Couple by Kanwulia: 7:11am On Sep 14, 2013
Like my uncles told one of my brothers when he was getting married. . .AT THE TRADITIONAL WEDDING, while drinking THE wine carried by the WIFE-TO-BE!!!!

[size=20pt]"Poor you! We are sorry for you! We are rushing to GET OUT. . . YOU ARE RUSHING TO GET IN". . . .[/size]

We nearly died of laughter ooooooooooooooooooooh. My papa could not help it. . . my brother was not finding it funny at all!

He whispers to us. . .'NA WHICH KAIN UNCLES BE DEEZ?. . .JUST WHEN I NEEDED ALL THE ENCOURAGEMENT IN THE WORLD. . .ABI DIS NA EASY TIN'?

cheesy grin cheesy grin cheesy grin

Both of MY PAPA BROTHERS. . . BLAAAAAADY, CHRISTIAN-POLYGAMISTS of course!!! grin

. . . And it came to pass! Im too don turn polygamist tey-tey!!!!

Muchechechechecheche!!!!

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I Hope And Pray That This Is Not Breast Cancer!! / I Jst Broke Up / Is It To Beat Her Or To Ignore Her, Which Is Wiser???

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