I met a girl through a dating site,we got talking for 2months and i had a problem which i was sentenced to 5yrs and 8months,during this time my family and friends turned their back on me.but this girl stood by me and fought for my freedom,and they cut the 5yrs to 3yrs and 4months,now am out and i vowed not have anything to do with my family but this girl called me to order and drew me closer to my family,now i want to settle down with her but my family refused that she is not from my village(imo state).my girl friend said she my parents didnt accept her she cant go on with the marriage,please advice me on what to do ,am loosing her and my world is crumbling.am so much in love with this girl because she is the kind of woman i want to spend my life with.

My brother, i can't decipher what you posted! Its so difficult to read and understand.
Can you summarize? biko!

what am trying to say is that my girlfriend whom i want to marry was rejected by my family because she is not from imo state.she helped me when i had a problem,i lost evrything i had,when my family turned their back on me she stood by me.now my family dont want her as my wife,what do i do?do i listen to my parents and abondon her?

AmBeautiful: My brother, i can't decipher what you posted! Its so difficult to read and understand.
Can you summarize? biko!

seriously I didn't bother reading, its too difficult. But OP TAKE IT TO THE LORD IN PRAYER

Anyi.:

seriously I didn't bother reading, its too difficult. But OP TAKE IT TO THE LORD IN PRAYER

YES OH

Dan4ril to me i dont see any big deal in it,ur parents are nt the 1 marrying is u that kws wot u wnt and you go 4 it.if u choose ur parents haoinex ova urs den listen 2 dem.is al i cn say 2 u

The solution to this is simple. U are the one marrying her not ur family. If ur folks can't give u a solid, acceptable reason for not accepting, and u feel u r compatible with her. U can go ahead and marry her. From ur story, u said ur ppl abandoned u wen u needed dem and she was there for u, u also vowed not to have anytin with ur ppl. So y r u seeking their consent to marry someone who has been there for u wen nobody was?

Hang on. She stood by you when your family abandoned you. Now you want to abandon her for the same family that abandoned you?

Your question should be "how do I bring my family around to the fact that I am marrying this girl who stood by me when my family abandoned me?"

may be ur family don't want u to b happy. They abandoned u in ur tym of nid n despair, now they want u to leave the only person that stood by u tru thick n thin. U would be making a mistake leaving her, she is ur guardian angel. Marry her, wit tym ur family will get to accept her.

Well from what I can understand,the op is willing to marry the girl even without the family's approval but the girl said she can't marry him hence the family did not approve of it.what I can say is,make ur woman to understand that its her or never nd that ur family can't choose the state u will marry from.I never knew imo state people also rejects people from other state(have only had abt anambara's story but not imo)I can only say u shldnt listen to what ur family is saying cos some families only mean well when there is money nd when the going is good but once the money is nolonger there,they care less.go ahead nd marry her.

Dan4ril: am so much in love with this girl because she is the kind of woman i want to spend my life with.

follow ur statement

M

buti4nomsy: Dan4ril to me i dont see any big deal in it,ur parents are nt the 1 marrying is u that kws wot u wnt and you go 4 it.if u choose ur parents aoinex ova urs den listen 2 dem.is al i cn say 2 u

my heart beats 4 her,she is my hapinex

nicky4lif: Well from what I can understand,the op is willing to marry the girl even without the family's approval but the girl said she can't marry him hence the family did not approve of it.what I can say is,make ur woman to understand that its her or never nd that ur family can't choose the state u will marry from.I never knew imo state people also rejects people from other state(have only had abt anambara's story but not imo)I can only say u shldnt listen to what ur family is saying cos some families only mean well when there is money nd when the going is good but once the money is nolonger there,they care less.go ahead nd marry her.

tnx 4 ur advice and understanding,I v made her 2 understand dis,al she said is a woman doesn't marry only her husband(me) bt d intire family that's d only way she can feel comfortable,secondly people may not understand it this way they will say she is the one that brought enemity in the family.which I get her point

Like seriously! Are you sure you are a true son of that family? Why should their opinion count? Especially when it is devoid of reason.

Who chooses not to be with his better half because you are not from the same village? Ans: a man wey dem do strong tin for village!

listen brother man. your family turned their backs on you when u needed them and she was there for you. now all is well and they r back in your life again and they dont want her? like really? the only person who was there for u and u r willing to loose her because of ppl who have showed that they can never b there for u when u need them? come again biko. u must b kidding me.

If you want this girl, tribe shd not be a barrier.
Goooosh, does this things still happen in Nigeria?
If tribe is the only reason your parents have, then thats not enough reason. Marry her and convince your parents to like her. Where is she from?? If she's from akwa ibom, jst marry her 2day.

No. Drive her away. when you nedd help again and your parents reject you then you'll run to the babalawo next door...


:p

Op, did ur family live u wen u had problem?
Who stood by u wen u needed sum1?
I blive for the girl to stick with u wen u had issues, she's gonna stick with u no mata wat will happen in future. Why not sit ur parent/family down, let dem give u a ''satisfactory'' reason, why u shldn't marry her. After that, u must talk to God one one one,seek his face, don't go to any pastor bcoz dey'll side ur parent. Always remember our God listens. Op don't 4get to be patient, It helps too.

Wizee: Op, did ur family live u wen u had problem?
Who stood by u wen u needed sum1?
I blive for the girl to stick with u wen u had issues, she's gonna stick with u no mata wat will happen in future. Why not sit ur parent/family down, let dem give u a ''satisfactory'' reason, why u shldn't marry her. After that, u must talk to God one one one,seek his face, don't go to any pastor bcoz dey'll side ur parent. Always remember our God listens. Op don't 4get to be patient, It helps too.

tnx 4 ur advice,my mind accepted this lady frm day 1,I neva had doubt abt her,if she cn stand by me wen I had prob she can do more jst lk u said,I dnt nid advice frm my family I v dcided 2 tk a step and make her mine,my family doesn't count here now,thank God both of us r in europe we settle here and live our lives witout my family intruding.thanks 2 all of you who contributed and have given me couarge.I appreciate

AmBeautiful: My brother, i can't decipher what you posted! Its so difficult to read and understand.
Can you summarize? biko!

Him get gf wey him meet for dating site.
Dem don date for 2 months
Him come enter prison
Him family run
The girl still dey for him side
Dem reduce the prison term from 5 to 3 yrs (thru the girl's effort?)
Dem don release am now.
Him wan marry the girl
But him family wey run leave am say make him no marry the girl say she no dey from their village.
The girl say if the family no gree then she no go marry am.
Him wan die.

Dan4ril: thank God both of us r in europe we settle here and live our lives witout my family intruding.

thats grate, dont 4get u alone can mke urself happy.

d truth of d matter is to make d girl see reason why she shudn't act in favour of ur family since u love her, according to wat nicky as said...xcept if she as someone else she loves, if she truly loves u, she will bliv and accept ur opinion and u quys will live a happy life

190: what were you arrested for

190 u don come back?

If am to be in ur shoe....I will solve the matter with pregnant....ooppss.

Bruv, since your family wasn't there for you when you were going through your trials and tribulations, why do you think they have to choose for you now? You need to redefine the word "family" into what's beneficial to your existence on this planet. And whoever rides with you through thick and thin is your la familia. Chics like that are very rare and if you lose that chic, trust me, you will never find anyone like her for the rest of your life.

Just telling a chic you're either homeless, broke or jobless is enough for her to break up with you. Now imagine telling her you're a criminal and you have been sentenced to 5years in prison. And rather than leave you, she stood there for her man. That's a top chic and though I don't believe in love, that's definitely what true love is about.

My doozy went through something similar. he was sentenced to 18 months for some madness he did back when we were all still rowdy and wild. After that, all the broke black chics he was messing with left him. The only chic that stood by him was a super-educated Asian chic he just started checking before he went in. For the 9 months he spent in there, she kept visiting him and sending him money and letters. Even when he lost his mum while he was in there, that was the only chic that was there for him. Bruv, he had to wife her up after uni, despite his dad and the chic's parents' reservations about the odd union. And now, they live together and have a beautiful daughter. That's a ridah and it has to be loyalty above everything. The chic was loyal to you and you definitely have to put her above everyone else. Also, I don't know how old you're, but my doozy is just 26.

Loyal chics are a dying breed and they're very scarce. Once you find one, you need to build a mansion there and stay put till death do you part. People like me who took certain people's loyalty at different stages of my young life for granted still regret it. If I could turn back the hands of time, I know I would have done certain things differently. You may get all the nicest and most beautiful chics in the world, however, finding the loyal ones who would testify with you is the hardest/toughest thing ever. Better think smart and don't be a victim!

Ask yourself this simple question:


IF MY FAMILY ABANDONS ME AGAIN?WHO WILL STAND BY ME?

Oga u mumu small o

I would have reservations about marrying into a family that didn't approve of me, serious reservations. Think about it, these people who hate dislike her will be her children's relations. What if they treat her children with the same carelessness that they treated you? It can be emotionally taxing to be permanently attached to people who don't want you around. Marriage is hard and often takes the love and support of friends and family to get through hard times. The moment you have a fight and run to your mother for advice, she will tell you to abandon your wife (and in a moment of anger you may do it). I know you are upset, but either you get your family on board with the plan or there may be no hope. It's sad, but think about your girlfriend's feelings. An unhappy mother-in-law can make a woman's life a nightmare in ways you probably couldn't imagine.