10 TYPES OF ENGLISH SPEAKERS YOU FIND
IN NIGERIA. A must read to know were
you belong................
1. ENGLISH THIEVES: they are use to
stealing other peoples type of English. Is
not as if they dont speak fluently only that
they speak borrowed English...you would
hear them say "wats up, catch ya,Bleep
you,mother fucker,holy shit, bitch,
goddamn you, etc...
2. ENGLISH MURDERERS: this set of
persons by any means wants to fit into the
society but on the long run,they are not
helping matters,they speak dead English.
You hear them say..."y shud i not spoke, i
am gone there today,my gal is virginity,
stop offering me insult, my body is catching
cold among others.
3. ENGLISH PART-TIME PATRONIZERS:
many of our interior town/village based
Nigerians fall under this class,they speak
the little English they know once in a blue
moon & many other times,they speak their
local language.
4. ENGLISH REBELS: In Nigeria, there are
lot of English rebels. They are very much
confortable in speaking the pidgin or
broken english (as it is called), but dnt try
45% of them,becos they are very gud
fluent English speakers too e.g you dey
mad, wettin dey do you, boys don
hammer, maga don pay etc.
5. ENGLISH JAGONIST: this set of persons
know English language, but when they
speak they get you confused the more. E.g
when they refer to a man,they call the
person HER etc.
6. ENGLISH BlANKS: their head is blank
with no english and they manage to chip in
the little English they might have heard
somwhere. E.g. N'wam, ichoro i'le DVD
(igbo) etc
7. ENGLISH GURU'S: they are high
academic intellectuals and lovers of good
diction and fluency in spoken English, if you
are not of their category,you wud end up
understanding 90% less of what they said
E.g obscurantism among bourgeoisies
necessitated poverty aggravation leading
to decline in Giant of Africa's already
debunked economy. Etc....hahahahahaha..
8. ENGLISH NEUTRALIST: they speak
English on a neutral level and make little
mistakes as normal. My girl friend has been
disvirgined (wrong), my galfriend has been
deflowered (right)...such person learns
easily unlike the
9. ENGLISH STAGNANTS: Even if they hear
a new word,they usually assume they knw,
this set ar like the neutralist,is just they
dnt like growing,they are confortable with
the little they can speak and once in a blue
moon they learn one minor thing.
9. ENGLISH SHORTHANDS: many of them
are on facebook. This is what u wud always
see especially when there is a serious
matter/issue on ground..."lol, lwkmd, post
this asap for me, mtchew, *winks*, instead
of HI,they wud say "I", etc.
10. ENGLISH POETS: They are good in
English.literature and poetry.e.g "Noise
rented the air and upon razzmatazz,i saw
mobs;some with tires,kerosene and a
match box to cause the demise of a
pilferer whom i guess was accused
wrongfully. Say no to jungle justice!"
God bless you dear...kingsley...............
....is there any category am missing
out...pls....add

Am more of GURU n POET....

You have said ya own...