delinb: What will be a good punishment for your wife if she disobey you? Lately my wife has developed habbit of doing what I asked her not to do. Am hot tempered and I have tried my best to control my anger all this while BUT .........

chaircover: Debrief dear how are you? Hope you are good

debrief08: Poster, If you are a Christian then I suggest you study your Bible very well, Husbands are instructed to LOVE their wives just as Christ Loved us with this kind of Love in 1st Corinthians 13:

 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.

With this kind of Love comes peace, submission and respect.
The reason why the Bible stated women should submit is because when a man loves you with the love described above some may take it for granted, so for balance the man is to love while the wife is instructed to submit to love.

There is too much emphasis on submission and none on love or very little on love.

From the passage above the kind of ego you described has no place in a Christian marriage and should be far from you as the head of your home.
If your love is pure, not rude, not arrogant and not boastful, and most importantly you don't seek to hurt or "Punish" your wife, half of the problems in your marriage will be over.

I beg churches to clearly explain this part to men, we have hammered too much on submission that most men just assume it is a given and have no work to do to earn it apart from just being a man and marrying someone.

Submission only works when it is done to a man who knows his own role and understands the value of submission, Submission is not to massage your ego, submission is a fruit of love.

yellowpawpaw: This woman has suffered! Chei!
Next topic' how to divorce an ugly wife'!

Oya, make una begin advice am now.
Orishirishi!


Infact, I'm available o!
Padded front and back.
Can make u hv hbp in bed.
And make sure u r fully loaded!
When u r done with d divorce,
Contact me

delinb: What will be a good punishment for your wife if she disobey you? Lately my wife has developed habbit of doing what I asked her not to do. Am hot tempered and I have tried my best to control my anger all this while BUT .........

debrief08: Poster, If you are a Christian then I suggest you study your Bible very well, Husbands are instructed to LOVE their wives just as Christ Loved us with this kind of Love in 1st Corinthians 13:

 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.

With this kind of Love comes peace, submission and respect.
The reason why the Bible stated women should submit is because when a man loves you with the love described above some may take it for granted, so for balance the man is to love while the wife is instructed to submit to love.

There is too much emphasis on submission and none on love or very little on love.

From the passage above the kind of ego you described has no place in a Christian marriage and should be far from you as the head of your home.
If your love is pure, not rude, not arrogant and not boastful, and most importantly you don't seek to hurt or "Punish" your wife, half of the problems in your marriage will be over.

I beg churches to clearly explain this part to men, we have hammered too much on submission that most men just assume it is a given and have no work to do to earn it apart from just being a man and marrying someone.

Submission only works when it is done to a man who knows his own role and understands the value of submission, Submission is not to massage your ego, submission is a fruit of love.

jay bee: Potential abuser alert

Punishment and disobedience in the same sentence

One question bro, did you buy your wife?

chaircover: OP ive read a few of your previous posts about the different issues that you have with your wife and my only advise for you it that you both need to reset your settings, go back to the drawing board and start again.

I dont know if you had any pre marital counselling, but if you didnt, you both really need to invest in building this marriage if you dont want to be another statistic. The foundation doesnt seem right, but if you are both committed to making it work, then there is still hope.

Find yourself a good marriage counsellior and take yourselves there, if you are Christians, the go and read and understand what God says about marriage in the Bible. Buy books on marriage, attend marriage seminars and get close to role models who are living in successful marriages.

As for the ego, yes men have ego's but too much of anything is bad and it will destroy you and your relationships, not just with your wife.

Its really easy to get through to your partner only if you know how and that is what you should be aiming at. Force does not solve anything, it only escalates the situation.

Your wife is not your junior in secondary school that you punish. You need to change that mindset pronto. You will punish her and then sleep with her? when you mess up do you punish yourself? your wife is your other half and a part of you and not some random stranger. If she wrongs you, then you correct her in love. May God help your marriage. Amen

kulyie: gbam! You have said it all.the way society and african magic hammers on s female ubmission,you will think all women dont have sense.your husband is right,your husband knows better,oko lolori aya, bla bla bla,they dont hammer the roles/responsibilities of a man to his wife for him to EARN THAT SUBMISSION.an average nigerian man expects that when you marry,you should drop your self will,and place your choice and right to decision below him.your life,brain,decision,mood,thought,everything must revolve around him.infact the reason for your existence is because of him.by the way even the bible places a condition for women to submit to their husband,which is love.when a man loves a woman GENUINELY,(NOT THIS ARTIFICIAL LOVE WE HAVE THIS DAYS LACED WITH DECEIT AND MONEY),the woman finds it Very easy to submit,but when your school of thought is i am the master over you,i paid your bride price,i am your oga,submission will be very difficult,thats why men are complaining this days that women are becoming unsubmissive.they are not like our grandmothers and all.the reason is not because of education or exposure per se,its because the love men have is very ARTIFICIAL AND FAKE.once the figure 8 goes or once the money goes,the love/respect for their wives starts going and as the love/respect diminishes the submission too diminishes.its tit for tat,thats all

delinb: What will be a good punishment for your wife if she disobey you? Lately my wife has developed habbit of doing what I asked her not to do. Am hot tempered and I have tried my best to control my anger all this while BUT .........

Efemena_xy:

This woman!

When are you gonna start paragraphing your texts? Abeg have mercy on us mere mortals na!

Anyway, what you say is true to an extent, but many of us you women are to blame for this. The saying: Women are their own worst enemies is so true.

~ For majority of the women in Naija, if a girl of marriageable age is not hitched before reaching a certain time span (shebi it's age 30?), she looked upon as a lesser human. She never arrive and has no say when the 'big girls' or madams are talking

~ Every one takes it upon themselves to 'warn' her that her biological clock's ticking...(even her parents and family members!)what is she waiting for? She better grab the next man that proposes to her, even if it's as obvious as day that they are an ill-suited pair and don't match or complement each other.

~ Nollywood and African Magic don't help either. They soooooooo send out the wrong message.

~ The aspiration of many young women after higher education is to get married. That is the next milestone and getting married is therefore some big achievement (never mind staying married, or using their education to better themselves as per self-development...)

kulyie: haaa efemena mabinu no vex,i am not used to obeying punctuations when typing on my phone,i will try and adjust



anyway you are right.the kinds of thrash nollywood yoruba produce that they call 'movies' disgust me like crazy.if i see any nollywood movie by ogogo,saheed balogun,yinka quadri etc,i dont need to be told that it is all this women subjugation movies,portraying women as senseless and it is only marriage that will make them responsible.afterall,i have heard that statement before,when a woman gets married,irrespective of the kind of man she marries,as long as she is married,she is responsible.in other words.as for a single woman,single mother,divorce or widow,they are not responsible.as a matter of fact,if a man dies,it is the woman (widow) that killed her husband,but if it is the woman that died,even if it is the man that beat her,it is the handi work of God and yes women too are their own worst enemies.all the strength and apabilities a woman is supposed to use to develop herself,she will use it to scheme,backbite and plan about bringing another woman down,so the summary of this issue is that society is very unkind to women and even women are more mean to each other,aggravated by society of course

kreami diva:



Anwuola m ooooo! Kai! Smh! Good people of nairaland,its not fair o. Give the brother some "intelligent response" nah. Why is the reverse the case If you were all married,you would have understood his point African men sure do have ego (baaaad one o) .So please put yourselves in his opanka shoes ...Lwkmd4h

#falls on the floor clutching my stomach#

delinb: I expect intelligent response from you guys but the reverse is the case. If you are married then you will understand my point. We African men have ego so try and put urself in my shoe.

bellong: The Lord, Master and Emperor of his own home came on here seeking for an easy method of punishing his erring subject, wife, you people are preaching and making jest of His Royal Majesty... He has arsenal of weapons to deal with the disobedient subject, he is only looking for a soft-landing for her.

@Emperor Delinb,

On behalf of everybody here, I plead with you to temper justice with mercy. Do not mind the people making jest of you, some of them do not have a subject to deal with at home, so they have no idea on how frustrating it could be when your authority is undermined. I will give you tips from a book titled "How to put your woman in her place and destroy your home" written by Prof. Lucifer Angelo, in the 1st Century BC. Find the useful tips below..

1. When she is in the midst of her friends, shout her down and if necessary slap her if she talks back at you
2. Put her in house detention from dawn to dusk. Use a spare room in your flat for this. Trick her into the spare room, lock the room and walk away till you are ready to release her from detention.
3. Make her fetch water in a basket till its full. If she can't do that, do not let her enter the house.
4. Let her write this statement in one million times, "I will never disobey your royal majesty again"..
5. For every meal time, make her prepare five different types of dishes, throw away 4 of them, leave the fifth to rot without eating. Do this for only two weeks.

Those five points are enough for now, will give you more tips when you are done with those or you get a copy of the book.

CAVEAT: Do the above at your own peril. Even if your wife is the devil, there are ways to resolve differences than looking for how to punish an ADULT. When you are ready to learn and understand what it means to be an husband, maybe we can get started on a good discussion.
I suggest you both go for a Marriage Internship.

judii: @ OP,love your wife like the Bible says and you would be shocked how obedient she would become. Try it and return back here with testimonies because I'm 100 percent sure it works like magic.

Efemena_xy:
This woman!

When are you gonna start paragraphing your texts? Abeg have mercy on us mere mortals na!

Phema: Debrief and Chaircover are just too kind. This man doesn't need any advice, he needs to be flogged!

Now, babyosisi where is that your legendary pepper laced Hausa cain?