Chin chin the lady mean gan gan
Puff puff could do not chin chin
Like you said, maybe she was intentionally sending you a message "no come again, I no fit"

Hot Potato: I once went for an interview in Lagos then, and had to stay in my friend's house for 2 nights. The morning of the interview, he left for work very early as usual, only for the wife to come around 10am to ask me if i would take tea with Chin-Chin as breakfast, because she had enough in the fridge. I told her that i don't eat Chin-Chin, and she said ok, that she's going to buy bread for me. I ended up not seeing either the woman or the bread again until i went to tell her by 2pm that i was leaving for the job interview.

babyosisi:

No way
I don't know if you are married or not but if you are, please do not do what you just described to guests in your home especially your husband's friends and relatives or else,I guarantee you will have a thread in this section asking for an intervention.
If unable to treat guest properly with the right etiquette ,tell them they cannot come
Be upfront
That is a more noble thing to do

If I call you and ask if I can stay overnight at your home and you accept,I expect you to serve me breakfast in the morning or tell me where I can get the breakfast stuff if you are leaving early
And you and I know that chin chin is not breakfast,it is a snack like peanuts
A cup of tea and two slices of bread won't make that family bankrupt.
If it was the last 2 slices of bread I had after the kids had eaten,I would give it to that guest and drink water.
That is the proper way to act in such circumstance
There are some things outsiders shouldn't hear and this is one
That someone came to your home and you treated them this shabbily including expecting them to go out in search of their own meals
Courtesy demands that you make provision for those meals,it is up to them to decline
That ,or you turn down requests from anyone visiting.

Thank you very much ooo. Some posts here are just alarming

Yield:

Firstly, I’m not married. I’m single and the last thing on my mind right now is marriage. I’m probably the most welcoming person you will ever meet. Even if a friend comes over to my place, I will cook for her. Secondly, you do not have the right to tell anyone how to act in their home. If you go over to someone’s house and they offer you something to eat, show gratitude. Just saying “I don’t eat that” is rude and makes you an ingrate. I’m not sure why the woman asked if he wanted chin-chin, but even if he didn't want to eat that, he should’ve smiled and thanked her, but he thought he had a sense of entitlement in their home. Thirdly, we’re talking about breakfast here. If it was dinner and she had cooked for the whole family and didn’t cook for the guest, that would be a different story. Her husband had already left early for work that morning and gone about his own day. It is not their responsibility to feed this guy or approaching him in the morning with food, and that is the truth. I don’t know what sort of arrangement he made with the family, but since they were allowing him to stay in their home, I don’t think they would’ve had a problem with him making his own breakfast. I don’t think they would’ve had a problem with him making his own tea and eating bread or whatever. In my previous post, I wasn’t even saying he couldn’t eat any of their own food (I’m sure they never told him that either!), but the take-home I got from his post was that he “expected” her to be making food for him, which was the basis of my response. If a friend lets me stay over for two days, I would’nt expect him/her to be feeding me. You don’t go to someone else’s home and expect them to do jack. Knowing me, probably would’ve offered him some good food to eat in the morning, but I’m not her. You can’t control what someone does, all you can control is your reaction. If you react negatively, depending on the individual he/she might just react negatively too or pull back from the situation, which was what the woman did and I don't blame her.

Anybody that does anything short of the part highlighted above is a terrible host
Nobody puts a gun to anybody's head to act right but anything short of that makes you a terrible host
And courtesy demands that you treat your guests right
That is my summary
No need for dogon turenchi

I don't see anything wrong with it if you actually spent the night in your friends house as you seize to be an ordinary visitor when you decided to spend a night or two.

And who knows, maybe they are the type of homes, that eat meals , once a day...especially @ night....lol .....and morning time? .... Of course no food nah.... Just tea would do.... Chinchin sef , na luxury .....then lunch! Oh my God, u go wait....u go taya!....
Oh Lord, some visitors in people's homes are just funny , sha.... Expecting assorted, in someone's home....u never know far!
Do u know how the dynamics in their homes, work?...keep expecting...the economy has made courtesy fly off the windows....

But if I were the one, It's either my home is not available, cos am traveling with my family or sacrifice and make the visitor comfortable small... Not too much..

poshdiva:

Thank you very much ooo. Some posts here are just alarming

My dear,the way people reason here boggles (sp) the mind

What is next?
A woman serves her guest garri to drink

True, one came to visit me during spring break and wanted only soy milk, wheat everything (bread, spaghetti etc), free roam eggs, no pepper in food and many more. Wheat bread is understandable but the demand for wheat spaghetti
She enjoyed herself and planning on visiting again next spring, no more next visit for now.
We should visit with open mind and don't expect anything from your host/hostess.

Amelian: And who knows, maybe they are the type of homes, that eat meals , once a day...especially @ night....lol .....and morning time? .... Of course no food nah.... Just tea would do.... Chinchin sef , na luxury .....then lunch! Oh my God, u go wait....u go taya!....
Oh Lord, some visitors in people's homes are just funny , sha.... Expecting assorted, in someone's home....u never know far!
Do u know how the dynamics in their homes, work?...keep expecting...the economy has made courtesy fly off the windows....

But if I were the one, It's either my home is not available, cos am traveling with my family or sacrifice and make the visitor comfortable small... Not too much..

babyosisi:

Please don't mind them,some people just oppose stuff for opposition sake
Someone already gave a good answer
If you don't have the time or resources to entertain a guest properly especially when you knew they were coming,you either tell them so they are Prepared while coming or you ask them not to come
Simple
I absolutely do not have any respect for people who don't know how to entertain guests in their home
I am not talking about lavish entertainments but the basic stuff
It is inexcusable
Whenever you invite or accept a guest you should provide them with meals,proper meals,have a clean bedsheets and pillow slips on the bed and sweep and dust the room they will stay in.
That is what you sign on by allowing them to come
My hubby and I don't eat yam that much
I could go months without eating plantain
But when I invite guests overnight ,I buy yams,plantains,coffee and other things I don't have ordinarily because I don't know what they may prefer.
I usually ,like most Naija women have stew ,soup and cooked jollof in my fridge at almost anytime you come to my house and if there is a guest coming,I make sure you are provided for.
I show you where things are in the house so you can help yourself when I am away at work
I make out time to sit and chat with them and for the Nigerian guests drive them to stores for shopping
If I don't have that time to do all that I will decline your request to come at that time and tell you when you can come
Short and simple.
Some things are just inexcusable

So you are saying they should have left him stranded to go lodge in a hotel or maybe even miss the interview, just because they can't afford to offer him a royal breakfast

That's a new one . . . .

Remember that this woman is not his friend, her husband is. She probably only met him for the first time. If anyone had an obligation to explain anything to him, it's the husband, not her.

She obviosuly wasn't happy with his presence there and untill you know her reason for reacting that way, it's unfair to judge her.

God knows if my husband invites an unwanted guest into our home he'll be the one serving him meals. Of course I myself will leave for work in the morning as well and leave the guest to fend for himself.

Remember he wasn't invited, he probably just called them a day in advance.

IMO, I don't think they 'owed' him any bf. Yes maybe the should have turned him down but which would be make more sense?

Give him a room and not bother about bf or deprive him of the room because you can't give him a royal bf?

Ujujoan:
So you are saying they should have left him stranded to go lodge in a hotel or maybe even miss the interview, just because they can't afford to offer him a royal breakfast

That's a new one . . . .

Remember that this woman is not his friend, her husband is. She probably only met him for the first time. If anyone had an obligation to explain anything to him, it's the husband, not her.

She obviosuly wasn't happy with his presence there and untill you know her reason for reacting that way, it's unfair to judge her.

God knows if my husband invites an unwanted guest into our home he'll be the one serving him meals Of course I myself will leave for work in the morning as well and leave the guest to fend for himself.

Remember he wasn't invited, he probably just called them a day in advance.

IMO, I don't think they 'owed' him any bf. Yes maybe the should have turned him down but which would be make more sense?

Give him a room and not bother about bf or deprive him of the room because you can't give him a royal bf?

I didn't know slices of bread with tea is called royal breakfast in Nigeria
You seem to be making up the scenario in his post as you go along
Read it again

I once went for an interview in Lagos then, and had to stay in my friend's house for 2 nights. The morning of the interview, he left for work very early as usual, only for the wife to come around 10am to ask me if i would take tea with Chin-Chin as breakfast, because she had enough in the fridge. I told her that i don't eat Chin-Chin, and she said ok, that she's going to buy bread for me. I ended up not seeing either the woman or the bread again until i went to tell her by 2pm that i was leaving for the job interview.

There it is
Nothing there tells us he was an unwanted guest or came in unannounced
Nothing tells us the wife was not aware of his coming
Nothing tells us she had never met him ,which is actually a silly reason to be a shabby host.i would be more inclined to serve chin chin or gala to someone I am familiar with and serve the proper meal to someone I just met.
Unwanted guests by your interpretation btw meaning a guest not approved and signed off on by the wife
Interesting isn't it?
Would you also abscond or hide on the pretense of going to buy bread for 4 hrs?
What happened to being upfront and telling him that is all the breakfast food you have?


Obviously our views are totally different there so I now understand where you are coming from and why you see nothing wrong here
If my husband prevailed on me to have a guest stay over a few days( which has happened) and I absolutely was not up for it,that guest will never never know about it.
I will do exactly like I would with other guests in my home and when the guest is gone,na me and that husband go put leg for trouser
That is a mature way to handle things I would think.

The woman is an a$$ I'm sorry.
She made herself look like an A$$ and by so doing made her husband look bad

This topic is quite interesting. I see baby_osisi's point and I definitely see Uju's point. Everybody has a different life style and quite frankly I cannot serve anybody bread and tea as breakfast. If I was going out of town and for whatever reason I ask a friend if I could stay with them I would not go there thinking that I will be catered to. When I leave there I would not feel animosity towards said friend because I was not served a proper meal. My schedule can be very erratic. There are days that I have accomplished more than other people would have accomplished by 5pm by 7am. Yes. I have those days. So maybe that is why I do not impose myself on people and why I just accept most things. I know chin chin is not standard breakfast food but if someone offered it to me for breakfast I will eat it or just say tea will be fine or just show be the kettle and I can handle it myself. So baby_osisi point of view is to tell the guest that she cannot host him if she would not have the time to cater to the guest while Uju has no problem with the guest staying at her place but please do not expect me to work things around for you.

This thread is very funny!
Both the first and second women fall hand.
Food? The least expensive thing u can offer a visitor is now a problem.
Nawao!
Unless they r not in my abode, I will spoil them with my generosity.
I've had uninvited, invited, hubby's friends, sleep overs and those that pop in to deliver message, u must feel that magic touch.
There r things I hv in my house that hubby is not aware of.(Secret from my momma). It pays to be a good host o!
Also, I hv my hubby's back to cover.
Am I a kid?

chin chin for breakfast? some people sef, na wa o.

vivianc: chin chin for breakfast? some people sef, na wa o.

E for soak garri give am!
I personally hate chin chin. Na so u go dey wine ur mouth up and down early in d morning like goat.

Bite me

All the big madams here want to show us that they can entertain guests very well
Okies, we have heard!

As far as the madam in Ops story goes, I won't judge her
Her condition I cannot tell
There are some families that are really strongly and that sometimes translates into being reluctant to cater for an extra mouth food wise
Accommodation is free so she doesn't lose anything
But feeding him breakfast now might mean he comes to expect it whenever he comes and trust me some people in Nigeria are really struggling. Don't compare your nice and comfy lifestyle in UK/US and proper upbringing with the actions or inactions of someone who is barely making ends meet in Nigeria

If someone was to ask some of you for the equivalent hospitality, it won't be bread and tea, it ll be school fees / sponsorship for a brilliant but needy relative and that is the real litmus test. Till that time please leave the madam in Ops story and stop judging cuz we can't see what your own house is like .

Bite me

yellowpawpaw:
E for soak garri give am!
I personally hate chin chin. Na so u go dey wine ur mouth up and down early in d morning like goat.

My dear I tire o!

Sometimes i wonder what Moderators in this section are doing. This kind of thread should be nominated for frontpage so that forum members will air their views on this matter
@OP i'm quite shocked at the posts on this thread. Is it that when one gets married, everything that was simple becomes complicated? Even one poster was berating the OP that he came to 'chop' in his friends house, mocking the OP that took his precious time, used up petrol he could have saved for something else to visit a friend. He even bought things for the family and someone is insinuating that the OP is hungry and wants to be fed in someone house? Like are you kidding When did taking care of your guests become a problem for women? Even as guys and university undergraduates before they all graduated i had so many of my friends over, immediately they get to my place, everything they need, to be comfortable becomes my responsibilty, and of course they return the favour when i visit them also. A married woman that treats the husband's guests like the OP was treated doesn't respect the husband period.

Please original OP, i never intended to hijack your post. But be that as it may, it's very unfortunate how some people have reasoned here. Like i said in one of my earlier posts, i had gone out to eat before she came offering me the stuff. Just because i was a guest wouldn't make me take whatever i was offered.

I think there's an error with one of the notions here - a guest staying with friends on a visit should be grateful because s/he would save some cash cos s/he won't pay lodging bills. That's not totally true,at least for me and my folks.

I prefer staying with friends,family when I travel because :
Company : staying alone in hotels can BE very lonely.
Warmth and security
Home made good food,not because I cannot afford to eat out
Catching up, gisting, general gossip.
At the end of the day,chances are that I'll end up spending more than I would have spent if I were alone in a hotel. (Gifts,hanging out etc) and its a pleasure.

However,TRUE friends are always true to themselves. If your "host" is going through tough times,you'll know or notice and won't wait for their "nyash to open" before "supporting" them.

Chin chin and tea episode still cracks me up. How is anyone supposed to eat that?

chaircover: Would this wife have served her own mother who came to visit with chin chin for breakfast? Yes I understand that some people dont think straight and dont set out to be wicked, but how come it took her 4 hours to go get the loaf of bread? The 10am breakfast offer was too late to start with not to talk about 2pm.

Marriage is not just about giving good sexx and popping out kids every year. How will the husband feel if he comes back and finds that his friend wasn't offered anything tangible to eat all day? Many women dont have their husbands listening ear because they are just a thorn in the mans side and and always trying to prove a point and to make the man look stupid all the time. Even if a woman has issues with her husband, they should always have an united front and sort our their issues behind closed doors and not in front of guests.

Using myself as an example, even though we dont drink, we always have an unopened bottle of Moet and red and white wine in our cuboard, I always have an unopened pack of good quality biscuits, packs of carton drinks for kids and crisps/sweets/chocolates for when kids visit unexpectedly or something for parents to take back to their kids. No kid comes to my house and leaves empty handed. I also order meatpies and freeze and reheat as required when I have guests who dont want a proper meal but just a snack.

We dont eat breakfast on weekdays, but any guest that sleeps over will have breakfast on a wednesday, even if it means me waking up to cook yam and place it in the cooler before going to work. Its not a permanent situation and I know that there are other areas in which I may inconvenience other people/people do things for me too at some point in my life. But then I hear stories of people who lock their kitchen and wonder why. No man is an island, no matter how rich you are.

With longer term guests, younger or older. I tell them upfront to feel free and to eat what they want and I just stock up the house for them. I will even buy things that we dont eat just to make them comfortable.

Anyway I derive great pleasure from knowing that my guests come to my house and leave satisfied, not just with food, my time and making sure your room has clean crisp sheets and other small small things to make you comfortable such as water/glass beside your bed etc to make sure that you have an enjoyable stay in my home.

CC, a very good post and I have highlighted some very important points. The truth is that both sides have good points. My house is like your house. Infact for a period of three years (36 months), we had guests staying with us for around 30 months. Some friends will joke my house is a small hotel and thre was a time last year, we were a total of eleven people in our home. We are just a family of four. My wife and I love hosting people. Its not just about food, we also will make sure we give you our time and make you feel comfortable. We reduced it a bit when we realised some people were abusing the priviledge and also found out that some will not reciprocate out gesture. I completely agree that a husband's friend cannot be an unwanted guest.

However Uju and Yield have some very valid points as well. You cannot dictate the lifestyle of your host. I also travel and have to stay with people often times and I can tell you that the only place that I visit where I request for food is my parents house. I can do that cos its my parents house and my mum is retired. I will not ask in my brother's or sister's house. Everywhere else, I wait to be invited and never complain if I am not offered food. Most times I stay with my brother. His wife now runs her own business and she is the first to leave the house in the morning with the kids and househelp as the househelps help her in her business. Most times I wouldnt even be awake when she leaves. She doesnt make me breakfast, I know I am not a visitor so I can always go to their fridge and get something myself but most times I just go to Chicken republic or kilimanjaro to get something. Thankfully my bro would provide his driver and that is really what I need.

Lifestyles are different and we need to understand that. I like your approach to hosting people but a very important element you should consider is that most people cannot afford your lifestyle. They cant afford to buy MOET and keep in the fridge for visitors and you cant fault them for not having enough. And for some families, both husband and wife are on the road by 630am so you cant blame them if they dont provide you breakfast. If it is their lifestyle I am sorry they may not always change it at short notice. So, while I and my wife love hosting people, I will not blame or fault any other person that is not like me. They may not have as much money or time as I have. Unless of cos it is intentional!

tawa89: Sometimes i wonder what Moderators in this section are doing. This kind of thread should be nominated for frontpage so that forum members will air their views on this matter
@OP i'm quite shocked at the posts on this thread. Is it that when one gets married, everything that was simple becomes complicated? Even one poster was berating the OP that he came to 'chop' in his friends house, mocking the OP that took his precious time, used up petrol he could have saved for something else to visit a friend. He even bought things for the family and someone is insinuating that the OP is hungry and wants to be fed in someone house? Like are you kidding When did taking care of your guests become a problem for women? Even as guys and university undergraduates before they all graduated i had so many of my friends over, immediately they get to my place, everything they need, to be comfortable becomes my responsibilty, and of course they return the favour when i visit them also. A married woman that treats the husband's guests like the OP was treated doesn't respect the husband period.

Infact bros, I'm still very much in shock at some responses both to the Op's plight and the other poster. I'm not married yet, but my mum is too much of a good host that I can not afford not to be one. There is no guest that comes to my house that leaves without being entertained, depending on the situation and time of the day. It could be drink, wine, bread n tea, yam n egg, rice and stew, or even solid! Even my mum's over-entertainment gets on my nerves, but I know the guest are always happy leaving n my bro is always receiving
A token from them in appreciation.

Taking the 2nd story for example, What is the big deal\luxury in bread and tea? For just 2days? So because you've already offered him a room over his head, he doesn't deserve any food? The food you know he can afford, why be a host at all if you'll be a bad one. Does she think her own hubby or herself can never find themselves as guests in people's houses?

As for the Op too, if both the hosts and guests are not eating the food together with the other food prepared by the host like ile explained, I see no reason why a guest should be served his own gifts, after 40minutes for that matter. Op informed them before coming, courtesy demands a little bit of sensitivity from them by entertaining him with their own 'food'. This one is More like a 'gba je ki n gbadun' kinda thing.


Men, it is not the wives' duty alone to cater for guests, especially when they are your own guests and not mutual friends. If you have been unfortunate to marry a bad host, then take it upon yourselves to entertain your own friends to save you the embarrassment. If as bachelors, you did so, nothing stops you from continuing instead of allowing your wife to embarrass you.

Nashville:

CC, a very good post and I have highlighted some very important points. The truth is that both sides have good points. My house is like your house. Infact for a period of three years (36 months), we had guests staying with us for around 30 months. Some friends will joke my house is a small hotel and thre was a time last year, we were a total of eleven people in our home. We are just a family of four. My wife and I love hosting people. Its not just about food, we also will make sure we give you our time and make you feel comfortable. We reduced it a bit when we realised some people were abusing the priviledge and also found out that some will not reciprocate out gesture. I completely agree that a husband's friend cannot be an unwanted guest.

However Uju and Yield have some very valid points as well. You cannot dictate the lifestyle of your host. I also travel and have to stay with people often times and I can tell you that the only place that I visit where I request for food is my parents house. I can do that cos its my parents house and my mum is retired. I will not ask in my brother's or sister's house. Everywhere else, I wait to be invited and never complain if I am not offered food. Most times I stay with my brother. His wife now runs her own business and she is the first to leave the house in the morning with the kids and househelp as the househelps help her in her business. Most times I wouldnt even be awake when she leaves. She doesnt make me breakfast, I know I am not a visitor so I can always go to their fridge and get something myself but most times I just go to Chicken republic or kilimanjaro to get something. Thankfully my bro would provide his driver and that is really what I need.

Lifestyles are different and we need to understand that. I like your approach to hosting people but a very important element you should consider is that most people cannot afford your lifestyle. They cant afford to buy MOET and keep in the fridge for visitors and you cant fault them for not having enough. And for some families, both husband and wife are on the road by 630am so you cant blame them if they dont provide you breakfast. If it is their lifestyle I am sorry they may not always change it at short notice. So, while I and my wife love hosting people, I will not blame or fault any other person that is not like me. They may not have as much money or time as I have. Unless of cos it is intentional!

I like your post a lot!

A friend of mine thought me a very important lesson:

To appreciate whatever anyone offers me. He might complain about the food at home but will never complain about the food he's given outside. He will manage it however bad and if it's so terrible, he will smile, thank them so much and leave it.

We should remember that everyone's upbringing and outlook to life is different.

Are some hosts wicked and selfish? Yes; Are some naturally bad hosts? Yes; Are some excellent hosts? Yes

ifyalways: I think there's an error with one of the notions here - a guest staying with friends on a visit should be grateful because s/he would save some cash cos s/he won't pay lodging bills. That's not totally true,at least for me and my folks.

I prefer staying with friends,family when I travel because :
Company : staying alone in hotels can BE very lonely.
Warmth and security
Home made good food,not because I cannot afford to eat out
Catching up, gisting, general gossip.
At the end of the day,chances are that I'll end up spending more than I would have spent if I were alone in a hotel. (Gifts,hanging out etc) and its a pleasure.

However,TRUE friends are always true to themselves. If your "host" is going through tough times,you'll know or notice and won't wait for their "nyash to open" before "supporting" them.

Chin chin and tea episode still cracks me up. How is anyone supposed to eat that?

Maybe if the guy had bought just one loaf of bread for the family while coming, I'm sure the woman would have offered it to him with the tea instead of with chin chin . . . . .

Most often, in our comfort, we forget that some people don't actually have anything.

That 100 naira might be very difficult for a woman who doesn't work to cough out, especially when the guest was not invited and the husband who invited him had abandoned them.

IMO, the guy was inconsiderate of his hosts. He would have politely turned the bf down since he had already gone to 'arrange' himself; instead of allowing the poor woman to stress over something she probably couldn't help.

Ujujoan:

Maybe if the guy had bought just one loaf of bread for the family while coming, I'm sure the woman would have offered it to him with the tea instead of with chin chin . . . . .

Most often, in our comfort, we forget that some people don't actually have anything.

That 100 naira might be very difficult for a woman who doesn't work to cough out, especially when the guest was not invited and the husband who invited him had abandoned them.

IMO, the guy was inconsiderate of his hosts. He would have politely turned the bf down since he had already gone to 'arrange' himself; instead of allowing the poor woman to stress over something she probably couldn't help.

LOL
Truly,there are indeed some very bad and stingy guests too.
As a kid,I still remember very mean guests who not only come empty handed when they visit but would still take from us children. eg Them go follow us dey drag biscuit,sweet wey momsie buy us. Ofcourse,when they return again,I try as much as possible to show them that they are not welcome. Some go even come with nothing and wont be ashamed to collect dry fish,crayfish(my grannie was a merchant so we always had enough of those two commodities) when leaving.

Choi

babyosisi:

I didn't know slices of bread with tea is called royal breakfast in Nigeria
You seem to be making up the scenario in his post as you go along
Read it again

There it is
Nothing there tells us he was an unwanted guest or came in unannounced
Nothing tells us the wife was not aware of his coming
Nothing tells us she had never met him ,which is actually a silly reason to be a shabby host.i would be more inclined to serve chin chin or gala to someone I am familiar with and serve the proper meal to someone I just met.
Unwanted guests by your interpretation btw meaning a guest not approved and signed off on by the wife
Interesting isn't it?
Would you also abscond or hide on the pretense of going to buy bread for 4 hrs?
What happened to being upfront and telling him that is all the breakfast food you have?


Obviously our views are totally different there so I now understand where you are coming from and why you see nothing wrong here
If my husband prevailed on me to have a guest stay over a few days( which has happened) and I absolutely was not up for it,that guest will never never know about it.
I will do exactly like I would with other guests in my home and when the guest is gone,na me and that husband go put leg for trouser
That is a mature way to handle things I would think.

The woman is an a$$ I'm sorry.
She made herself look like an A$$ and by so doing made her husband look bad

I'm sure you can afford a loaf of bread yourself . . . even without your husband's money . . . not everybody is like that!

this woman is a full time HW. Do you know if her hubby left any money for her before leaving the house that morning? The fact that she attempted to offer something shows she was in a dilemma of her own and didn't know a way out.

chaircover: Onyine dear, Its nothing to do with big madamsim. I grew up in Nigeria. I know how my own mother treated our guests and even up until now she is one of the most hospitable women that I know and I learnt so much from her. She will go without so that you can have. It’s not about money. You can have very little and still be hospitable. The first time my mum visited my MIL, She gave my mum a big bowl of water to welcome her, before she went off to do anything else. My mum always remembers that gesture. Yoruba’s call it aajo.


It’s not about affluence or money. I am sure there are many people much much richer than us, who will not offer anything and I have seen people with very little, but prepared to share even the little that they have. Bottom line is that I enjoy Peoples Company, peoples comfort and putting a smile on peoples faces.

In this couples case, There are two things involved. Yes they may have financial issues, but if they have made the effort to accommodate a house guest, then there is nothing stopping them from explaining to the guest why he wont be getting breakfast.

Nothing wrong in saying Uncle, brother, Mr or whatever you want to call him. So sorry but your friend forgot to leave food money this morning. What do we do now? . . and I am sure the guest would have said don’t worry I will sort myself out or even bought breakfast for them both. Even if she could not afford N70 bread, her making the effort to explain things would have made a big difference and we wont even be having this conversation.

I still believe that this wife wouldnt have served her own mother chinchin for breakfast

I agree . . .. but it's not the wife's responsibility to do that.

The husband should have made arrangements for him to have bf before he leaves since he's his friend and he was the one who agreed for the man to come in the first place. If he couldn't, he could have explained to his friend why he won't be getting any bf . . not leave it for his wife to handle.

In my place, you don't turn down your host's offer . . . . They offered him chin chin and he turned it down.

I remember when I was quite young and had to sleep over at a relative's house in onitsha with my dad . . . In the morning we were offered eba with almost rotten egusi soup . . . My dad forced me to eat it and I had to smile all through . .

Back then, I disnt eat egusi (and my dad knew) and even if I did, certainly not for bf . . .

I remember thinking why they didn't just offer us the loaf of bread my dad bought instead of giving me food poisoning (I stooled for daysssss) . .

Now I'm older, I understand what my dad was trying to teach me. You don't look down on what people give you because that might be the best they could offer at that point.

If the guy didn't want the chin chin, he should have rejected bf entirely . . . expecting the woman to go shop for bread for him was completely selfish of him . . . meanwhile he already went to 'arrange' himself without consideration for his hosts!

ifyalways: LOL
Truly,there are indeed some very bad and stingy guests too.
As a kid,I still remember very mean guests who not only come empty handed when they visit but would still take from us children. eg Them go follow us dey drag biscuit,sweet wey momsie buy us. Ofcourse,when they return again,I try as much as possible to show them that they are not welcome. Some go even come with nothing and wont be ashamed to collect dry fish,crayfish(my grannie was a merchant so we always had enough of those two commodities) when leaving.

Choi

Lol . . . .

Just as we have bad hosts, we also have horrible guests . .

Now I can actually tell tose yeye uncles/aunties 'don't come to my house empty-handed oh' and get away with it . . .

ifyalways: LOL
Truly,there are indeed some very bad and stingy guests too.
As a kid,I still remember very mean guests who not only come empty handed when they visit but would still take from us children. eg Them go follow us dey drag biscuit,sweet wey momsie buy us. Ofcourse,when they return again,I try as much as possible to show them that they are not welcome. Some go even come with nothing and wont be ashamed to collect dry fish,crayfish(my grannie was a merchant so we always had enough of those two commodities) when leaving.

Choi

Lol Some Guests no get shame sha.

poshdiva:

Thank you very much ooo. Some posts here are just alarming

You put it better than I would have put it.

I guess we should understand "me and only me" people.

Everything have been said here, the OP didn't even taste the chin chin before complaining. Chin chin is poor man food for Nigerian mentality. Check the ingredient for chin chin, it's even richer than bread and butter.

Whatever you are given, say Thankyou and move on.
Moët for CC might be equivalent to chin chin for that our aunty. You just have to check their net worth.

All fingers are not equal.




In another scene, the madam just go relax for one corner dey laugh the guest wey dey wait for bread and tea

Chai