You and ur bf need to stop staying in the house. You need to start going to recreation parks,restaurants et al.

did you enjoy the experience?
if you did it's quite hard to give up something you enjoy doing no matter what.

@nana
some peeps have been known to do the act in public places (restaurant loos, recreation parks et al)

If you are bent on stopping then i'd advise you to stop seeing each other.

jay bee:

did you enjoy the experience?
if you did it's quite hard to give up something you enjoy doing no matter what.

@nana
some peeps have been known to do the act in public places (restaurant loos, recreation parks et al)

If you are bent on stopping then i'd advise you to stop seeing each other.

lol,aight

jay bee:

did you enjoy the experience?
if you did it's quite hard to give up something you enjoy doing no matter what.

@nana
some peeps have been known to do the act in public places (restaurant loos, recreation parks et al)

If you are bent on stopping then i'd advise you to stop seeing each other.

are u saying i wasnt sposed to enjoy it? and that breaking up with him is the only solution?

offcourse u r supposed to enjoy it but u might have had a different experience if the guy was ur first and it was the first or second time u did it.
some girls have been known to be put off cos of the unbearable pain after their first experience.

As per breaking up, u can probably try to be friends first (seeing each other only in open space) and if it doesn't work then i'm afraid you will have to end it and remain single until u r probably ready.

jay bee:


@nana
some peeps have been known to do the act in public places (restaurant loos, recreation parks et al)

Yeah, There's all kinds of Al Fresco (in fresh air) and then there's the Mile High Club. To get in you've got to have done it in the toilets of an aeroplane that has taken off. Now, I'm not advocating any of this I must hasten to add.

Pastor AIO:

Yeah, There's all kinds of Al Fresco (in fresh air) and then there's the Mile High Club. To get in you've got to have done it in the toilets of an aeroplane that has taken off. Now, I'm not advocating any of this I must hasten to add.

not exactly the help i wanted

How could you have enjoyed the act with the weight of guilt and defilement on your mind?

BTW, did you call out " oh my God, oh my God, oh my God" at the moment of climax?

omg !

@Poster,nobody here can help you but God.If you really want to stop go to him and ask gor Grace to live above sin and temptation and the strenght to resist the Devil.its going to be difficult but its obtainable Only IF YOU really want to stop.Remember,you cant mock God.cheers

I have read all the advices so far. But I must say only God can help though there are measures you can do, and they have to be drastic because it's difficult to stop once you have started.

I appreciate your courage to confess on this forum and ask for help. That means you can do what I want to suggest: Find a trusted, mature Christian around to confess to. Let him or her watch after you and your boyfriend. Why not meet in his/her residence rather than somewhere sex can be easy to do?

I am engaged too and almost defiled the bed lately too. I have found the Deeper Life style of having someone around whenever both of you meet is fine after all. I used to criticise it but I am adopting it in my courtship henceforth.

By all means. we must FLEE otherwise we'd be in trouble.

mightydick,

Your attitude is wrong. It's wrong to be critical to change or help someone. The poor lady needs help not criticism.

And the fact that she messed up with her fiancee does not mean they should break off. That is not necessarily the solution, except the guy insists on sex after the initial act.

Please let us know how to help people without condemning them.

mayorwa:

mightydick,

Your attitude is wrong. It's wrong to be critical to change or help someone. The poor lady needs help not criticism.

And the fact that she messed up with her fiancee does not mean they should break off. That is not necessarily the solution, except the guy insists on sex after the initial act.

Please let us know how to help people without condemning them.

Do you really think that the poster does not know the solution to her own problem? Or is it the case that people of such disposition are incapable of thinking out things for themselves but need to come to a forum such as this to appeal for help?

Too much spoon-feeding of this kind causes the child not to learn to feed herself.

@poster, Its not easy trying to stop dat on ur own,
1. Ask God for forgiveness confess to him.
U said u are finding it difficult to pray, dat's what d devil wants, he will make u feel guilty so as u wont be able to pray afterall he is d accuser of believers.So pray.
2. stop trying instead trust and surrender ur self to God
He loves U and knows ur weakness he will help u.
Then ur part, as some people said try and meet in public places and with people.
The Lord is ur strength.

@Stephanay: Whats marriage bed, if you are not married? You have to be married first, in order that you have a marriage bed. Then you have to struggle (jihad) not to be involved in illicit sex so that you do not defile proverbial "marriage Bed." What you have as a single person is yourself. When you therefore go to having illicit sex, you defile yourself, thereby. But it is more than that. You actually court the displeasure of God Almighty who commanded against it and says that it is a sinful thing.

If Christianity can not at least impressed the evil of illicit sex on your heart, it is because there is no visible punishment as consequence of such an action. I will not say that Islam stops everyone from indulging in illicit sex. But it put all muslims on notice of the physical communual punishment that can result in being found guilty. Look at those societies where islamic jurispudence is merely discussed, the illicit sex is not at an alarming rate as it is in society that does not have the same condition.

Sometimes in the past, there was an article about the nigerian prostituting mainly in Europe. There is a group of people in a state that was notorious for it, who happened to be muslims. the number of muslim women prostituting from this state was negligient, if there is any at all. While they have the same culture or related cultures in this state, the muslims carried a better moral codes on their persons.

What i am therefore saying to you is that if Christianity does not help you, its time to think and quickly grab on to Islam. I can assure you that you will be able to control your libido, through the support you will have from your muslim sisters. I wish you well and God guidance in your quest for success and emotional and spiritual happiness.

Olabowale,

You are nothing but a religion jingoist. You muslims say what you would not accept from anyone because we are given to peace. I hate to join issues with people like you. In any case, you should not be on this thread because it has nothing to do with you or your religion.

Honey it takes repentance not apology ok,cos what ur boy friend is doing is apologising ,so but the very sack of "HEAVEN" l beseech thee that u control ur emotion,repent and come to ur father who understands ur weakness ok,so pls pls come to him he is able to do all things.U can reach me tru the yahoo IM royalprince005@yahoo.com,am online.Genesis

@Shinystar:

Olabowale,

You are nothing but a religion jingoist. You muslims say what you would not accept from anyone because we are given to peace. I hate to join issues with people like you. In any case, you should not be on this thread because it has nothing to do with you or your religion.

Look at the title of the thread, again. Read it for understanding. Stephaney is crying out. She is not religion specific. More importantly, she is my human sister and I can not sit idle and let her waste away emotionally. If reading the Bible and acting Christian have not helped her it is time she tries some other way.

When the doctor applies a particular sure medicine or method of healing on a patient, and there is still not positive effect. The doctor tries even other processes including a new approach. Islam is a new approach for this type of condition: Sexual malady, forgiveness without putting your hope on the blood and suffering of somebodys blood who died on the cross.

Shinystar, how about it? My brother come to Islam. The Yorubas will say, "Jawo kuro ni ti apon tio yoo, gbe omi ila kanoo." It means roughly, abandone your effort to cook unslimy/not sticky ogbonoh, prepare the water on the fire to make Okra soup. I know muslims are not following the injuctions of islam 100%, but they are more restricted than Christians. At least, no muslims can wear skimpy dress without any covering to the muslim to make prayer. However in the case of the Christians, its the norm, with a few bottons loosened on the blouse to expose some part of the breasts or give the insinuation of whats under wrap. I know these things my brother. Am not blind. But I am now immune to it, but not unmindful of it, so I do not trip over some cleavage showing church going gal.

I love my women to be wrapped up gems. Not exposed pyrites, or low grade gem because of over exposure whereby every one can touch and try it, but not interested in the purchase of it. Bro, this is metaphor. I hope you get it.

Dear sister, the very good thing about this is that you are still able to see it as sin, lots of people don't and i commend you for that. Its not easy to stop this thing once you start to be sincere.
The bibel says we should resist the devil but of fornication its says flee, this is to tell you that the only way to avoid falling into this sin is by fleeing not by trying to resist it, we are human and the flesh is weak in cases like this.
My dear God has not condemn you and stop listening to you because you fell into sin, and that you feel condemned is a sign that you still fear and respect God.
my advise it flee, don't break up with him this is not a solution at all, what tells you that it wont happen with the next brother? Try not to stay together alone is places you can easily have sex, make up your mind to stop doing it and see it as a stain on your relationship with God. Meet in open places (although this may not really work all the time), anytime you are together sing it in your heart that you will not disobey God, pray for God to help you as well and just try to flee. i don't know what else to say.

link=topic=147407.msg2455759#msg2455759 date=1215096075:

What i am therefore saying to you is that if Christianity does not help you, its time to think and quickly grab on to Islam. I can assure you that you will be able to control your libido, through the support you will have from your muslim sisters. I wish you well and God guidance in your quest for success and emotional and spiritual happiness.

Islam helps people to control their libido? LMAO, this must be the joke of the century. Some people are better off staying on religious section.

MR olabowale l have respect for u but then, don't u no when to come into a conversation see with due respect we are talking abt Christian faith  nothing less than that  ok,ur  ideas are totally somekind of abstract,find a muslin forum it will be a perfect one for ur ideas ok.Genesis