ESTHER: IMAGE, INFLUENCE AND STATUS Part 1


The bible is a very rich and balanced supply of life and practical wisdom. Today I would like us to take a stop at the book of Esther. We shall deal with three aspects in this special book, namely – Etiquette, Image, Purpose and Influence. Today we will begin with Etiquette. The insights outlined cuts across both genders even where the female gender is emphasized.
There is such a thing as transformation – The Cinderella story where a commoner is transformed both physically and status-wise into a high and mighty position. Whenever we hear such stories it fuels the dreamer in us and rightly so! However, we are going to separate ourselves from the crowd in order to peer behind the curtain; we are going to look passed the glamour and glory everyone else sees to learn the secrets that make such stories a reality.

Synopsis: Esther was an orphan raised by her elder cousin in Shushan the palace of the King of Persia. She was a beautiful Jewess chosen by the king to be his queen; she stopped a plot to massacre all the Jews in Persia (an event celebrated by Jews as the feast of Purim. For more details please read the book). We will examine briefly, space considering, a few attributes that made Esther stand out from about 400 to 1400 women (history calculates), and the attributes that catapulted her influence and enabled her fulfill her God given purpose.
It’s about every woman’s dream to be considered beautiful and to stand out. Sadly, the greater number of women attempt to achieve this by competition, ironically with the same ideologies, principles, and tools used by most women to achieve beauty. An ethereal woman is considered beautiful, admirable and desirable not in comparison with other women but because she stands out in a class of her own. More importantly, her nature transcends her beauty. It is not a matter of similarity and differences but distinction. Every woman is created different and it is only in our differences that we can truly stand out. There are foundational principles that bring out the distinction from the core of a woman and we would be exploring a few of those outlined in the book of Esther.

Etiquette – Deference
I have often said that every human wishes to be respected regardless of whether they deserve it or not. This is true and it serves the giver more than it flatters the receiver when honour is freely bestowed. One mistake a lot of women make is that when they get familiar with a male they throw all niceties in some misguided belief that he has become their personal pet or subordinate by virtue of intimacy. Especially when you get close to someone – especially then! If you wish to have a meaningful relationship and strong favour in his sight you ought to reverence him. Don’t throw away the “please dear”, whenever you want something from him – even something as little as passing an item over to you. Don’t shout out “yes!” at his call; “Yes dear or honey” (or whatever endearment you use) will go a long way to soften the pitch and attribute due reverence. This also applies to men. Vashti, a beautiful woman in her own right such as Esther was, believed that her beauty and relationship or intimacy with the king gave her the of freedom to disregard protocol. Nowadays, we do not receive such harsh judgments for our mistakes as Vashti did but we do lose great ground in the hearts of those we choose to withhold due respect from. Either way, our influence and intimacy is corrupted when etiquette is not practiced. Casual familiarity robs both parties of honour and favour in each other’s sight. One of the crowns of beauty is etiquette – this has no substitute.

Now, we should understand the difference between honour and worship. We honour someone when we give him or her distinct respect and we worship a man when we elevate him or her unquestioningly and uncritically and to the excess such as we should give respect to God alone. Only God should be worshiped. Enough said.

As women, our inclination to etiquette or respect shouldn’t start when we decide we want something (to become queen in Esther’s case) of which we must borrow some principles we believe would assist us. This pretence sometimes gets overly ambitious women unto the positions they desire but it never keeps them there.

Submission
Esther 2:20 “Now, Esther had not revealed her family and her people, just as Mordecai had charged her, for Esther obeyed the command of Mordecai as when she was brought up by him”. My father always told us his children that we must have some authority figure whom we listen to, I agree. Women and men alike should be under authority this saves us from a multitude of pitfalls. Without authoritative counsel we throw off restraint and are caught up in our own delusions. Picture a woman who goes off on a row, who cannot be restrained by her father or her husband or her mother or even an older stranger! A person’s greatness or inferiority is recognized when he or she gets angry. A person of reason doesn’t lose control but looks passed the ill restrained speech and behavior of others without losing his or her dignity. When two people are shouting at the top of their lungs no one can tell the difference. (It might help sometimes to pass in front of a mirror if you’re one who loses your cool often – it is no pretty sight). Esther hid her identity surprisingly well as she was advised and it shows exceptional self control. Because she had the ability to be queen over her compulsions and emotions she was elevated and was a queen of great purpose, image and influence.

Tact
One of the most beautiful and attributes of a woman when wisely nurtured is her tact and subtlety which render great wisdom in such an adorable manner. Without this feminine tact (as opposed to wiles!), despite good intentions, our efforts are often considered rude, brash, domineering and devilish.

I will close with these proverbs that have to do with self-control. Next week we will tackle the importance and place of body/physical preparations and perhaps the secret Esther knew that gave her great influence or favour even in the sight of a ruthless King.
Proverbs 25:28 He that hath no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down, and without walls. (KJV)
Proverbs 16:32 He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city. (KJV)
Proverbs 19:11 The discretion of a man deferreth his anger; and it is his glory to pass over a transgression. (KJV)

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