Dear [____rejectee's name here_____], I regret to inform you that you have been eliminated from further contention as Ms. Right. As you are probably aware, the competition was exceedingly tough and dozens of well qualified candidates such as yourself also failed to make the final cut. I will, however, keep your name on file should an opening become available. So that you may find better success in your future romantic endeavors, please allow me to offer the following reason(s)
you were disqualified from the competition:

[Check all those that apply] ___ Your stomach is bigger than mine.

___ Your name is objectionable subjecting my future children to it could scar and yes, scare them for life.

___ Your inadvertent admission that you "buy shoes by the truckload" indicates that you may be interested in me for something other than my personality.

___ You failed the 20 Question Rule, i.e., I asked you 20 questions about yourself before you asked me one.

___ Your "Putting on a few, aren't you big boy?" comment, given the 9 months pregnant size of your beer gut, was inappropriate.

___ You failed the faithful check.

___ I find your inability to cook & clean my house extraordinarily unappealing.

___ The fact that you live with your Mother reveals an inherent psychological syndrome that I fear is unbreakable.

___ The phrase "My Mother" has popped up far too often in conversation.

___ You mention your ex-boyfriends name more than you mention mine.

___ Three words: looks do matter.

Sincerely, [Your name here]

hmmm

LOL!!!

Whats funny?

There's nothn civilized about dumping anybody.

@ Poster
I find your inability to cook & clean my house extraordinarily unappealing
Then get ur mother or younger sister to cook and clean your house. Na by force?

point of correction u don't dump people, they ain't trash.

SENATOR JD:

point of correction u don't dump people, they ain't trash.

it is not only trash people dump

people dump shit too!!!

Wokeyim:

@ Poster
I find your inability to cook & clean my house extraordinarily unappealing
Then get your mother or younger sister to cook and clean your house. Na by force?

can tell, u cant cook. no wahala, fast food joint dey gberekete

Gamine:

Whats funny?

There's nothn civilized about dumping anybody.

you are right

no comment

put her in the back of your truck and dump her on a gabage pile. That should work

I go die ooo. rotflmao.

Maury Pauvich is looking for you to join his Team of producers.

Shouldn't this be in the joke section?

So you called this your write up civilized?

just dump her when you thru with her and send her away,Bleep civilized way

Cayon:

put her in the back of your truck and dump her on a gabage pile. That should work

hahahahhahhahhaha

The best way to dump a girl:

try to shag her in front of ur friends or in public.

Trust me, you aint seen Carl Lewis run that fast.

nice one man,i feel ya

[Check all those that apply] ___ Your stomach is bigger than mine.

Didn't you see that earlier?

___ Your name is objectionable subjecting my future children to it could scar and yes, scare them for life.

Same question?

___ Your inadvertent admission that you "buy shoes by the truckload" indicates that you may be interested in me for something other than my personality.

It means I am classy!

___ You failed the 20 Question Rule, i.e., I asked you 20 questions about yourself before you asked me one.

Obviously I wasn't interested in knowing you.

___ Your "Putting on a few, aren't you big boy?" comment, given the 9 months pregnant size of your beer gut, was inappropriate.

It adds to my curves. That's why I always want you to look at me from the side. Figure 8 baby!

___ You failed the faithful check.

I didn't know we were already dating. Well then you failed the sense check. Didn't you see my tummy or heard my name before toasting me?

___ I find your inability to cook & clean my house extraordinarily unappealing.

Sorry, I didn't know I was applying for a job as your housegirl.

___ The fact that you live with your Mother reveals an inherent psychological syndrome that I fear is unbreakable.

Darling, I am just 19.

___ The phrase "My Mother" has popped up far too often in conversation.

I needed someone to confide in. You can't imagine what my mother has done to me. Oops! I said it again.

___ You mention your ex-boyfriends name more than you mention mine.

That's because I have forgotten yours. Do you mind---no? Never mind.

___ Three words: looks do matter.

I know. In fact I am still wondering what came over me!

I am trying to decide which is funnier the OP or the comeback posted by michelin89, lol