baby_123:

You are very right. Women have failed in Nigeria when it comes to their boy children. For real. From choosing retards to be their husbands or baby fathers. And then teaching their men it is okay to be aggressive towards women. It starts from beating their siblings and onward. They equal respect with beating someone whom they feel is lower than them or a subordinate.

Preach it!

Infact, woman are 70% to blame for abusive men

Chomzy19: oh I see u, u turn every single post to try n make dis wat u thought it originally was 'a battle of d sexes' somehw all ur post must come down to it is finally d fault of women, When reasoning human beings finally point out to u dt it is usualyy abusive fathers that cr8t abusive sons(wch is d truth, u can read up abt d psychology of abusive men on d net) what u now say is 'human beings are meant to process things, anybody who is acting out of what his father did to his mother some yrs ago hs nt left childhood'.... Now tell me wen u were advocating that it is abusive mothers that raise abusive son did u ever think of it frm dis ur current POV that they are meant to hv outgrown it n process things better nw that they are grown up, in wch case d responsiblity for d action of d abuser falls solely on d abuser n not any parent? Oh No, u didnt but as soon as smone mentions dt it is d fault of abusive fathers u remember that human beings re meant to process things as they mature...

U know it is always good to call a spade a spade n not a long spoon or sth dt resembles a Spatula

That's the Nigerian guide to 'problem solving' right there. Ignore the true cause - deny responsibility - shift the blame - issue remains unresolved - the cycle continues - mission accomplished.

crackhaus:
I kinda like this, except that I still believe we can't quantify or qualify the reasons that would make a man become an abuser.
Okay here's another perspective to the issue of abuse;
Do you know that apart from physical abuse which is meant to inflict physical pain, there is such a thing as emotional abuse?
Like I said before, men who raise their hands on their women have more of an emotional undertone than just being brought up by a father who abused their mom or mother figure. This emotional undertone is seated along the lines of insecurity, self-esteem and a bruised ego.
In my opinion, no adult (male or female) should excuse a negative behaviour based on what they witnessed as kids.

Do you think a court of law would convict or acquit this man based on his story of how his papa beat his mama? Absolutely not!
What they would try to deliberate on would be his present state of mind as at when he beat his wife to death (Cause and Effect).
What fired him up? What got on his nerves?
Answers to these questions would almost always hedge on the man's insecurity, ego and self-esteem, which he would still serve jail time for because grown men/women should be able to show restraint on their reactions to percieved threats.

Don't get me wrong because I'm not trying to fault any gender here, but like I said before now, a woman should be able to tell when a man may become abusive and never marry him, at least not in Nigeria where family/civil laws have little or no clout in the constitution.

Wow! Much respect sir!! Very well said!

chineloSA:
I cannot fully blame the woman. Alot of woman stay in abusive marriages because of financial dependence. Which sometimes they bring upon themselves ( by allowing to stay at home because a man suggests so), laziness or because of unemployment situation.

Name a financially independent person who tolerates any kind of abuse.

Give all woman Economic Power and Freedom, things will turn around.

Sad for her though

YOU CANT CHANGE THE BALANCE OF NATURE.

#WINNER TAKES EARTH

lorretta u: If I had a deep seated hatred for men like you so wisely know,my thread would probably be titled "why are nigerian men this wicked" I rather find it very upsetting that some women feel this is an OK part of marriage.hence my thread.
But you have to make it look like I created this thread to bash men
Begone with your pathetic attempts at making this a battle of the sexes thread.take it somewhere else.

i'm not battling any sex.and you created the thread to bash men.maybe out of your own deep subconscious resentment towards men.looks like you had an abusive experience yourself.there are thousand cases of different forms of domestic abuse from women in marriages or even in relationships.but they never get attention cause they are women right.the emphasis on husbands who physicaly abuse there wives as the only form of domestic abuse is so feminist.the focus on men as beasts is selfish and wicked.maybe its about time we take up cases on abuse of men too

Tell them
Tell them.

crackhaus:
I kinda like this, except that I still believe we can't quantify or qualify the reasons that would make a man become an abuser.
Okay here's another perspective to the issue of abuse;
Do you know that apart from physical abuse which is meant to inflict physical pain, there is such a thing as emotional abuse?
Like I said before, men who raise their hands on their women have more of an emotional undertone than just being brought up by a father who abused their mom or mother figure. This emotional undertone is seated along the lines of insecurity, self-esteem and a bruised ego.
In my opinion, no adult (male or female) should excuse a negative behaviour based on what they witnessed as kids.

Do you think a court of law would convict or acquit this man based on his story of how his papa beat his mama? Absolutely not!
What they would try to deliberate on would be his present state of mind as at when he beat his wife to death (Cause and Effect).
What fired him up? What got on his nerves?
Answers to these questions would almost always hedge on the man's insecurity, ego and self-esteem, which he would still serve jail time for because grown men/women should be able to show restraint on their reactions to percieved threats.

Don't get me wrong because I'm not trying to fault any gender here, but like I said before now, a woman should be able to tell when a man may become abusive and never marry him, at least not in Nigeria where family/civil laws have little or no clout in the constitution.

Chillisauce: I just read in another website where someone's husband raped a girl living with them, the girl has been taking sleeping pills due to her job.

The girl moved out immediately before telling the woman what happened.
Now the woman never doubts the girl because her husband rapes her at times she is not in the mood of having s ex.

My dear, if my own husband forces me to have s ex, it is a deed for legal action not to even talk of beating me up.

You're busy here flexing muscle? Don't you know it's the woman's fault? Is she not a robot that must be ready for action at any time T? Also, it must be his mother's fault too, she must have abused him and told him he had a small d**k when he was a child, that's why he now goes about r*aping people.

yellowpawpaw: RIP to d dead.


Let us analyse this w'out sentiments.
Let's use these scenerio.
A. A woman who denies hubby lv making.
B. A nagging wife
C. A lazy wife
D. An extravagant wife.

My analysis will be based on these afforementioned traits.
When u hv women like these and they push u to the wall, what do society want u to do? They will push and push u to the wall. Remember its still d same women that one of them want to use her slave gal's kidney for her daughter.

Hv u guys seen a wife who stripped down the husband in public with her mouth?
A prof(late now) in my school was sent packing by her wife(dr) bc of her wickedness. He converted his office to bedroom and kitchen.A prof. When he died, that was when d news circulated in school. Meanwhile the wife is this holier than thou kind of woman. A born again for that matter.

U c, women r not usually d victim most time. Most domestic violence against women r caused indirectly or directly by them and still yet, they r always the first to shout abuse meanwhile they ve pushed the man sooo teee he did the undoable.
This is d simple truth.

I do not agree with you YPP at all!

There is absolutely no justification for physical abuse else you will be justifying abuse against househelps.

I am sure that those men will not slap a random man who 'offends' them on the street.

On second thoughts, do you mean the bolded is reason enough for a man to beat his wife?

DON'T JUSTIFY KILLING, MAIMING AND ABUSING OF WOMEN!

IF A MAN IS OFFENDED BY HIS WIFE, HE HAS THE LAST OPTION OF WALKING OUT

PLEASE LET'S NOT TEACH OUR KIDS THAT THERE IS A JUSTIFICATION OF ABUSE

lorretta u: Pls no body should try to give me reasons why a woman caused her own abuse. It's just inexcusable.
As for women maltreating their house helps, everybody condemns that.and there is serious fight in place to stop it.I wish that same fight will be in place to stop marital abuse.

As for mothers creating monsters. That really has me laughing. So men have no role to play in raising their kids? Really?
So they end up wife beaters and it's the mother's fault?
How about thinking they learned it from their brute fathers?
What exactly is the role of men in the family?
I'm really curious to know. (Cos I used to think great fathers raised greater sons) Or are they only sperm donors and money providers( which most of them aren't even doing anyway.)
They don't have parental and guidance roles to play? (I don't wanna think that)
Someone pls educate me

Since everything is now the fault of the woman.

Dear do you know why I place most blame on them?

Most times, it is the woman that spoils a son!

It is a woman that marries an abusive man

It is a woman that thinks it's ok to abuse a fellow woman when she 'offends'

it is well

crackhaus:
I kinda like this, except that I still believe we can't quantify or qualify the reasons that would make a man become an abuser.
Okay here's another perspective to the issue of abuse;
Do you know that apart from physical abuse which is meant to inflict physical pain, there is such a thing as emotional abuse?
Like I said before, men who raise their hands on their women have more of an emotional undertone than just being brought up by a father who abused their mom or mother figure. This emotional undertone is seated along the lines of insecurity, self-esteem and a bruised ego.
In my opinion, no adult (male or female) should excuse a negative behaviour based on what they witnessed as kids.

Do you think a court of law would convict or acquit this man based on his story of how his papa beat his mama? Absolutely not!
What they would try to deliberate on would be his present state of mind as at when he beat his wife to death (Cause and Effect).
What fired him up? What got on his nerves?
Answers to these questions would almost always hedge on the man's insecurity, ego and self-esteem, which he would still serve jail time for because grown men/women should be able to show restraint on their reactions to percieved threats.

Don't get me wrong because I'm not trying to fault any gender here, but like I said before now, a woman should be able to tell when a man may become abusive and never marry him, at least not in Nigeria where family/civil laws have little or no clout in the constitution.

and a secured child with a healthy self exteem is not the product of good parenting? A child who grows up heavily insecured simply turnd out that bad?whats your point.of course society dnt give a fvck about your history.the least of all nigeria where we are yet a century away from the study of the human psycology as regards to whatever form of violence.where our "civil laws have little or no clout".yea where licenses should be issued to people who are only prepared to be parents. And yea you are damn right a man should tell when a woman is going to be abusive and never marry her.we have abusive women who are also products of poor homes murdering there maids, emotionally,psycologicaly and even physically assault there husbands.i wish you also mentioned that too.you are getting a few likes from the ladies now but i hope you notice the double standard and bias in your last sentence.

bukatyne:

Preach it!

Infact, woman are 70% to blame for abusive men

Yes oo 100% infact nt 70%:

U see since d days of Adam d Woman has always been responsible for d Actions of men; no b today tinz na

it actually gives me joy to see dt Men hs assigned to Women d roles of gods in their Lives who dtermine dia fates. D rapi.st is a Rapi.st for Live because a pretty girl down d street dressd too revealing... D thief is a thief because his greedy wife wants more money n pushed him to it.... D abuser bcame an abuser because his wife has a foul tongue or because his mother didnt just train him well, d list Goes on and will forever do afterall dia ancestor Adam disobeyd God because a woman lured him to it.

Dis Woman ws murdered because she choose her path, she refusd to run, she choose to solely depend on her husband dts wat most women who hv commented so far say, but D man is a murderer because his wife jst cldnt check her tongue or d mother abusd d guy

d power of d woman is truly Amazing no wonder shaggy wondered if God is a woman

deejay_harry1: YOU CANT CHANGE THE BALANCE OF NATURE.

#WINNER TAKES EARTH

See woman abuser

The architect of our society is human beings, so it can be changed. Only if the society is willing to change

Battle of the sexes.

If the females keep accusing and playing the victim, it won't solve the problem, females need to take responsibility for their welfare, a woman who stays with a man who physically abuses her, has no body to blame but herself.

A man who abuses a woman have nobody to blame but himself, if the woman nags and emotionally abuses him, he should leave and not justify physically abusing her

A man/woman who grew up seeing one of his parents abusing him, it either makes or mar him. It's either he/she becomes a very good spouse or an abuser.

Chomzy19: Yes oo 100% infact nt 70%:

U see since d days of Adam d Woman has always been responsible for d Actions of men; no b today tinz na

it actually gives me joy to see dt Men hs assigned to Womend roles of gods in their Lives who dtermine dia fates. D rapist is a Rapist for Live because a pretty girk down d street dressd too revealingly... D thief is a thief because his greedy wife wants more money n pushed him to it.... D abuser bcame an abuser because his wife has a foul tongue or because his mother didnt just train him well, d list Goes on and will forever do afterall dia ancestor Adam disobeyd God because a woman lured him to it.

Dis Woman ws murdered because she choose her path, she refusd to run, she choose to solely depend on her husband dts wat most women who hv commented so far say but D man is a murderer because his wife jst cldnt check her tongue or d mother abusd d guy

d power of d woman is truly Amazing no wonder shaggy wondered if God is a woman

I know you are been sarcastic

I explained what I meant.

Everyone is responsible for their actions but blaming the man alone is just curing the symptoms. We need to go to the root cause of the plague:

WHY IS THE MAN OR ANY MAN ABUSIVE?

bukatyne:

Dear do you know why I place most blame on them?

Most times, it is the woman that spoils a son!

It is a woman that marries an abusive man

It is a woman that thinks it's ok to abuse a fellow woman when she 'offends'

it is well

@Buky,
U don't hv to agree with me.
I don't support abusive relationship either but let us come down and take this from the roots.
The examples I gave r cases that normally lead to abuse. Have u done counselling b4? I have and these and many more r what push men to behave like beasts. Emotional abuse is d worst form of abuse and majority of d men folk r the victims of such.
Its only when a man beats a woman that we will start shouting and screaming. I ve equally seen a woman who pounds her husband everytime like fufu.

Now to my examples.
1. Women who starves men of intimacy.
When I was a kid, my mum's friend's hubby used to pound her. Sometimes she will come and hid in our house. Whenever I ask my mum she will tell me I wouldn't understand. Fastforward to adult. Thing went from bad to worst in that family. My mummy later told me the wife said she don't like her hubby's diick. So that's d genesis of her saying no.
My question is, why didn't she walk away instead of starving d man like that?
Something like this has chain reaction.
Yet that woman can easily go out and satisfy herself. The hubby wasn't a violent man but was forced to start beating her when he noticed she can do it outside. He stopd beating her as time goes on and let her be. He too started going outside to satisfy himself but this same wifey won't let him and whomever he is having affair with be.
And guess what, she does it with his juniors. Later had a love child.

I just gave u an instance of what women can do. That man is late now. Its even better for him than to be married to such a wicked and wayward woman. U need to c this man, the wife finished him. One day, I met d youngest daughter beating him up. He can't c w'out his glasses and this gal smashed his glasses. The man was falling as he was trying to navigate his way around.What caused it? Cos he admonished her. Like mother like daughter, that's what we call her. Pple passing cursed and cursed her.I don't know when I pounced on d gal. A very sorry sight to behold. The mum was there hailing her!
I just can't go on. Most men do suffer. Accept or reject it but its the naked truth. I can't bc I'm a woman turn d truth upside down. Let's stop seeing it from d women's perspective only and who said that women r d weaker sex?

My dear, abuse is very bad, be it male or female but society forbids a man to voice out else he is targed a weakling!

While we are at it, the thread 'How to control and maintain a woman' is gaining more followers

I created this thread to blame women also
But not for the reasons some posters are blaming them
I blame them for staying married to abuser,for hiding the abuse and for tolerating abuse in the name of 'till death do us part"
I have no blame for women when the men decide to become abusers.
Trying to make it look like it's the women's fault that an adult man decides to sink that low is highly uncalled for.
See I blame no one for the actions of a grown man. Even if his father was an abuser,he has the free will to choose otherwise.
Even if his mother was an abuser he has the same free will to choose otherwise.
I just don't understand some people who can't accept something is a certain way and condemn it the way it is. Without trying to apportion blame for their actions on someone else.
They try to blame the parents,the society and their victims for their own actions.
Children from bad homes have grown into responsible adults.
Also children from good homes have grown into horrible adults. So your father was an armed robber so you have to turn into one? Your mother was a prostitute you become one too?
Even after growing up and realizing it is wrong.

That's is why it is called free will.
Conscience.
That's what seperates us from the lower animals.

bukatyne:

Dear do you know why I place most blame on them?

Most times, it is the woman that spoils a son!

It is a woman that marries an abusive man

It is a woman that thinks it's ok to abuse a fellow woman when she 'offends'

it is well

yellowpawpaw: @Buky,
U don't hv to agree with me.
I don't support abusive relationship either but let us come down and take this from the roots.
The examples I gave r cases that normally lead to abuse. Have u done counselling b4? I have and these and many more r what push men to behave like beasts. Emotional abuse is d worst form of abuse and majority of d men folk r the victims of such.
Its only when a man beats a woman that we will start shouting and screaming. I ve equally seen a woman who pounds her husband everytime like fufu.

Now to my examples.
1. Women who starves men of intimacy.
When I was a kid, my mum's friend's hubby used to pound her. Sometimes she will come and hid in our house. Whenever I ask my mum she will tell me I wouldn't understand. Fastforward to adult. Thing went from bad to worst in that family. My mummy later told me the wife said she don't like her hubby's diick. So that's d genesis of her saying no.
My question is, why didn't she walk away instead of starving d man like that?
Something like this has chain reaction.
Yet that woman can easily go out and satisfy herself. The hubby wasn't a violent man but was forced to start beating her when he noticed she can do it outside. He stopd beating her as time goes on and let her be. He too started going outside to satisfy himself but this same wifey won't let him and whomever he is having affair with be.
And guess what, she does it with his juniors. Later had a love child.

I just gave u an instance of what women can do. That man is late now. Its even better for him than to be married to such a wicked and wayward woman. U need to c this man, the wife finished him. One day, I met d youngest daughter beating him up. He can't c w'out his glasses and this gal smashed his glasses. The man was falling as he was trying to navigate his way around.What caused it? Cos he admonished her. Like mother like daughter, that's what we call her. Pple passing cursed and cursed her.I don't know when I pounced on d gal. A very sorry sight to behold. The mum was there hailing her!
I just can't go on. Most men do suffer. Accept or reject it but its the naked truth. I can't bc I'm a woman turn d truth upside down. Let's stop seeing it from d women's perspective only and who said that women r d weaker sex?

My dear, abuse is very bad, be it male or female but society forbids a man to voice out else he is targed a weakling!

I do not believe anyone is supporting abuse but everyone should take a walk when can't stand it!

If the man couldn't cope with an adulterous wife, why didn't he divorce her?

Will this same man beat his boss for denying him promotion?

lorretta u: If I had a deep seated hatred for men like you so wisely know,my thread would probably be titled "why are nigerian men this wicked" I rather find it very upsetting that some women feel this is an OK part of marriage.hence my thread.
But you have to make it look like I created this thread to bash men
Begone with your pathetic attempts at making this a battle of the sexes thread.take it somewhere else.

No amount of Argument will make a partially blind man see white as just white and nt milk, yes there are material evidence dt d colour white is white n milk is milk, But to d partially blind white and milk are really one n d same colour.

The truth is u cant actually blame d partially blind

Well based on reading this thread, I'm hoping justice will be served in this case and this man be set free while his mother gets thrown in jail. As it is, his wife has already received her own justice for her role in the saga.

lorretta u: I created this thread to blame women also
But not for the reasons some posters are blaming them
I blame them for staying married to abuser,for hiding the abuse and for tolerating abuse in the name of 'till death do us part"
I have no blame for women when the men decide to become abusers.
Trying to make it look like it's the women's fault that an adult man decides to sink that low is highly uncalled for.
See I blame no one for the actions of a grown man. Even if his father was an abuser,he has the free will to choose otherwise.
Even if his mother was an abuser he has the same free will to choose otherwise.
I just don't understand some people who can't accept something is a certain way and condemn it the way it is. Without trying to apportion blame for their actions on someone else.
They try to blame the parents,the society and their victims for their own actions.
Children from bad homes have grown into responsible adults.
Also children from good homes have grown into horrible adults. So your father was an armed robber so you have to turn into one? Your mother was a prostitute you become one too?
Even after growing up and realizing it is wrong.

That's is why it is called free will.
Conscience.
That's what seperates us from the lower animals.

True however there is the power of influence and nurture.

It is only when the child realizes it's bad that he/she will decide to change in the first place.

That is why I detest strongly the demonic advice of 'stay for the kids!'

kai, the woman's life is ruined and she wants to ruin the lives of the children too

I have a problem with the word 'control'

bukatyne: While we are at it, the thread 'How to control and maintain a woman' is gaining more followers

Another thing I wanna add is this.
If majority of our women r up and doing, d so called abuse from men will reduce drastically.
Most women don't make us of their brain, rather they use their hearts.
Traits abound most times but we look d other way cos we r very comfy and don't wanna lose d guy.
Maybe he is loaded.
Most of us r suffering and smiling in our Lagos banana island yet they don't wanna take the required action.
Abeg make I leave woman matter. Our wahala too much and we will never learn.

Lmao lmao
I guess that's the sensible thing to do.

ileobatojo: Well based on reading this thread, I'm hoping justice will be served in this case and this man be set free while his mother gets thrown in jail. As it it, his wife has already received her own justice for her role in the saga.

lorretta u: I have a problem with the word 'control'

Have you read the thread?

You will weep for the women that will make mistake to hook up with those men!

yellowpawpaw: Another thing I wanna add is this.
If majority of our women r up and doing, d so called abuse from men will reduce drastically.
Most women don't make us of their brain, rather they use their hearts.
Traits abound most times but we look d other way cos we r very comfy and don't wanna lose d guy.
Maybe he is loaded.
Most of us r suffering and smiling in our Lagos banana island yet they don't wanna take the required action

now you're making sense.

YPP, so if all these symptoms you listed are exhibited by the so called Nigerian house help, it's ok for the women to abuse them .

As per walking away instead starving someone of s ex. No matter the person, even your husband...if you are not ready, you are not ready...anything outside of that is rap e.

On my!

I haven't dear
With this I may not read it. Cos I wouldn't wanna e-slap someone (just kidding)
But for real?
Lol. Na wa o

bukatyne:

Have you read the thread?

You will weep for the women that will make mistake to hook up with those men!

We can stay on d net going back and forth about abuse meanwhile d real koko is happening out there. Anybody wanna stop or help abusive pple, pls go to the field.
Preach it there. Join ngo. U r in church, join evangelism cos it will give access to pple direct and preach it outta there.

ileobatojo:

You're busy here flexing muscle? Don't you know it's the woman's fault? Is she not a robot that must be ready for action at any time T? Also, it must be his mother's fault too, she must have abused him and told him he had a small d**k when he was a child, that's why he now goes about r*aping people.

My dear, no be small muscle oh .

I need a break from this website. Before I start thinking that I'm not normal

ileobatojo: Well based on reading this thread, I'm hoping justice will be served in this case and this man be set free while his mother gets thrown in jail. As it it, his wife has already received her own justice for her role in the saga.

I support dis motion 100%

Nwanne m
Ihe nke a

Chomzy19: No amount of Argument will make a partially blind man see white as just white and nt milk, yes there are material evidence dt d colour white is white n milk is milk, But to d partially blind white and milk are really one n d same colour.

The truth is u cant actually blame d partially blind