my
mother inlaw is being possessive of my child.now for her to even allow me
breastfeed d child so d sucking wud stimulate d breastmilk to come out
is a problem,she kips telling me to let d child rest,so she startd givin
d child water,my baby was going almost 2days old feedin on only
water.now shes saying shes taking d child to lafia where she stays.i
think dats probably d reason she doesnt want me to breast feed d child
so she doesnt get used to breastmilk or somtin.The family is a nice
family n i really dnt want any trouble wit my stepmum,wat can i do?
she actually said i sudnt buy more clothes n showel for d baby dat d
ones her children used r still available,(over 30yrs)she wore my baby
pampers bt put tissue inside first so d pampers wudnt get soiled
quick,she has refused using baby oil on my babys head n her head kips
getting dry

Your mum in law is a spiritist..

The violent shall prevail by force

ish

I don't get it . . . why will your MIL take your infant child away from you?

Where is your husband in all this

Pls your step mum or mother inlaw? did you feel the pain during the baby's birth? if no let posses your possession and if yes let her posses ur baby
My dear shine your eyes..

my husband sees it my way bt cant question his mum,he has to explain to her about d feeding before she reluntantly said breastfeed d baby o.even at dat d next mrn before i finish cleanin up d kitchen she ws alredi giving d child dat.abeg na wat can i do?

Jesu!
Is this a traditional thing because I cant understand why your MIL will take your baby away without your say so.

shes actually a nice person jus dat their family is a very humble one,n d sufferin in bringing up my husband n his siblings,she has dis poverty mentality,she probably wants d stress off her child my husband dats y d lafia tin which am still insistin am nt going,it hous has a general public pit n am stitched out of delivery wit d fact dat d hos aint convinient,bt if i mention all dis to my husband he might get angry

even to wen i ws 9month preg i had to kip workin to support my family so dey dnt get to think its dis wife dat is eating thier sons moni.imagine me been 8 mnths preg n d mum ws sayin i com to thier hous dats abj to lafia.
av given birth n i still do virtually everytin in d house so my house can b tidy as wellwishers enter,i had to enter d kitchen to cook ogbono cos nothin ws available n she said my soup no sweet,afta jus 24hrs of delivery wit stitches

I can't make heads or tails of this post.

@OP, kindly summarize the gist of your grievance in simple English pls.

its my mil nt stepmum,ws a mistake.my main concern is i av to breastfeed my baby so she can add weight cos she came before tim bt mil is bin overly possessive.as a mother shes suppose to tell me wat to do so d milk can flow bt she has said nothin to dis minute,its friends tellin me wat to do.wat can i do in such a situation?i lov my husband n dnt want him thinkin on dis issue or see me bin disrespectful to his mum

I give up - @OP, goodluck.

ASUU dey do una strong thing...

@kpdc85,

You need to take charge! You are the mother of your child! The one who carried the child for 9months and went through all that labour pain just to have the baby! Why on earth will you be sitting passively and someone else (by the name of MIL) playing mother over your baby. Mind you, I am not against MIL's assisting in child care however, you have a bigger role to play. Please when you wake up in the morning breastfeed your baby and make sure he or she is comfortable before handing over to your MIL for carrying or whatever reason.

I was in a similar situation to yours. When I was pregnant initially I wasn't working and my MIL insisted I come over to Osogbo (we live in Lagos) to have the kid. The worse part is my hubby supported her 100% and I was left alone to fight the battle all by myself and with God on my side. I won anyway. I had my baby and only went there for omugo for a few weeks and later returned after another warfare because the truth is that they never actually wanted me to return. I was the one doing all the house chores and even going to market and cooking o!

So please a word is enough for the wise. If anyone wants to assist you, let them assist you in your own house and please, please and please, you are the mother to your child you need to be strong (despite your stitches) and prove to them that you are okay and will surely be fine staying at home and taking care of your family.

what is ur MIL's mission in ur house and ur marriage?
I cant believe a mother dat just put to bed is talking ds rubbish
When it is not that u aint lactating, why wil she be giving a 2day old baby water and also stop you from brea3tfeeding ur baby?
Remember that baby needs to be fed so that his immune will be strong and also to avoid underweight.
I dnt pray for anythg bad for ur bad but God forbid if anythg shld happen, u will hate ursef for the rest of ur life
U shld stand on ur feet since u r working dat u aint going anywhere abeg. If she suffered on her children dat shld affect her grandchild.
I wonder the way pple still reason ds days including ur husband

Your 2 day old baby that is being breastfed and you the mother are here on NL asking if it is right for someone to take the baby away from you??

Take the baby to where? For what? That what happened?

Are you really the mother?

80% of the nigerian people have no clue what marriage is about & about 85% shouldn't be allowed to make children.

your 2-day old baby is being denied brëastmilk right before you & you are there asking what you should do? in 2013?

if you were in my country, i would have called social services on you people to have y'all jailed & take the innocent child from you before you use the child for rituals.

Tell MIL to get her head checked. Please, i dont think your MIL is mentally okay. You can be a nice DIL but still let people know that you can handle situations on your own. Where is your mother? This is your child you are starving and putting at risk with tissue paper and all sorts for Gods sake. Your child comes first before any body opinion. Grab that child now, and breast feed it till it falls asleep. When it wakes up keep breastfeeding to make up for the two days. Dont let your child out of your sight till he/she can talk at least. Go and breastfeed your child now. Buy your own babies clothes, wash, buy its pampers and do it all for your baby. Tell your MIl not to worry, you can handle it financially and physically. She should be the one resting. I cant believe this. Is this a true story?

What is wrong with you ? ? ? How can your MIL take your child from you,did you actually birthed this baby that you are too weak to defend.whatever it takes to keep your child do it,gosh!!!some women are just too helpless and weak for my liking

it sounds unbelievable bt its d fact,there r even oda little tins i didnt say.lik dis nite afta bathin d child i insisted she gives me d child to breastfeed,bt kept sayinn no dat d child sud drink glucose water first,of which anytim my baby drinks d water first she wnt suck properly,shes still learin to suck bt my mil say its water first,she even called me a lecturer cos i ws insisting

Can your mother also come around to take care of your baby?

This is strange but i've seen stranger things on nairaland. So, op, ur baby, ur ways! This ain't 1920 for God's sakes. Don't let anybody harm ur baby with their 1920 mentality, abeg!

This woman grab your baby and say no to this madness ! ! ! ! what's wrong with you?

Tell her you appreciate her concern and advice. But this is your baby. Your baby needs you and she needs food. So you are feeding her. Grab your baby, enter a room and lock the door. This woman wants to kill your baby, you are there looking like a mumu. The look on my face alone will shut the woman up. Stop being a mumu abeg. I tire!

yes alutacontinua u got it rite,its all more of a 1920 mentality.my own mum is late,all dis wudnt av bin happenin if she were around.n am d first female.
my baby is still very tender n shes my first,dnt knw hw to handle a new born to bath,dats d only area am havin issue wit handling my baby myself,my breast milk is nt flowin yet bt shes nt advicin on wat to do rather she gives her water

kpdc85: my
mother inlaw is being possessive of my child.now for her to even allow me
breastfeed d child so d sucking wud stimulate d breastmilk to come out
is a problem,she kips telling me to let d child rest,so she startd givin
d child water,my baby was going almost 2days old feedin on only
water.now shes saying shes taking d child to lafia where she stays.i
think dats probably d reason she doesnt want me to breast feed d child
so she doesnt get used to breastmilk or somtin.The family is a nice
family n i really dnt want any trouble wit my stepmum,wat can i do?
she actually said i sudnt buy more clothes n showel for d baby dat d
ones her children used r still available,(over 30yrs)she wore my baby
pampers bt put tissue inside first so d pampers wudnt get soiled
quick,she has refused using baby oil on my babys head n her head kips
getting dry

Madam, your mother in law might be slowly killing your baby. Giving too much water is extremely dangerous to a baby because their kidneys are significantly immature and cannot deal with all the water. It will cause the salt in the body to be low which can lead to brain swelling, seizures, coma and death. A baby should be having mostly breastmilk or properly constituted formula not water or sugar water. Please wake up and save your baby before it is too late.

Water Intoxication
One of the dangers of a baby taking in too much water is water intoxication. This occurs when water offsets the fluid and electrolyte balance inside the body. An excessive amount of water can cause the kidneys to filter out too much sodium. Inadequate amounts of sodium and too much water can lead to brain swelling and other dangerous symptoms.

Symptoms and Prevention
Symptoms of water intoxication are apparent and include seizures, irritability, drowsiness, falling body temperature and swelling or puffiness. According to the Johns Hopkins Children's Center, babies younger than 1 and those who are already dehydrated are at greatest risk for water intoxication. In an effort to rehydrate their infants after a bout of vomiting or diarrhea, parents often give their infants water. However, a dehydrated infant is also usually lacking in electrolytes as well. Feeding him straight water depletes this balance even further. The best way to avoid water intoxication and keep your infant hydrated is to use breast milk or formula until your pediatrician advises you otherwise.

http://www.livestrong.com/article/488698-the-dangers-of-a-baby-drinking-too-much-water/

kpdc85: yes alutacontinua u got it rite,its all more of a 1920 mentality.my own mum is late,all dis wudnt av bin happenin if she were around.n am d first female.
my baby is still very tender n shes my first,dnt knw hw to handle a new born to bath,dats d only area am havin issue wit handling my baby myself,my breast milk is nt flowin yet bt shes nt advicin on wat to do rather she gives her water

If your breast milk is not flowing, please buy formula, read the instructions, mix it properly not overdiluting it and feed the baby in addition to breast feeding. So after breastfeeding, you can give some formula to make her full. If your baby is being fed water BEFORE you breastfeed, your breast milk will never flow, sorry. It is the act of a baby suckling properly and frequently at the breast that makes the body produce breastmilk. Baby's belly full of water means a belly that cannot take more milk therefore no need to suck, therefore no breastmilk production for you.

Once again, wake up!

kpdc85: yes alutacontinua u got it rite,its all more of a 1920 mentality.my own mum is late,all dis wudnt av bin happenin if she were around.n am d first female.
my baby is still very tender n shes my first,dnt knw hw to handle a new born to bath,dats d only area am havin issue wit handling my baby myself,my breast milk is nt flowin yet bt shes nt advicin on wat to do rather she gives her water

Contrary to what most posters are advocating for here, i don't think you should go the rough way yet. I get it, dey all are mothers and are pissed but this is your mother-in-law we're talking about, i'll say approach dis with wisdom first.

Firstly, which side is your husband on?
Secondly, can you get her to leave your house in a nice way? Say tell her you'll get someone to come over and help, your aunty maybe or your own family or a 2013-model elderly person around.
Or another option is to take her with you to see your doctor/pediatrician and have your doctor explain how tinz work in this day and age to both of you, you gotta do that nicely too.

I don't think your MIL means bad for ur baby, she just doesn't know how to go abt tinz, in this day and age. A lil wisdom wld put her through. Might be a whole lot difficult if she thinks 'i took care of how many children before, what makes you think you know better'

GOOD LUCK!

I hear the mother drinking small palmy or akamu helps breast milk to flow. My dear, put the child on your breast. Maybe that is what is needed. Since this woman is refusing you from even putting her on your breast. Kai. Is that not part of bonding

She shld let the baby latch on the breast more frequently. It's actually the sucking that triggers for the release of the hormone that controls milk let-down. Feeding him with water wldn't move that ministry forward as ileoba pointed out.

Shine your eyes and wake up. This is your baby, you are a parent now no matter how young or inexperienced. Some people take care of new borns on their own. Just carry her gently and bath her. With time you will learn and get brave with handling her. The ultimate decision of what happens to your baby lies with you. You are her mother, so make that decision to feed her. And be very firm with it. shior! ia m vexing abeg. I cant believe this.

women are the biggest threat to womanhood - how can a mother feed her grandchild with water & dictate to her daughter-in-law in their matrimonial home?

this is the sickest thing i have read all my life.

I doubt you carried that baby in your stomach for 9 whole months. If you did, you would know what to do. Enough Said!

And please dont let that baby out of your sight around her, in light of all these. Even when going to the toilet. Carry your baby and place her where you can see her.

You are right ile Naija people ways of dealing with new born is way out of this world. Wait mama is feeding her yam porridge, nzu, kernel oil, palm oil and yam/cocoyam?
The only food your 2days old baby should be eating is breas.tmilk.
I think I heard no water for the first 6-9months.
The violent take it by force at least mentally. You can't bath your baby? Oyinbos have made it easier on today's women. You don't need to lappy your new born to bath them like our parents and grandies did now.
There are baby bath tub in the market where you can seat your little one and wash her.

ileobatojo:

Madam, your mother in law might be slowly killing your baby. Giving too much water is extremely dangerous to a baby because their kidneys are significantly immature and cannot deal with all the water. It will cause the salt in the body to be low which can lead to brain swelling, seizures, coma and death. A baby should be having mostly breastmilk or properly constituted formula not water or sugar water. Please wake up and save your baby before it is too late.