TOLU FUN TIME!!!
Trouble is:-
--Wen D person interviewing
U @ ur new job is D same guy
u insulted in traffic.
U go apologize tire
--Wen U tel Ur friend ''Ur
Mama'' & turn around & see
his/her mum staring @ U.
Meeehn ,she go show u say u
no nid cuttlery 2 chop slap.
--Wen u'r up against Lionel
Messi in ur debut game as a
Defender.
E go beta say u collect red
card
--Wen mosquito lands on ur
fada's bald head& u try 2 kill
it wit ur bare hands.
U must provide d proof ooh
or else.
-- Wen Patience is ur English
teacher b4 Waec.
Na A1 u dey DREAM about u
go get no worry.
--Wen Victor Valdes wins
GoalKeeper of d yr.
Abeg eeeee
--Wen U update ''Salary
Thingz'' on FB & ur landlord
comments ''On Point''
U go travel go villa by force
--Wen u'r in a bus & U throw
away #500 Noteinstead of
gala wrapper.
Ol' boy e don red b dat.
--Wen ur dad works @ Nepa
& they take lite, then u shout
''God punish Nepa''......and
he's there wit u.
Na ur Mama go start 2 pay ur
Schl fees.
--Wen u finish eating in an
eatery & u find outur wallet
fell out in a taxi.
Start 2 prepare ur grammer.
--When Usain Bolt chases u
wit a cutlass.
Ol'boy just stop, beg am.
--Wen u giv beggar #1,000
note instead of#50.
Generosity go change Noni.
Add ur own join
ABEG COMMENT NAW U WAN KILL CAREER.

wen u they go evangelism with your pastor and all church members and one ASHEWO shout CUSTOMER LONG TIME

Wen u go mistake ur phone number 4 examination number 4 Waec na f9 b dato

TOLU QUESTION!!!
My name is TOLU, I used my
friend to set up my girlfriend to
see if she'll cheat on me. Now they
have sent me a wedding
IV......WHAT AM I?
A. Learner
B.God sent
C.Mumu.

An ugly woman walk in a store
with her two kids, yelling at them. SAKA, the store clerk pleasantly
said, "Good morning ma'am and
welcome.
Nice children. Are they twins?
The ugly woman stop yelling and
said, "Hell no, they are not. One is
9 yrs old & the other is 7 yrs old.
Why dah hell would you think
they are twins, are you blind, or
stupid?" TOLU replied, "I'm neither blind
nor stupid ma'am, I just can't
believe someone would sleep with
you twice!!"
ONE WORD TOLU

Guys wey dey always brag abt
their hustle.. You hustle reach
judas? Mehn that guy sold jesus...
Hustle of life...
PEEPS am new at dis section ur comments and likes wodb appreciated

Remember wen women dey chase
me den,. i dey form level then...
Baba God da igba pada o...
GO BE WARNED

Lol

Men, U made my nite wit ur jokes. Tanx & kip it up!

A girl posted on facebook
"ALL MEN ARE DOGS" and TOLU replied "WHICH BREED IS YOUR FATHER"
who is at fault pls

Biafra 91: Men, U made my nite wit ur jokes. Tanx & kip it up!

tanx bro

TOLU£N£:
Lol

name sake u go pay 4dat name...tanx anyways

TOLU£N£:
Lol

name sake u go pay 4dat name...tanx anyways

My girlfriend buy wig of 450k kon dey complain of headache.She no knw say na 2plots of land for mowe/ibafo she carry so.if u be her boyfriend you go allow am loose am

Tolu Screams into an Envelope
all because he wanted to send a
VOICE "MAIL"
one for Tolu

Girlz to Boyz
.
.
1980's : Love me, but don't touch
me.
.
.
1990's : Touch me, but don'tkiss
me.
.
.
2000's : Kiss me, but don't do
anything more.
.
.
2010's : Do anything, but don't tell
anyone.
.
.
Since 2013 : Do everything,
otherwise I will tell everyone that
you can't do anything...

A mortuary attendant was
receiving bodies when he
saw this body with the
name mike on it with the
longest dickey he has ever
seen he decided to cut it
off and go show his wife,
when he reached home he
called out his wife
"Sweetie come I wanna
show you something"
the wife came and on
spotting the dickey she
screamed "YOU MEAN MIKE
IS DEAD!!!!!!!?

There were three nuns and a mother
sperior. The mother sperior told the
three nuns that before they can
receive their saint names they had one
final test she told them to go and
commit one sin so that they would not
have urges to be bad.
Aftet the three nuns returned, the
mother superior asked "did you commit
your sins they all nodded their head.
the first two nuns were crying while
nun TOLU the last nun was gigling.
The mother superior asked them to
confess their sins one after the other.
The first nun started with tears in his
eyes "i was just rotten; i picked up
flowers from some one's garden the
mother superior said go drink the holy
water n u'll be alright nun TOLU was
dancing around in laughter .
the second nun said he stole candy
from a baby he was asked to drink the
holy water. now nun TOLU fell on the
floor hysterically laughing. The mother
superior was disusted by his act and

Ugly gurls gettin married evry
saturday,the pretty ones wil be buyin
ASO EBI looking glamorous in d
wedding pictures waiting for dangote
or jonathans son...

@Tolu,
really great jokes. U av me roflmao.
Keep it coming, man.

PrettySpicey: @Tolu,
really great jokes. U av me roflmao.
Keep it coming, man.

tanx dear

Here is the list of some funny
observations about Nigerian
Nollywood movies.
1. It's funny that a Ghost picks up
a call in Nollywood. How is it
actually possible?
2. Interesting to know: why
should a Ghost look "left and
right" before crossing the road?
3. Isn't it funny when two Ghost
to fall in love?
4. Why do Nollywood characters
always die or run mad
immediately after their
confessions?
5. How come a legendary Village
Movie, set in the 70′s, still find
Brazilian hair on Mercy Johnson?
6. Why must all hired assassins be
found in uncompleted or
abandoned buildings?
7. Can you imagine a complete
Yoruba movie without a visit to
the 'Baba'?
8. How can one explain that nine
times out of ten Olu Jacobs dies of
heart attack in Nollywood movies.
9. "15 years ago" , Ini Edo calls her
boyfriend using a Blackberry Bold
5.
10. When poor people come to
Lagos to struggle, they always
make it. Really?
11. Isn't it funny when Segun
Arinze acts as Ramsey Noah's
dad? 12. It's quite a strange thing
to hear from a blind woman: "I'm
happy to see you, my son".
Maybe you have something to
add?

TOLU and three of his University
student didn't write an exam
because they did not study. TOLU
then came up with a plan, got
themselves dirty using grease
then went to see the Dean.
"Sir we are sorry we couldn't
make it to then exam. We
attended a wedding and on our
way back the car broke down
thus we became so dirty as you
can see."
The Dean understood and gave
TOLU and his friend three days
to prepare.
After three days they went to the
Dean very ready for the exam
because they had studied. The
Dean put them in there separate
classes.
There were only four questions in
the exam paper:
1. Who and who got married? (25
mks)
2. Where was the reception held?
(25mks)
3. Where exactly did the car break
down? (25mks)
4. What type of car broke down?
(25mks)
Note: Your answers must be the
same. Good luck!
.

toluleke: There were three nuns and a mother
sperior. The mother sperior told the
three nuns that before they can
receive their saint names they had one
final test she told them to go and
commit one sin so that they would not
have urges to be bad.
Aftet the three nuns returned, the
mother superior asked "did you commit
your sins they all nodded their head.
the first two nuns were crying while
nun TOLU the last nun was gigling.
The mother superior asked them to
confess their sins one after the other.
The first nun started with tears in his
eyes "i was just rotten; i picked up
flowers from some one's garden the
mother superior said go drink the holy
water n u'll be alright nun TOLU was
dancing around in laughter .
the second nun said he stole candy
from a baby he was asked to drink the
holy water. now nun TOLU fell on the
floor hysterically laughing. The mother
superior was disusted by his act and

come guy no let me vex with u. complete this now now

Connoisseur:

come guy no let me vex with u. complete this now now

TOLU fell on the floor hysterically
laughing. The mother superior
was disusted by his act and
inquired, "what are you laughing
at?"
TOLU,trying to catch his breath
was bearly able to say this "I PEED
INTO THE HOLY WATER

THE DOCTOR
The Lagos State Medical Doctors
were on
Strike.
A senior Doc was in a hurry to
join his
colleague in the protest while in the
theatre on a patient, so he left
Dr. TOLU - his male assistant in
charge.
The senior doc came back &
asked, "How did u get on?"
Dr TOLU says,
"I had 3 Patients. The 1st had a
Headache
so I give her Paracetamol" "Good
man" says the Senior Doc. "The 2nd had
Indigestion, so I
gave her
Gaviscon."
"Well done." said the senior Doc.
"The 3rd was a Young gorgeous
woman who burst into d room, took off
all her clothes & lay downon the
table, spreads
her legs and shouts,
'Please, please help me, I haven't
seen a man in 5 years……...!'"
"Shiiit!!! What did you do?" asks
the senior
Doc. Dr TOLU replies,
"I gave her Eyedrops.

WHO FOOLISH PASS BTW SAKA,AKPORS AND TOLU..PLS COMMENTS AND CRITICS WOULD BE APPRECIATED.

toluleke: THE DOCTOR
The Lagos State Medical Doctors
were on
Strike.
A senior Doc was in a hurry to
join his
colleague in the protest while in the
theatre on a patient, so he left
Dr. TOLU - his male assistant in
charge.
The senior doc came back &
asked, "How did u get on?"
Dr TOLU says,
"I had 3 Patients. The 1st had a
Headache
so I give her Paracetamol" "Good
man" says the Senior Doc. "The 2nd had
Indigestion, so I
gave her
Gaviscon."
"Well done." said the senior Doc.
"The 3rd was a Young gorgeous
woman who burst into d room, took off
all her clothes & lay downon the
table, spreads
her legs and shouts,
'Please, please help me, I haven't
seen a man in 5 years……...!'"
"Shiiit!!! What did you do?" asks
the senior
Doc. Dr TOLU replies,
"I gave her Eyedrops.

Ha! Olodo

maishot:

Ha! Olodo

if na u wetin u go do

2 idiots standin at museum lookin at
an Egyptian mummy wit 1347BC
written below it. Joba:Wht does that
mean. TOLU:It must be her BB Pin

toluleke: 2 idiots standin at museum lookin at
an Egyptian mummy wit 1347BC
written below it. Joba:Wht does that
mean. TOLU:It must be her BB Pin

*faints*

*A guy takes a girl on a date. She
orders costly champagne, oysters,
lobsters, the most expensive food on
the menu. The guy asks: “Do you eat
like this at your mom’s place?” The
girl replies, “No, my mother doesn’t
plan to sleep with me after the meal.’