Hi
Does love really exist between children of A polygamous family? My family is a polygamous one and i must say the children behave like cats and dogs even though we pretend we love each other Once in awhile. Can there be unity among us if (God forbid) my Dad dies now?

Yes! It is possible to live with RESPECT, if not with love and harmony in a POLYGAMOUS HOME.
If the MULTIPLE-PARENT FAMILY STYLE PARTICIPANTS were CAPABLE OF LOVE BEFORE THEY HAD CHILDREN!
Polygamy or monogamy can MAR a loving spirit if it is A BITTER EXPERIENCE!
The children can ONLY get love if the parents ARE CAPABLE OF BEING LOVED AND LOVING IN RETURN!

If the children in your 'set-up' fight like cat and dogs, they learned from the parents!
YOUR SIBLINGS/STEP-SIBLINGS never had the right foundation of learning to live in love, peace and harmony!!!
THE LOVE PART IS SHEER PRETENSE!
That would not change even if YOUR LORD JESUS SHOWED UP AGAIN TO DIE FOR JUST YOUR FAMILY!!!!
It does not look like they are ready to live in peace as children. Children fight with each other in so-called monogamous families too!
The kind of fight makes a difference ONLY IF THEY LEARNED FROM THE PARENTS!
That would not change after your father dies! It only gets worse like the OJUKWU ROYAL FAMILY!!!!

Example:
On my father's side. . . . . My grand-father from EDO STATE NIGERIA had 30 kids++++ MAINLY BOYS!!!!
All the wives lived in ONE COMPOUND! THE ONLY PART OF NIGERIA HE DID NOT MARRY OR HAVE CHILDREN FROM IS EASTERN NIGERIA!!!! HALLELUJAH!!!! Some concubines ALSO HAD CHILDREN, but I COULD NEVER TELL THE DIFFERENCE GROWING UP!
I always looked forward to SPENDING the Christmas holidays in the village with ALL MY COUSINS and young UNCLES AND AUNTS!!! IT WAS FUN!!! Anytime we have reunions IT IS FUN, inside or outside NIGERIA!!!!

I NEVER KNEW WHAT WOMAN HAD WHAT CHILD. . . . Till I was waaaaaay in my teens! It was NEVER EVEN DISCUSSED!!!

On the other hand, my mother is from a STAUNCH, CATHOLIC MONOGAMOUS home WITH 9 SIBLINGS(5 girls and 4 boys) BORN TO A ONE-MAN ONE-WIFE, CATHOLIC-IGBOTIC, VILLAGE-PSEUDO-BIAFRAN-MINDED COUPLE from DELTA STATE, NIGERIA!!!! TUFIAAAAAAAKWA!!!!!! THEY FOUGHT ALL THE TIME, EVEN TILL TODAY!!! THEY PASSED THE SAME TRAITS TO THEIR CHILDREN TOO!!! Anytime they get together, THEY GOSSIP ABOUT EACH OTHER, QUARREL AND FIGHT OVER NOTHING. . . . WITH SERIOUS COMPETITION OVER NOTHING TOO!!!!!!! In or out of NIGERIA. . . . . I AVOID THEIR AZZZZZEZ LIKE DEATH!!!! THEY ARE SOOOOOOO IRRITATING!!!!


Bottom line?


PSYCHOTIC adults. . . . . . IN MONOGAMY, POLYGAMY OR WHATEVER. . . . ARE NEVER CAPABLE OF LOVING EVEN THEMSELVES!
So how can they love others or receive love? NEVER! Unless they ACCEPT AND CHANGE THEIR SELF-DESTRUCT WAYS AND MINDSETS!

The best they can do is SHYTE out children who MUST EMBARK ON A LIFE-LONG JOURNEY OF SELF-THERAPY. . . . In the quest of self-love OR REPEAT THE CYCLE OF EMOTIONAL AND SOCIAL ISOLATION, THEN PASS THE CURSE DOWN FROM GENERATION TO GENERATION!!! Many pastors and churches are waiting to make money off their azzzzes!

*so off tonight. . . off o the gym. . . to walk for ONE HOUR*

@ kanwulia
Wow, that was long, but worth the read...right on target.

Nice!

Love in polygamy sha. I'm also from a polygamous home and trying to show love almost cost me my life, I wish I had listened to my mum then wen she warned me to be wary of the step wife and her kids. All na story now sha.

Yes kids in polygamy can love each other, it depends on their parents.

I have a friend, her siblings don't know who their biological mother is among the two wives, until they become teenagers and ask even at that the parents don't answer, they try to figure it out themselves.

Wont a child be confused if they cant tell which one is their own mother among a number of women?

Just wondering.

Kanwulia: Yes! It is possible to live with RESPECT, if not with love and harmony in a POLYGAMOUS HOME.
If the MULTIPLE-PARENT FAMILY STYLE PARTICIPANTS were CAPABLE OF LOVE BEFORE THEY HAD CHILDREN!
Polygamy or monogamy can MAR a loving spirit if it is A BITTER EXPERIENCE!
The children can ONLY get love if the parents ARE CAPABLE OF BEING LOVED AND LOVING IN RETURN!

If the children in your 'set-up' fight like cat and dogs, they learned from the parents!
YOUR SIBLINGS/STEP-SIBLINGS never had the right foundation of learning to live in love, peace and harmony!!!
THE LOVE PART IS SHEER PRETENSE!
That would not change even if YOUR LORD JESUS SHOWED UP AGAIN TO DIE FOR JUST YOUR FAMILY!!!!
It does not look like they are ready to live in peace as children. Children fight with each other in so-called monogamous families too!
The kind of fight makes a difference ONLY IF THEY LEARNED FROM THE PARENTS!
That would not change after your father dies! It only gets worse like the OJUKWU ROYAL FAMILY!!!!

Example:
On my father's side. . . . . My grand-father from EDO STATE NIGERIA had 30 kids++++ MAINLY BOYS!!!!
All the wives lived in ONE COMPOUND! THE ONLY PART OF NIGERIA HE DID NOT MARRY OR HAVE CHILDREN FROM IS EASTERN NIGERIA!!!! HALLELUJAH!!!! Some concubines ALSO HAD CHILDREN, but I COULD NEVER TELL THE DIFFERENCE GROWING UP!
I always looked forward to SPENDING the Christmas holidays in the village with ALL MY COUSINS and young UNCLES AND AUNTS!!! IT WAS FUN!!! Anytime we have reunions IT IS FUN, inside or outside NIGERIA!!!!

I NEVER KNEW WHAT WOMAN HAD WHAT CHILD. . . . Till I was waaaaaay in my teens! It was NEVER EVEN DISCUSSED!!!

On the other hand, my mother is from a STAUNCH, CATHOLIC MONOGAMOUS home WITH 9 SIBLINGS(5 girls and 4 boys) BORN TO A ONE-MAN ONE-WIFE, CATHOLIC-IGBOTIC, VILLAGE-PSEUDO-BIAFRAN-MINDED COUPLE from DELTA STATE, NIGERIA!!!! TUFIAAAAAAAKWA!!!!!! THEY FOUGHT ALL THE TIME, EVEN TILL TODAY!!! THEY PASSED THE SAME TRAITS TO THEIR CHILDREN TOO!!! Anytime they get together, THEY GOSSIP ABOUT EACH OTHER, QUARREL AND FIGHT OVER NOTHING. . . . WITH SERIOUS COMPETITION OVER NOTHING TOO!!!!!!! In or out of NIGERIA. . . . . I AVOID THEIR AZZZZZEZ LIKE DEATH!!!! THEY ARE SOOOOOOO IRRITATING!!!!


Bottom line?


PSYCHOTIC adults. . . . . . IN MONOGAMY, POLYGAMY OR WHATEVER. . . . ARE NEVER CAPABLE OF LOVING EVEN THEMSELVES!
So how can they love others or receive love? NEVER! Unless they ACCEPT AND CHANGE THEIR SELF-DESTRUCT WAYS AND MINDSETS!

The best they can do is SHYTE out children who MUST EMBARK ON A LIFE-LONG JOURNEY OF SELF-THERAPY. . . . In the quest of self-love OR REPEAT THE CYCLE OF EMOTIONAL AND SOCIAL ISOLATION, THEN PASS THE CURSE DOWN FROM GENERATION TO GENERATION!!! Many pastors and churches are waiting to make money off their azzzzes!

*so off tonight. . . off o the gym. . . to walk for ONE HOUR*

without looking @ur moniker I always know when u comment...

oluwasheyi96: Hi
Does love really exist between children of A polygamous family? My family is a polygamous one and i must say the children behave like cats and dogs even though we pretend we love each other Once in awhile. Can there be unity among us if (God forbid) my Dad dies now?

Sometimes,Yes. I dont know how they do it.
I have a family friend that is a 2nd wife to some rich but really nice man. There are three of them (wives) with a number of children. You will never know the kids are from different mothers. In my wonderment,i like to assume the man sort of made the wives take an oath or something. The love,co-operation in that family is quite envious.

My father grew up in a polygynous home. You can never tell. Infact, his mum breastfed the child of one of the other wives.

If the adults have the right attitude, the home can be quite happy. Many mummies and play mates.

In a Polygamous home the Father and the Male children have a big role in the unification of the family. For those of you who originate from a stable polygamous home you might want to take a deep insight on what form the core of the family stability.

Based on what Kanwulia said, any form of family can be troublesome either mono or poly family system. I know everyone has a problem troubling his/her mind and i believe this FAmily section in nairaland has made obvious that problem can emanate from any form of family, we only need to pray we don't fall into one.

Visit this thread to read interesting submissions on matters arising in polygyny, like: Is it advisable for the first and second wife to live together? ; should a man that is not capable of fulfilling the sexual needs of the first wife take a second wife?
https://www.nairaland.com/4112695/polygyny-should-live-second-wife#61411074