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Telling The Truth: Can It Hurt Relationships? - Family - Nairaland

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Telling The Truth: Can It Hurt Relationships? by Nobody: 8:54am On Nov 15, 2013
Howdy Y'all,

I was discussing with someone some few hours back and it got to a time we talked about saying the truth and she was like hell no... She can only say the truth if it doesn't hurt but if the truth will surely hurt and she will have to say sorry, outta go! So to monitor that aspect, all she's got to do is to watch and sieve all she says so she don't have to say sorry... even in relationships and marriages?

On googling,
Telling the Truth: Can it Hurt Relationships?:

Should we always be truthful with our partner? Couldn't it potentially damage our relationships if we always told the truth? Are there any valuable conclusions that can be made in this regard?
Although there aren't any incontrovertible resolutions to this issue, we can individually assess the potential effects of lying and always telling the truth. In the end, you'll have to make your own decision. In the mean time, you may find it useful to consider the following notions.

What Does Telling the Truth Really Mean?

If we want to know whether the truth can harm relationships, first we have to understand what it actually means to be truthful as well as what it does not mean. We'll start with what it does not mean.

People often think that telling the truth means you have to tell the other person everything that you think. It's easy to see how being truthful in this regard could be damaging to a relationship. Let's face it; we don't always think nice fluffy thoughts about our partner. Revealing all of our unpleasant thoughts and opinions will only hurt the person.

Being truthful does mean that we use careful consideration. Ask yourself, "Is what I am about to say really that important?" Telling someone you don't like their hair, that they don't fold the laundry right, or that their laugh is annoying, is not important. These kinds of statements create hurt feelings and resentment. On the other hand, if your partner is doing something that leaves you feeling hurt, or you are sincerely concerned about another aspect of the relationship, you should be honest and talk to them about it.

The Delivery

It's vital to consider the way we tell the truth. This is often more important than what we are saying. Consider the following two examples. It's the same message, just declared differently:

(a) "I hate it when you talk to me like that!"

(b) "It really hurts my feelings when you say things like that"

There's a big difference in the delivery. One is accusing, defensive, and angry. The other is open, honest, sincere, and it doesn't attack the person, but rather targets their actions. (For more information about how to discuss issues you have with someone's behavior, without blaming him or her, see the link on the left, listed under resources).

It is possible to communicate our feelings without attacking the other person, while maintaining our integrity. There is no need to act like a helpless victim. It's all about making the decision to express our true feelings in a loving and caring way. Every one responds better to this kind of communication. Think about the way you tell the truth. This is where the most damage or good can be done.

What about Lying?

Is lying out of the question, or is it a viable alternative? Consider the following before you make a decision.

Lying can destroy a relationship in an instant. This is evident when a partner cheats. You here people say all the time that what hurt the most wasn't even that the person cheated, but that they lied about it. The trust has been broken and the resulting damage is often irreparable. Clearly, lies like these are harmful.

What about other forms of lying? Say for instance, you are feeling a little down, and you don't really want to talk about it. Your partner asks if everything is alright and you say that it is. Is this kind of lying really that serious? There is nothing wrong with keeping your feelings to yourself, if they are of no consequence to your partner or the relationship. We are not obligated to spill our guts every time we have a fluctuation in mood. On the other hand, if you're upset about something that puts the relationship at stake, it's necessary to talk about it.

Summary

Although there are no rules about telling the truth or lying, it helps to consider some of the things involved. When deciding for yourself whether to tell the truth, remember to ask if what you are about to say is really that important, and think about the way you express the truth.

Keep in mind that, sometimes no matter how lovingly you tell the truth, people will not always receive it kindly. We can't control how other's react to what we say, but we can control the way we say it. So use discernment in your decisions to be truthful, that's the best way to avoid damaging relationships.

Source: http://voices.yahoo.com/telling-truth-hurt-relationships-2096594.html

1 Like

Re: Telling The Truth: Can It Hurt Relationships? by Nobody: 8:55am On Nov 15, 2013
But if you ask me, I like it when the truth is being hammered on! Hit the truth on the head even though it is bitter but it is the best for us all.

5 Likes

Re: Telling The Truth: Can It Hurt Relationships? by nerodenero: 5:00pm On Nov 15, 2013
NO
Re: Telling The Truth: Can It Hurt Relationships? by mascot87(m): 5:03pm On Nov 15, 2013
Let us not deceive ourselves,80-100% truthfulness will crash a relationship.We have to tell some lies so as to keep the relationship interesting & happy.Ọmọ,if you tell the truth always in a relationship,it will always be full of sadness,disappointments,fights and finally breakup.Some lies are meant to spice up relationships men.But HD lies breakup a relationship very fast cool

9 Likes

Re: Telling The Truth: Can It Hurt Relationships? by Oludrex(m): 5:04pm On Nov 15, 2013
Knowin wen to keep your mouth shut is a good attribute

1 Like

Re: Telling The Truth: Can It Hurt Relationships? by juniorjons(m): 5:05pm On Nov 15, 2013
[color=#000099][/color]Space reserved..... ;DSpace reserved.....
Re: Telling The Truth: Can It Hurt Relationships? by Ucheosefoh(m): 5:06pm On Nov 15, 2013
It can hurt and it have cause many break ups, some piple hate the truth especially the runs gals and womanisers.
Re: Telling The Truth: Can It Hurt Relationships? by OuchDaddy(m): 5:06pm On Nov 15, 2013
Sighs..... Missed FTC Spot! @topic....I will read u later
Re: Telling The Truth: Can It Hurt Relationships? by lafuria1(m): 5:07pm On Nov 15, 2013
yes it does because you have people who cant handle the truth. and sometimes lying is necessary in other to make peace.
Re: Telling The Truth: Can It Hurt Relationships? by adexsimply(m): 5:07pm On Nov 15, 2013
Oludrex: Knowin wen to keep your mouth shut is a good attribute
True!!
That's an attribute many people lack angry angry

1 Like

Re: Telling The Truth: Can It Hurt Relationships? by moscobabs(m): 5:08pm On Nov 15, 2013
yes...but beta for u to satisfy ur conscience than to tell lie,cos u if ur spouse does not know u are telling lie,your conscience will tell u.but better to say the true.

1 Like

Re: Telling The Truth: Can It Hurt Relationships? by babyBB: 5:09pm On Nov 15, 2013
Its better the truth is being said than later discovering dat all wat the person said was a lie in order to protect my feelings. There is no good way of doing bad thing
Re: Telling The Truth: Can It Hurt Relationships? by Nobody: 5:10pm On Nov 15, 2013
omo try insert a big lie in between truths to mask it if u wanna last e.g LAST YEAR MY DADDY WENT TO ABUJA (TRUTH), HE BOUGHT A RANGE ROVER(LIE), BUT HE HAD AN ACCIDENT COMING BACK HOME(TRUTH) grin

4 Likes

Re: Telling The Truth: Can It Hurt Relationships? by Nobody: 5:11pm On Nov 15, 2013
Nairaland they dry this days oooh
Re: Telling The Truth: Can It Hurt Relationships? by Rastamann: 5:11pm On Nov 15, 2013
Yes, atimes we need to tell a 'necessary' lie in order to keep what we love.
Re: Telling The Truth: Can It Hurt Relationships? by Nobody: 5:11pm On Nov 15, 2013
If u need to, use wisdom to go about it
Re: Telling The Truth: Can It Hurt Relationships? by Smartiegurl(f): 5:12pm On Nov 15, 2013
No matter how good a person might be, we can never nd will never say the truth always! We all human, we lie to make people feel good atimes. Truth is, no matter how hard we try, we don't always say the truth.

But keeping our mouth shut most times is better. This way you won't have to hurt any one.

1 Like

Re: Telling The Truth: Can It Hurt Relationships? by thawana(f): 5:12pm On Nov 15, 2013
The truth hurts but safer to know it.broke up with my BF cos of his plenty lies,infact lying is a habit for him.SMH
Re: Telling The Truth: Can It Hurt Relationships? by OkikiOluwa1(m): 5:12pm On Nov 15, 2013
A truth that's told earlier ll be appreciated on the long run.
A truth that's kept ll hurt on the long run.
Re: Telling The Truth: Can It Hurt Relationships? by Vicjay1(m): 5:13pm On Nov 15, 2013
There are some secrets that are better not revealed. There are some secrets even your own mother can't tell u.

1 Like

Re: Telling The Truth: Can It Hurt Relationships? by greall1: 5:15pm On Nov 15, 2013
.
Re: Telling The Truth: Can It Hurt Relationships? by Arosa(m): 5:15pm On Nov 15, 2013
It's good to tell the truth but we humans are not ready for a life of truth and nothing but the truth. undecided
Re: Telling The Truth: Can It Hurt Relationships? by Jaywilzee(m): 5:17pm On Nov 15, 2013
Sometime it dos.......
Re: Telling The Truth: Can It Hurt Relationships? by oyedun82(m): 5:17pm On Nov 15, 2013
dont u av google on ur browser?
Re: Telling The Truth: Can It Hurt Relationships? by Big4wig(m): 5:17pm On Nov 15, 2013
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2 Likes

Re: Telling The Truth: Can It Hurt Relationships? by Bishop4bella(m): 5:18pm On Nov 15, 2013
space booked
Re: Telling The Truth: Can It Hurt Relationships? by Oziddy: 5:19pm On Nov 15, 2013
yes
Re: Telling The Truth: Can It Hurt Relationships? by oladoya(m): 5:20pm On Nov 15, 2013
he who keepeth his mouth keepeth his soul.
Re: Telling The Truth: Can It Hurt Relationships? by Vicjay1(m): 5:20pm On Nov 15, 2013
thawana: The truth hurts but safer to know it.broke up with my BF cos of his plenty lies,infact lying is a habit for him.SMH
I tell u is only bad when u make telling lies or keeping secret a habit. Search ur mind, there are somethings about u can't just tell ur BF
Re: Telling The Truth: Can It Hurt Relationships? by 2tek: 5:22pm On Nov 15, 2013
Its better u kip it to urself if u know its going 2 seriously hurt ur partner nd cause total separation. Imagine ur husband telling u dat he was a cultist nd has killed up to 20pple nd buried 4 alive but has now repented. Another scinario is ur wife telling u dat she was a full blown prostitute nd has slept more than 70 men,half of whom she can not even recognise nd also she has done 6 abortions.
If u have this kind of can of worms,seek genuine repentance from God nd kip quiet. don't dump ur emotional gabbage on ur partner

2 Likes

Re: Telling The Truth: Can It Hurt Relationships? by MrAboki: 5:24pm On Nov 15, 2013
Depends on who you are in the relationship with..

2 Likes

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