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Six Funny Life Lessons ( Very Funny ) - Jokes Etc - Nairaland

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Six Funny Life Lessons ( Very Funny ) by ionaira(f): 4:54pm On Nov 30, 2013
Here are six very funny and interesting life lessons you should see and share with the people you love.
Lesson 1: Naked Wife

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, “I’ll give you $800 to drop that towel.” After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob.

After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 dollars and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks,…

“Who was that?” “It was Bob the next door neighbor,” she replies. “Great!” the husband says, “Did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?”

Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.


Lesson 2
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, “I’ll give each of you just one wish” “Me first! Me first!” says the administration clerk. “I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.” Poof! She’s gone. “Me next! Me next!” says the sales rep. “I want to be in Hawaii,relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.” Poof! He’s gone. “OK, you’re up,” the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, “I want those two back in the office after lunch.”

Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.




Lesson 3
A priest offered a lift to a Nun. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said,”Father, remember Psalm 129?” The priest removed his hand. But,changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, “Father, remember Psalm 129?” The priest apologized “Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.” Arriving at the convent, the nun went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, “Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.”

Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.

Lesson 4
A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A rabbit asked him,”Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?” The crow answered: “Sure, why not.” So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested.

A fox jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very high up.

Lesson 5: Power of Charisma
A turkey was chatting with a bull “I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree,” sighed the turkey, but I haven’t got the energy.” “Well, why don’t you nibble on my droppings?” replied the bull. “They’re packed with nutrients.” The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.

Moral of the story: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it wont keep you there.

Lesson 6
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Moral of the story:
1. Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy
2. Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend
3. And when you’re in deep shit, it’s best to keep your mouth shut!
Six Funny Life Lessons ( Very Funny )

82 Likes

Re: Six Funny Life Lessons ( Very Funny ) by coalcoal1(m): 8:09pm On Nov 30, 2013
very interesting .... lol

1 Like

Re: Six Funny Life Lessons ( Very Funny ) by sexymoma(f): 4:07pm On Dec 02, 2013
Biko how many times will this topic make fp angry

4 Likes

Re: Six Funny Life Lessons ( Very Funny ) by vicoloni(m): 4:08pm On Dec 02, 2013
Not bad but old info
Re: Six Funny Life Lessons ( Very Funny ) by Nobody: 4:09pm On Dec 02, 2013
How many times will this make FP angry
Re: Six Funny Life Lessons ( Very Funny ) by wrench: 4:10pm On Dec 02, 2013
Captivating.
Re: Six Funny Life Lessons ( Very Funny ) by simongonner: 4:11pm On Dec 02, 2013
Lovely
Re: Six Funny Life Lessons ( Very Funny ) by slap1(m): 4:12pm On Dec 02, 2013
“Go forth and
seek, further up, you will find glory.”
Advice of the day.

1 Like

Re: Six Funny Life Lessons ( Very Funny ) by zicjoe(m): 4:12pm On Dec 02, 2013
e tire me sef. read this last month

1 Like

Re: Six Funny Life Lessons ( Very Funny ) by taiocol: 4:13pm On Dec 02, 2013
this is incredible
Re: Six Funny Life Lessons ( Very Funny ) by Stundey(m): 4:13pm On Dec 02, 2013
I gbadun this
Re: Six Funny Life Lessons ( Very Funny ) by 1shortblackboy: 4:14pm On Dec 02, 2013
undecided
Re: Six Funny Life Lessons ( Very Funny ) by born2boink(m): 4:15pm On Dec 02, 2013
Not interesting
Re: Six Funny Life Lessons ( Very Funny ) by vanguard1(m): 4:15pm On Dec 02, 2013
What is this doing on front page when there are more important things languishing in politics and education sector. Mods should stop lifting front page materials from sexuality section ....mtcheew

1 Like

Re: Six Funny Life Lessons ( Very Funny ) by Ngasky(m): 4:15pm On Dec 02, 2013
Hilarious grin
Re: Six Funny Life Lessons ( Very Funny ) by KayEnn(m): 4:15pm On Dec 02, 2013
Wow...read with much enthusiasm...mouth left agag grin
Re: Six Funny Life Lessons ( Very Funny ) by Akshow: 4:15pm On Dec 02, 2013
Are the mods high on cheap weed? This shait was on d fp last week na
Re: Six Funny Life Lessons ( Very Funny ) by slap1(m): 4:16pm On Dec 02, 2013
And when you’re in deep poo, it’s best to
keep your mouth shut!
I like this!
Re: Six Funny Life Lessons ( Very Funny ) by Ditoya(m): 4:16pm On Dec 02, 2013
How many times will it make front page
Re: Six Funny Life Lessons ( Very Funny ) by Ditoya(m): 4:17pm On Dec 02, 2013
How many times will it make front page Nice Though
Re: Six Funny Life Lessons ( Very Funny ) by imsuboi(m): 4:17pm On Dec 02, 2013
all these people making noise that this has reached front page before, I have one question for you..




















[size=60pt] na your website? undecided
undecided
[/size]


The last time I checked, nairaland belongs to seun! So keep calm & grab the message the OP is trying to pass on
angry

7 Likes

Re: Six Funny Life Lessons ( Very Funny ) by 6ft: 4:19pm On Dec 02, 2013
grin ;Dnice write up...love d 6th
Re: Six Funny Life Lessons ( Very Funny ) by missKeri(f): 4:19pm On Dec 02, 2013
Lol....Very funny
Re: Six Funny Life Lessons ( Very Funny ) by Nobody: 4:19pm On Dec 02, 2013
Facts of Life smiley
Re: Six Funny Life Lessons ( Very Funny ) by rodeo0070(m): 4:21pm On Dec 02, 2013
*LOL*
This one na true lesson fa!!!
Re: Six Funny Life Lessons ( Very Funny ) by Nikapetrelli(f): 4:28pm On Dec 02, 2013
Funny tins
Re: Six Funny Life Lessons ( Very Funny ) by Lilimax(f): 4:28pm On Dec 02, 2013
Slow news day on Nairaland angry
No doubt?

1 Like

Re: Six Funny Life Lessons ( Very Funny ) by Cyberhacker: 4:29pm On Dec 02, 2013
Na so
Re: Six Funny Life Lessons ( Very Funny ) by CyrusLevi(m): 4:29pm On Dec 02, 2013
Truely funny but true life lessons.
Re: Six Funny Life Lessons ( Very Funny ) by nerodenero: 4:30pm On Dec 02, 2013
Very interesting, educative and thought-provoking .

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