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My Experience At Ikoyi Prison With Inmates And Warders - Nairaland / General - Nairaland

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My Experience At Ikoyi Prison With Inmates And Warders by experimentist: 2:00pm On Dec 07, 2013
Una well done o! I saw a thread about Monalisa Chinda visiting kirikiri prison nahin I say make I open dis thread to share my own experience at prison.

Omo my own no be visiting o, my own I go collect apartment for there ni, in fact, I carry matrass come. No be small tin o, I just weed spot dey blow my joint while blasting Amaru Shakur thru my phone wit d earpiece attached to my ears. I was having fun not knowing say dem akelebe don buss up d place. Naso dem jejely come meet me for where I balance like chairman dey flex my igboh.. To cut the long stroy short, I was caught wit some couple of dudes str8 to d station. We slept there and the next day na str8 to court, I was like WTF's goin on!

We were charged with public disturbance, smoking in public, causing nuisance etc etc etc.. Like play, like play, we were place on bail of 40k no be small tin me wey be say I no get shimgba for my account and the worst part is that it happened on Friday there's no way our bail terms can met up cos it's already 4-5pm that day..

To cut the long story short, we all have to hit the prison before our bail is ready... Naso dem package us put for hummer jeep o, "zooooooom" before u could say Jack, we are at the prison gate. I say to myself "God, so na so pesin dey take enter jail?, why I even enter dat joint sef? Why I no kukuma dey my house jeje" I silently asked myself all dis questions with fear all thru my body..

Abeg no time, make yarn d main tin, ehen, while I was in the jail I saw things. The place is entirely a different world. All man for himself! The food na die! In the morning dem go bring beans wey be like sh'it, afternoon dem fit carry eba without soup come nothing concern dem na u know as u go take chop am. For night dem fit bring ordinary garri come.. Iyaf die!

Most inmates wey don tey there dem no dey even send prison food because na rubbish. Many get their self-made cooking stove.. There was a guy in there that use to produce dat particular stove for dem mostly. He make many of various sizes using tin cans of milk, bournvita, paints tins.. Mehn come c creativity inside jail. The guy dey make stove sell for prison grin

So there was dis warder who usually behave like a hunger dog to the extent that he even intimidate inmates, eat their specially prepared foods etc... So, that day an inmate was cooking a very good-looking beans when d warder entered d cell. As he perceived the good smell of wat's cooking he said "ah mmm, una dey enjoy oh, so una come dey chop beta for inside prison abi?" He said playfully to the guy who was busy cooking. "I must chop dis one oh wether u like am or not" he said again to d guy who act as if he didn't even c d warder. "I dey come make I go bring plate" d warder walks out of the room quickly to bring his plate. The whole room bust to laughter and curses were rained on the warder. Suddenly someone came up wit a bad idea, he told the guy cooking to fetch his own beans leave the reamining in the small which is till steaming on the little stove made of peak mill tin.

The dude cooking fetched his own as d other guy instructed and left the rest there. The guy got up and enters a small room which is inside the same cell. The small room is serving a the whole state's toilet.

NOTE: every room cell is a state on its own.

There a big paint rubber in the 'state's toilet' which served as the main sh'it container. It gets filled to the brim with mighty-heavy-duty sh'it before the day runs out.. President, governors, senators all emptied their sh'it bowels inside the miserable container..

Ok back on d matter. Dis guy came out of the state toilet wit a small plastic plate which he used to fetch some sh'it and emptied all the content in the remaining beans which is still steaming on the stove. He also brought a plastic containing red oil, he spread some oil on the sh'it and beans, added small maggi and salt then went back and to his normal position. Not quite long the warder cane whistling with his place and bread in hand. The idi0t wan come chaw free beans!

"Ah see dis criminal! So u don run chop am finish abi?" He asked. "No oh, e still remain na officer, I remain am well for you" he inmate said. "Wasere, no worry, God go answer ur prayers" warder said to inmate stupidly as he fetched the remaining beans and emptied all in his plate.

52 Likes

Re: My Experience At Ikoyi Prison With Inmates And Warders by experimentist: 2:01pm On Dec 07, 2013
To be continued...
Re: My Experience At Ikoyi Prison With Inmates And Warders by snika: 5:49pm On Dec 07, 2013
Nice writeup. This is frontpage material cool

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Experience At Ikoyi Prison With Inmates And Warders by experimentist: 6:52pm On Dec 07, 2013
snika: Nice writeup. This is frontpage material cool
wow tenks.. U'll make a good mod! U shld be a replacement for ogugua wink

4 Likes

Re: My Experience At Ikoyi Prison With Inmates And Warders by longjohnsilver: 7:23pm On Dec 07, 2013
Oya come finish dis tori oh...






omo dat guy go hear am wen dat warder chop dat beans...damn
Re: My Experience At Ikoyi Prison With Inmates And Warders by Oludrex(m): 8:41pm On Dec 07, 2013
Space Reserved...
Re: My Experience At Ikoyi Prison With Inmates And Warders by Oludrex(m): 8:41pm On Dec 07, 2013
5th to comment
Re: My Experience At Ikoyi Prison With Inmates And Warders by Oludrex(m): 8:42pm On Dec 07, 2013
Longjohnsilver.. Abeg help me do that pics na
Re: My Experience At Ikoyi Prison With Inmates And Warders by experimentist: 8:49pm On Dec 07, 2013
Oludrex: 5th to comment
guy u dey vex oh.. Which record u wan break?
Re: My Experience At Ikoyi Prison With Inmates And Warders by Davo93(m): 9:42pm On Dec 07, 2013
cheesy Lol... You guys were bad ooo. Anyway, na wetin person sabi eat dey always kill am.

@OP, abeg come finish ya tori o... grin

3 Likes

Re: My Experience At Ikoyi Prison With Inmates And Warders by Nobody: 9:48pm On Dec 07, 2013
experimentist: wow tenks.. U'll make a good mod! U shld be a replacement for ogugua wink

Can someone pls tell me y ogugua nd sexkillz were removed 4rm bin mods not dat i care buh i jez wanna know out of curiosity

3 Likes

Re: My Experience At Ikoyi Prison With Inmates And Warders by Davo93(m): 9:56pm On Dec 07, 2013
Pweedylipsmoi:

Can someone pls tell me y ogugua nd sexkillz were removed 4rm bin mods not dat i care buh i jez wanna know out of curiosity
Alright. Check here, i think this should assist a bit. smiley

http://nairaland.com/1546381/sexkillz-ogugua88-resign

2 Likes

Re: My Experience At Ikoyi Prison With Inmates And Warders by experimentist: 9:58pm On Dec 07, 2013
Who be dat geh wey wan derail dis front page thread? Abeg reverse and park well oh!

3 Likes

Re: My Experience At Ikoyi Prison With Inmates And Warders by experimentist: 10:44pm On Dec 07, 2013
continuation...


We looked as the hungry, shameless man emptied the small pot of beans mixed with sh'it and red oil all for himself and went straight out of the cell. Peeping thru the door, I saw him balanced on a chair as he placed the food (sorry, the sh'it food) on a small stood. He tore the nylon holding the bread, grabs his spoon and got set to start eating sh'it (my smelly sh'it included). Mehn what a disgusting sight to behold! We all watch as he fetched the shyte/beans and happily emptied the content in his bigass mouth. I was astonished the way this stupid man keeps swallowing the thing without even thinking twice. as he ate and ate, a few minutes later he paused for a very long while, guess the toxin has started taking its course.... He didn't finish the meal before he excused himsef, he left the plate and the remaining bread there and headed out of our ward.


To be continued

7 Likes

Re: My Experience At Ikoyi Prison With Inmates And Warders by Hackerjay(m): 10:46pm On Dec 07, 2013
I shall neva step my foot in prison IJN...wot of u...

28 Likes

Re: My Experience At Ikoyi Prison With Inmates And Warders by Tmany(m): 11:00pm On Dec 07, 2013
guy rush the story nau
Re: My Experience At Ikoyi Prison With Inmates And Warders by experimentist: 11:24pm On Dec 07, 2013
Hackerjay: I shall neva step my foot in prison IJN...wot of u...
Amen oh! Bro, no pray mek even ur enemy go there oh. Dat place no good at all! As in, d place worst!

2 Likes

Re: My Experience At Ikoyi Prison With Inmates And Warders by oyeludef(m): 2:56am On Dec 08, 2013
yuck... irritating

3 Likes

Re: My Experience At Ikoyi Prison With Inmates And Warders by Nobody: 2:21pm On Dec 08, 2013
Lol abeg continue

1 Like

Re: My Experience At Ikoyi Prison With Inmates And Warders by Nobody: 3:43pm On Dec 08, 2013
Nice story. grin
Re: My Experience At Ikoyi Prison With Inmates And Warders by Nobody: 3:46pm On Dec 08, 2013
Lmao! Wtf!!

1 Like

Re: My Experience At Ikoyi Prison With Inmates And Warders by LMAyedun(m): 3:46pm On Dec 08, 2013
Lol!
Oga Op, where you go nau?
Re: My Experience At Ikoyi Prison With Inmates And Warders by rill: 3:46pm On Dec 08, 2013
On front page already
Re: My Experience At Ikoyi Prison With Inmates And Warders by Coldfeet(f): 3:47pm On Dec 08, 2013
grin Sowie o
Re: My Experience At Ikoyi Prison With Inmates And Warders by slimur(m): 3:49pm On Dec 08, 2013
Bros which way!!!!! Abeg continue
Nah!!!!!!
Re: My Experience At Ikoyi Prison With Inmates And Warders by nnocurruption: 3:49pm On Dec 08, 2013
..
Re: My Experience At Ikoyi Prison With Inmates And Warders by Nobody: 3:50pm On Dec 08, 2013
i hope say u dey talk true sha, cos something tells me this is fabricated. Even an insane person would almost immediately realise that 'food' isn't beans. At the first spoon, won't his tongue feel the 'different pieces' of bean scattered about in his mouth while chewing, unlike shit which is just a mass of crap. Also even if his nasal cavity is dat bad, the smell radiating from the food should still indicate to him dat that whatever is in his front aint food but a massive piece of dung. But well you've claimed he ate the food to a reasonable extent b4 it started affecting him. Adonbilivit! undecided

7 Likes

Re: My Experience At Ikoyi Prison With Inmates And Warders by iluvweed(m): 3:52pm On Dec 08, 2013
How ordinary weed go land you for court?

I dont believe jare..... undecided


If na so e easy I for don turn SAN or JUDGE since LOL

1 Like

Re: My Experience At Ikoyi Prison With Inmates And Warders by telim: 3:52pm On Dec 08, 2013
it seems all nigerian prison are the same. hmmm, i can never forget the year 2010 when a police man lied against me and my friend which later landed us in two week remind in koto jail at koto karfe local government area of kogi state, each cell in that jail is called a country.My cell is Governed by a president, a special adviser to the president, minister of finance, chief of defence staff, chief judge and a commissioner of police. Our cell is often called a country where an ant rule an elephant because the president is thin and sick but still control all the inmates in his cell. New inmate must pay a compulsory fee of N500 to the minister of finance which is used to pay the salaries of the president, ministers, the chief judge and the commissioner. Any inmate that violate the rules and regulation of the country will be arrested by the commissioner of police, charge to court and will be punish by the chief judge all within the same cell, though likely punishment are washing of toilet with sponge for some days, guarding the toilet, entertaining the inmates with good music and dance steps and a fine of not more than N800. I hope our government will do more to make it a better place for inmates, and also pray to never experience such a nightmare in my entire life again.

14 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Experience At Ikoyi Prison With Inmates And Warders by Nobody: 3:53pm On Dec 08, 2013
nnocurruption: ..
come which kain space keeping be this?? Dem they share money for pple wey make front page?! Someone pls enlighten me!!
Re: My Experience At Ikoyi Prison With Inmates And Warders by Monarchmindset(m): 3:53pm On Dec 08, 2013
Booking space in progress.....
Re: My Experience At Ikoyi Prison With Inmates And Warders by badmrkt(m): 3:54pm On Dec 08, 2013
Oboy come finish this tory. Abi dem don arrest you again?

2 Likes

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