Hello all, I need to help a friend out here, his marriage is falling apart.
Married barely a year ago and very much in love with each other and all seemed so wonderfully well for this new couple until his wife got this new job and barely 3months into the new job, she was sexually assaulted by her boss. As the story goes, she was in the office when her boss asked her to accompany him to an official location to see a client. en-route, the client site, her boss claims the car developed a fault and proposed that since his house was close by, he can manage 2 drive down there, park the car and get them a taxi to continue his journey. Well they get to the house and upon inviting her into the house, he eventually rapes and sexually assaults her.

She calls her husband who in obvious outrage gets her to the clinic and files a report, the assailant upon hearing of the vengeful venom of the husband comes begging with a host of emissaries and offers a sum of money which the husband reluctantly accepts upon several pleas. However he didnt mention a thing about the money to his wife or family as he claims he wasn't right thinking at the time. Eventually the wife gets to know of the said sum and feels her husband has exploited her. In a turn of events, the boss is now claiming that the said lady and her husband colluded to swindle him of the sum of money.

At the moment the wife has moved out of the matrimonial home on the claim that her husband has sold her and she has not returned for close to 2months. All pleas to the wife to explain why he didnt mention the money issue has fallen on deaf ears, the wife seems set not to return, please Nairalanders what can I tell my friend he is loosing himself. She would not talk to him, she wouldnt pick his calls and she also avoids his friends who try to wade into the debacle. She has also avoided his family members who only wanted to settle the issue.

My friend loves his wife so much Kiss and this is hitting him like a tsunami of sorts Huh Huh, , please what do you think? Is something else going on, is he having an affair with the boss?, was she actually raped as she claims?, please help with your insightful views,

I seriously refuse to believe that a woman who is/was having an affair with her boss would move out of the house. Obviously she is offended and I would be too. I really do not know what to say though but to infer that it wasn't rape is so wrong!

But after all the pleading, , she still vowed not to come back home!!
I also get the impression that her mum never really like her husband so for her she will simply wish the husband take a walk,

If a woman was hurt, why take out the agression on the man who tried to avenge?
I guess there's something shaddy in-between

If I were in her shoes, I would have done the same and left.
If he is trully sorry, he should ask for forgiveness. Now all he can do is wait and she if she finds it in her heart to forgive him. She is the victim here and it may not be easy for her look past these embarasing and hurtful events.

It is not about the boss. Why did her husband take money from him(the boss)?

I dont think the mother in law's judgement of him is the case here. If she did not listen to her mum before, why would that matter now? The issue at hand is the bribe the husband took for the rape.

dadahgirl:

I don't think the mother in law's judgement of him is the case here. If she did not listen to her mum before, why would that matter now? The issue at hand is the bribe the husband took for the rape.

Gbam! What kind of husband is that? Taking money from someone who raped your wife. Disgusting to say the least.

chika98:

Gbam! What kind of husband is that? Taking money from someone who raped your wife. Disgusting to say the least.

My exact sentiments! Disgusting
I too, would not want to go back to the husband.

This guy mentioned that his wife had come home sometime like 2months b4 the rape with the same boss and mentioned that the boss called her into an office and tried to handle her boobs from behind her!! he later came to apologize and he said all he told his wife was to watch out for that guy, he didnt say more than that, I think this girl has more to say about whats happening and y she left her matrimonial home ,

i really feel bad for them but if ur friend realy loves his wife then should let her decide what she wants to do with her marriage.

kbikes ur post makes a lot of sense!!

Well the guy explained a number of things, and has pleaded with his wife and family members have asked him 2 refund the money,,
he really doesnt have issues with returinin d money,

he simply wants to understand y she left in the first case, is it because of the money? or is there something else going on behind his back,
recall that this same girl has been havin issues with the boss prior to the rape she claims,

@ poster
in accepting money from a man who rapes his wife,your friend has succeded in destroying the marraige.
the trust has completely been betrayed.
look at the scenario;
someone rapes ur wife,ur wife tells you,naturally you became angry,then the "raper" uses money to beg you.you collect the money (which is bad enough),and worse of all,you refuse to tell ur wife.
that is really terrible,and i honestly feel there is little anyone can do.
your friend really messed up big time.he must be a very greedy man.he no excuse for his actions.
that kind of man can sell his family if the price is right.
infact,he should be left alone to suffer the consequences of his action.
if my friend did that to his wife,i do not think i will go and beg anybody.

@poster

did this happen to you?!

Hmmmm,

it really is a messy situation.

1. the husband lacks integrity, why the hell did he collect the money?

2. and when the dude collected the said money, why didn't he tell his wife?

3. now, the boss has turned the whole show around, he now claims husband and wife swindled him to get the money.

my recommendations,

1. they should all stop making a fuss out of the situation because they now don't have any proof that the boss raped the wife.

2. the wife should resign.

3. the husband should, if possible, return the money he collected from his wife's boss.

4. the wife should forgive the husband, i know, i know, it is really difficult, but when life deals you such a blow like this, you really have to move on, and face life.

5. healing has to take place here(not just physical, but also spiritual),

Hmmmm,

it really is a messy situation.

1. the husband lacks integrity, why the hell did he collect the money?

2. and when the dude collected the said money, why didn't he tell his wife?

3. now, the boss has turned the whole show around, he now claims husband and wife swindled him to get the money.

my recommendations,

1. they should all stop making a fuss out of the situation because they now don't have any proof that the boss raped the wife.

2. the wife should resign.

3. the husband should, if possible, return the money he collected from his wife's boss.

4. the wife should forgive the husband, i know, i know, it is really difficult, but when life deals you such a blow like this, you really have to move on, and face life.

5. healing has to take place here(not just physical, but also spiritual), they need to go for counselling.

6. the couple should sit down and really talk, pour out their hearts to each other.

7. if possible, they should move out of that town.

choi

i can only feel bad

The husband is seriously sick.

That's not a husband, that's a freaking love-vendor.

Anyone who slightly indicates she should go back to him is a little touched in the head. My God! Like it's not bad enough she was raped, then she finds out the guy who is supposed to love and protect her took hush money. Bastard is an understatement, he is the spawn of the devil. I swear, I can just see him walking up to random men, telling them "I'll let you rape my wife for 20 grand. No, sorry, that's the last price. . . you are getting a sweet deal oh and it's because you seem like a nice guy and I need to buy new headlight for my car, the last guy paid 35. Oya, check or money order?"

No offense OP but the appropriate title for this thread should be "Despicable Husband Ruins His Marriage".

Gah! Some people are just evil.

This is definitely the last straw

The wife feels betrayed, embarrassed and let down.

To even imply that the reason she left her home was because she was not raped but had something going on with the boss is adding insult to injury.

I love love love love love my hubby to dealth but this my dear can not be forgiven. He SOLD his wife like she was some common hooka on the street. Is this how a man shows his support for his wife and helps her thru the most dractic of things to happen to a woman.

Then to top it all off, all of his friends, family and anyone else knows that his wife was raped. OH MY GOD how this woman must feel. I would not be able to lay eyes on my husband again. How do you betray someone you love that way?

This is really burning me up. Men just dont understand what a woman goes thru after being raped and to be so insenitive like he has been now thinking words and begging will help. The worse thing he did was get others involved. If kept just between the two of them this thing may have been able to be resolved now everyone knows she was raped and her husband sold her.

Let me just add that my heart is heavy for her and my eyes are full. I really am sorry this happened to this sista.

Now she will never get justice thanks to her husbands actions and greed.

Sista woman don come, the one and only veteran

The lady with all answers to your sexual and relationship problems!

I dont blame her at all

what a shameless "husband"

Gross. Where someone else would have inflicted servere harm on this boss, he went off taking money?

How embarrassing.

How insensitive

Gonorrhea:

Sista woman don come, the one and only veteran

The lady with all answers to you sexual and relationship problems!

Why is it that you choose a different woman to harrass on a daily? Do you not have anything else to do with your time?

sistawoman:

Why is it that you choose a different woman to harrass on a daily? Do you not have anything else to do with your time?

I have not harrassed you, i am only commending, don't throw tantrums or raise the roof!

thank you very much and God bless

But after all the pleading, , she still vowed not to come back home!!
I also get the impression that her mum never really like her husband so for her she will simply wish the husband take a walk,

If a woman was hurt, why take out the agression on the man who tried to avenge?
I guess there's something shaddy in-between

First it's "shady" Secondly you sound like a jackass

What did he avenge? Taking money instead of beating up the boss? Is that how you avenge people in your village? Remind people never to marry from your crew of pansies.

After all the "women need to be protected, they are the weaker sex", your idiotic friend couldnt even protect his wife. He took money like some pathetic beggar. Shamless loser. Like Sisi said, he's a love-vendor and capable of selling his children/family if need be.

It's NOT about returning the money, it's the fact that he took the money in the first place and didnt even tell her. Your friend is a scallwag and so are you for defending him. What a loser

eagle5exe:

Well the guy explained a number of things, and has pleaded with his wife and family members have asked him 2 refund the money,,
he really doesnt have issues with returinin d money,

he simply wants to understand y she left in the first case, is it because of the money? or is there something else going on behind his back,
recall that this same girl has been havin issues with the boss prior to the rape she claims,

Nah wa o
Left to me i will say maybe the wife does not want to take part in her husband's company (avenging men who rape is wife by taking money from them) Excuse me! what happened to getting the police involved to deal with the bastard boss, hey if the wife was his daughter will he rent her out like that, and the audacity not to even tell her about the money,
What did he do with the money?
Why did he not tell his wife?
Why did he not have enough dignity to tell a rich bastard to go to hell with his money?
As a man even if he had no money why did he not tear the man's shirt and make a real bad scene at the man's work place?
The boss probably knew she is married to a whimp thats why he did it!
If he can answer this questions well enough and communicate with her i wish them luck

God that guy "Op's friend" is a "tart"

He can prolly use his whole family for blood money.

She shldn't get back, this is a typical example of "the love of money is evil"

the guy has no excuse so he shud just shut the 4k up.
if he forgot to tell her like he said,
when he was spending the money dint he remember where it came from?
how can a man rape ur wife and u recieve monetary compesation? is that supposed to be some form of appreciation for a good did?
the guy is not just stupid but greedy, and
@ post
ur conclusion was never right, he was not in love with her from inception, if not he wud not let that bastard go, talkless of paying him for doing his wife.

Horny4u, ur post seems to make a lotof sense. However I must tell you that this is a guy I no with so much integrity! tested and proven at several times so somehow it beats several persons why this is happening and I must say that this is the reason Ihave decided to seek help/opinins from both persons.

I asked him a lot of questions and though certain things werent as clear, but I guess I understood a lot better.

He showed me the untouched money and I was made 2 understand that someone a reknown church pastor was involved in the pleadin and that the money was not directly collected by the guy.

I also gathered that the moment he got wind of what happend, he headed straight for the police station, but his WIFE AND HER MUM practically dissuaded him from presseing any ccharges with the POLICE.

The friend who I figure exploited the situation said he feels the wife was up to something fishy with her boss and confessed he pulled the money payment demand without seekin his friends opinion,

Nairalanders I havent seen an issue like this but I know this 2 people so well to watch all this happen to them after only a few months marriage!!