She Can't Stand His Family,what should she do? - Family - Nairaland
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| She Can't Stand His Family,what should she do? by blackbeau1(f): 12:39pm On Dec 18, 2013 |
Nairalanders,my friend has an issue that I would like you guys to help her resolve.She has been dating this guy for about 5years now and she really loves him.in the second year of their relationship,she got to meet his family and she disliked them on sight but then,she decided that since the relationship would probably amount to nothing,she would just tolerate them.now,this guy has proposed to her but she is confused.she really wants to accept the proposal but she can't stand his family.what should she do? Considering the fact that in most nigerian marriages,you are automatically married to the family and besides,the guy is very close to his family. |
| Re: She Can't Stand His Family,what should she do? by bellong: 12:47pm On Dec 18, 2013 |
She can stand his family?  What has the family done that she can't stand them. I would rather advised the guy to run for his dear life except he can withstand someone who will scatter his family. 1 Like |
| Re: She Can't Stand His Family,what should she do? by Toktee(m): 12:57pm On Dec 18, 2013 |
Liar,you start ur post as"i can't stand his family"then you continued from the body of the post as "my friend"the question is who are you lieing to? You have a problem,table it here as a member so that matured people will help you with advice,instead you decide to hide under ur friend,beside how can you hate someone at the first sight,except you come from a broken home,how can you married to a guy and thnk he should lock his family outside cos of you,who are you;a total stranger? Look like u have a personal problems. WARNING,JAY BEE STAY OFF MY TAIL! |
| Re: She Can't Stand His Family,what should she do? by Nobody: 1:13pm On Dec 18, 2013 |
If you must marry a man,you must be able to stand his family, like it or not.The only option here is to leave this man to find a woman that regards his family. |
| Re: She Can't Stand His Family,what should she do? by jeffizy(m): 1:15pm On Dec 18, 2013 |
I will want you to accept this suggestion even though it may sound hard. Pls Quit . For you to have such a first impression of your 'imminent in-laws', then I don't see how that impression will change. I'm guessing you and your boo are Nigerians. With that, you know a new couple can't go too far without the extended family. |
| Re: She Can't Stand His Family,what should she do? by pickabeau1: 1:19pm On Dec 18, 2013 |
why does she not like the familiy... does she have a bad feeling about them |
| Re: She Can't Stand His Family,what should she do? by Nobody: 1:25pm On Dec 18, 2013 |
Jeffizy why can't a new couple go far without extended family,can you elaborate on that statement? |
| Re: She Can't Stand His Family,what should she do? by pickabeau1: 1:31pm On Dec 18, 2013 |
byvan: Jeffizy why can't a new couple go far without extended family,can you elaborate on that statement? Let me ask you another way, do you parents or in laws have any involvement in your family now If YES.. Imagine they were not there, how will you have coped If No... well thats life |
| Re: She Can't Stand His Family,what should she do? by Nobody: 1:34pm On Dec 18, 2013 |
What do you mean by involvement??involvement of what sort?i mean apart from visiting them when you wish to,calling to know how they are faring,which other involvement are we talking about? |
| Re: She Can't Stand His Family,what should she do? by pickabeau1: 1:36pm On Dec 18, 2013 |
Involvement is what it is.. (no need for the double kweshion marks  )Do you believe extended family have a role to play in a marriage... thats it The extent of the role may differ but some posters believe in me and my husband,,, what is your take If you want involvement to be limited to courtesy calls and visits,, no problem |
| Re: She Can't Stand His Family,what should she do? by Jazz247: 1:41pm On Dec 18, 2013 |
This is a lifetime decision. PLEASE QIUT, QIUT AND QUIT. Follow your instinct. This is my 2kobo for u. |
| Re: She Can't Stand His Family,what should she do? by Nobody: 1:44pm On Dec 18, 2013 |
Biola If double question marks bothers you,you could have easily chose one and leave the other,couldn't you?  .You clarified my question with your last paragraph. Yeah,i guess involvement is what it is,even if it doesn't entail encroachment of any sort. |
| Re: She Can't Stand His Family,what should she do? by pickabeau1: 1:46pm On Dec 18, 2013 |
byvan: You clarified my question with your last paragraph. Yeah,i guess involvement is what it is,even if it doesn't entail encroachment of any sort. No problem... youve answered my question Generally having a good relationship with inlaws is a good recipe for a successful marriage however it is not a pre requisite.. Every (wo)man to h(er)is marriage |
| Re: She Can't Stand His Family,what should she do? by Nobody: 2:01pm On Dec 18, 2013 |
A successful marriage is" what it is",a good relationship with inlaws is also"what it is",both independent of the other.You can have a great relationship with your in law but yet your marriage is in shambles. Though Op must accept a man's family before thinking of marrying him.The rest of my post is for discussion's sake. 1 Like |
| Re: She Can't Stand His Family,what should she do? by Nobody: 2:09pm On Dec 18, 2013 |
'his family ke' . . . I've got news for you oh, as soon as theyget married, they become her family. The way I see it, she has just 2 options . . . learn to love them or end it now! |
| Re: She Can't Stand His Family,what should she do? by Nobody: 2:27pm On Dec 18, 2013 |
| Re: She Can't Stand His Family,what should she do? by Kanwulia: 2:36pm On Dec 18, 2013 |
It is better to be respected than loved. The only thing she owes the family members is respect! If she cannot practice that, she becomes A MATRIMONIAL FAILURE!!!  She does not have to LOVE OR LIKE THEM and vice versa! In marriage, you LEARN to be the greatest AMBASSADOR, DIPLOMAT, PSYCHOLOGIST AND POLITICIAN. All the above DO NOT REQUIRE BEING LIKED OR LOVED!!!! The world does not revolve around "her royal highness'! She needs to grow up! 2 Likes |
| Re: She Can't Stand His Family,what should she do? by Tachere: 3:01pm On Dec 18, 2013 |
This person is nt serious o. U dated someone for five years and u hv nt come to terms with his family? U dnt hv any biz in dt xtnship. Before we cn hlp u, we nid 2 kw y u dnt lik ur inlaws. Shikena. |
| Re: She Can't Stand His Family,what should she do? by onegig(m): 3:56pm On Dec 18, 2013 |
Kanwulia: It is better to be respected than loved. The only thing she owes the family members is respect! If she cannot practice that, she becomes A MATRIMONIAL FAILURE!!!Never knew such a day would come. But i guess, suprises do happen. 1 Like |
| Re: She Can't Stand His Family,what should she do? by Nobody: 4:23pm On Dec 18, 2013 |
onegig: Never knew such a day would come. It means you've haven't paid enough attention. She often makes a ton of sense in the midst of her craze and is actually a nice, sensitive person. She needs Jesus!  But, she's really cool people. 1 Like |
| Re: She Can't Stand His Family,what should she do? by Kanwulia: 6:06pm On Dec 18, 2013 |
Amen!!!! |
| Re: She Can't Stand His Family,what should she do? by Nobody: 6:17pm On Dec 18, 2013 |
Onegig, u never really know kanwulia. Ile just said it, her posts r one of the posts I look forward to reading cos its very matured, blunt and straight to the point. The kind of posts that will still make u ponder the next day after reading them. The rest is just for fun. Her own way. 1 Like |
| Re: She Can't Stand His Family,what should she do? by taryour(f): 6:49pm On Dec 18, 2013 |
Op its better you start searching for a guy whom you can stand his family. But wait a minute what exactly did his family do to you Hmm I can imagine how hurt that guy must feel when he finds out you can't stand his family. |
| Re: She Can't Stand His Family,what should she do? by SisiKill1: 7:00pm On Dec 18, 2013 |
How does one stick to a relationship that won't "amount to nothing" for 5 years?!! I think it is safe to say your friend is the one with the issue here and sooner she sought help for it the better (for her). |
| Re: She Can't Stand His Family,what should she do? by baralatie(m): 9:35pm On Dec 18, 2013 |
Kanwulia: It is better to be respected than loved. The only thing she owes the family members is respect! If she cannot practice that, she becomes A MATRIMONIAL FAILURE!!!and it is this tinking dat makes some women to be called al sorts! |
| Re: She Can't Stand His Family,what should she do? by bellong: 9:46pm On Dec 18, 2013 |
baralatie: What is wrong with her submission? 1 Like |
| Re: She Can't Stand His Family,what should she do? by Kanwulia: 11:04pm On Dec 18, 2013 |
baralatie: You can't please everybody abi? |
| Re: She Can't Stand His Family,what should she do? by Nobody: 12:28am On Dec 19, 2013 |
she has a built-in hatred for his family,her marriage wont work out well,its better she dumps her resentment for the guy's family,or ready to face the music,which wont help her in the long run.... |
| Re: She Can't Stand His Family,what should she do? by Nobody: 12:33am On Dec 19, 2013 |
onegig: Never knew such a day would come. Trust me, she's one of the most sensible posters on here! Maybe she doesn't say it the way other people say it but she makes a lot of sense. I actually respect her a lot! Just remove all form of bias from ur mind when reading her posts and u'll get the message. There are times when u got to scratch head when reading her posts sha oo  1 Like |
| Re: She Can't Stand His Family,what should she do? by jeffizy(m): 7:07am On Dec 19, 2013 |
byvan: Jeffizy why can't a new couple go far without extended family,can you elaborate on that statement?Got this late. I didn't mean a new couple can't survive without the extended family. In fact it's best if they stand alone. But the 'undue' interference is what they can hardly avoid. They may try, but the family tries harder to get involved. Maybe I should re-phrase the earlier post. |
| Re: She Can't Stand His Family,what should she do? by onegig(m): 4:20pm On Dec 19, 2013 |
alutacontinua:I would from now on. I usually gloss over posts with all caps on and she' s fond of using that and she sometimes comes out very agressive . |
| Re: She Can't Stand His Family,what should she do? by bluuu: 4:58pm On Dec 19, 2013 |
^^ i usually dont read kanwulia's posts till i saw this thread.is she married cos the way she writes is soo cr..asy |
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