Hi everybody,
Is the above true or a sign of disaster waiting to happen?
If its true, is it healthy?
False, does it lead to abuse?

Can we interact pls.

To start with, let us define love and obsession.

According to Merriam-webster dictionary, Obsession can be defined as follows

1. : a state in which someone thinks about someone or something constantly or frequently especially in a way that is not normal

2. a persistent disturbing preoccupation with an often unreasonable idea or feeling.

Love on the other hand according to the usage is defined thus

1. a (1) : strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties <maternal love for a child> (2) : attraction based on sexual desire : affection and tenderness felt by lovers (3) : affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests <love for his old schoolmates>

2. warm attachment, enthusiasm, or devotion <love of the sea>

3. a : unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another: as (1) : the fatherly concern of God for humankind (2) : brotherly concern for others

Comparing the two words, Obsession has often unreasonable attached to it. Hence, it can make the obsessed to do what is not right. In this case, obsession is not love but infatuation and lust.

Mr B, I gat u but what happens to the phrase" I think he/she is obsessed with me. Literally meaning I think he lvs me so much to most people and also how is it an infatuation?

No,no,no.Obsession is not tantamount to love.it's a different level.Obsession wt anythin is not safe,much more human.In such state,rational thinkin is relegated for their id callings,caution is thrown to d winds. In extreme cases life is lost. love on d other hand is gentle and knows when to let go. Infact,i think obsession depending on d object is a mental misnomer and d sufferer shld visit d psychologist.

it is not love and it leads to sth else with time.wen d guy/gal does not get wat they want,they can hurt people or revenge.obsession is not love

NO.

Ok, no is the answer.
Very good.

My next kweshion is this;

How do u know that u r in a relationship with somebody who is obsessed with u?
How can u make ur escape?

@OP, in response to your question: No, obsession is not a sign of love in a relationship.

And yes, it can lead to abuse. It starts with the obsessive partner wanting to control the movement, activities and even the life of their spouse and this manifests itself by the obsessive person always wanting to know exactly where their partner is, who they're with and why. The partner on the receiving end gets bombarded with a zillion text messages a day, endless phone calls, emails, and so on.

When the partner realises what's up and tries to break the cycle of control, the obsessive spouse usually kicks against it and things can then get nasty as it's notched up from psychological, non-physical abuse to actual physical abusive.

If you're in such a relationship, do yourself a favour and break from it (not going to be easy), before it's too late.

Efe, no be me o abeg!

I received a message this morning from an old friend way back in uni.
Said she has met her ideal man, blablabla and he is so in lv with her, infact I think he is obsessed with me was the last sentence.
I don't even know whether to tell her congrats or not. Yet to reply and I intnd calling her but I'm not comfy with that so I'm asking if its sign of lv.

Tufiakwa to obsessive love. Not for me,I believe its very unhealthy. Love is a free bird-let it fly and if its yours,it will surely fly back to you.

Like plants,lovers needs some air,some space for the love to flourish. Once there's suffocation,the plant will choke ,wither then die.

yellowpawpaw: Efe, no be me o abeg!

I received a message this morning from an old friend way back in uni.
Said she has met her ideal man, blablabla and he is so in lv with her, infact I think he is obsessed with me was the last sentence.
I don't even know whether to tell her congrats or not. Yet to reply and I intnd calling her but I'm not comfy with that so I'm asking if its sign of lv.

Lol! Didn't even look at the name of the poster.

Yes, Obsession can never be a sign of love. Obsession in itself is an illness where the obsessive person acts / performs in a manner that is over and above normal, and is excessive.

She should run for her life.

ifyalways: Tufiakwa to obsessive love. Not for me,I believe its very unhealthy. Love is a free bird-let it fly and if its yours,it will surely fly back to you.

Like plants,lovers needs some air,some space for the love to flourish. Once there's suffocation,the plant will choke ,wither then die.

Well said, Ify.

Bikonu, abeg, wetin I go tell this lady na?
I don crack my brain tire.
Una wan make I break person heart this christmas?
What will any of u do if u r in my shoe.
She is above 30 now.
Was jilted before. Engaged and while engaged the bobo went ahead and married another gal without breaking d engagement and given no reason. She almost died. Boned lv, now this.

yellowpawpaw: Mr B, I gat u but what happens to the phrase" I think he/she is obsessed with me. Literally meaning I think he lvs me so much to most people and also how is it an infatuation?

Depending on the understanding of the person making the statement. If the person made it with full understanding of the word obsession, she needs to run for her dear life. But if it was made with lack of understanding of what obsession means, she needs to be schooled about the true meaning.

yellowpawpaw: Bikonu, abeg, wetin I go tell this lady na?
I don crack my brain tire.
Una wan make I break person heart this christmas?
What will any of u do if u r in my shoe.
She is above 30 now.
Was jilted before. Engaged and while engaged the bobo went ahead and married another gal without breaking d engagement and given no reason. She almost died. Boned lv, now this.

C'mon YPP - the bolded part of your sentences are all wrong and definitely no justification for her to get into hot water. And I really do mean it - hot water.

It matters not that she's 30. Saying it like that sounds she's desperate to marry anything in trousers because she feels she's on the shelf. She shouldn't compromise her happiness or sell herself short because she thinks time's running out on her. It's better to be single and happy, than to be married and unhappy. Happiness defines the very essence of one's well-being and should never be compromised.

Secondly, it's better for her to suffer from a broken heart now, then from a broken spirit later - and believe me, an obsessive partner will most definitely chip away at her self-confidence and esteem just to gain control over her.

Obsession is not healthy,cos it could lead to harm,love do not cause harm.
Its better to leave such relationship before regret and harm sets in.

Obsession is not healthy or good,but their are people who think obsession is sign of true love.

YPP you should ask her what she understands by obsession, what she calls obsession may be harmless.

Ok o . Thanks everybody.
Will try my best.
But I know it won't go well.
I just dread this.

Yes,it is love taken too far.There's a thin line between love and obsession, by identifying and drawing this line shows maturity and experience.
Furthermore, Love borne out of selfishness always has a trace of obsession.

Anybody could have said the statement "he's obsessed with me"... that doesn't mean the guy is a potential abuser or lacks control of his emotions. Such feeling is usually present at the beginning of every relationship; where you call each other every hour and send uncountable text messages to each other.

I just feel it is cool and we should not start judging just yet. Their relationship is still at the honeymoon/butterflies stage which can be mistaken for obsession. let's not deny the poor lady the love that she deserves. Many of us have said those words too.

Interesting turn.
And I don de prepare my speech since for my mind.
That means I will go ahead and congratulate her very well then?
Maybe ask about d guy somehow?

yellowpawpaw: Interesting turn.
And I don de prepare my speech since for my mind.
That means I will go ahead and congratulate her very well then?
Maybe ask about d guy somehow?

Honestly, I think she just used a wrong word. English is not our first language and often times we unintentionally say things we don't mean. I think all she was trying to say was he loves me so much. I only hope this is not infatuation as it is usually short lived.

I think you should just congratulate her and just ask a few questions about the guy. We know obsession is not good and I doubt she would use that word and be all excited if she really knew the meaning!

let me see

.

hmmm

yellowpawpaw: Hi everybody,
Is the above true or a sign of disaster waiting to happen?
If its true, is it healthy?
False, does it lead to abuse?

Can we interact pls.

You posted this because of this thread.
https://www.nairaland.com/1558990/need-wife-get-married-2014
Na wa o.You people are now using frontpage to fight like journalist fighting in newspaper.

we re talking about open letter, u re here talking about obsession.

how dose that solve the problem btw obj vs gej vs iyabo vs vanguard

Mtchew! I even think say na OBJ and IYABO....

Anyway, no idea

I Need an advice ma fellow Nairalanders... Am currently in Dubai but ma Girlfriend is in Nigeria...yea i dnt fail to send her money for her needs...jst now,she called and was demanding some amount of money...saying she needs it TO BUY SEXY GOWN FOR CHRISTMAS FLEXING....n then i hang up the phone to ask,was the state of Nigerian girl's on Sexy gown cus i have left Nigeria for dubai for over 1yr nw. ...and that actual word SEXY GOWN jst got me insecured....

wow signs of good things to come.....guys i made frontpage i dey feel lyk APC member now chai this season is realy going to be fun...where are they now? i mean where are them? those that always come before me here...now look at me..my time has finally riped see guys whatever you do in life never lose hope,cos u will surely make it in this life MY DECEMBER TO REMEMBER IS NOW>>>URS IS NEXT IN LINE>>>AFTER ME

wetin concern love concern obsession?

It isn't because it is mostly driven by lust and jealousy, and that can't really be a 'healthy' love..... Obsession is also driven by suspicion, hence it can't be a sign of love due to the aforementioned reasons.


If you are both fond of each other, then that's love or a sign of love. When my gf goes out, I can't just wait till she comes back because I miss her company, then that is genuine love.

There is a difference, I'm not worried about who she might be seeing whilst out but just missing her and want her to come home, so that we recreate the moment we had last night.

Hmmmmmmm