alutacontinua: Is there no law against polygamy in the western world again?

Abeg, una shld explain to bush gal lyk me oo

Anyways, i don spread mat for here!

baralatie: .1st relax and consider ur health.
A living cow is beta than a dead lion!

solomon111: Chai,Naija men.
We no dey try at all.

wifee: First of all, please don't call me mad. I am not the jealous type at all.

Well let me tell you my story: I am a Swiss married to an Igbo man since 3 years, we met almost ten years ago and my husband already had residence permit when he married. I love my husband with everything I am, I try everything to be a good wife. This year we got our first child, a wonderful baby boy. We've been to Nigeria several times, also in the village and we are actually planning to go and live there when I finished my training here.

Since I got pregnant my husband showed no interest again in touching me. Even before then he stopped sleeping in our bed.

When I was pregnant he often went out to make phone calls in his car, giving different excuses, sometimes he stayed there till 4 AM! I found out he was talking to a girl and the mother. I also found out my husband was trying to have telephone sex with her, but since she is a christian she refused. (He still had telephone sex with other girls, telling them to use their hand on themselves, thinking I didnt hear the Igbo..) So there was a day the girl called and asked where they will stay. He told her either here in Switzerland or in London. He also told her I wouldnt kill her. I asked him why I told her so, he just said because they are spending time on telephone.. which is a stupid excuse. I told him about my fear. His answer was : " since we know you've been fearing that, have I married another woman?" (So, he didnt say no..)

What also raises my fear: He always says to marry a white is stupid. He praises his friends who married in Nigeria while beeing married here. He once said, court marriage was not important, what counts was traditional marriage (we married in Nigeria but only court marriage). He likes to joke about marrying two more wifes. The other day I told him that was the only reason Id leave him. Later that evening he was joking about it to somebody.. There was a day I received an Email (my husband doesnt have his own email account) saying that his wife could come and look at one duplex. I told my husband and he was quick to call a girl to call that man before I called him to ask what that was all about. He used to speak hours to her on telephone and as well to his mother. She wrote also text messages that she misses him and no morning and evening passes without my husband getting SMS since about 8 months. ( I dont check his SMS because women could also use it to bring trouble, so an SMS wouldnt help me with truth...The one I told you about it was my husband telling me to read, when he was driving)

Also he keeps on telling people he spend 800'000 Naira on "that girl", which I dont know about. We were thining of bringing a girl here to take care of our boy and since one girl was unfriendly he told me about another girl, who has the same Igbo name like the other one... and later he asked again, why not her. (eventhough he complained about her before. Remember this is about taking car of our child, there shouldnt be any small problem with that person and there are millions offering to come here on behalf of that...)

So, this time around I know that some people went to the neighbouring state (the same state that girl came from) and that something is happening on Sunday. I heard my husband speaking to a girl on telephone telling her that he never saw people having to bring 33 of malt and Stout for wedding, but that her father told him so many, many times. He also said he was sorry, they had to bring a goat, but that if they are married and stay for long and she dies after a long life and many children they would bring a goat to her village for the burial.

So I asked my husbands niece what she was doing in that neighbouring state and she confirmed it was a wedding of a relation. I asked whether I know her and she answered I sould see her, when we come back.

We were thinking of bringing somebody here to take care of our boy while I am at work.

I cant stay with my husband if he marries another woman, I cant... I would do everything for him, really everything...

Please help me! This topic has been bothering me but it becomes a real emergency since it looks like the marriage is taking place on Sunday..I know people can marry traditionally without being there in person (one of our friends did so) What should I do against it? How will I find out the truth. If it is true, how can I stop it?

Please forgive me for mistrusting my husband, but all this secret phone calls and him no more being interested in touching me(I am slim like before pregnancy), him not answering me when I tell him I love him and the time he spends on telephone with one girl and the mother... He used to talk to girls and I didn't bother him, because I dont want to be the annoying wife, he used to send different girls money for school and I didn't stop him because of the same reason.

I am helpless and I dont want to start confronting people in Nigeria, because if it was not true it would make him look stupid... Also I cant speak to any friends here, because they'd only tell me to divorce my husband...

wifee: Id love to cook for my husband but he is being so complicated anytime I cooked for him and didnt even taste it..For example I prepared MMoimoiwhich took me very long and he didnt try it...
Somehow I dont have the power to control him..Anytime I confront him he either gives a stupid excuse which makes me look silly or gets mad at me..
There was a time I saw picture of naked women on his camera and confronted him.Eventually I ended up begging him for peace! So there was a time I found a condom and apacket of condoms in his lugagge.What I did was to write a little note and put a picture of myself telling him I love him..Hoping hed stop everything when remembering it would hurt him.I didnt want to take away the condom because I was afraid he might do something without which would b worse..
How can I have astrong hand on him and how will I confront him with my fear. How could such marriage b stopped? Is there a way back after such traditional marriage?
I am afraid of trouble because I saw my husband dying 3 times and I am too afraid of something happening to him and we are not in peace.
Why accepting that culture? He is not even honest with me if he actually wants to marry...?

wifee: Had an idea..Will tell my husband I had a nightmare of him marrying another woman..the father of the woman demanded a lot as dowry..Then Ill tell him that I left him.Later on he called me to tell me his wife was treating him bad and he wanted to come back. Some days later I heard something bad happened to him...
After Ill ask him to promiss me he'd never marry a second wife...
I wish that could change his mind/hope it can stop things before its too late..Guess I am lost already...
Off course I am praying as well! I cant imagine that my dream come true with the husband I love and our wonderfull little baby could end here...

mickyarams: There is a saying in Europe, "Never trust a Nigerian". I am a Nigerian myself and unfortunately that's the sad truth.

Baby mama:

This woman has certainly gone bananas
You are now wayyyy out there
Insanity is knocking on your doors
Please how old are you
I can't believe an adult with a baby to care for is writing this
You now want to resort to lies and fabrications and scare tactics
All that to keep the type of low life scum bag you described
Unbelievable!

I am Igbo
We don't eat toads
Igbos have a proverb that if one must eat a toad ,Let him find and eat a very juicy one so that if he is called a toad eater,he can boast of how juicy it was and answer confidently.

Not only are you eating a toad but You are eating a very anemic toad,a toad with kwashiorkor
" Nuff said

Cele-pope:
This my igbo brothers dey really spoil show for person.That's how my wife a Jamaican confronted me last week asking me if that's how all igbo men behave?That they always want to marry someone from the village irrespective of them having a wife abroad.This woman put one kind yeye fear for my mind.She threatened dealing with me if I try such.I simply asked her who told her those crap?she said her colleague at work had same experience from an igbo guy who dumped her after investing her love and money on him.She also told her a lot of stories involving igbo guys in the US who are fund of doing this to their foreign wife.I simply told her every man is different and as for her treat she should save it for herself cause if I want to leave her there is nothing she can do.cause I never signed a contract somewhere about that.This is someone we dated for a year and married now for 6 months.

jennykadry: Is this OP for real? May amu onye ojii not make you kill yourself

wifee: Had an idea..Will tell my husband I had a nightmare of him marrying another woman..the father of the woman demanded a lot as dowry..Then Ill tell him that I left him.Later on he called me to tell me his wife was treating him bad and he wanted to come back. Some days later I heard something bad happened to him...
After Ill ask him to promiss me he'd never marry a second wife...
I wish that could change his mind/hope it can stop things before its too late..Guess I am lost already...
Off course I am praying as well! I cant imagine that my dream come true with the husband I love and our wonderfull little baby could end here...

jennykadry:

Naaa that won't work....a typical Igbo man fall for that lie? You must think you are intelligent right now.

My advise is secure your future financially because that man will leave you. You married someone else's man. He ain't yours darling, he was never yours

Baby mama:

I am wondering if it is the size of his blokoss that is keeping her
There is a bigger man out there in case she doesn't know
Statistics says Congolese men are bigger than Nigerians and those their makosa hips na helele
Make She try go central Africa if amu is the issue
See as woman wan comot cloth enter market because of amu

Baby mama:

My father will say
"A na acho ihe na aka Onye n'acho ihe"

Hahahaha

Imagine Trying to use Okoro sense on an Okoro?

PrettySpicey: The crazy thing here is that you suspected he was being unfaithful and you ignored it. Matter of fact you don't mind if he is unfaithful, so long as he doesn't take a second wife, right?
Dear wifee, therein lies your problem.
Do stop whimpering and whining and have some backbone.
I don't get how women 'look the other way' with their husband playing hooky with outside chicks.
You may love that man, but you should love your son more and yourself too.
Face this. Speak up and Get him to tell you what the heck is going on!