Joel.:
look here, dont fear he won't dumb you just like that if you don't anything, but he might do that and only if he finally bring the girl he married to switzerland, sorry dear there will be problem. the main thing is that almost every african man like to marry back home. even if they have white woman over there. they feel that's is their route and what their families want, it's a tradition. but trust me i won't mind marrying any white woman and forgetting african forever, i guess everyone is different. just relax what will be will be. leave everything to nature. nature has is way you cannot change it. live your life like the air. you will be fine.

tonychristopher:


there is nothing to worry about....its a man nature to taste the wters but what u should always understand is to always pray...african men are always in charge women dont control them and the earlier the better you understand this...if an african man wants to marry another woman no body can stop him...thats his perogative...you should have studied his culture and ask yourself if you can stand other women that will emerge...note. african women dont divorce cos they cought a man with another woman..thats a flimsy reason for divorce and if you eventually divorce you have paved the way for another woman


this is one thing the western women have to grasp....by the way the bible didnt say thou shall not marry two women but the key is prayer paryer and parayers

Cele-pope:

Na wa...o.This my wife almost strong reach me but I pass am.Because of me she went to register on NL.I know.she might read this topic but I don't care.Jamo women get strong heart...o.She don learn pidgin by force.First she went to download a radio app which makes her tune in to Nigerian stations like wazobia fm.She don dey won learn igbo by force.But na there I take pass am.How a learner go take know language pass native speaker?But on a serious note sha how igbo brothers nor dey try.If I so wish to get another wife I will simply talk to my wife and tell her the reasons why we can't continue cause all marriage are not bound to last forever and then move on.I cant be a coward playing hide and seek because of another yeye woman for Naija.I am against polygamy.Instead I will divorce and move on that's if we have serious irreconcilable differences.

lokzie: @OP If you story is true,i hope your marriage will be redeemed. However, i think you are a Nigerian and your story is a fantasy. Though English isn't the first language of the Swiss, and though you have been associated with a Nigerian for 10yrs now, you made errors that most Swiss who speak English wouldn't (Swiss also make errors, so that isn't the issue but as a naija guy, i can smell 'our' English). check yourself out .... thinking I didnt hear the Igbo , you've been fearing that, have I married another woman? , ...praises his friends who married in Nigeria (from the context,it seems you didn't necessarily mean location of wedding but that their wives were Nigerians) .There are a lot more of these that suggest you aren't who you say you are, but i don't want to spend more time analyzing. Let us just reflect statement This topic has been bothering me but it becomes a real emergency....

rhames: To all non- Africans who are getting married to or are about to get married to Africans. I am of the opinion that you should study your husbands culture before saying I do. An African will always be an African,irrespective of his position in society or economic status. We take our culture more seriously than religion. And in some cases,most people use religion as excuse for wayward behavior. An African man can decide to take a second or third or even a fourth wife. If their is family influence in your marriage which is sacrosanct in African culture, you cannot escape its consequences.

To you my dear, please take heart and discuss the issues of your marriage with your husband. He might be afraid of losing custody of the child but summon every bit of courage to discuss this with him if you actually love him. In your own case, it is clear he married you to have a residence visa and stop gap for his sexual urges.

To all men of African origin who are not married. Always educate your would-be first wife about your intentions before you start a wedding proposal to another woman.

wifee: How do I make him realise that losing me is what he would regret? (I dont think the new wife marries him for love, but money and what he makes people believe about who he is here is far away from truth..in fact I am t one paying all the bills here...)

Baby mama:
I am wondering if it is the size of his blokoss that is keeping her
There is a bigger man out there in case she doesn't know
Statistics says Congolese men are bigger than Nigerians and those their makosa hips na helele
Make She try go central Africa if amu is the issue
See as woman wan comot cloth enter market because of amu

andromida: Op is not going to confront him she'll keep on being the scared woman until he finally leaves her. She knows her husband does not love her but she believes crumbs is better than no bread at all.

rhames: To all non- Africans who are getting married to or are about to get married to Africans. I am of the opinion that you should study your husbands culture before saying I do. An African will always be an African,irrespective of his position in society or economic status. We take our culture more seriously than religion. And in some cases,most people use religion as excuse for wayward behavior. An African man can decide to take a second or third or even a fourth wife. If their is family influence in your marriage which is sacrosanct in African culture, you cannot escape its consequences.

To you my dear, please take heart and discuss the issues of your marriage with your husband. He might be afraid of losing custody of the child but summon every bit of courage to discuss this with him if you actually love him. In your own case, it is clear he married you to have a residence visa and stop gap for his sexual urges.

To all men of African origin who are not married. Always educate your would-be first wife about your intentions before you start a wedding proposal to another woman.

kundi90: It is all a lie joor! Same as some other stories on this site. I am suspecting the site owner for these cooked up stories.Trust me.

obyrich: Something tells me this lady is telling lies! He had his permit before meeting you. Yet you pay ALL the bills. Please balance your report so you can get a constructive advice. I know many Igbos who married white women and are okay with them. One such lady is in my village now while her hubby is abroad. No Igbo can joke with a woman who adds value to his life. Tell us if you forced yourself on him. I'm pretty sure his own story will be different from yours and plausible too.

duni04: OMG! U spent ur life savings building a house 4 him in Nigeria? And he's treating u like this? Sounds like a scam marriage 2 me. He's done everything to tell u, apart 4rm saying it to ur face, that he doesn't want u again. And I thought white women were smarter than this. A Nigerian woman wudnt let her man do half of the things uv described here. He knows ur weak and scared of leaving cos uv invested a lot in him (building a house 4 him in Nigeria with ur life savings!) and he's taking perfect advantage of this. He clearly doesn't luv or respect u anymore. He even has d audacity to tell u about taking anoda wife! Mayb u shud listen 2 ur real friends and do what u have to do and dump his azz. Make sure u milk d hell out of him 4 child support. And omg! U pay all d bills?

wifee: First of all, please don't call me mad. I am not the jealous type at all.

Well let me tell you my story: I am a Swiss married to an Igbo man since 3 years, we met almost ten years ago and my husband already had residence permit when he married. I love my husband with everything I am, I try everything to be a good wife. This year we got our first child, a wonderful baby boy. We've been to Nigeria several times, also in the village and we are actually planning to go and live there when I finished my training here.

Since I got pregnant my husband showed no interest again in touching me. Even before then he stopped sleeping in our bed.

When I was pregnant he often went out to make phone calls in his car, giving different excuses, sometimes he stayed there till 4 AM! I found out he was talking to a girl and the mother. I also found out my husband was trying to have telephone sex with her, but since she is a christian she refused. (He still had telephone sex with other girls, telling them to use their hand on themselves, thinking I didnt hear the Igbo..) So there was a day the girl called and asked where they will stay. He told her either here in Switzerland or in London. He also told her I wouldnt kill her. I asked him why I told her so, he just said because they are spending time on telephone.. which is a stupid excuse. I told him about my fear. His answer was : " since we know you've been fearing that, have I married another woman?" (So, he didnt say no..)

What also raises my fear: He always says to marry a white is stupid. He praises his friends who married in Nigeria while beeing married here. He once said, court marriage was not important, what counts was traditional marriage (we married in Nigeria but only court marriage). He likes to joke about marrying two more wifes. The other day I told him that was the only reason Id leave him. Later that evening he was joking about it to somebody.. There was a day I received an Email (my husband doesnt have his own email account) saying that his wife could come and look at one duplex. I told my husband and he was quick to call a girl to call that man before I called him to ask what that was all about. He used to speak hours to her on telephone and as well to his mother. She wrote also text messages that she misses him and no morning and evening passes without my husband getting SMS since about 8 months. ( I dont check his SMS because women could also use it to bring trouble, so an SMS wouldnt help me with truth...The one I told you about it was my husband telling me to read, when he was driving)

Also he keeps on telling people he spend 800'000 Naira on "that girl", which I dont know about. We were thining of bringing a girl here to take care of our boy and since one girl was unfriendly he told me about another girl, who has the same Igbo name like the other one... and later he asked again, why not her. (eventhough he complained about her before. Remember this is about taking car of our child, there shouldnt be any small problem with that person and there are millions offering to come here on behalf of that...)

So, this time around I know that some people went to the neighbouring state (the same state that girl came from) and that something is happening on Sunday. I heard my husband speaking to a girl on telephone telling her that he never saw people having to bring 33 of malt and Stout for wedding, but that her father told him so many, many times. He also said he was sorry, they had to bring a goat, but that if they are married and stay for long and she dies after a long life and many children they would bring a goat to her village for the burial.

So I asked my husbands niece what she was doing in that neighbouring state and she confirmed it was a wedding of a relation. I asked whether I know her and she answered I sould see her, when we come back.

We were thinking of bringing somebody here to take care of our boy while I am at work.

I cant stay with my husband if he marries another woman, I cant... I would do everything for him, really everything...

Please help me! This topic has been bothering me but it becomes a real emergency since it looks like the marriage is taking place on Sunday..I know people can marry traditionally without being there in person (one of our friends did so) What should I do against it? How will I find out the truth. If it is true, how can I stop it?

Please forgive me for mistrusting my husband, but all this secret phone calls and him no more being interested in touching me(I am slim like before pregnancy), him not answering me when I tell him I love him and the time he spends on telephone with one girl and the mother... He used to talk to girls and I didn't bother him, because I dont want to be the annoying wife, he used to send different girls money for school and I didn't stop him because of the same reason.

I am helpless and I dont want to start confronting people in Nigeria, because if it was not true it would make him look stupid... Also I cant speak to any friends here, because they'd only tell me to divorce my husband...

mgbeketoto: You married an 'Ibo' man huhn?
So did I!

Please, relax! It is the culture. If it does not suit you, leave.

Simple!

wifee: Id love to cook for my husband but he is being so complicated anytime I cooked for him and didnt even taste it..For example I prepared MMoimoiwhich took me very long and he didnt try it...
Somehow I dont have the power to control him..Anytime I confront him he either gives a stupid excuse which makes me look silly or gets mad at me..
There was a time I saw picture of naked women on his camera and confronted him.Eventually I ended up begging him for peace! So there was a time I found a condom and apacket of condoms in his lugagge.What I did was to write a little note and put a picture of myself telling him I love him..Hoping hed stop everything when remembering it would hurt him.I didnt want to take away the condom because I was afraid he might do something without which would b worse..
How can I have astrong hand on him and how will I confront him with my fear. How could such marriage b stopped? Is there a way back after such traditional marriage?
I am afraid of trouble because I saw my husband dying 3 times and I am too afraid of something happening to him and we are not in peace.
Why accepting that culture? He is not even honest with me if he actually wants to marry...?