bisiopinion:


I meant temperament i.e. melancholic, phlegmatic, sanguine, etc...I wasn't referring to the author of the post but rather the scenario he wrote about.

feminists are people, both men and women might I add, who seek for better equality between the genders. You cannot generalise and say all feminists are angry. However, a feminists goes about spreading that message is based on their own experiences, ideology, etc...

Plus there are different strands of feminism and I refuse to believe that feminists hate men. Both men and women can co-exist, balance is required in this world.

Your lecturer is another person, who has a personality, it doesn't necessarily have to be a reflection of her views. Plus your friend might have just have handed in poorly written assignment, it might not have been personal.

Based on your response, I suggest you take some time and research feminism.

njokusboy:

Lolzz, I didn't say you are a feminist.... But you said the case that was stated by the other dude was a temper problem and I was trying to point out that feminists do have temper problems...
Safari for instance, she is very angry, whoever she marries must bend to her will or bust... She would just divorce him without considering the children or worse still, roast his balls...
I know of one sociology feminist lecturer lyk dat, she goes around campus spreading her epistle of hate, telling young girls to stand up and fight for their right, that they should ensure their future husband lounges in the kitchen, she is currently divorced, she gave my friend a D7 because he disagreed with her in class.. You see, they do have anger problems..

safarigirl: @koyes and bukatyne, ladies, why are you wasting such rare intelligence on Neanderthals like warrior and crew? Please do yourselves a lot of good and ignore them, let them be the problems of whichever unfortunate women who answer their last names

I repeat, there are over 2 billion men on earth, you will find one who loves you flaws and all

Strong women like Michelle Obama, Beyonce, Nse-Ikpe Tim and Stephanie Okereke have found men that support them for who they are and encourage them to do more, why won't you find yours?

safarigirl: I'm angry?

You're just scared of losing your position of power, you're scared Nigerian women are starting to see the light and one day they won't need you to feel important or to have a sense of self-worth.

Lord, you chauvinists are something else

njokusboy:

Scared of what... I aint scared of jacksh1t, aggressive women don't bother me, I don't even care about them, I pretend they don't exist but they also know better than to bring their "hot head" close to me...
That a lady doesn't spit fire and turn the house upside down doesn't mean she has no self worth... Only people who have low self esteem think they always have a point to prove...

njokusboy:

Lolzz, you think michelle obama got to where she is by always opposing obama? My friend wake up...don't lemme tell you stephanies story, u don't wanna go through such plus she is a celebrity while u re nobody.... You go grow old...
I hope u find the puppet of your dream so you can dictate to him, if u don't, u can always divorce, u re afterall comfortable with that...

warrior101: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Belly dey pain mem brodaly see as this woman work on you. Talk truth, won't you have beaten this kind of a woman to prove it in a different way? I watched a movie a lady was being flogged and stoned to death while some warriors was passing by and they came down from their hourses killed all the men and instead of the lady to thank them and started fighting them. One angry man slit her throat open. Ther ring leader said why did you have to do that, it hasn't gotten to that and he replied, "she's a bitch" and walked away angrily. Its the same story for feminists...

njokusboy:

Scared of what... I aint scared of jacksh1t, aggressive women don't bother me, I don't even care about them, I pretend they don't exist but they also know better than to bring their "hot head" close to me...
That a lady doesn't spit fire and turn the house upside down doesn't mean she has no self worth... Only people who have low self esteem think they always have a point to prove...

njokusboy:

Scared of what... I aint scared of jacksh1t, aggressive women don't bother me, I don't even care about them, I pretend they don't exist but they also know better than to bring their "hot head" close to me...
That a lady doesn't spit fire and turn the house upside down doesn't mean she has no self worth... Only people who have low self esteem think they always have a point to prove...

Ngokafor: Interesting thread...first of all,i think the op wrote this piece from his perception of women in America,whose overall attitude in relation to men is different from the way women are here.Women in this part of the world has done and is doing their fair share of the humility/submissive ish so how much more subservient do you guys mouthing off endlessly here want them to be huh??...you want them to roll over and die or what??.. I just dont get where all these whining,complaining and nagging are coming from honestly.



....... Secondly,its a lot easeir for women to submit to a partner who treats them with love and respect as well than an irresponsible brute who spends the better part of his life feeling that the world should continually bow down at his feet cos he is male.It just does not work that way sorry.One good turn deserves another,you shouldnt expect love and respect if you as a guy is badly behaved with no iota of respect is in your bone...i don talk my own..

Ngokafor: Interesting thread...first of all,i think the op wrote this piece from his perception of women in America,whose overall attitude in relation to men is different from the way women are here.Women in this part of the world has done and is doing their fair share of the humility/submissive ish so how much more subservient do you guys mouthing off endlessly here want them to be huh??...you want them to roll over and die or what??.. I just dont get where all these whining,complaining and nagging are coming from honestly.



....... Secondly,its a lot easeir for women to submit to a partner who treats them with love and respect as well than an irresponsible brute who spends the better part of his life feeling that the world should continually bow down at his feet cos he is male.It just does not work that way sorry.One good turn deserves another,you shouldnt expect love and respect if you as a guy is badly behaved with no iota of respect what-so-ever in your bone...i don talk my own..

TDN:

ok o. what about aggressive men? i take it you walk away too. i dont know if its low self esteem or the fact that people are just people. if thats the case, fine. by the way im a feminist and extremely aggressive and im certain the man i will marry has to be cool headed not because i want to try and take advantage of him but i know he will teach me humility. everyone is capable of being both aggressive and cool headed. it takes the right partner to inspire and bring out the good traits in you. it takes a special kind of man to be with an aggressive woman and be happy with her. my mum used to say, we all cannot be sugar or else the world will lick us up.

bettermike: hmm...interesting. According to webstar dictionary, to dominate means to have control or power over something or someone. Now, i dint say real men dont dominate; i said real men dont dominate for dominating sakes. I also said you need not view domination negatively. Now if i re-phrase my statement, i mean real men dont control for controlling sakes. E.g. A real man knows he can control his wife but he does it with maturity. He doesnt abuse it. He knows when to assert his authority and when to adopt his wife's opinion. He doesnt stick to a decision because he can but because he feels its the proper thing to do for him and his family. Gerrit now?

bettermike: hmm...interesting. According to webstar dictionary, to dominate means to have control or power over something or someone. Now, i dint say real men dont dominate; i said real men dont dominate for dominating sakes. I also said you need not view domination negatively. Now if i re-phrase my statement, i mean real men dont control for controlling sakes. E.g. A real man knows he can control his wife but he does it with maturity. He doesnt abuse it. He knows when to assert his authority and when to adopt his wife's opinion. He doesnt stick to a decision because he can but because he feels its the proper thing to do for him and his family. Gerrit now?

koyes: You are using the word wrongly. A domineering person is the same as an authoritarian who never listens to his surbodinates because he feels he has the sole power and should suggest and make decisions even without the consent of his followers. This is not the quality of a good leader. A good leader knows that he does not have the sole power and that his followers have the right to make suggestions for the benefit of the group before the leader makes a decision. Can an authoritative or domineering person be a good leader?NO! So how can a domineering man be better?

TDN:

ok o. what about aggressive men? i take it you walk away too. i dont know if its low self esteem or the fact that people are just people. if thats the case, fine. by the way im a feminist and extremely aggressive and im certain the man i will marry has to be cool headed not because i want to try and take advantage of him but i know he will teach me humility. everyone is capable of being both aggressive and cool headed. it takes the right partner to inspire and bring out the good traits in you. it takes a special kind of man to be with an aggressive woman and be happy with her. my mum used to say, we all cannot be sugar or else the world will lick us up.

warrior101: Doesn't change anything. A girl like sarafigirl got her own matching stud out there and when she finds him she'd be attracted to him... This makes feminism useless cuz no matter the category of woman there is always a counter man... And she will be humble to him.

Woman is still woman and man is man. One leads and the other follows.

TDN:

guys stop walking away. take it as a challenge. like taming the shrew.

y-fo:
arrrgh!, I missed the party and I so love this kinda thread

Anyways, seems people like to generalise and that causes a lot of confusion.
Ladies have different personalities they are born with and if you want all of them to have a high degree of humility -then you're on a long thing- cuz ladies like safari have a "natural fire" in their belly and trying to change her into a model meek girl is equivilent to changing her very essense which is almost impossible and definately not the right thing to do.

You might say our "fore-mothers" used to be generally meek and that would be some-what correct though I do not have empirical proof, but that was as a result of social training from when they were young and thus they could better change their "default settings/personalities"...this is next to impossible in our current day and age and so is not a viable option.

Also, there are extremists in any ideology so people should quit using the bad eggs to cast a shadow upon the whole group...the fact that we have nigerian males that wanna "lord" it over the females and generally view females as an inferior specie doesn't mean that most of us are like that (safari, that your 80% estimate get k-leg o )
Also, on the feminist side..we have some who want to wipe out the male existence and some guys attribute that to the whole ideology itself which shouldn't be.

Now unto the koko of the matter, humility should be found more in females (also has to be in the males...) just as decisiveness should be found more in males. This I think is the major input from the OP that people still can't comprehend, it doesn't mean it has to be in every issue where these traits have to show forth but in the major areas of family life.

I feel a man that puts his foot down in every issue no matter how trivial would soon lose respect from his wife....same way, a meek lady with hardly any input to a man would soon become nothing other than a glorified housewife.


Last bullet:
I want a lady that would not only fight for me but also with me so I can get better...but still accord me my respect as leader and protector if I'm playing my role's responsibilities.

TDN:

guys stop walking away. take it as a challenge. like taming the shrew.

warrior101: The man you marry would be seen to be a whimp by the society and a victim of bully... You can never think or act like a man. He's a coward and that's what has attracted him to you because its a mugu you will be comfortable with as your subject...

That's how we men see him. But I guess its how you see him that matters most. Right?

y-fo:


Feminism isn't the same as rioting against men and the generalisation is what I'm against...feminism in some aspects isn't useless at all and I wish you would take your time to find out their useful aims.



where is wuzietan when you need her

y-fo:


Feminism isn't the same as rioting against men and the generalisation is what I'm against...feminism in some aspects isn't useless at all and I wish you would take your time to find out their useful aims.



where is wuzietan when you need her

TDN:

WIMP? he is considered that cos he is cool headed?
COWARD? cos he decided to marry an aggressive lady. actually it takes a lot of guts to be with someone like me.
MUGU?cos he doesnt need to oppress me to validate his masculinity?

where is Bully coming from? strong words but i completely understand. any man that chooses to be with someone like me is a threat to a guy like you. the society made up of people like you. well im sorry to dissapoint you. im engaged to a great guy. he likes cooking. i can cook too. i always complain he is making me fat, so i insist on making meals, cos mine are healthier. he is very cool headed and is the best guy for me but im gonna say this, a wimp or coward he is not. so he treats me like an equal, you have no idea how much strength that takes.

there will always be those like you who will call him names but he is the strongest man i know cos no matter how aggressive i get, he just ignores me and i feel ashamed and calm down. i have never heard him raise his voice, not even once, but there is unimaginable power in silence. i jnow im a better person with him in my life and most importantly, i know thats the man i want to father my children.

yes, it only matters what he thinks about himself and what i think of him. i guess you are married or will be married to the society, since what they think is all you care about. its not by force, by all means, be with the type of woman you want. its your choice but dont bash men who end up with women like me cos you have no idea what they are enjoying. never judge a book by its cover cos with my aggression and views of the world, there are so many things he finds wonderful about me.

the strength of a woman is immeasurable and it baffles me when some men measure their strength by how the world perceives how they treat their women.

TDN:

WIMP? he is considered that cos he is cool headed?
COWARD? cos he decided to marry an aggressive lady. actually it takes a lot of guts to be with someone like me.
MUGU?cos he doesnt need to oppress me to validate his masculinity?

where is Bully coming from? strong words but i completely understand. any man that chooses to be with someone like me is a threat to a guy like you. the society made up of people like you. well im sorry to dissapoint you. im engaged to a great guy. he likes cooking. i can cook too. i always complain he is making me fat, so i insist on making meals, cos mine are healthier. he is very cool headed and is the best guy for me but im gonna say this, a wimp or coward he is not. so he treats me like an equal, you have no idea how much strength that takes.

there will always be those like you who will call him names but he is the strongest man i know cos no matter how aggressive i get, he just ignores me and i feel ashamed and calm down. i have never heard him raise his voice, not even once, but there is unimaginable power in silence. i jnow im a better person with him in my life and most importantly, i know thats the man i want to father my children.

yes, it only matters what he thinks about himself and what i think of him. i guess you are married or will be married to the society, since what they think is all you care about. its not by force, by all means, be with the type of woman you want. its your choice but dont bash men who end up with women like me cos you have no idea what they are enjoying. never judge a book by its cover cos with my aggression and views of the world, there are so many things he finds wonderful about me.

the strength of a woman is immeasurable and it baffles me when some men measure their strength by how the world perceives how they treat their women.

PocketEconomist: i love this post. Since my return to Nigeria, i've noticed that a lot of ladies are trained to be appendages to their men, that's why they are treated like shit most of the time. I cannot imagine coming home from work tired and a house wife would tell me *honey, be romantic by cooking us night food and cleaning up the kitchen* that would be recipe for SERIOUS trouble. Ladies respect yourself and no man would treat you like shit. OluJacobs and JokeSilva has been married for over 30 years, Joke is a strong, goal oriented woman, and ir happily married at the same time.

koyes: I just love it when i see or hear 21st century guys talk. I respect your kind alot. Your parents did a good job raising you.

koyes: We all have different personalities that directly influences our preference in life. People are not the same and cannot reason the same way. However,from what i observed on this thread,women who are educated and exude self confidence where ever they go have no business with domineering men cause they would always be confused as extreme feminists no matter how humble she is. There are respectful men who don't have a problem with such women. For the men with domineering traits,please look for your kind. Don't use your past experience and generalise all women cause that's irresponsible and learn not to be intimidated and make complaints when you hear or see a woman express her views. You'll get nothing out of it.