Double post

plainmirror: Ishilove abeg try and be moderate in U̶̲̥̅̊я critics....... Its somehow boring the envisaged fun and freeflow. This is entertainment for heaven sake. Or perhaps heed to obinnau's advice


Royver ride on

Please define 'moderate' in the context of this story. Also define 'criticism'. Now round it up with defining 'constructive criticism'. When you are done defining all of the above, you will understand that this story is not one of the brain deadening pulp fiction and uninspiring romance and sexu'ally themed stories that abounds here on Nairaland.

As for Obinnau's advice, it is for the derailers to heed.

We don't only come here for the story, we come also for the 'behind the scenes'

ishilove's post reeks of nothing but pure and unadulterated intelligence. u are obviously a good literary critic... oga royver,waiting tinz o.

Guy u too gud

Roy wer u dy na.........dnt knw wat 2 say,diz z simply superb

Princesa directed me here and I decided to read the story after reading Ishilove's criticism. I like what I read. As someone said, KIU.

Royver:

As usual, you are thorough in your criticisms. Actually for a moment I thot u had abandoned me as I didn't see ur inputs

Am going to tell you a story now, non fiction.
When I was doing my youth service in kwara state, 2004 to be exact, I came upon an article in the vanguard newspaper. A British trained African professor whose name escapes me now wrote an article I'm which he sited something to do with calabar history. I'm not a history student so pls forgive me not knowing the right terms but he described something like 'the calabar scrolls or tablets, or some historical calabar carving sha. It had some inscriptions on it and this professor xlaed he had deciphered the meaning. He said according to this, calabar was the citadel of old civilization before it was moved to Egypt. If you browse it you will see that the calabar kingdom spans thousands and thousands of years. He also stated that there was a great war in which ships were used to cross a sea that if plotted on a modern map is the same location as the sahara desert. That means the sahara was once a sea in the middle of Africa. He also says that there was a great uprising of the slaves then and they won the war. As punishment, they burned all the books that the wise men had and banished them to death if they were caught writing again. Apparently that's how Africa started passing word from mouth to mouth. It is interesting that Egypt is called the citadel of learning but calabar kingdom used documents before then.
[size=5pt](For those of you crushing on ishilove, no assassinate me oh! Na friendly peck/holy kiss o!)[/size]

@ Royver, I totally agree with you. Yes, the Sahara was once a sea in the middle of Africa. Also, there were written documents in Africa b4 the advent of Europeans. The issue of burning of history books once happened in old Kano Kingdom by some muslim clerics after the reign of Bayajidar. And you guys should know that the world oldest University is in Africa (University of Alkaraouine in Morrocco) were the then students of the Uni taught through the word of mouth? (Oral tradition) and books were also kept at the school library.

@Royver, kudos to u once again. STILL FOLLOWING........
@Ishilove, I luv your constructive criticism. keep it up ma

{".."}

Royver where at thou .......?

Sir, cum update we are patiently waitin for ur update...

JumaiM:

@ Royver, I totally agree with you. Yes, the Sahara was once a sea in the middle of Africa. Also, there were written documents in Africa b4 the advent of Europeans. The issue of burning of history books once happened in old Kano Kingdom by some muslim clerics after the reign of Bayajidar. And you guys should know that the world oldest University is in Africa (University of Alkaraouine in Morrocco) were the then students of the Uni taught through the word of mouth? (Oral tradition) and books were also kept at the school library.

@Royver, kudos to u once again. STILL FOLLOWING........
@Ishilove, I luv your constructive criticism. keep it up ma

Thanks ma.

Let me point something out. The bolded happened after the introduction Islam into the areas you have mentioned through the trans-saharan trade. With Islam came the use of Islamic texts and education. In Roy's story, the deccimation of the man-animals happened even before Islam came into Africa.

Ishilove:
Thanks ma.

Let me point something out. The bolded happened after the introduction Islam into the areas you have mentioned through the trans-saharan trade. With Islam came the use of Islamic texts and education. In Roy's story, the deccimation of the man-animals happened even before Islam came into Africa.

oh I see! Now I know. Thanks ma

And the second thing that happened was...


He stood there in the clearing, watching the live band play highlife music. The light was poor but that was what attracted the customers. Cigarette smoke wafted through the air and his nostrils flared for want of oxygen. He couldn't see the faces of people around clearly and he wondered why that was...

He saw the girl walk with the men to the car and knew she was in imminent danger. He tried running after her to stop her but the faster her ran, the slower he became and soon the car zoomed off with the girl as passenger.

His heart skipped a beat and a pain shot through his chest as if from a dagger. He saw her stagger out of the car and towards the clearing, crying, praying, and he tried to help but she didn't see him. He shouted for her to run but there was something wrong. She stumbled and fell and then he saw the thing come out of the car, sleek, calm, a confident killer. He shouted for help but his voice was not carried by the cold evening wind.
He thought of what to do, even as he watched the creature approaching her and licking its sharp pointy teeth. He saw her eyes begging for the junction, that party which she had just left, that place filled with people...

Suddenly he knew what to do. He willed himself back to the party. Everyone else was busy dancing and laughing but there was this man sitting alone at the corner, his table filled with half a dozen empty bottles of beer he had just conquered. He went up to the man and whispered in his ear.

"You need to pee."

His voice was so low, he doubted the man heard him but he persisted.

"You need to pee. Your bladder is full and about to burst. You need to pee. You need to pee. You need.."

The man burped and stood up and said to no one in particular

"Abeg I wan(hic) go piss(hic)..."

The drunk stumbled off and he followed him, whispering suggestions in his mind, willing him to go towards the girl. Finally they arrived at a convenient place and the man began to urinate. He watched as the creature grabbed its victim by the calf of her leg and began to drag her off. He hoped, prayed, willing the drunk to move forward but was unsuccessful. He had almost given up hope when the girl managed a little scream.

"Hey...HEY! What are you doing? Wetin be dat?" The drunk yelled, quickly hiding his private member. The drunk fiddled in his pocket and brought out a torch. When its beam of light fell on the beast the drunk let out a scream that was far more effective than the girl's own.

He watched as the crowd ran to the spot and the blue Camry zoomed off. She would survive, thank GOD.

He was in the blue Camry. The driver was apologizing to the beast and the beast was howling angrily. He tried to pick out what they were saying.

"Idi0t!"

"Look I said I was sorry! I shouldn't have let her out"

"Where do I get my next meal from now?"

"I could buy a goat for you tomo..."

"I HATE GOAT!"

"okay, okay...maybe if we go to the other side of town..."

"Not tonight! It's already late. I can hold off till tomorrow. Maybe I can make a snack out of your other arm eh?"

No...please..."

Be quiet!!! Someone else is here..."

And the creature squinted its eyes, sniffed the air and looked at HIM.
He struggled to get out of the car but couldn't. The creature gazed in his direction for a moment then snarled and bared its fangs at him. He screamed and tore at whatever was holding him to the seat.

And then I woke up.

Ishilove:
Thanks ma.

Let me point something out. The bolded happened after the introduction Islam into the areas you have mentioned through the trans-saharan trade. With Islam came the use of Islamic texts and education. In Roy's story, the deccimation of the man-animals happened even before Islam came into Africa.

Google nsibidi.

naptu2:

Google nsibidi.

Hokay

Wow...Roy, your update gave me the shivers...

You keep getting better, Roy. Keep it up

I no fit shout this story is the boooooooomb.

welldone Mr Roy, more grease to ur elbow.

cool update but too short.
I've got some question though:
1. the beast said there someone here so who struggled to get out of the car, the 'someone else' or his partner?
2. i don't understand this part

The creature gazed in his direction for a
moment then snarled and bared its fangs at him.
He screamed and tore at whatever was holding
him to the seat.

Finally, I'm here.

Roy, keep doing this. You will shake strongholds.

Tanks 4 d update. Bt pls sir make ur updates a little bit longer dan dis; Dis one ws way too short

kayemjay: Finally, I'm here.

Roy, keep doing this. You will shake strongholds.

Oga kevin I don catch you here. Wetin you come do for another man's thread. I comment ma reserve

Sir ROYVER, your stories are no more of this world. Believe me when I say this. No comments again coz I really don't know what to say again

You never disappoint
I am really impressed!
This is something totally different from what we read on nairaland.

I also love Ishilove's contribution. She is doing a very good job. I can't believe she is a Science Teacher. Anyway, she is the other reason that brings me here. Her comments gives form to Rovver's story.

Wow

naptu2:

Google nsibidi.

If i may ask, what is Google nsibidi?

it means check google for NSIBIDI.

Roy keep it up.but dis last update looks lyk a repeatition to me.

And again,u didn't disappoint..Words can't begin to describe how good u are..Keep it up
Ishi too,more grease to ur elbow Ma.I'm actually learning a lot from ur constructive criticisms.

I dashed out of my room the next morning and went to knock on Jenny’s door.

“Just a minute,” her voice came muffled through the bullet proof door of the hotel room. I waited impatiently, tappinjg my black leather shoe clad feet on the floor. I had been this way since I woke up from my dream, from watching the creature almost take down another victim. All of a sudden I was involved; all of a sudden I had to see the end of this thing. People were dying and I felt a moral responsibility to solving the case. And since I had Jenny with me, someone who had supernatural powers as well, I hoped getting to the bottom of things would be a whole lot easier than if I was handling everything on my own. But first I needed to settle accounts with the reason I came here in the first place.

Why was this girl wasting so much time?

“Jenny? At least open the door and let me in” I pleaded.

I heard her feet tread softly on the posh rug in her room as she made towards the door. A click later and the door was thrown wide. She stood there, decorating the doorway like an ornament. Radiantly smiling, not a strand of hair out of place which was a miracle as it was still a little early on the morning. Even without make-up she looked glorious. She smiled that ubiquitous smile of hers and the world became a better place. The irritation I had begun to feel died down immediately. She was wrapped in a large white fluffy towel, the kind that came with the hotel. It was held firmly in place by her breast line and ended just above her knees. Her hair was covered in a smaller version of the same product. If I was a white man I would have been seen to be blushing furiously.

“What? You said I should open the door.” She said lazily.

“I had a bad dream.” I said.

Immediately her face became serious, almost anxious. “Chuks, I can expl…”

“I think the man-animal struck again last night,” I said. “In my dream I was there, at least I think I was the one there. He tried to feed on
another girl yesterday but failed and wasn’t too happy about it. Today he will attempt to feed again. I want us to formulate a plan on how to expose him, catch him if possible and make him stop taking innocent lives. But first I would like us to sort out what remains of the contract today if possible then we will have time to face this mystery. What the heck happened to your hands?!”

Her hands had been bandaged in some silky cloth and the areas that were visible appeared reddish as if scorched by fire. She looked down at them slowly and then back at me. “These? Oh, I turned on the hot water by mistake.”

“With both hands?” I asked.

She shrugged my question off. “It’ll heal. I have a special healing balm for it. Another few hours and my flesh will be as good as new. What made you suddenly want to play detective?”

“I have always wanted to use my gift to help people as much as possible. It seems there was more to it than you scheming that brought me to
Asaba at this time. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself knowing that maybe I could have done something to prevent the shedding of innocent blood.

“Not so innocent, if you ask me.” She muttered.

I frowned at her, “from what I understand, you have a stake in this as well. Don’t you want to stop the person that killed your ‘sister’?
She looked down at her feet for a while then seemed to make up her mind. “Alright. I’m in. Come inside let me have a shower and get dressed.”

“No thanks,” I said. “I’ll be waiting in the restaurant downstairs.

“Still fleeing?” she smiled.

I didn’t answer her and headed towards the restaurant as she gave a small laugh and went back into her room.