Dear Santa,
How are you doing? Hope you’re not too
stressed out from delivering gifts to almost
everyone’s doorstep (excluding mine).
I’m sure you’ve gotten a million and one
letters requesting for one Christmas gift or the
other. No! This isn’t one of those. I’m writing
this letter to ask for your hand in marriage.
Yes! Your hand in marriage. I’m sure you’re
surprised; I am too. But before I go on
professing my love for you, I’d like to ask a
few questions if you don’t mind (after all, I
should have enough information about who I
want to marry).
First of all, Nigerians call you ‘Father
Christmas’ so what’s your real name, surname
and other names? Did you go to any schools
and do you have degrees? How many are you
in your family and what number are you?
What State/Country are you from and where
do you currently reside? What are your
hobbies, best food, best colour, likes and
dislikes? Do you have any friends? If you do,
who are they? I really don’t want to know if
you’re married or not because I don’t mind
being number one or any other number.
People just collect gifts from you without
bothering to ask these: where do you get the
money to buy all these gifts? Or do you
manufacture them yourself? Do you deliver
these gifts by road, air, or water? Because you
deliver to all parts of the world.
I know it’s weird that I don’t know anything
about the person I want to marry. It’s not
totally my fault. I searched for you on Google
but I didn’t get answers to the above
questions. I’ve always heard and am still
hearing so many nice things about you (even
though I hear them only during Christmas).
They say you’re a cheerful giver; we’ll have a
symbiotic relationship “givers never lack. They
say you’re good with children; our children
wouldn’t grow up in a master-servant
environment. They also say your laughter
sounds like HOHOHOHOHO! That will keep
me falling in love with you over and over
again.
I know the man is supposed to propose to the
woman but hey! Our case is different; you’ll
never propose to me because you don’t know
me. I really don’t know how to express the
way I feel about you because I’ve never done
this before. When I was a little child, I used to
see you at parties. While other children were
scared of you, I wasn’t; I had a crush on you.
But now, when I crash a kiddies party (just to
see you), I just feel like taking you home to be
mine.
Will you marry me?
Oh! Wait a minute! I told you nothing about
myself. Well, your response to this will
determine if it’s necessary that I tell you about
me or not. I’ll stop here for now. I don’t even
know how to get this across to you. But I
know you’ll get it somehow since people’s
wishes get to you. Before I forget, I slipped a
ring into this envelope. I know it should have
come as a surprise but I don’t want the floor
to have a feel of it before you.
Thanks for reading.

Yours truly,
Morenike

Ok

Do people still believe on father Xmas, that's strange ? He never existed

Xmas is gone...... Move on with your life