AM A NEWLY WED .. BARELY 3 MONTHS .. BUT I HAVE A PROBLEM .. MY WIFE IS HOT TEMPERED AS IN REALLY HOT TEMPERED .. SHE GETS MAD OVER EVERY LITTLE THING .. I CANT GO INTO DETAILS BUT ITS NOT FUN... SHE HAS ALWAYS BIN LIKE THAT AND PLEADS WITH ME TO BE PATIENT AND TRY TO UNDERSTAND HER ...AND TO AN EXTENT I DO .. I HAVE KNOWN HER FOR FIVE YEARS AND WE DATED FOR OVER 8 MONTHS BEFORE WE TIED IT .. I TRY TO BE PATIENT WITH THE HOPE THAT ONCE SHE GETS PREGNANT AND HAS KIDS SHE WILL CALM DOWN .. BUT SHE HAS TAKEN IT TO A WHOLE NEW LEVEL.. NOW SHE GETS VIOLENT .. THE OTHER DAY SHE SLAMMED THE METAL TYPHOON FAN WITH HER HANDS .SHE EVEN CUT HER FINGERS IN THE PROCESS ... ONCE SHE THREATENED TO STAB ME SIMPLY BECAUSE SHE CALLED ME SEVERAL TIMES AT WORK AND I WAS TOO BUSY TO PICK HER CALL .. WE HAD A BIG FIGHT .. I WILL NEVER LAY MY HANDS ON HER .. I AM ONE YOU WILL CALL A LIBERAL ..I EVEN END UP MOST TIMES BEING THE PEACE MAKER.. YOU KNOW LADIES .. THEY KNOW HOW TO MAKE TO MAKE YOU BECOME THE GUILTY ONE .... TO MAKE MATTERS WORSE SHE WONT APOLOGIZE .. ..WHEN SHE DOES SHE DOES SO IN A SARCASTIC WAY..

I AM NOT PERFECT EITHER ... BUT I TRY TO ENSURE WE ARE ALWAYS AT PEACE COS WHEN SHE IS MAD AT ME ITS LIKE THE WORLD STANDS STILL AND I DNT CONCENTRATE ON ANYTHING UNTIL I SETTLE WITH HER . THE TRUTH IS AM GETTING TIRED OF WAITING FOR HER TO PASS THRU THIS PHASE ..

WHEN SHE IS NOT HAVING HER FITS OF INSANE MADNESS SHE IS REALLY LOVING AND A GOOD WIFE AND YES SHE WORKS TOO SO IT NOT BOREDOM .. I LOVE MY WIFE BUT I DNT KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH THIS .. I CANT INVOLVE THIRD PARTIES COS I HAVE NEVER BIN ONE TO LIKE THIRD PARTIES .. SO I TAKE IT AS MY CROSS.

BUT THESE DAYS I AM BEGINNING TO FIND OTHER LADIES ATTRACTIVE .. NOT BECOS I DNT LOVE HER BUT BECAUSE AM TIRED OF ALWAYS SETTLING FIGHTS ..I DONT WANT TO CHEAT ON MY WIFE ..BECAUSE I KNOW IL BECOME A MONSTER IF I CROSS THAT LINE .. AM AN EXTREMIST.. ONCE I SWITCH OFF THATS IT .. I NEED HELP AND PLEASE NO JOKES HERE THIS IS SERIOUS ..
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My dear, you better settle this problem before involving other girls. Try talking sense to her or separate for you both to clear your head.

If you involved other girls while with her, she can get really dangerous in as much as hurting the other girls to spit on you.
I have seen it happened, the violent wife stabbing a girl she suspected dating her husband in the presence of the husband. Police case etc.

You don't want that.

violence in relationships is not only from man 2 woman..it goes both ways..your wife needs psychiatric evaluation pronto.You have to talk 2 her 2 get help,her actions might be due 2 sm unresolvd events in her past in wch case it is a deepseated prob wch u cnt just hope would blow over..ppo with anger mgt issues most tyms cnt help demsevs without intervention.You hv 2 mk her understnd that 4d longevity n liveliness of your marriage,she has 2 get medical help b4 u bgin havin kids else she myt really stab u lot during 1 of her episodes.. #my2cents

All these local threats of becoming a monster sef..is that supposed to scare her?Someone wey put hand for fan?
You do realise that your wife could put you in a body bag at any moment due to her temper and you want to add chicks to the equation?You wan die?

Like it or not,your wife is dangerous and you both had better start seeking help ASAP.Psychologist/therapist anyone before she slices off your pee pee.
You are about to become a DV victim,it's just a matter of time.
At least she never hid her true self from you.

If all fails,try the red pant approach .Avoid things that cause her to be upset,pet her and above all,PRRRAAYYY.

Ol'boi This One Pass My Level O.

But OP, Is She Only Temperamental With You? You Didn't Give Instances Of Her Showdowns With Other People.

Dats mistake most ppl make marrying sm1 believing d person wl change..@op it has happened so u hav to live with it mayb u two can go visit a therapist ,show her love always assure her u are there 4 her shes d jealous type no doubt bt if it gets out of hand den u have to man up and tel her if she doesnt curtail dat attitude of hers dat u r gona leave her and mean it

She def nids help

If na woman bring this complaints, all the feminists here will be shouting leave him, leave him, men are beasts! My brother I would really have loved to hear her own side before I give my advice. Be that as it may...

1, I think you encouraged this attitude by always giving in to her when ever she flies her temper tantrums. All the time you dated her you never put your foot down and made it clear to her that her behavior is unacceptable.

2, You guys are married now so she still believes that her temper tantrums can still be continually tolerated.

My advice..

1, You must meet a third party now else she will continue getting more violent. Take her to someone she has absolute respect for and while in the persons presence narrate the incidences of her temper tantrums and make it clear there that you are tired of the issue and put your foot down.


Option B is called shock therapy...this requires some practice

THROW A COUNTER MORE VIOLENT TANTRUM AND SHOCK HER!...here goes...while she is acting up... You suddenly scream grab a bottle and throw it at the wall beside her..As the bottle is shattering.. grab other things hurl it at her but make sure it doesn't touch her (This is where practice is needed). All the while you are screaming at the top of your voice and generally simulating mayhem.

My brother I guarantee you that the shock therapy will work 100%..she will keep quiet and watch you. Meanwhile you keep screaming about how tired you are and how you are now ready to destroy everything! My brother your wife will become a lamb after that...

u can try dinachi method if d therapist n talking part does not work.but wen doing dat,make sure dt wherever she s in d house,she s not wt an item dt can injure u,doesnt v easy access to it n u r close to d exit in case she goes 'wild' ( to save ur life). also pray about it.prayer changes things.good luck

Hoping dat she'll calm n change after child birth may be a mirrage. Either u tame her now or u live wit it. It is ur home. Wot do u want frm it....success, happiness, abuse or failure? Perhaps u need to be firm in ur decision, principles n choices...wit tym she'll repect u for dat. The tym u both av togeda shld be maximized positively n not resolving conflicts. Pray 2geda n deal wit her in love with maturity. God bless ur home

OP, how did you arrive at the conclusion that this is just a phase you need to wait for? Or that pregnancy will change her? I'm just at a loss because as you said, she has always been this way so why are you deceiving yourself?

As far as I'm concerned you need to separate till she gets her act together by whatever means necessary. She has already warned you she will stab you. Next step is to carry it out. Stop begging unnecessarily and making peace. You are just turning yourself into the typical abuse victim and fueling her behavior. You need to stand up for yourself.

ileobatojo: OP, how did you arrive at the conclusion that this is just a phase you need to wait for? Or that pregnancy will change her? I'm just at a loss because as you said, she has always been this way so why are you deceiving yourself?

As far as I'm concerned you need to separate till she gets her act together by whatever means necessary. She has already warned you she will stab you. Next step is to carry it out. Stop begging unnecessarily and making peace. You are just turning yourself into the typical abuse victim and fueling her behavior. You need to stand up for yourself.

My thoughts exactly.

op from your post you love your wife but she's violent ,so i advice you run for ya life or better still wear jeans trouser after wearing knicker and boxers when you want to sleep,you don't know when she is having a fit and cut your pen1s and probably your buttocks.
A woman that can try to manually play with fan when its working can do anything.am serious

Wow! Well obviously she has anger issues, damn she should know everybody gets angry, but out-of-control rage isn't good for you or those around you. When you can't control your anger, you may get into fist-fights or drive recklessly, for example, endangering yourself and others.
This problem might be spiritual or medical. You both should visit a pastor and a psychologist. Sigh! God is able

My two cents

You need to take your wife to a psychiatrist. She is clearly mentally unstable. If you want I can give you the name of a therapist to help her out. You give her an ultimatum. Either she goes or you go. I never see this kain wahala be this?

Chillisauce: My dear, you better settle this problem before involving other girls. Try talking sense to her or separate for you both to clear your head.

If you involved other girls while with her, she can get really dangerous in as much as hurting the other girls to spit on you.
I have seen it happened, the violent wife stabbing a girl she suspected dating her husband in the presence of the husband. Police case etc.

You don't want that.

That is,if he is not the one that will be parted from his balls.

Typical African man,your solution to your predicament is finding other women attractive, i fear for your life .

op why are u writing like calotti...

3 months... pretty early but that is not worth youhaving a side dish... it can backfire if she goes off the bend

Try marriage counselling...
A small period of seperation if she does not change... well...

@op am sorry you are going through this hell and all but seriously you knew she has a nasty temper yet you still went ahead to marry her hoping she'll change..really??...It does not work that way,people honestly do not change like that.As a matter of fact the best behaviours are exhibited before marriage and some of us know that...
...now you are thinking about straying because of this nasty temper you've always know her for just 3months after your wedding by finding other women attractive...how logical is that my brother??..Something you should have done long ago by booting her out of your life and saving yourself a whole lot of headache and emotional turmoil.

..my advise??..i honestly have got none to give,am sorry cos i really wish i can help.

P.s i wouldnt try @dinachi's last suggestion if i were you cos with an irrational wife like yours,you simply cant predict the outcome.Peace.

dinachi: If na woman bring this complaints, all the feminists here will be shouting leave him, leave him, men are beasts! My brother I would really have loved to hear her own side before I give my advice. Be that as it may...
1, I think you encouraged this attitude by always giving in to her when ever she flies her temper tantrums. All the time you dated her you never put your foot down and made it clear to her that her behavior is unacceptable.
2, You guys are married now so she still believes that her temper tantrums can still be continually tolerated.
My advice..
1, You must meet a third party now else she will continue getting more violent. Take her to someone she has absolute respect for and while in the persons presence narrate the incidences of her temper tantrums and make it clear there that you are tired of the issue and put your foot down.
Option B is called shock therapy...this requires some practice
THROW A COUNTER MORE VIOLENT TANTRUM AND SHOCK HER!...here goes...while she is acting up... You suddenly scream grab a bottle and throw it at the wall beside her..As the bottle is shattering.. grab other things hurl it at her but make sure it doesn't touch her (This is where practice is needed). All the while you are screaming at the top of your voice and generally simulating mayhem.
My brother I guarantee you that the shock therapy will work 100%..she will keep quiet and watch you. Meanwhile you keep screaming about how tired you are and how you are now ready to destroy everything! My brother your wife will become a lamb after that...

Is this Dinachi

Whatever you do, don't attempt to have kids with her till you see changes. If things don't change I boy flee for your life. You obviously never knew how bad it truly was. And you may be in for new surprises. This is if your story is what it is

Dude yhur wife is CRAZY! she put her hand in a fan and cut her fingaz?? Threatened to stab you becos u didnt pick her calls?? And you think this is a phase? Na when your tory go appear for NTA u go know whatsup

Find her a psychiatrist ASAP. As for thoughts of going for other women you better not try it cos if she finds out she can kill u, kill d woman n herself even, Also hold d tots of pregnancy n children for now until she is on d right medications because one day na to throw your pikin down d staircase in one of her 'fits'

@Op, did she showcase any trait of violence or anger mismanagement issue when you were courting? If she did and you still went ahead to marry her without sorting it out, I would rather have you blamed. Besides that, I would implore you not to involve girls/ladies at this stage of your life, either now or later, because it will be dangerous for you or the girl.
While you were dating/courting, did you run background check on her family? I can deduce from here that it is not a physical/psychological issue at all but a spiritual one. Asides that, you need to even inform her parents/family because it is gotten to the level in which you have to do so now. Let your own family know the problem at hand.

Double post

She needs to see a psychiatrist. It's just an illness. When she starts taking the right treatment she'll be a new woman. Old things passed away.

First of all... Introduction...

To be serious, you need not impregnate her... Not now....

Secondly, make sure she does not get pregnant while you try study her the more to know if you can continue with her or not...

Thirdly... Did you notice such characters when you guys were dating? (That is why it is good to eat punny and live in while dating so you can get to know much and much more about the partner cos sometimes, the ecstasy of going into her skirt will make we men forgo many things and when heaped upon, we tend to open our eyes clearer)... If not, you need to visit a Pastor or talk to God yourself if you know how to talk to Him in the way He hears... and bind every spirit that wants to frustrate your lovely home....

Stop them before they stop you o...

Chomzy19: Dude yhur wife is CRAZY! she put her hand in a fan and cut her fingaz?? Threatened to stab you becos u didnt pick her calls?? And you think this is a phase? Na when your tory go appear for NTA u go know whatsup

Find her a psychiatrist ASAP. As for thoughts of going for other women you better not try it cos if she finds out she can kill u, kill d woman n herself even, Also hold d tots of pregnancy n children for now until she is on d right medications because one day na to throw your pikin down d staircase in one of her 'fits'

1000 likes. I fled from a really wonderful girl for the same reason...she had this nasty temper. It's one thing to see a guy lose it, you just don't by default expect the same from females. I always questioned my decision to flee till now. Lawd I made d right decision. OP you're in it...if you bliv in God pls seek him with all your heart and if you don't get external help fast from someone she respects. I understand the "wandering eyes" it results from the strain at home and kinda wishing your cross ain't yours. God help you man cos you're in for the long haul

dinachi:

Option B is called shock therapy...this requires some practice

THROW A COUNTER MORE VIOLENT TANTRUM AND SHOCK HER!...here goes...while she is acting up... You suddenly scream grab a bottle and throw it at the wall beside her..As the bottle is shattering.. grab other things hurl it at her but make sure it doesn't touch her (This is where practice is needed). All the while you are screaming at the top of your voice and generally simulating mayhem.

My brother I guarantee you that the shock therapy will work 100%..she will keep quiet and watch you. Meanwhile you keep screaming about how tired you are and how you are now ready to destroy everything! My brother your wife will become a lamb after that...

I'm not too comfortable with this approach. What if she picks up the broken pieces and cut her wrist? Women with anger issues can be very dramatic.

@OP, i don't have a better advice o, no vex. I wish you a safe marriage. You saw the signs.

I don't have a temper, it means I will make a good wife

Op, I really don't know what to say, I wish you well.

Caracta:
I'm not too comfortable with this approach. What if she picks up the broken pieces and cut her wrist? Women with anger issues can be very dramatic.
@OP, i don't have a better advice o, no vex. I wish you a safe marriage. You saw the signs.

While seeing a therapist may not work, I can guarantee you 100% that the SHOCK THERAPY will definitely work. OP the ball is in your court!