Hello all, please i urgently need advise on what best to do now.

I have a 7 months old baby and require the services of a nanny but i have been encountering some issues :

1. First and foremost, i live very far away from my place of work and so i have to leave home by 4:30 am every week day to catch the staff bus (my resumption time at work is 6:30am and i get to work by 6:10 or 6:15am) my husband leaves home at about the same time too.

2. Secondly, we occupy a room and parlour apartment.

I would prefer to have a live-in maid as she would be able to sleep in the living room at night and change her clothes in the bathroom e.t.c but i recently had a bad experience with one sometime back when my baby was barely 4 months, she just woke up 1 morning when we were away at work and left my house without telling anybody her whereabouts, when she was finally found, she said she left cos she didn't want to work as a maid anymore. i was lucky i had my sister living with me then,,,i wonder if the maid would have left my baby all alone at home when she had her nervous breakdown.
Getting a nanny that would resume work by 4:20am to close for maybe 6/7pm has been impossible and me quitting work is out of the issue completely. My mother is not available to help me and am out of options,,,,,QUITTING MY JOB NOW WILL NOT WORK BECAUSE my husband's salary can barely take care of 1 person how much more 3/4 people,so i have to work to assist him. There are no proper daycare/crech around my area as i have checked and the available ones don't live in the school premises, so dropping the baby off that early is out of the issue.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO ,,,,,,My sister would be leaving for school at the end of the month and i dnt know how i'll care for my child while i work,i am so scared of getting another live-in maid and leaving the baby all alone with her as my sister has to go back to school after the ASUU strike has been called off.

Good people, please put yourselves in my shoe and give me a candid advise, there is a saying that a problem shared is half solved,,,I NEED YOUR ADVICE.

I Wish I Had A Better Option. But If You Can't Get A Maid To Work At That Time, How Will You Go About It?

i dnt know,,right now, i have tears in my eyes and my heart is so heavy,,,,,GOD please help me, i dnt knw what to do. people pray to have babies and i have one by the grace of God,,,,,,,,,my baby is a blessing so i dnt want to be crying over issues concerning the baby.

Why don't you look for a daycare close to your office?
A lot of daycares are open by the time u get to ur office and u can easily keep an eye on ur kid.

Mummyf, i have tried,,,,,imagine a daycare around Lekki,,,,,my salary no fit carry am at all.

adorablemummy: Mummyf, i have tried,,,,,imagine a daycare around Lekki,,,,,my salary no fit carry am at all.

Sorry About That.

But There Can't Be Just One

Awwww. I can totally relate with how you feel. I think getting a househelp will be the best option. Ask around, especially in your church/mosque. Or get another family member that can stay around for a while.

Tough one. Comes when you don't make provision before having a baby.

-,The person earning less should quit and take care of the baby until you get a better option.
- Resign and get a job closer home. Even if it means lower pay.
- Send the baby to stay with grand parents while you put yourself together.

You Don't have so Many option here, but whatever yo do, make sure the little baby comes first.

You brought him/her to this world, your primary responsibility is to protect him.

All the best.

Caracta: Awwww. I can totally relate with how you feel. I think getting a househelp will be the best option. Ask around, especially in your church/mosque. Or get another family member that can stay around for a while.

Thank you for your response. I have requested for it to be announced in church,,,and have gotten some reponses but the nannies are all refusing the job based on the resumption time and looking for a live-in maid has been hectic,,,i have lost cash and time with agents promising and failing or giving someone not fit to take care of a child,,,,,1 maid tested positive to tuberculosis and another said she couldn't work for someone that doesn't have a washing machine and a driver to take her to the market. I really am trying.... dts why i came here for options.

Chillisauce: Tough one. Comes when you don't make provision before having a baby.

-,The person earning less should quit and take care of the baby until you get a better option.
- Resign and get a job closer home. Even if it means lower pay.
- Send the baby to stay with grand parents while you put yourself together.

You Don't have so Many option here, but whatever yo do, make sure the little baby comes first.

You brought him/her to this world, your primary responsibility is to protect him.

All the best.

Thank you for your response, i appreciate

-The person earning less should quit and take care of the baby until you get a better option. I HAVE SUGGESTED IT TO MY PARTNER,,BUT IT CAUSED SUCH A QUARREL WITH HIM SAYING I WAS TRYING TO INSULT HIM BECAUSE HE WASN'T EARNING MUCH, i am still having issues with him because of that suggestion.

-Resign and get a job closer home. Even if it means lower pay - I HAVE BEEN POSTING MY CV AND RESPONDING TO VACANCIES,,i haven't recieved any responce yet and my sister would be leaving soonest.

-Send the baby to stay with grand parents while you put yourself together - My mum is not available and my MIL is too old and presently ill. My sister inlaw who is a house wife lives very far from us and has a toddler + 3 other kids of her own.

adorablemummy:
Thank you for your response, i appreciate
-The person earning less should quit and take care of the baby until you get a better option. I HAVE SUGGESTED IT TO MY PARTNER,,BUT IT CAUSED SUCH A QUARREL WITH HIM SAYING I WAS TRYING TO INSULT HIM BECAUSE HE WASN'T EARNING MUCH, i am still having issues with him because of that suggestion.
-Resign and get a job closer home. Even if it means lower pay - I HAVE BEEN POSTING MY CV AND RESPONDING TO VACANCIES,,i haven't recieved any responce yet and my sister would be leaving soonest.
-Send the baby to stay with grand parents while you put yourself together - My mum is not available and my MIL is too old and presently ill. My sister inlaw who is a house wife lives very far from us and has a toddler + 3 other kids of her own.

Looks like you are in this alone.

What was his suggestion? You quit for him to foot the bills or what.

Truth is you both have to get involved. It's you both responsibility. He should be able to provide for the family if you decide to quit or he quits and you provide for the family. Try and communicate better and let him see reason to it.

Else, you beg your sister to help you. She got three kids already, adding yours won't really be a majoy issue once she sees what you are going through. I would have done the same if I were in her shoes.
Send weekly money for the child care to her and get your baby to stay for the weekend prior to getting something else.

Tough one I must say.
Chilli is right, d one with d lesser pay should quit.
Ur time table no longer matters as long as u hv small kids. Every other person has to fix their schedule behind them smallies.
In some cases, u can strike a deal with cretche owners so u will be paying for extra hours.
In a case where quiting job is out of d equation, one of u has to look for something to do close home. Its very important that strangers don't train ur baby for u.
All d best.

Was going to ask if you have a creche in your place of work,but I guess you wouldn't be here if you had one.
Op I dont know the kind of work you do,but have you considered taking your baby to work with you?If you h ave baby friendly boss(es),explain young plight to them and am sure they would allow you have the baby with you during office hours.
The only other option is to quit your job and start a small business,since all other suggestions seem impracticable.

Move closer to ur sister that is a housewife if u both live in Lagos.Alternatively,find a Creche close to Lekki not necessarily in Lekki.

Thanks everyone,,,,,,,,like Chillisauce said,maybe i didn't plan this one well now it's all up in my face. there are no such provisions for babies in the company i work with and YES, i guess am all alone in this.

thank you everybody, Godbless.

1. Ask some of your colleagues in the office if by chance there is an affordable creche around your work place.

2. Ask your husband if there is an affordable daycare close to his own place of work. He can be taking the baby and bringing her when he closes.

3. Its a new year and new leave year, take your annual leave now and find a lasting solution to this issue during the leave period.

4. A more creative approach, depending on what your company does, you can discuss with the management to create a creche location in the company's compound. Staff can be putting there children there with deduction from their salary.

Check out this thread https://www.nairaland.com/1581249/creche-preschool-lekki-ajah

You can also contact the OP to see if she later found one. Or consider the schools mentioned there.

@ op I have had a similar experience. A quick way out is to relocate to somewhere were you can leave the house by 6am. I am sure you will get a day nanny willing to resume by that time. Though I prefer a creche.
@ Caracta. I am still on it.

^^^ ok

Have you checked out Busy Minds Learning Center around Elegushi? I think their prices are affordable.

I don't think getting another job closer to her house can be an immediate solution.

This is a tough nut to crack, weighing all your options! However, have you considered your in-laws? Does any of them live near your house or your office that you can drop your baby with?

With your present living condition and financial situation, don't you think a live-in maid will be an additional burden considering that you will house her, pay her, clothe and feed her?
As a young couple, you need privacy, will you have any with her around?
Will she be comfortable changing in the bathroom(maybe that was why the last one left)
Are you comfortable leaving your baby with a maid from 4.30am till the close of work(I'm guessing like 7pm)
Can you afford a day-nanny? Their pay is slightly higher

My candid advice: quit your job and be the mother that you are! My dear sis, you can not eat your cake and have it. You all will have to manage whatever is coming from your husband's job till you are able to get another one.

thank you all so very much,,,,i already feel so much better with all these ideas coming in,,,,,,i'll look into them and discuss with my husband whether he wants to listen or not.

God bless you all,,,i hope this also encouraged someone else in the same situation.

This is one of the reasons why I ain't rushing into any marriage. What's the need of bringing in kids when I can't take care of everyone of their needs.

Apologies if I sounded a bit harsh

@op the only option is for you to resign your job. Or take a month leave and do the proper search for a maid yourself. Leaving kids with this ladies can be difficult. Except a trusted family member am totally against maid for my children

This is serious matter,don't even know what to say. In all, please you need to sitdown to cross check any decision that you want to choose.

The only sensible option if all else fails is for the person with the lesser pay to quit their job but if hubby refuses then I am afraid you will have to quit. Your husband will have to shoulder the responsibilities of the family by himself.

If you are totally against that idea then

1. You can relocate
2. You can stop worrying about it and let hubby give his own suggestion
3. Get another live in nanny

@OP, i feel for you...

But, i think your best bet is to look for a creche close to where you work, they cant be da xpensive, am sure some wld still take fees monthly.

Hubby n I both leave for work early, mayb not as early as you do, but, our son stayed at a creche around ikoyi axis, since hubby n I work on d island... and it was not as expensive as you might think... and they take fees monthly.

The bottomline is to be ready to pay for what you cant give... and you'd atleast be certain your child is safe.

My boy wld be 3years now, and am so proud of how much he has grown... all of which i witnessed personally.

Sometimes, we just have to do what we need to do... that is another reason why we work n earn money as Mothers...

cheers

Aw...this your plight tugged at my heart.

Pls dont ask your husband to quit his job, the reality of the matter is that an unemployed / stay at home husband will cause more complications for you as it. That is the honest truth!

Secondly, if you find a creche near your office that you can afford will they let you take your baby on the staff bus? If you leave home at 4:30 what time do you now wake up, isnt that too early for the baby? You can consider bathing him at night though, so you can just change him in the morning and be on your way

Thirdly, your accomodation situation with a room and palor is already sorta cramped for you and your husband and a baby so getting a live in maid may not be too easy!

Can your work hours be flexible (resume later) for the main time, till you get this sorted? Be bold enough to ask your bosses, you never can tell, they might just be sympathetic

Try and explore all options of creche around you, i know lekki isnt cheap but leave all the popular ones and check for the coded ones, you can ask your coworkers for tips , also try the elegushi one someone suggested

What of your mum's sisters or your MIL sisters, ask around for relatives who may be in the villa, some waiting for admission, waiting idly to marry, wanting to learn work, etc. Again you never can tell

If all options has been exhausted without success you may need to quit your job and face a business or find something closer to the house.

I hope help comes for you soonest! Hugs*

Waoh! This is a really tough call.....Am honestly so touched...*Big hugs my dear**

favored gal: Aw...this your plight tugged at my heart.
Pls dont ask your husband to quit his job, the reality of the matter is that an unemployed / stay at home husband will cause more complications for you as it. That is the honest truth!
Secondly, if you find a creche near your office that you can afford will they let you take your baby on the staff bus? If you leave home at 4:30 what time do you now wake up, isnt that too early for the baby? You can consider bathing him at night though, so you can just change him in the morning and be on your way
Thirdly, your accomodation situation with a room and palor is already sorta cramped for you and your husband and a baby so getting a live in maid may not be too easy!
[b]Can your work hours be flexible (resume later) for the main time, till you get this sorted? Be bold enough to ask your bosses, you never can tell, they might just be sympathetic
Try and explore all options of creche around you, i know lekki isnt cheap but leave all the popular ones and check for the coded ones, you can ask your coworkers for tips , also try the elegunshi one someone suggested
[/b]What of your mum's sisters or your MIL sisters, ask around for relatives who may be in the villa, some waiting for addmission, waiting idly to marry, wanting to learn work, etc. Again you never can tell
If all options has been exhausted without success you may need to quit your job and face a usiness or find something closer to the house.
I hope help comes for you soonest! Hugs*

I will want to agree with the post above especially the the bolded parts.....Try to negotiatiate some flexibility in your resumption time (based on your current situation....appeal to them) and search deeper in the lekki axis for a creche that is within your budget (some coded ones).

My dear...i understand what you're going through and i know this is really tough one as your choices are really limited. Your best bet would have actually being either your mum or MIL even if it means the baby being with them during the weekdays.....Or a creche close to your house..but you leave home really early so that won't work as well.

I pray you're able to get a live-in nanny or a creche close to your office for now as that will at least work for you in the interim but honestly, i doubt if it's sustainable considering your current condition...Going forward, please look for a better job! One either closer to your house for convenience or a job with a higher paying salary that can open you up to more choices..

I wish you the very best....God bless your LO!

One bedroom, one parlor, one husband, one child and one job!

Hmmmmmm!
Child care problem na MAJOR WAHALA I SWEAR!!!
Poor you.

God will provide!

adorablemummy:

Thank you for your response. I have requested for it to be announced in church,,,and have gotten some reponses but the nannies are all refusing the job based on the resumption time and looking for a live-in maid has been hectic,,,i have lost cash and time with agents promising and failing or giving someone not fit to take care of a child,,,,,1 maid tested positive to tuberculosis and another said she couldn't work for someone that doesn't have a washing machine and a driver to take her to the market. I really am trying.... dts why i came here for options.

These maids of today have killed me. Washing machine and driver too? Hmmmnnn! Wonders shall never end. Anyway, my own advice is, try and look for a job closer to your home. I don't agree with all this early morning running around, its bad for your health. I would have asked you to quit and be hustling jeje on your own. Kpele my sister, God dey

Daresh:

These maids of today have killed me. Washing machine and driver too? Hmmmnnn! Wonders shall never end. Anyway, my own advice is, try and look for a job closer to your home. I don't agree with all this early morning running around, its bad for your health. I would have asked you to quit and be hustling jeje on your own. Kpele my sister, God dey

what do you expect? Beside house chores is not an easy tasks, I think they are requesting for it in order to make their work easier.

@adorablemummy I've logged back into NL because of you as I felt the despair in your post

My dear ive been there so know how you feel. I will tell you now that it is all a phase and it will pass. My son came back from his driving lesson last night and was jisting me about major and minor turns and I just muttered a Thank you God under my breath. . . .this is the same kid who it seems was like born yesterday. Time does indeed fly & no condition is permanent

My advise to you is to quit your job and be a mother to your kid. You are just going to have to cut your coat according to your size. We did same. I have worked part time for years. The money is not great, but I have great satisfaction in knowing that I am there for my kids. It was raining yesterday morning and while other kids were walking in the rain, my kids got dropped off in school. I know some will say I am comparing oranges and lemons but I can assure you that if you really look around there will be some things that you can save on. For a start you will not be paying or feeding maids. healthwise you will not be worrying all day at work wondering if your baby is safe. You will also not be gradually killing yourself waking up at 4;30 am to face Lagos traffic . . and for how much?

Nigeria is one of the most easiest countries to be self sufficient but people just dont see it. One of my aunties who is an traditional engagement Mc was telling me a few days ago that she has done at least 1500 weddings. Said she even did 3 on one day. She also has a full time job. The problem is that people are always looking for the big bang & big contracts when there are little little things around you that you can do. When she first started she was charging N200 a wedding, sometimes even free. Now her fees are in the region of 50K.

Take the time to look around you and pray for Gods guidance on what you can do from home that will afford you some pocket money and plenty of time to be a good and available mother to your baby.

You are a young couple; dont be disillusioned. Money & comfort will still come. With hard work and Gods favour you will get there and then look back and say Baba God if not for you. How on earth did we survive living on this.

As regards your hubby, he is only being a man. Deep down in him he is already fighting the ego demon. He already must be feeling so bad that he cant provide for his family adequately but ego and pride will make him show this in an aggressive way. Dont kick a man when he is already down. I am a woman so I know how we can be sometimes. Understand how he must be feeling and encourage him. its hard I know, but like I said no condition is permanent and what is not enough will soon be more than enough in Gods time. You are also sowing a seed because whatever you do now is what you are going to reap when he does finally make it. When you hear some husbands say "my wife, my wife" every few seconds, look back into the history and you will see a woman who has sacrificed and supported a lot in the struggle years.

So go to your husband in an approachable manner/voice/words and talk to him about quiting your job. Encourage him to talk and you both pray and agree a small biz that you can be doing to put some money in your pocket. You are a woman so you can work out what things you can cut down on in the home too.

I pray that God blesses your family, your marriage and the work of your hands. It is well.

^^ CC well said as always. There is no greater sacrifice for a child than to be there to train him or her well.