Goodmorning all,,,Dygeasy, teeo, mummyf, nikkygal, chircover, Sarah a, Caracta, vanitty, Chillisause, ypepe, favoured gal, tobiegal, ifedun2, mercifull, Balloti, bellong, Daresh, Sammiejo, candy,,,,,,, hope everyone is alright?

I really wish i could just rewind time and do things differently but alas i can't, i have to face reality, this reality.

I spoke to my husband again about me quitting job ,,,,,,How do we cope on my meagre 40k salary?? He asked me,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,(Truelly this is a logical question to ask because thats what he earns monthly),,,,,,,,,,,
What kind of buisness can i start and still be able to manage my household on his 40k per month salary(which also includes his transportation and feeding at work/ footing his mothers medical bills/ PHCN bills/baby diaper/baby cereal) if i do quit my job? I really wish i could, i want to but quitting my job,,,,, isn't dt out of the question? My company has medical insurance so my baby gets immunization,,his company doesn't,,meaning added cost on immunization.
On the other hand, i really want to be there for my child cos my mama wasn't never there for me cos she had to work vertiually throughout my childhood so i could readjust to some cheaper lifestlyles changes if i do quit such as;

1. No more DSTV,,,no matter how cheap the bouque is!!!
2.No more gas,,,revert to stove,,,,,is that even cheaper,,just wondering,,,,
3.Change the disposable diapers to cloth nappies,,,,,,,,God help me!
4.Buy I-PASS-MY-NEIGHBOUR generator,,,,,,,,,consumes less fuel
5.No more cereal for baby,,,,full time pap,,,,,what about the milk?
But really, even with all these lifestlyle changes,,,,,can we cut it with 40k per month,,,,,,,,SUGGESTIONS PLEASE,,,,,thnks guys.


P.S - I can not ask him to stay home with the kid anymore,,,i have tried in the past and it was disastrous. I remenber how moody, depressed, sad and ill tempered he was when he lost his other job cos the company went bankrupt when i just put to bed,,,to think that i was home when he was exibiting those characters is okay but to leave him all alone with kid,,,being the house-husband,,,,,i think that will leave an everlasting gash in our marriage.
Also putting the baby in a crech nearby work is exposing that little baby to too much stress,,having to wake up so early so we can catch the bus and all dt,,,,,the little angel has been thru enough already.

Caracta: ^^^ ok

Have you checked out Busy Minds Learning Center around Elegushi? I think their prices are affordable.

I don't think getting another job closer to her house can be an immediate solution.

Thanks. Will look it up.

This is a tough one. I read over and over again. I don't even know what to say

One thing i'm sure of is that, you only need to take a step. Our greatest fear most times is that we are afraid to take risks, step out and take charge. I have this kind of attitude that i believe i can survive anywhere or weather any storm. You don't need to stay at home doing nothing. I don't know your skills or things you have interest in. A woman can stay in the comfort of her kitchen and bake for commercial purposes. It won't go on like this forever. It's only a matter of time.

That 40k is nothing already. Why suffer over it?

Honestly, i wish you the best.

Let your relative guard the baby for sometime being while you sort your self out.

If that baby falls sick I wonder how you gonna pay for the medical bills. Begging from one point to another.

Beg your sister in law to take care of him for maybe six months, get a house closer office and continue your work.

I wouldn't resign if I were you. I can't see my baby from cereal to Akamu. My opinion.

40k can't do anything.. Can it even pay for the rent. My major issue is the medical insurance. You got one but you want to throw it away for what.

Check with your sister inlaw, give her money every week and take your child for weekend.
Good life comes with sacrifices.

All the best

I just checked out BUSY MINDS LEARNING CENTER ELEGUSHI on phone, spoke with the propreitress Mrs. Ajayi on 08087444764,,,she sounded really friendly and nice,,,,,,,,said the creche goes for 45k per month and they collect monthly. Moreover that i can drop the baby for as early as 20/15 minutes to 7am.

PLEASE, HAS ANYONE BEEN THERE IN PERSON BEFORE? Has anyone had any experience with them presently or in the past,,,please share with us as it seems this is a good choice for me. I really can not quit so that this child will not suffer.

I might go there in person to check it out based on the responses i get from here cos i dnt want them to just show me around but i dnt have any idea of how they really take care of our LOs....

By the way, my sister-in-law has a 13-month old and three other children of her own,,,,,,,,,

@poster,havin read tru,i feel for u dear.lots of good advice have been put out.when u talked of quittin ur job,d one thing i just tot of is:
IF U QUIT UR JOB,DO U THINK UR HUBBY CAN FOOT D HOUSE RENT?dunno who has benn handlin dat sha.
TRUTH B TOLD,u r d best person to take care of ur kid cos even wit maids,daycare,it requires serious prayers.may God ease ur affairs dear.

@adorablemummy

I've never been there. Someone referred me to the place when my SIL was looking for a creche. It was an option because i work in Lekki but we got a better option later on.

I think you should go there like you suggested.

Thanks iyabetajos, and i foot the house rent and other bills,,hoping and praying he gets a better break soonest,,,i feel so bad for him, he works so hard for peanuts,,,God help us.

@Caracta, i'll pop in there during my lunch time today,,,the earlier the better,,,,,,,,,,,,i'll give an update when i get back.

Your hubby salary is 40k per month, putting that into consideration, 45k per month is too much for a stranger to be watching your baby. Please I know it seems impossible but there are family that even survive on 18k per month.

Chair cover said it all really, your baby and health should be your priority and the easiest thing to do is quit your job.

In this slight pickle you find yourself, left to me I will just let my husband make the decision, if he thinks quit - so be it, if he thinks maid - so be it, if he thinks spending more than his own salary for crèche- so be it

Really wish you the best, it will be worth it in the end x

@CHAIRCOVER and VANITTY, to say that i am inspired by your faith is an understatement, thank you.

I really was thinking in 1 of my quite times about starting a nanny service of my own but i dnt even have the space for it and moreover, that area i live is populated with mostly stay at home moms or private bizness moms who control their own time ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

All, i like the nanny service idea a lot,,,,,,,,,ASIDES FROM CHECKING OUT THE CRECHE AT ELEGUSHI,,,,i want to have a small bizness idea in mind,,,,,,,can i pull off the nanny service stunt,,,,,any ideas,,,,,,what do i need to kick start it,,very very small scale but good quality,,,,,

I have not been able to save much due to the financial constraints of footing the bill but i have about 300k now,,,,

Can we focus on how to kick-start the nanny service in my room and parlour apartment?
Would mothers be willing to leave their child with my day care center,,,with the space constraint and me having my own baby?

I could employ 2 or 3 more hands to help with the kids from 7am till 6am ,,weekdaysss,,,,,,,,,,,wow,,,am smilling already,,,,,,,,
MORE IDEAS,,,MORE IDEASSSS PLSSS,,,,,lets do this together,,,,,,

I like this woman already!

Just thinking,,with a biz plan such as this,,,do i need any licence in nigeria?

What nutritional advantage does a cereal has over pap? Could someone please educate me?

Changing from cereal to pap is not backwardness except cereal is more nutritious which I doubt. I don't trust those additional bio-chemical contents of cereal.

I believe gas is cheaper than kerosene in the long run. Gas does not come with additional costs of washing your blackened pots from the stove's soot. It lasts longer than kerosene too.

Like I suggested earlier, take your annual leave now to plan whatever you will end up doing. During the leave period, think and organise your strategies and whatever you desire.

For a daycare center, you can read this foreign link for starting small. I wouldn't know how your sitting room is, you will also need a separated place for the kids to take their nap and lots of educational toys. You should also get approval from necessary authority to forestall future trouble, probably from ministry of education

http://www.childrenview.com/daycare/starting_a_daycare.php

May God help and guide you in the right way to go.

Hmm OP, I wish you well in the part you choose.

Going from certainty to uncertainty.
Being a housewife is a full time job on its own, and you said the environment you stay most are housewives leaving a little option for customers to petronize you. Also a one room apartment for child care services.

You have to sit down and weigh your options.....

Leaving a high paid job that comes with health insurance
And living off on a salary of 40k,
Not that you have a skill already in self employment.

Nothing stops you from getting a house closer to the office.

As for business idea, you need to sit down and ask yourself what you are good in.
And pls, make provision of not earning much during the first yr of your business.
The zeal to continue must be there, that's why you need to do something you love or have a skill.

I do not advice quitting your job.. bills need to be paid

On changing jobs... In naija it is easier to get another job when you have a present job..

whatever you do pls don't quit that job. Cost of keeping a family is quite high. Get an apartment close to where you work no matter how small. That creche at Elegushi is on the high side but remains the most feasible solution for now. The Lord will strengthen you.

@Op, my advice is simply get a live-in maid dt u'll. Pay bw 10-15k, if U live near ur Sister in Law, in d morning dy go to her place dn in d evening u all go home together. U May do ds untill u hv enough Confidence in d girl before dy start staying alone at home. Pray hard abt ds and be nice to d maid, treat her like a sister. Look for someone dt is good with babies. And always pack Baby's bag urself and in d evening go thru, it will gv a little clue as to how baby fared during d day. Also be in constant touch during the day and encourage them to flash/call to gv updates.

Don't quit ur. Job just yet until u hv something concrete on ground. It is well.

@adorablemummy,

I believe you earn more than hubby, hence the fear of leaving your job. Starting a daycare center is not as easy as it sounds! There are so many things to be considered, most importantly space. Space for the kids to nap, play without the TV stand or the settee or coffee table disturbing them!
My dear, your place will simply not do, It's too small. Small day care space is an instant turn off!

Can you afford to pay 45k for day care services and still have something to live on? That is even more than your husband's monthly pay! Please, consider the options very well.

Quitting your job is not as bad as it sounds, but at this junction I will say try other workable plans first. Yes, jobs are very hard to come by!
If you want to get a house close to your workplace, can you get it in 2 weeks, move there and be settled before your SIL leaves?

Like others have suggested, if you decide to quit (if if if) start a business.
There is a food vendor in my estate who sells in the morning, she is holds a BSc! She sells jollof rice, fried rice etc. People park their cars and buy food there for their children in the morning, even mothers who can't wake up early enough to cook. By 11am she's done selling. She just bought a car last year December.
You can start making beads like suggested earlier.
You can bake and supply schools, supermarkets.

If you are hard working, you will make money while taking care of your baby minus the stress of waking up at 4am everyday.

BTW, pap is not bad! My second baby did not tolerate all these fancy baby food, I tried pap(millet) on the advice of a pediatrician and he tolerated it. He is a big, strong healthy boy. With adequate infant milk, pap is a very healthy choice.

The good lord will direct you in the rightful direction because left to me ,I would have ask you to retain your job.

You could relocate to some where close to your place of work ,atleast the stress will minimize.

I love this thread. Heartfelt contributions from forumites and smart intelligent OP sharing problems and looking for solutions systematically. And respecting husband, putting family first even though she's the bread winner.

We're up all night to get lucky and we will be by the grace of Jah. Amen!

My advise

-- Do not quit your job... yet!!
-- Get a live in maid/ nanny
(don't stress that baby by waking him up at
4am)
-- erase the bad experience you had with your maid, not all of them are bad.
-- The help can stay with your neighbor
for starters till you can trust the nanny/
maid.
-- Pray a lot.

This is coming from someone who has been
faced with a similar situation severally.

It is well.

I really would want 2 say quit, but
U wuld have 2 move 2 a 1 room because
U cnt afford room&parlour wit 40k.
Dat automatically kills ur idea of using ur present place
4 d biz and source of income as well aside 4rm
D obvious size disadvantage. Bsides,300k if used 2
Hire a1 or 2 bdroom 4 d biz can't take care of d furnishing
As well.
Alternatively, can u look 4 any of these tech savvy guys
In Lagos 2 attach a recording device 2 ur baby's
Bag and try d Elegushi place or any other as suggested.
Dat way u get 1st hand info on how they treat babies
At their parents' back while still saving & planning.
If d place is nt gd,within d period,u can ask around
Till u see a good place or better still within d
Elegushi period intensify efforts 2 get some1
4rm ur village even if its an older woman or a
young girl,if there's none in ur village,try other
locations in Nigeria.
I wuld say dnt make anothr mistake and start
Regretting. Jobs r hard 2 come by & even biz moguls
Like Ovia 4 instance strtd wit All States Bank b4 he
Opened his own biz. All I'm sayin is u need ur
Parachute before u jump out of d plane.

chaircover: @adorablemummy I've logged back into NL because of you as I felt the despair in your post

My dear ive been there so know how you feel. I will tell you now that it is all a phase and it will pass. My son came back from his driving lesson last night and was jisting me about major and minor turns and I just muttered a Thank you God under my breath. . . .this is the same kid who it seems was like born yesterday. Time does indeed fly & no condition is permanent

My advise to you is to quit your job and be a mother to your kid. You are just going to have to cut your coat according to your size. We did same. I have worked part time for years. The money is not great, but I have great satisfaction in knowing that I am there for my kids. It was raining yesterday morning and while other kids were walking in the rain, my kids got dropped off in school. I know some will say I am comparing oranges and lemons but I can assure you that if you really look around there will be some things that you can save on. For a start you will not be paying or feeding maids. healthwise you will not be worrying all day at work wondering if your baby is safe. You will also not be gradually killing yourself waking up at 4;30 am to face Lagos traffic . . and for how much?

Nigeria is one of the most easiest countries to be self sufficient but people just dont see it. One of my aunties who is an traditional engagement Mc was telling me a few days ago that she has done at least 1500 weddings. Said she even did 3 on one day. She also has a full time job. The problem is that people are always looking for the big bang & big contracts when there are little little things around you that you can do. When she first started she was charging N200 a wedding, sometimes even free. Now her fees are in the region of 50K.

Take the time to look around you and pray for Gods guidance on what you can do from home that will afford you some pocket money and plenty of time to be a good and available mother to your baby.

You are a young couple; dont be disillusioned. Money & comfort will still come. With hard work and Gods favour you will get there and then look back and say Baba God if not for you. How on earth did we survive living on this.

As regards your hubby, he is only being a man. Deep down in him he is already fighting the ego demon. He already must be feeling so bad that he cant provide for his family adequately but ego and pride will make him show this in an aggressive way. Dont kick a man when he is already down. I am a woman so I know how we can be sometimes. Understand how he must be feeling and encourage him. its hard I know, but like I said no condition is permanent and what is not enough will soon be more than enough in Gods time. You are also sowing a seed because whatever you do now is what you are going to reap when he does finally make it. When you hear some husbands say "my wife, my wife" every few seconds, look back into the history and you will see a woman who has sacrificed and supported a lot in the struggle years.

So go to your husband in an approachable manner/voice/words and talk to him about quiting your job. Encourage him to talk and you both pray and agree a small biz that you can be doing to put some money in your pocket. You are a woman so you can work out what things you can cut down on in the home too.

I pray that God blesses your family, your marriage and the work of your hands. It is well.

You said it all.I always respect your contribution.God bless you lots.
@op my only advice is prayer,it open all doors.I wish you success.

quit ur job and start a business, tht way u can be wit ur child all day... But una get mind ooo, im very sure i will shed tears d day my son starts school because i will be imagining wat he is going tru, who is beating him or who is cheating him, not to take of a 7 months old baby

@adoreablemum I wish update us on the solution you found to this issue or maybe I missed that part

need a well trained nanny or maid contact Haspol today!

adorablemummy:
thank you all so very much,,,,i already feel so much better with all these ideas coming in,,,,,,i'll look into them and discuss with my husband whether he wants to listen or not.

God bless you all,,,i hope this also encouraged someone else in the same situation.

adorablemummy i am a single mum nd i can tell its not been quite easy coz i live in ikorodu nd most job offers i get ar on d island.
i av no one to stay wit my baby or drop my baby for. my mum is working and leaves home 5am to10pm while my siblings ar in school.
my neibour i wuld av drop her wit is an elderly woman nd some times i com bak to see my baby has pickd up some bad habit.
av tout pf it seriously nd i cant eat my cake nd av it nd my baby first in any descision i av to take.its either i go into business or work in a school in ikorodu environs where i can take care of my baby well nd stil av adequate rest.