debolay:

Bisi Olofinyo needs your prayers now. Please Pray for her. Thank you

Father, in the Name of Jesus Christ, we commend Bisi Olofinyo into your healing hands.
We ask You to heal this wonderful young sister of all her ailments -
the blood vessel
spinal chord
and head injury
- there is no name above the Name of Jesus Christ, and all these problems are healed.

We praise You Father for Your love. We thank you for Your mercy and faithfulness.
Glory to Your wonderful Name. Amen.


- - - - - -

Dear debolay, Bisi will continue to be in our prayers. Be confident in God and keep your heart at peace. Grace be with you in Jesus' Name.

@Easyy
Thank you for your temperance & I shall try to respond in the same spirit.
You see, the way I understood your post is this- beware, lying wonder! was that your  intention? now I doubt it, but I hope you get my point.

@pilgrim.1
I appreciate your point, friend. Indeed, I know that some folks might have evil motives for doing these"wonders", some want recognision, some want fame, The scripture you quoted even says so at v.15:

Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves.

I think the lesson here is that every work will be tried. See, the parable (analogy) of the wise and foolish builders that follows immediately.I believe there is a call here for the servants of God to keep a humble spirit and give only God the glory, because their works & motives  will be tried in the end.
So, I usually have this attitude to miracles that if you claim Jesus did it, well wonderful!praise God. When that day comes, will Jesus say to you 'I know you not ?' I can't say.

At another place Jesus said, rejoice not that the spirits are subject  to you, rather rejoice that your names are written in heaven.

This certainly refers to the attitude of those whom God would use to wroth these miracles.

Remember also the account in Luke 9:49-50?

" Master, we saw one casting out devils in thy name; and we forbade him,, Jesus said: forbid him not for he that is not against us is for us"

Let us christians not be the first to point to the down side.

If the devil wants to shout 'praise the Lord!' , why not?
Jesus be praised.

However,I will look closely at 2 Thes.2 , something there has got my attention. will let you know soon.
I love y'all.

Dear Brothers & Sisters

I have learnt a big lesson from this mail. I hope it will bless you too.

Several years ago, a preacher from out-of-state accepted a call to a church in Houston , Texas . Some weeks after he arrived, he had an occasion to ride the bus from his home to the downtown area.
When he sat down, he discovered that the driver had accidentally given him a quarter too much change. As he considered what to do, he thought to himself, 'You'D better give the quarter back. It would be wrong to keep it, '
Then he thought, 'Oh, forget it, it's only a quarter. Who would worry about this little amount?  Anyway, the bus company gets too much fare; they will never miss it.
Accept it as a 'gift from The Lord' and keep quiet.'     
When his stop came, he paused momentarily at the door, and then he handed the quarter to the driver and said, 'Here, you gave me too much change.'
The driver, with a smile, replied, 'Aren't you the new preacher in town?  I have been thinking a lot lately about going somewhere to worship. I just wanted to see what you would do if I gave you too much change. I'll see you at church on Sunday.'
When the preacher stepped off of the bus, he literally grabbed the nearest light pole, held on, and said, oh My Lord; I almost sold your Word for a quarter.'   
Our lives are the only Bible some people will ever read. This is a really scary example of how much people watch us as Christians and will put us to the test!
 
Always be on guard -- and remember -- You carry the name of Christ on your shoulders when you call yourself 'Christian.'

Watch your thoughts; they become words.
Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions; they become habits.
Watch your habits; they become character.
Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.
I'm glad a friend forwarded this to me as a reminder. May The Almighty bless you; I hope you are having a wonderful day! If you pass this on to somebody, you would have ministered to someone.

The Will of The Almighty Father will never take you to where His Grace will not PROTECT you,   Stay FAITHFUL and Be GRATEFUL

By their fruit you shall know them, Mt12 vs 33, Luke6 vs 44. Our actions speaks volume, we don't need to introduce ourselves most times, our actions and character does it for us. 'what does yours say about you??'

God Bless and remember somebody is watching!!!!!!

Yours in His Vineyard

Fellow soldier in Christ

Bisi Olofinyo, I pray for you that the Spirit that raised Jesus from the dead will vitalize every ailing part of your body this minute,in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

This prayer goes for Bisi Olofinyo
"He sent forth His word and it healeth them"- By the reason of the anointing yokes were broken,chains and fetters were loosed.
In the name of Jesus Christ the son of the living God you are hereby disengaged fom your infirmities.
Is it not written that "by His stripes we were healed - Be healed in Jesus name. amen

I stand in agreement with FifiO, pilgrim1 and Kola Oloye with regards to Bisi Olofinyo in the mighty name of Jesus

Let me start by thanking God and all of you for all the prayers and comments. The Lord will surely attend to all your situations in Jesus name. Bisi went Through surgery for 5 hours yesterday. Glory be to God it was successful. She is presently recovering at the UCH hospital. She still needs our prayers as she is going through a lot of pains right now. we extend our profound gratitude to you all even as you still remember her in ur prayers. Thank you bro & sis

@debolay,
Fear not, it is settled. She is coming back soon to testify in Jesus name. amen

@Debolay
Praise Jesus.

@Easyy
Hey there, I think I have found what I thot was not quite fitting into the picture with that scipture you quoted from 2 Thes.2  You see, it occured to me that why would God allow the unsaved to be decieved, afterall the scriptures declare that He wishes above all all men should come to repentance & not  perish. Again, scripture says that signs are actually for the unsaved, & to confirm the word[mark 16:20, John 20:31]

Background to 2 Thes 2

The church in Thes had become restive about the coming again of the Lord, some even thot it had already occured. So Paul,Silvanus & Timothy wrote to them explaining the things that must happen before the coming back of Jesus Christ.
For its clarity, I will reproduce it as it appears in the AMP, with one very relevant footnote to further aid understanding.

As you read, please note carefully, that this scripture refers to the time of the antichrist and to his works .When it speaks of the coming of the son of perdition,ie the anti-christ, it infers that he  will openly declare himself to be God Almighty, and command that  men worship him as God. It is safe therefore to say that he (together with his followers ,perhaps) will perform these lying signs in his own name, marveling many. Those unsaved at the time will tend to believe his testimony ( they say seeing is believing!) and Paul says in another place, that even the elect will be in danger of being tricked into believing.[mark 13:22]

Now, 2 Thes 2:1-12 AMP
*added by me

But relative to the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ( the Messiah) and the gathering together to (meet) Him, we beg you brethen, 2 Not to allow your minds to be quickly unsettled or disturbed or kept exicited or alarmed, whether it be by some (pretended) revelation of the Spirit or by word or by letter (allerged to be ) from us, to the effect that the day of the Lord has (already) arrived and is here.3 Let no one decieve or beguile you in any way, for that day will not come except the apostacy comes first (unless the predicted great falling away of those who have professed to be Christians has come), and the man of lawlessness (sin) is revealed, who is the son of doom (of perdition),[]4 Who opposes and exalts himself so proudly and insolently against and over all that is called God or is worshiped, (even to his actually) taking his seat in the temple of God*(not in the church, as it were, but in the temple in Jerusalem) 5 Do you not recollect that when I was still with you, I told you these things? 6 [/b]And now you know what is restraining him(from being revealed at this time); it is so that he may be manifested (revealed) in his own (appointed) time.[b]7 For the mystery of lawlessness (that hidden Principe of rebellion against constitued authority) is already at work in the world,( but it is)restrained only until ^c he who restrains is taken out of the way.  , 9 The coming( of the lawless one, the antichrist) is through the activity and working of satan and will be attended by great power and all sorts of (pretended)miracles and signs and delusive marvels-(all of them) lying wonders- [b]10[/b] And by unlimited seduction to evil and with all wicked deception for those who are perishing (going to perdition) because they did not welcome the Truth but refused to love it that the might be saved. 11 Therefore God sends upon them a misleading influence, a working of error and a strong delusion to make them believe what is false*( I suppose this will happen because the Holy Spirit, the Spirit of grace,the Spirit of Truth, will be taken away then) 12 In order that all may be judged and condemned who did not believe in (who refused to adhere to, trust in, and rely on) the Truth, but(instead) took pleasure in unrighteousness.

Footnote
[c]
Many believe this One Who restrains the antichrist to be the Holy Spirit, Who lives in all believers and will be removed with them at Christ's coming; yet a majority think it is the Roman Empire.

Blessings!

FifiO

Oh, so great what y'all are doing here.
Let me ask: is any one here interested in writing christian/inspirational novels ? I am coming up with something.Please send me a blank mail at cml_wa@yahoo.co.uk, (that's an "underscore b/w cml & wa)and I will get back to you.
God bless.

Is no one interested in joining my commission,please?
I'll be waiting for your e-mail, or call 08036970282

Blessings!

I want to commend every wise people on this forum. It's no gain saying that Nigeria, the so called giant of africa, has in excess whatever she might need to secure better future and making her goals achieved even before the 2020. I hereby use this opportunity to call the attenton of great people to come and contribute The great messages to the Bible Study Column on my crude website www.joeself.page.tl. May God Bless You All.
Adeboye Joseph
+2347031262179
www.joeself.page.tl

FifiO:

FifiO
Is no one interested in joining my commission,please?
I'll be waiting for your e-mail, or call 08036970282

Blessings!

I'll wire you an email soon!

I came across this song last night and it touched me in a way i havent felt in a long time. Just thot to share:

Though I may not know the tune of that song, thank you davidylan for sharing.

Happy week ppl,
Share this e-mail



The Teacup




There was a couple who used to go to shop in the beautiful stores. They both liked antiques and pottery and especially teacups. One day in this beautiful shop they saw a beautiful teacup. They said, "May we see that? We've never seen one quite so beautiful." As the lady handed it to them, suddenly the teacup spoke.


"You don't understand," it said. "I haven't always been a teacup. There was a time when I was red and I was clay." My master took me and rolled me and patted me over and over and I yelled out, "let me alone", but he only smiled, "Not yet."


"Then I was placed on a spinning wheel," the teacup said, "and suddenly I was spun around and around and around. Stop it! I'm getting dizzy!" I screamed. But the master only nodded and said, 'Not yet."


Then he put me in the oven. I never felt such heat. I wondered why he wanted to burn me, and I yelled and knocked at the door. I could see him through the opening and I could read his lips as He shook his head, "Not yet."


Finally the door opened, he put me on the shelf, and I began to cool. "There, that's better," I said. And he brushed and painted me all over. The fumes were horrible. I thought I would gag. "Stop it, stop it!" I cried. He only nodded, "Not yet."


Then suddenly he put me back into the oven, not like the first one. This was twice as hot and I knew I would suffocate. I begged. I pleaded. I screamed. I cried. All the time I could see him through the opening nodding his head saying, "Not yet."


Then I knew there wasn't any hope. I would never make it. I was ready to give up. But the door opened and he took me out and placed me on the shelf. One hour later he handed me a mirror and said, "Look at yourself." And I did. I said, "That's not me; that couldn't be me. It's beautiful. I'm beautiful."


"I want you to remember," then, he said, "I know it hurts to be rolled and patted, but if I had left you alone, you'd have dried up. I know it made you dizzy to spin around on the wheel, but if I had stopped, you would have crumbled.


I knew it hurt and was hot and disagreeable in the oven, but if I hadn't put you there, you would have cracked. I know the fumes were bad when I brushed and painted you all over, but if I hadn't done that, you never would have hardened; you would not have had any color in your life.


And if I hadn't put you back in that second oven, you wouldn't survive for very long because the hardness would not have held. Now you are a finished product. You are what I had in mind when I first began with you."


********

God knows what He's doing (for all of us).He is the Potter, and we are His clay.


He will mold us and make us, So that we may be made into a flawless piece of work To fulfill His good, pleasing, and perfect will.

Hi Friends,

Been away for a while on vacation.  Your posts have been a blessing.  Thanks everyone for making this refreshing and edifying.

@Pilgrim.1, you are certainly welcome.  It's always nice reading from you.  FifiO, Debolay, Kola Oloye, Joge, Dudu-bobo, OLAADEGBU, Davidylan, Gamine, Ruddyface and everyone in here (pardon my omission), many blessings to you all.

---

@FifiO, thanks for sharing this.

One other painful thing to the clay when it's undergoing the transformation is that it doesn't determine what vessel it should be.  That prerogative is reserved for the Potter- He knows what He has in mind for the clay and what vessel to make it.  Albeit, He makes every vessel so wonderfully and fearfully.

The clay only has to yield to the Potter and submit to His will.  If it is too stubborn and coarse, it may be marred in the Hands of the Potter!  May we not turn out to be vessels unto dishonour in the hands of the Potter.  We may not like the heat of the Potter's furnace nor the turning at the wheels, but ultimately, the process is for our refinement.  May we turn out to be vessels unto honour, showcassing the glorious workmanship of our Potter.

Bless y'all.

debolay

debolay:

Let me start by thanking God and all of you for all the prayers and comments. The Lord will surely attend to all your situations in Jesus name. Bisi went Through surgery for 5 hours yesterday. Glory be to God it was successful. She is presently recovering at the UCH hospital. She still needs our prayers as she is going through a lot of pains right now. we extend our profound gratitude to you all even as you still remember her in your prayers. Thank you bro & sis

Godbless u brotha. We'll all continue to pray for you and don't forget to keep us updated.

Hey everyone,
glad to see everyone's doing well, I thank God for u all indeed! I want to discuss an issue & get advice from you guys.

I was hit with the news yesterday that two of my very good friends, very strong christians, just got divorced. I wasn't sure how to feel or what to think but it really devastated me to hear that becos I love them very much & especially knowing how much they loved each other and they love God.
Apparently they had tried everything they could to stay together and work out their differences (their different race/culture) but the marriage wasn't working. They're both very young, early 20's.

He wants to talk to me later this week and I'm not sure what to say cos I'm so disappointed & I believe strongly in what the bible teaches about marriage and divorce. But at the same time I see why a couple would break up if things were very bad. This is the second young couple I'm close to that are getting divorced and it really hurts to see this happening.

What do you guys think?

@Debolay,

My bad! How could I have missed this? I thank God for brethren here that have lifted up their voices to cry unto God on behalf of Bisi Olofinyo. Thank God for the succesful surgery. It is settled. Whatsoever 2 shall agree on earth is already established. Bisi's healing is established in Jesus name. I pray for a speedy recovery. Let the body system work together now to supply the vital strength and energy in the mighty name of Jesus. I pray the same Spirit that raised up Jesus from the grave quicken every cell in Bisi's body. You will live to proclaim His goodness in the land of the living. Amen.

[size=13pt]Honesty: A Self-Evaluation [/size]

Billy Joel had a big hit back in 1978 with a song called “Honesty.”  Even if you were not around then, you have probably heard this song. 
The title of this single, as well as the message of the song, speaks to a very important ingredient that one must have in any serious and meaningful relationship.  I heard this song playing on the radio the other day, and I was particularly drawn to the chorus:

Honesty is such a lonely word, everyone is so untrue, honesty is hardly ever heard, and mostly what I need from you.
As I listened to those words, I began to think about how important honesty is to me, and about how honest people are in general. 
With that said, I have a question for you to consider today.  When it comes to those few very close loved ones in your life, how honest are you with them?

On a scale from 1 to 5, with 1 being dishonest and 5 being extremely honest, how would you rate yourself?  And since this is an honesty question, please be honest!  This is not an answer you have to share with anyone.  It’s just my way to get you to look inward a bit and do an honest self-evaluation on this critical subject. 

So when all is said and done, how honest are you with those significant others in your life? As a child of God always
let your YES means yes and your NO to be no. God bless you real good is my prayer. Shalom

@Jesoul,

I know such news of divorce could be devastating, especially when the couple is dear to you.  I received such news too about 1 month ago about some people that are dear to my heart and I was lost for what to even think.

Let me say here too that I believe what the scriptures say about marriage and divorce.  I believe marriage is for life and God hates divorce.  I also believe there is no marriage that cannot be worked at, regardless of the degree of the issues/problems it may have.  It only requires the willingness and readiness to do so by both persons concerned.  This is what people are not ready to do and the gulf keeps widening until they feel they can no longer live together.  I am married so I know what I am talking about.

In this case, I think part of the problem was that they married too young and were probably not prepared for some of the issues involved in living together as husband and wife before saying 'I do'.  It goes beyond mere feelings for each other.  It is a man that gets married, not a boy!  Maturity, commitment, responsibility, understanding, patience, tolerance etc are important in marriage.  These are all essential ingredients of love (notice I said love, not feeling).  These become so clear especially when initial feelings of euphoria wane- and they do!

I will continue with this. . . Let's have some more opinions.

---

@Kola Oloye, God bless you for your piece.

@jesoul, sorry o; kpele.
I know that we are all children of God but when it comes to marriage, it doesn't usually work between different races. It's easy for people to decieve themselves and say love will see their marriage through but it takes more than that kind of love for marriage to work.

Once people start living together, the little differences that didn't seem to exist beofre will crop up and if they are very vast they will disturb the relationship. Unfortunately I will always advice people not to go into inter-racial relationships because they almost never work.

You will always get some people who tell you that they know some people that it seems to be working for but if you go back to them a few years later, they're all divorced.

I like this thread sha

Analytical:

@Jesoul,

I know such news of divorce could be devastating, especially when the couple is dear to you.  I received such news too about 1 month ago about some people that are dear to my heart and I was lost for what to even think.

Let me say here too that I believe what the scriptures say about marriage and divorce.  I believe marriage is for life and God hates divorce.  I also believe there is no marriage that cannot be worked at, regardless of the degree of the issues/problems it may have.  It only requires the willingness and readiness to do so by both persons concerned.  This is what people are not ready to do and the gulf keeps widening until they feel they can no longer live together.  I am married so I know what I am talking about.

In this case, I think part of the problem was that they married too young and were probably not prepared for some of the issues involved in living together as husband and wife before saying 'I do'.  It goes beyond mere feelings for each other.  It is a man that gets married, not a boy!  Maturity, commitment, responsibility, understanding, patience, tolerance etc are important in marriage.  These are all essential ingredients of love (notice I said love, not feeling).  These become so clear especially when initial feelings of euphoria wane- and they do!

I will continue with this. . . Let's have some more opinions.

   You have spoken well brotha and I believe you're right about the issue is getting married too early.

I was worried when they first told me they'D be getting married couple years ago but I knew they were strong christians and thot they'D be okay. You said you believe there is no marriage that cannot be worked at . . . I guess this could be possible if they're both willing to do whatever was necessary. My friend says they tried all they could . . . I'm not sure if I believe that. Divorce is just the easy way out in my opinion, that's why one has to be 100% sure and 100% ready before getting married.

What do you think is the next step? I know this will devastate and leave permanent scars on both of them, especially being so young. How does a person get over this kind of thing? I know it is only God that can heal the scars but I also know that there are consequences for our actions and decisions. What would you say to them? I want to be supportive and there for them, but I am also so very disappointed.

JustGood:

@jesoul, sorry o; kpele.
I know that we are all children of God but when it comes to marriage, it doesn't usually work between different races. It's easy for people to decieve themselves and say love will see their marriage through but it takes more than that kind of love for marriage to work.

Once people start living together, the little differences that didn't seem to exist beofre will crop up and if they are very vast they will disturb the relationship. Unfortunately I will always advice people not to go into inter-racial relationships because they almost never work.

You will always get some people who tell you that they know some people that it seems to be working for but if you go back to them a few years later, they're all divorced.

I like this thread sha

My brotha you're right in that there is an extra level of difficulty that arises when two people of different races marry. My uncle has been happily married to a white woman for almost 20yrs now so I know mixed race marriage is possible. He's even written a book about it and the difficulties and struggles of it. So I still think it can work, especially if both of them are christians - they're not just in it for themselves, but also for God.
Even with my boyfriend, black but of european upbringing, I encounter a lot of differences that we both have to work hard at, talk less of when we get married. So you're right in that these differences can be fatal to a marriage, but I think if both parties are willing, it will work.

Psalm 24:
Who May Stand Before the Lord?

The earth is the LORD's and all that is in it,
the world, and those who live in it;
for he has founded it on the seas,
and established it on the rivers.

Who shall ascend the hill of the LORD?
And who shall stand in his holy place?
Those who have clean hands and pure hearts,
who do not lift up their souls to what is false,
and do not swear deceitfully.

They will receive blessing from the LORD,
and vindication from the God of their salvation.
Such is the company of those who seek him,
who seek the face of the God of Jacob. Selah

@JeSoul,analytical,Just Good, Fifo, Kola Oloye, thanks for your contribution, IRON SHAPENET IRON SO THE CONTENANCE OF MAN SHAPENS ONE ANOTHER,


I have found myself in the same situation before. when i didnt speak to a friend for like 2 years, one day i just saw her online and we chatted through out that day to make up for the years we have not spoken. The lady told me she is filing for divorce, my brethren i left my office on the island and went to her office on the mainland to beg her (backing it up with scripture).
I also believe there is no situation in marriage that cannot be manage. Thank God some of us had being married for some years but the Lord has being the Cornerstone of our home, the unseen guest of every meal.
One of my mentor got married at 21 and his wife was 17 yrs then, they are happily married till we speak now. My brother and sister,  i dont believe age got to do anything with this. Analytical has given us the qualities of a good couple[b], (It goes beyond mere feelings for each other.  It is a man that gets married, not a boy!  Maturity, commitment, responsibility, understanding, patience, tolerance etc are important in marriage). [/b]
[b]I listen to a ministration of a man of God like 8 years ago (Pastor George Adegboye), he said something that i always remember each time i have issues at home. He said each time there is misunderstanding in his house, the wife will lock up herself in the toilet and be praying that as soon as she steps out, the Lord would have touched them both.[/b]It looks casual and simple but its the truth, We all dont have the time to pray on little things at home that matters.
Sir/Ma there is no way, couple can understand themselves during courtship and will continue to learn and know each other better as soon as they get married.

@Jesoul, All

My wife and I were married in our early/mid twenties and our marriage was 9 years this August, so age is no barrier if the partners are willing to make it work. 2 critical ingredients for a successful marriage are 1)An overriding, "no holds barred" commitment to make the marriage work & 2). A very large and humble heart to forgive, forget and move on - you can't imagine how difficult this is in practice. (Of course I assume the couple are practising born again chsristians). Believe me, there is very little I have not experienced in a maariage of just 9 years; and while I am quite imperfect in practising 1&2 above all the time, at least one of us always seems to. [b]And that makes all the difference![/b]
For your divorced friends, the 1st thing will be to deal with your  dissapointment in prayers and meditation on the Word so you can "minister" effectively to them without bias. This may involve just showing up to be with them, praying with them, listening to them, giving counsel if they ask or referring them to someone else who can. Most couples that eventually divorce lack 1 or 2 above, complicated further by selfishness and "external influence" (the tempting promise of a better deal form another man/woman).

I wish you the best. I wish all the married  - aspiring to marry - people in this forum a very long and fruitful married life! Its heavenly when it works out.

Hi ALL.

May the Lord Continually guide our paths.

He is the only one we can really depend on through n through.

JeSoul:

You said you believe there is no marriage that cannot be worked at . . . I guess this could be possible if they're both willing to do whatever was necessary. My friend says they tried all they could . . . I'm not sure if I believe that. Divorce is just the easy way out in my opinion, that's why one has to be 100% sure and 100% ready before getting married.

Yes, I believe there is no marriage that cannot be worked at. This is assuming the foundation is right in the first instance and they have to be willing. One thing my wife and I resolved before we got married was that no matter what, divorce will never be an option! With that out of the way, we knew there will be no exit but to resolve whatever comes. But when you keep it as an option, it surely becomes the easy way out.

But is it really the easy way out, when you think about the hurt, hatred, misery and pain? What of the scar, the disappointment with self, the distrust of everyone that comes around the next time and the baggage you carry into the next marriage? What if that one ends up the same way too and the cycle continues? How about the children (if any) and the impact it will have on their psyche? I can go on and on. It's not just the paper that is divorce, the effect is just too traumatic for it to be an easy way out.

I believe if we will all apply a little of the things we did when courting, half of marital problems will fizzle out. Then, you wouldn't sleep if you haven't heard from the other, you wouldn't carry over issues till next day, you wouldn't even allow yourselves to be hurt! You had time for each other, you can talk late into the night without getting bored, you easily do things for each other. You could forgive easily and quickly resolve disagreements etc.

But what happens after getting married? It is mission accomplished? The care and affection disappears, communication becomes mono-syllables, time for each other becomes scarce commodity, offenses become frequent, forgiveness becomes difficult, mutual respect goes out through the window, until they drift away gradually. And the next thing is 'Oh, we are not compatible!!', but in courtship they were the best of friends. Before you know it, since divorce is an option, it looks the easy way out. Oh, may God help us!

What do you think is the next step? I know this will devastate and leave permanent scars on both of them, especially being so young. How does a person get over this kind of thing? I know it is only God that can heal the scars but I also know that there are consequences for our actions and decisions. What would you say to them? I want to be supportive and there for them, but I am also so very disappointed.

I need to know the real state of things now before I can say anything on this. Did they actually divorce legally or just separated? Are they still willing to be husband and wife and just didn't know how to resolve their differences?

By the way, isn't it funny that christians get married in church and go to court to be divorced when disputes between even two brethren should never ever land in court! The scriptures advocates settlement between the two concerned and if they can't settle it they can take it to two or more fellow brethren, then to the elders of the church (Matt 18:15-17), thereby making ample opportunities available for resolution.

Moses gave the Israelites the option of divorce because of the hardness of their hearts but from the beginning, it was not so!!!!!!! (Matt 19 vs 8 ) How did we ever come to the conclusion that divorce is the easy way out? Where is forgiveness in us when we are to forgive at least 490 times a daily!

First thanks to everyone who's told their story and offered advice, I appreciate it.

daruche:

I have found myself in the same situation before. when i didnt speak to a friend for like 2 years, one day i just saw her online and we chatted through out that day to make up for the years we have not spoken. The lady told me she is filing for divorce, my brethren i left my office on the island and went to her office on the mainland to beg her (backing it up with scripture).

Did she listen and change her mind?

I also believe there is no situation in marriage that cannot be manage. Thank God some of us had being married for some years but the Lord has being the Cornerstone of our home, the unseen guest of every meal.
One of my mentor got married at 21 and his wife was 17 years then, they are happily married till we speak now. My brother and sister, i don't believe age got to do anything with this. Analytical has given us the qualities of a good couple[b], (It goes beyond mere feelings for each other. It is a man that gets married, not a boy! Maturity, commitment, responsibility, understanding, patience, tolerance etc are important in marriage). [/b]
[b]I listen to a ministration of a man of God like 8 years ago (Pastor George Adegboye), he said something that i always remember each time i have issues at home. He said each time there is misunderstanding in his house, the wife will lock up herself in the toilet and be praying that as soon as she steps out, the Lord would have touched them both.[/b]It looks casual and simple but its the truth, We all don't have the time to pray on little things at home that matters.
Sir/Ma there is no way, couple can understand themselves during courtship and will continue to learn and know each other better as soon as they get married.

Thanks for sharing that, I pray God will continue to bless and prosper your marriage.

Congruent:

@Jesoul, All

My wife and I were married in our early/mid twenties and our marriage was 9 years this August, so age is no barrier if the partners are willing to make it work. 2 critical ingredients for a successful marriage are 1)An overriding, "no holds barred" commitment to make the marriage work & 2). A very large and humble heart to forgive, forget and move on - you can't imagine how difficult this is in practice. (Of course I assume the couple are practising born again chsristians). Believe me, there is very little I have not experienced in a maariage of just 9 years; and while I am quite imperfect in practising 1&2 above all the time, at least one of us always seems to. [b]And that makes all the difference![/b]
For your divorced friends, the 1st thing will be to deal with your dissapointment in prayers and meditation on the Word so you can "minister" effectively to them without bias. This may involve just showing up to be with them, praying with them, listening to them, giving counsel if they ask or referring them to someone else who can. Most couples that eventually divorce lack 1 or 2 above, complicated further by selfishness and "external influence" (the tempting promise of a better deal form another man/woman).

Thanks for that bit of advice, I was quite surprised at how much this affected me. I think the best I can do now is just to pray for them, I still believe they've made a huge mistake and sinned by divorcing but I'll leave that to btw them and God.

I wish you the best. I wish all the married - aspiring to marry - people in this forum a very long and fruitful married life! Its heavenly when it works out.

Thank you!

Analytical:

Yes, I believe there is no marriage that cannot be worked at. This is assuming the foundation is right in the first instance and they have to be willing. One thing my wife and I resolved before we got married was that no matter what, divorce will never be an option! With that out of the way, we knew there will be no exit but to resolve whatever comes. But when you keep it as an option, it surely becomes the easy way out.

hmmm . . . I see. That's really good. Do you advocate marriage counselling for couples before they get married? I'm begining to think seasoned couples might be able to offer sound advice like this to especially young couples before then say I do.

But is it really the easy way out, when you think about the hurt, hatred, misery and pain? What of the scar, the disappointment with self, the distrust of everyone that comes around the next time and the baggage you carry into the next marriage? What if that one ends up the same way too and the cycle continues? How about the children (if any) and the impact it will have on their psyche? I can go on and on. It's not just the paper that is divorce, the effect is just too traumatic for it to be an easy way out.

You're right. and the after-effects is what I fear most for both of them. After being joined in 1 with a person and then tearing apart . . . I cannot even begin to imagine. Thankfully they have no children. She's going back to her family, they are not christian and I don't know how she'll begin to find some sort of healing without christian influences.

I believe if we will all apply a little of the things we did when courting, half of marital problems will fissle out. Then, you wouldn't sleep if you haven't heard from the other, you wouldn't carry over issues till next day, you wouldn't even allow yourselves to be hurt! You had time for each other, you can talk late into the night without getting bored, you easily do things for each other. You could forgive easily and quickly resolve disagreements etc.

I hear you on that one! One thing I've made sure to watch for in the 5yrs I've been with my bf is to see if our attitudes towards each other changes. I know its not the same as marriage but as its been so many yrs now it can give some indication of how the tide can turn.

But what happens after getting married? It is mission accomplished? The care and affection disappears, communication becomes mono-syllables, time for each other becomes scarce commodity, offenses become frequent, forgiveness becomes difficult, mutual respect goes out through the window, until they drift away gradually. And the next thing is 'Oh, we are not compatible!!', but in courtship they were the best of friends. Before you know it, since divorce is an option, it looks the easy way out. Oh, may God help us!

That was the exact word my friends used to describe the reason for their divorce. I felt it wasn't reason enough n still do.

I need to know the real state of things now before I can say anything on this. Did they actually divorced legally or just separated? Are they still willing to be husband and wife and just didn't know how to resolve their differences?

Nah they've made the cut, they're divorced for sure. They said they discussed, and it was a mutual agreement that their marriage couldn't work and they went their seperate ways. They'd been on n off before they got married couple years ago, infact they were even talking about having kids few months ago.

By the way, isn't it funny that christians get married in church and go to court to be divorced when disputes between even two brethren should never ever land in court! The scriptures advocates settlement between the two concerned and if they can't settle it they can take it to two or more fellow brethren, then to the elders of the church (Matt 18:15-17), thereby making ample opportunities available for resolution.

Moses gave the Israelites the option of divorce because of the hardness of their hearts but from the beginning, it was not so!!!!!!! (Matt 19 vs 8 ) How did we ever come to the conclusion that divorce is the easy way out? Where is forgiveness in us when we are to forgive at least 490 times a daily!

hmmm I never thot of that in that way . . . that's an excellent point.

Gamine:

Hi ALL.

May the Lord Continually guide our paths.

He is the only one we can really depend on through n through.

Hey Gamine what's going on? hows everything with you?

Kola,
thanks and may God bless you for your posts , they are a blessing.