i have posted this on the family section. if your husband tells you to abort a pregnancy, even when you have few kids, like 2 or 3, what would you do? what does he feel 4 you? and will you later have a baby for him if "he says he is ready now for another?"

If your husband asks you to abort a pregnacy that he is responsible for that means he doesnt love you as a wife unless there is a reason behind that which must be under the advice of your doctor but apart from that, something is wrong somewhere.

Maybe twas a "Mistake Baby"

Question:

Are you and your hubby Christan?


Have you discussed your views on abortion before?

Have you had an abortion before?

If he tells you to abort his baby, tell him you've done so but go ahead and have the child.


However, consider your marriage as being on the rocks.


Tell his family members about it as well.

that will be the end of the marriage.
the man is an idiot and sees his wife as a baby machine that can be inseminated, at will, not a human being with feelings.

Like someone had said earlier, if it was causing complicaitons maybe. But other than that its the end of our marriage. I mean, we are married for christs sake.

This is just crazy.

The marriage itself is headed for abortion.

Such a miscarriage!

I'll be thinking he [i]must [/i]have lost his mind

What sort of a union is that?. . . . . . . . . .

Clearly there hasn't been any concrete form of communication btw both parties,. . . . . .

It sounds like an immature marriage, I mean "accidents" like that don't just happen. . . . .

It's not even possible

First find out why he wants to do with that. If you don't agree with abortion, explain to him why you don't feel you can morally and if its just that he doesn't want anymore children for financial/socioeconomic reasons, you guys can compromise on this one being your last and you guys can look into some long-term family planning like an IUD or the contraceptive pill or something. Number of children is a topic that should always be discussed before marrying or before you start having the children so that everyone is on the same page.

WTF are all these women saying??

Examples;

1. Shit happens and you get raped, now you are pregnant. He asks for an abortion now that it can be carried out safely with no harm to you. Does that mean he does not love you??

2. You already have 3 kids. The bills are already a big burden. Money is tight, you have the mortgage to pay, utilities and other miscelleneous expenses. You get knocked up due to one night of unprotected sex. He is pleading with you to have an abortion so as not to drown himself with more responsibilities than he can handle at the moment. Does that mean he does not love you??

3. The dude is old. by the time the kid is 8, he will be retired and living on pension. You already 4 kids of both sexes in the the university or about to enter the university. He has planned his retirement and it does not include this kid. Does that mean he does not love you??

4. You are not strong enough to have this baby safely. Between you and the baby, he chooses you, and asks you to have an abortion. Would you do it??


Abortion is not necessarilly murder. the baby feels no pain whatsoever.

abortion indeed. how did he escaped being aborted himself? abortion is wrong. it is violence against the weak. one of the most awful programe i have ever watched was on the pain women felt many years after abortion. for some it is an open wound.

abortion indeed. dont you know the souls of these babies cry against these people and the land that allows it?

abortion is most certainly wrong

JJYOU:

abortion indeed. how did he escaped being aborted himself? abortion is wrong. it is violence against the weak. one of the most awful programe i have ever watched was on the pain women felt many years after abortion. for some it is an open wound.

abortion indeed. don't you know the souls of these babies cry against these people and the land that allows it?

abortion is most certainly wrong

Dude/dudette

Lack of abortion is the reason for the many kids on the streets begging.
Lack of abortion can be indirectly linked to the high rate of crime in the society.
Lack of abortion can be directly linked to the high number of unskilled labour in the country.
The list is endless. Why bring a child into this world you know you do not have the means to cater for??
Why bring a child into the world to suffer.
Gaddamit the land is crying under the weight of the many unproductive children walikng the streets today.
I support abortion to the fullest as long as it is carried out by qualified doctors/surgeons in good hospital.
When carried out for the right reasons abortion is allowed.

I will seriously think he has lost his mind

i don't support abortion

there are adverts on billboards, tv, newspapers and all other media to practise safe sex.

always use a condom (very important)

after the birth of your first child, start family planning (various methods available)

use contraceptives-a woman has 24hrs after (unprotected) sex to make up her mind if she want to be pregnant or not.

abortion is not good and the side effects if not done properly are damaging and life threatening.

I dont think abortion is such a bad thing and a husdand should not be crucified for asking for that if its for a just cause. Of course no husband would tell his wife to get rid of a pregnancy just for the fun of it.

Why did he ask for the abortion, thats the question.

Ujujoan:

I don't think abortion is such a bad thing

YOUR KIDDING

Okija_juju:

WTF are all these women saying??

Examples;

1. Shit happens and you get raped, now you are pregnant. He asks for an abortion now that it can be carried out safely with no harm to you. Does that mean he does not love you??

2. You already have 3 kids. The bills are already a big burden. Money is tight, you have the mortgage to pay, utilities and other miscelleneous expenses. You get knocked up due to one night of unprotected sex. He is pleading with you to have an abortion so as not to drown himself with more responsibilities than he can handle at the moment. Does that mean he does not love you??

3. The dude is old. by the time the kid is 8, he will be retired and living on pension. You already 4 kids of both sexes in the the university or about to enter the university. He has planned his retirement and it does not include this kid. Does that mean he does not love you??

4. You are not strong enough to have this baby safely. Between you and the baby, he chooses you, and asks you to have an abortion. Would you do it??


Abortion is not necessarilly murder. the baby feels no pain whatsoever.

Thank you! You are one of the few that actually thinks outside the box.

My thoughts are, the man might not actually LIKE being a father. There are people like that, burdened by society and family to be parents when they don't actually want to be. So if he has two already, ignoring the financial  constraints of that, is it really out of place to suggest no more?

rokiatu:

YOUR KIDDING

No am not. Okija_juju's very right. In conditions like that, abortion's not such a bad thing.

k1banty:

i don't support abortion

there are adverts on billboards, tv, newspapers and all other media to practise safe sex.

always use a condom (very important)

after the birth of your first child, start family planning (various methods available)

use contraceptives-a woman has 24hrs after (unprotected) sex to make up her mind if she want to be pregnant or not.

abortion is not good and the side effects if not done properly are damaging and life threatening.

These so called contraceptives and family planning methods are not 100% effective. There could be mistakes and as far as I can tell, the side effects of abortion is not as bad as that of some of these contraceptives.

There r many reason he cld hav requested an abortion. .  . there are more than many reasons to hav an abortion. . .  but obviously d hormonal females on this forum cannot think outside their PMS induced emotions to see this. . .  

abortions arent such a bad thing for the right reason and under the right cricumstances!

HR.hotness:

There r many reason he cld hav requested an abortion. . . there are more than many reasons to hav an abortion. . . but obviously d hormonal females on this forum cannot think outside their PMS induced emotions to see this. . .

abortions arent such a bad thing for the right reason and under the right cricumstances!

Thank you O! jare. I was begining to think I was an alien.

Ujujoan:

These so called contraceptives and family planning methods are not 100% effective. There could be mistakes and as far as I can tell, [size=16pt]the side effects of abortion is not as bad as that of some of these contraceptives.

[/size]


Yet again I say thank you. I love to see women who actually see things in 3-Dimensions like you & not these 1-D chicks _{(If there is even such a thing as 1-D)}

Possibly for a medical reason? If i had to choose between my wife having a baby and possibly suffering complications and an abortion i'd choose to abort.

Ujujoan:

These so called contraceptives and family planning methods are not 100% effective. There could be mistakes and as far as I can tell, the side effects of abortion is not as bad as that of some of these contraceptives.

I think this is a very irresponsible message for an enlightened person to be putting out in 2008 about FP. I'm sorry but that is absolutely ridiculous. Like how can you be ok with abortion but not with contraceptives? How many abortions should a woman have before she does the necessary. I'm not saying that everyone should believe in using contraceptives but if you're not then be prepared to be pregnant and that's fine. What's not fine is like saying "Oh i can always have an abortion if I get pregnant because it's even less harsh on the body than contraceptives." That's bogus!

Many modern contraceptives are nearly 100% effective.  They're as effective as you can get. If you want to be responsible or if you've not discussed having another kid with your partner, you use them. Please. The ones that people tend to cite as not being effective are condoms (which are usually are ineffective as a result of inadequate or improper use) and the contraceptive pill (which is usually ineffective because the person missed days or was ill). Most methods recommended for married people who don't want to have any more children used in Nigeria are actually quite effective e.g. the Injectables, the IUD and Implants. I did my work experience for undergraduate at a primary health center in a periurban area in naij and the women there definitely knew to come for their injection or to come for their IUD to prevent pregnancy and space their children. Yes in there can be complications but it is rare that they are so serious or that they last a long time and they are not that common and certainly not as bad as abortion. You can't compare abortion to contraceptives. Depending on the age of the pregnancy, it can be a serious procedure and can have way worse complications than contraceptives even when they are legal and done in a hospital so thank you, but it's a bigger deal than contraceptives. An abortion is NOT better than the prevention of using contraceptives which is why you're supposed to get contraceptive counseling at your post-abortion care session.

@ Tatatse

Why don’t you take a look at my previous posts? I said Abortion is not such a bad thing . . . . if the reason is right. I never suggested using abortion as a means of contraceptive and I certainly didn’t say I’m not okay with contraceptives.

Someone said that the couple should have prevented the pregnancy using contraceptives if they didn’t want a child and abortion is not an option. That I object to!!!

No contraceptive is 100% effective and I’m glad you admitted to cases of complications however rare they might be. Just because they made a mistake with the contraceptive doesn’t mean they should have the baby.

I support abortion in cases of rape, risk to the mother, financial instability and genotypic misfortune. I’ll rather abort a foetus that deliver an SS.

As for risks, everything has a risk when done improperly. Abortions can be risky if it’s carried out by the wrong person in the wrong way . . . and the case is the same with contraceptives!!!!

@ Ujujoan

I may not agree with you on abortion but that's not the point here. I believe regarding that, it's a really sensitive issue and people feel so strongly about their point of view that its not really useful to go over whether its right or wrong. Everyone is entitled to their opinion in that sense. My point is I am concerned about the message you're giving about contraceptives. Millions and millions of women who use them find them quite effective. Actually apart from the pill and condoms, methods recommended for married people like implants, injections and especially the IUD are usually VERY effective because they eliminate consumer error. Maybe it's not what you mean, but it really comes across like you're saying contraceptives are not that effective and are risky and soooo many women who should really be using them are not because they have these misconceptions that are usually more fiction than fact. And just by the way, complications are more likely to occur from an abortion in naij (because of legal and social stigma issues with obtaining an abortion (if not for life-saving purposes) which means you have to be willing to PAY well in naij to get it done right meaning most women don't get it done right or if they do get it done right, they don't go for required follow up) than they are from contraceptive use (IUD has a failure rate of less than 1%) and the complications if they occur are obviously more serious in the case of abortion than they are with contraceptives.

If the wife is having utopia pregrancy which means her life is at risk I think she can go ahead and abort it based on medical diagnosis

Depends on the circumstances surrounding the preggie though am a pro-choice.

ifyalways:

Depends on the circumstances surrounding the preggie though am a pro-choice.

word!


why bring kids into the world to suffer when and if you cannot take care of them. It is possible that they can barely contain and take care of the 2-3 other kids that they have.

Well if we are marired we should both agree for wateva reason that d child is not coming at a gud time, and that we should hav been more careful. i think i wil consider his opinion, but at d end of d day, i really dont tink abortion is gud if we r already a family. there wuld av 2 be sum gud reasons not 2! im pro choice and all, but if my husband wants to spread my legs knowing deres no birth control, he cannot be surprised if im pregnant all of a sudden.