In The Absence Of Love Should Couples Still Remain Married? - Family - Nairaland
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| In The Absence Of Love Should Couples Still Remain Married? by dbisiback: 3:56pm On Sep 09, 2008 |
If after some time in marriage one of the couples realised that she or he has no love however little for the other person should they hang on in the marriage especially if they have children. might be that there was love before marriage and it died or that it was not really love in the first place. If after trying everything humanly possible for the one that no longer loves the other to try and have the love but the love is just no where to be found, shoud they leave amicably or hang up and pretend its fine even though they are like coleaques in the house? |
| Re: In The Absence Of Love Should Couples Still Remain Married? by MrCrackles(m): 3:58pm On Sep 09, 2008 |
they should try and l1ve amicably, even though it is not always going to be easy but at least for the children's sake, they should try! |
| Re: In The Absence Of Love Should Couples Still Remain Married? by Seun(m): 4:04pm On Sep 09, 2008 |
If they are fighting like cats and dogs and they despise each other, then divorce is an option. But if they are like "colleagues" in the house then what is the problem? Don't colleagues date? 1 Like |
| Re: In The Absence Of Love Should Couples Still Remain Married? by Nobody: 4:58pm On Sep 09, 2008 |
If a married couple fall out of love, and mutual respect goes with it. . . Regardless of whether there are children, that's no reason to stay together. Such couples may imagine they're staying together for the sake of the kids, but it seldom works. Kids aren't stupid, the parents may keep up the charade of the perfect couple, but the kids will know mom and dad don't like each other any more. There's also the risk of resentment setting in, the parents could begin to despise each other, and may even resent the children for being the cause of them being "trapped" in a loveless marriage. If they begin to argue, kids can often feel they're to blame! The children would be better off knowing their parents live apart, may be divorced, but they still have mutual respect. 4 Likes 2 Shares |
| Re: In The Absence Of Love Should Couples Still Remain Married? by Moyola(f): 5:02pm On Sep 09, 2008 |
@ topic No, but 4 d sake of the children, prolly should  |
| Re: In The Absence Of Love Should Couples Still Remain Married? by timbabng(m): 5:19pm On Sep 09, 2008 |
exactly |
| Re: In The Absence Of Love Should Couples Still Remain Married? by ken20(m): 2:21pm On Sep 10, 2008 |
There are actually sometimes in a marriage relationship when there will be no love affection. The best thing to do is to remain as friends as before the marriage. If they were friends before, it will bind them together but otherwise, it won't be palatable. This is why friends should marry each other. Build relationship on friendship but not on Love. Love goes with the physical features or attributes seen in a woman, but when those features are no longer there, it means love is lost automatically. My candid opinion is that they should be married still because what God has joined together, let no man put asunder englishpremiershipclubsfans.com/forum 2 Likes |
| Re: In The Absence Of Love Should Couples Still Remain Married? by Raimond(m): 3:23pm On Sep 10, 2008 |
Tough call!!! |
| Re: In The Absence Of Love Should Couples Still Remain Married? by Nobody: 9:20pm On Sep 10, 2008 |
I think they should go their seperate ways, while they can at least remain civil, and stay friends. |
| Re: In The Absence Of Love Should Couples Still Remain Married? by ayomifull(f): 11:14am On Sep 11, 2008 |
I wonder why some people remain married and leave miserable lives all in the name of 'for the sake of the kids'. Its good to have it working but if despite all effort it doesnt work why cant people amicably stay on their own and take care of the children irrespective of who they stay with? I witnessed a display of madness recently and cant stop wondering why ppl cant think with their heads and do away with this african rubbish that says for the sake of the kids stay married at all cost. I was ashamed to be present when a dispute was being settled for this couple when the husband was threatening to beat the hell out of his wife calling her 'ome ale' (bastard) and all that. This is a quiet and responsible lady, certified chattered accountant with good job and yet every little dispute the man pounces on her and then because of the kids and because her parents will frown at such she will never consider separation. Good luck to those who stay put despite the absence of love but think with your head, when you die of HB pressure life continues. 2 Likes |
| Re: In The Absence Of Love Should Couples Still Remain Married? by blackchief(m): 11:27am On Sep 11, 2008 |
MY OPTION *NO LOVE BUT PIECE IN THE HOUSE MARRIAGE CAN BE FOR THE SAKE OF THE CHILDRED FOR LOVE ALWAY COME BACK . *NO LOVE AND NO PIECE (BEATING , INSULT ETC) IN THE HOUSE THAN TIME FOR A SEPARATION |
| Re: In The Absence Of Love Should Couples Still Remain Married? by shezy(f): 1:33pm On Sep 11, 2008 |
Their will surely be something that attracted both of you together be4 going into marriage may be that thing is dead,do you believe you can still breathe new life into it?do you believeimmediately divorce set in,your childrens'life is at stake. pls try and rethink b4 any step. |
| Re: In The Absence Of Love Should Couples Still Remain Married? by ssRhino: 2:38pm On Sep 11, 2008 |
I dont think love alone shd be the basis for marriage, commitment is very important, so if they lose out on love and still committed, especially when kids are involved, they shd try to work it out, but if not possible, better to go on seperate ways, life is too short to be miserable with someone that you live with. Room-mating with your spouse, i think is the worse slavery. 1 Like |
| Re: In The Absence Of Love Should Couples Still Remain Married? by coolier(f): 10:57pm On Sep 12, 2008 |
NO. When there is no love, resentment sets in bringing in its wake a lot of criticisms, arguments and fights. |
| Re: In The Absence Of Love Should Couples Still Remain Married? by origina9ja(f): 1:48pm On Sep 15, 2008 |
Siena: skeen wat kind off friends  can dat work |
| Re: In The Absence Of Love Should Couples Still Remain Married? by babuji(f): 9:59pm On May 18, 2012 |
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| Re: In The Absence Of Love Should Couples Still Remain Married? by Gambrosia: 11:51am On Jan 20, 2013 |
Double postage? Deleted!  |
| Re: In The Absence Of Love Should Couples Still Remain Married? by Gambrosia: 11:51am On Jan 20, 2013 |
FINANCIAL SECURITY! NA LOVE ME AND MY PIKINS DEM GO SSSSSSHOP AS A REAAAAAAL AFRICAN WOMAN?  I think I love myself too much to know the difference. When I love myself too much to care. . . how is it then possible that I can have a loveless relationship with others? Some of us are GIVERS of love. . . .and are too busy sharing to care. . . or feel the absence of love! Only people who are 'love-starved' would think marriage should be based on LOVE ALONE! Bottom line? [size=20pt]ALL COUPLES WILL FALL OUT OF LOVE DURING THE TENURE OF MATRIMONY. . . BUT SUBCONSCIOUSLY. . . YOU ARE FALLING IN LOVE AND GETTING USED TO EACH OTHER. . . .  PLEASE DON'T BE DECEIVED BY JUVENILE HOLY-HOLY NWENJE FAKE AZZZES ON OR OFFLINE O! ALL NA TO POSE. . .SOME AIN'T EVEN MARRIED! . . . .BUT ARE EXPERTS IN GIVING THE MOST 'WONDERFOOOOOOL ADVICE'. . . SOME CHRONIC DIE-VORCEES WITHOUT HOPES OF REPLACEMENTS!!! [/size]There are too many other things you should worry about like YOUR CHILDREN WHO MAY TURN BASTARDS WHEN YOU DECIDE TO SPLIT! It is not all about the spouses. [size=20pt]Finally. . . A MISERABLE MARRIAGE IS ALWAYS BETTER THAN A SWEET DIVORCE! BEING SINGLE WITHOUT GETTING MARRIED IS ALWAYS BETTER THAN GETTING MARRIED AND BECOMING SINGLE AFTER MARRIAGE!!![/size] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UrPGhOivVEU No matter how bad you think your spouse is. . . there is something YOU WILL MISS ABOUT HIM OR HER AFTER YOU SPLIT. No one can replace that. There are somethings my husband has done for me that NO OTHER MAN CAN DO OR COULD HAVE DONE. . .I AM FOREVER GRATEFUL AND INDEBTED. . .I MARRIED A HUMAN BEING WITH A HEART AND A SOUL!!!! LOVE. . . ? I AM STILL FALLING IN LOVE WITH MY HUSBAND EVEN AFTER OVER 10 YEARS OF MARITAL 'BLISS'!  What do Nigerian know about LOVE. . .OR AFRICANS FOR THAT MATTER? Why do we keep deceiving ourselves? When you are born in the POOREST parts of the world like Nigeria for example. . . it is virtually impossible to give, receive and appreciate love. MAY MY AGNOSTIC GAAAAAD continue to bless my parents for bringing us to the greatest country in the world. . .THE USA! Only till I started residing here, did I understand the true meaning of LOVE. . . IN THE ABSENCE OF MATERIAL AND SPIRITUAL POVERTY! No going back!!!! NEVER!!!!! 5 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: In The Absence Of Love Should Couples Still Remain Married? by ifyalways(f): 1:26pm On Jan 20, 2013 |
Love is NOT all there is to survive or live as "happy couple". Been there, done that. Its an emotion that's unstable but when mutual respect, great friendship is constant and maintained,love gradually gets back into the equation. So, Yes its possible to stay happily and peacefully in a loveless marriage. 1 Like |
| Re: In The Absence Of Love Should Couples Still Remain Married? by EfemenaXY: 1:35pm On Jan 20, 2013 |
dbisiback: If after some time in marriage one of the couples realised that she or he has no love however little for the other person should they hang on in the marriage especially if they have children. might be that there was love before marriage and it died or that it was not really love in the first place. If after trying everything humanly possible for the one that no longer loves the other to try and have the love but the love is just no where to be found, shoud they leave amicably or hang up and pretend its fine even though they are like coleaques in the house? What is love? How do you define love? Without mistaking it for Lust? There is a lot more to a successful marriage than love alone. Love is just one of many things (such as respect, understanding, maturity, tolerance, friendship, etc) that helps build up a healthy, successful marriage. Love though, is the icing on the cake. |
| Re: In The Absence Of Love Should Couples Still Remain Married? by lezz(m): 10:57am On Sep 27, 2015 |
Siena:I believe Children are better off in a loveless marriage where the couple still leave together than in divorced circumstance. |
| Re: In The Absence Of Love Should Couples Still Remain Married? by Nobody: 11:16am On Sep 27, 2015 |
[size=18pt]What is LOVE? [/size] |
| Re: In The Absence Of Love Should Couples Still Remain Married? by sisisioge: 1:01pm On Sep 27, 2015 |
Hmmmm, threads like this always make me less zealous about getting hitched. I will give anything to marry a true friend. A guy that rocks my world and I his.If all is lost, then taking the walk might be the only redemption. Whew! |
| Re: In The Absence Of Love Should Couples Still Remain Married? by KanwuliaJara: 1:00am On Sep 28, 2015 |
What do you envision is NIGERIA together? BUHARI? |
| Re: In The Absence Of Love Should Couples Still Remain Married? by KanwuliaJara: 1:03am On Sep 28, 2015 |
Gambrosia: Chai !!!!!!! I don reassssssh hia already?  |
| Re: In The Absence Of Love Should Couples Still Remain Married? by Hannysmilez(f): 1:21pm On Sep 29, 2015 |
Speaking 4rm experience love/romance is not the basis of a good marriage. If you trust,understand,support nd flow with ur partner. Love or no love,itz def. gonna workout. |
| Re: In The Absence Of Love Should Couples Still Remain Married? by EfemenaXY: 4:45pm On Oct 04, 2015 |
KanwuliaJara: Yes na. Na you type all that up there. Insightful stuff, KJ  |
| Re: In The Absence Of Love Should Couples Still Remain Married? by KanwuliaJara: 6:57pm On Oct 04, 2015 |
EfemenaXY: Nne! Pesin don taaaaaaay for dis NL o! |
| Re: In The Absence Of Love Should Couples Still Remain Married? by EfemenaXY: 6:59pm On Oct 04, 2015 |
KanwuliaJara: I'm telling you - it's been overrun by kids. Everytime I type something, I can't help thinking I'm responding to some 15 year old teenager still wet behind the ears.  KJ, we don old for this place. Mtcheew.Anyway, howdy babes? |
| Re: In The Absence Of Love Should Couples Still Remain Married? by KanwuliaJara: 7:07pm On Oct 04, 2015 |
EfemenaXY: Tell me abourrrrrrrit! NL don BAJE pass EKO I swear! But all good things have ends abi? And BAAAAAAD things too!!!! AMEN!!!! Without healthy interactions based on genuine empathy, no hope for any social medium o! Baby mi! I dey KAMKPEEEEEEE!!!! Husband don turn "fish bone" for throat tey tey! 1 Like |
| Re: In The Absence Of Love Should Couples Still Remain Married? by EfemenaXY: 7:14pm On Oct 04, 2015 |
KanwuliaJara: Lmao @ "fishbone"! Re: Nairaland, na to dey view mostly and contribute occasionally... |
| Re: In The Absence Of Love Should Couples Still Remain Married? by KanwuliaJara: 8:03pm On Oct 04, 2015 |
EfemenaXY: Na soooooo o! Efrybarry go go fine real job at last! 1 Like |
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