My neigbors mother-in-law is coming from Nigeria next week. I have tried to teach her some simple greetings but she refuses to learn yoruba. I have also told her that she will need to kneel in front of her mother-in-law when comes to show respect. She refuses.

I am respectful and will show her her due respect but my question is: By me kneeling and greeting her in her language is that showing disrespect to my neighbor, who is also my friend? How will the mother-in-law view this behavior from me? I don't want to look like a fool?

Any suggestions. I don't want any embarrasment to fall on my husband's shoulders because his wife did not show respect to her. If that makes any sense to you.

your neighbour's mother-in-law is none of your business.
Sit in your own house. Na small small wahala dey start.

quick kneel aka the one that doesnt reach the ground

Not your fault your neighbor's a twit.

The problem is i am over there all the time.  We are really close friends.  We prepare our meals together and eat together and share together.

Do i just stay away the entire time my neigbors are entertaining thier family?  That is not how it normally is.

sistawoman:

The problem is i am over there all the time. We are really close friends. We prepare our meals together and eat together and share together.

Do i just stay away the entire time my neigbors are entertaining their family? That is not how it normally is.

then just do whatever your neighbour does. I'm sure her husband must have discussed this issue with her so if he feels its ok then dont go pour petrol into the fire by playing the "respectful" wife.

I would one-up her

davidylan:

then just do whatever your neighbour does. I'm sure her husband must have discussed this issue with her so if he feels its ok then don't go pour petrol into the fire by playing the "respectful" wife.

When she meets my husband she will know that he is Nigerian.  How that reflect on me if i dont show her respect?  

I am sure the mother would not expect an African American to understand the customs but the fact that I am married to a Nigerian and dont show her the respect she deserves would be uncivilized.  Right?  and reflect badly on my husband and myself?

sistawoman, i guess its just me but i dont believe in interfering with other people. i dont understand why my neighbour's mother-in-law wants to meet me. For what?
Save your respect for when your own mother-in-law is around.

KarmaMod:

I would one-up her

To be totally honest i envy her.  Both my in-laws are dead and I will never get the opprotunity to meet or great them.  For her to squander this opportunity and refuse to even great her in her native tongue is just dishearting to me.  She does not respect his culture or him for that matter, JMO, because she refuses to cook his food, or eat it, learn his language, follow his culture or show him the respect as the head of her house.  And she wonders why he is running around with a Nigerian woman at her back?

sistawoman:


To be totally honest i envy her. Both my in-laws are dead and I will never get the opprotunity to meet or great them. For her to squander this opportunity and refuse to even great her in her native tongue is just dishearting to me. She does not respect his culture or him for that matter, JMO, because she refuses to cook his food, or eat it, learn his language, follow his culture or show him the respect as the head of her house. And she wonders why he is running around with a Nigerian woman at her back?

hahaha what a silly woman. The man sef na wa. Funny that the black women here are more notorious for this . . . na sack letter straight the day you complain about my food.

I say to ignore your neighbour. You're so much into her business that you know everything that goes on in that house. You're better off taking care of your own family.

your neighbour's mother-in-law is none of your business.
Sit in your own house. Na small small wahala dey start.

abi ooo, this is tantamount to gbegele.

idupaul:

abi ooo, this is tantamount to gbegele.

please explain

sistawoman:

please explain

Gbegele means eermmm ermmmm ermmm


amebo or busy body

davidylan:

hahaha what a silly woman. The man sef na wa. Funny that the black women here are more notorious for this . . . na sack letter straight the day you complain about my food.

I say to ignore your neighbour. You're so much into her business that you know everything that goes on in that house. You're better off taking care of your own family.

We are close friends we are like one family.  We live in townhomes.  See the picture below.  The green door, purple door and white doors are all enterences to different houses.  Our homes are very simular to these except we have front porches.  There is no way to avoid her w/o staying away from home.

I could not attach a picture but here is video of what our rowhomes/townhomes look like in Baltimore

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RJBXtO9tawY

here is what our porches look like. Notice you go from one to the next to the next. The post man when delivering the mail just steps over the wall to deliver the mail from house to house.

Amebo. Honestly this is just crazy. You want to go to someone else's house to start trouble. You are going there to start something that she will have to deal with for the rest of her life. It is none of your business if the woman sees you as disrespectful afterall what is she to you. You really are just being a pest in that marriage. Who are you to decide if she respects the man or takes him for granted. With friends like you who needs enemies? Unbelievable.