*cough cough*.

Uhmm what if u have the guy's picture? Will u return it? Or her picture or something? Personally i'll put it in my journal.

i believe dat is what the closet is meant for.

@ hot angel's question--I would return the picture. A similar thing happened when I broke up with my ex.I simply returned the pictures to him and took mine back because in my opinion,what on earth am I using your picture to do?When I am moving out of my parents' home to mine,what would I be doing with your pic in my husband's house?I surely will not burn them,so the best thing to do would be to return them and maybe take my own back.Not everyone will agree with my view,but thats just my two cents.

well gifts like cards and other small things i burn em up.
for the pix my ex didnt want his back so i tore em up and burnt em,
there's no use cryin over spilt milk
sometimes this little gifts haunt you when you low if you come across them

mukina2:

well gifts like cards and other small things i burn em up.
for the pix my ex didnt want his back so i tore em up and burnt em,
there's no use cryin over spilt milk
sometimes this little gifts haunt you when you low if you come across them

exactly. all you have to do is get rid of dem. or else the guy'll think u still like him

Am not a guy but ima reply all the same. You don't take gifts back and if it is a ring, if u break it off she keeps it and if she does she giveS it back at least thats how its done in the US of A. ok now, do u give her back all the goddies from down there? if u know what i mean or will u give her back all the that u got??

@ babe1, was she doing it to herself? What about the 'oganwa' she got from his pole? Relationship is twosome and if it doesn't work any more, we should part and sometimes with what we came togther with.

Hi guys,

I was with a man for three years. We decided to get married and in 3 yeas being friend and engaged we had bought lots of gifts for eachother. But he started behaving weird 6 months before marrige and it really made me mad. In new year eve we were together at a restaurant (expensive) and after 12:00 PM when couples started kissing, hugging and celeberating the new year he was kissing other people and completely forgot about me. It really pissed me off and it was the beginning of the end. 10 days later he said ON THE PHONE he does not want to marry me and he did not want to marry since the beginning! then he disappeared for three weeks. I wrote him an email and asked him please send my books and cloths I had left in your house by post and I will do the same with your cloths in my place. In the answer he called me and said I will bring them one day and take my stuff and I asked about his stuff ! he said well I want my gifts back! It really made me upset. I returned the ring and other jewlleries he had bought me but I did not return birthdate gifts. He returned most of my gifts, birthday gifts, marriage gifts even my parents gifts! For me it meant so childish, foolish, and humiliating. What about the memories we shared! Interesting point is he has kept few of my personal stuff not gifts over there in his place! The way he acted was interesting he did not want to marry me but he pretended it is me breaking up with him! so he should return whatever I have bought for him and I should do the same. Men are so strange sometime!

hmmm!!! i wanted reserve my comment but just want to say some thing for the record. guys, please, if you are in the habit, desist from it. it bad omen. believe me.

cheers.

*THERE ARE EXCEPTIONS!

I dont think a lady would want to see someone she's invested a few years in walk away with the car or property she bought him(as gifts), only to drive his new girlfriend round town or live in it. lets be realistic!

For me, she can keep gifts, but not gifts like a car, or landed property. These i gave (out of love) to make life easy because i though we were gonna spend the rest of our lives together. But if she's walking away, then they have to be returned, unfortunately.

ahhh dumb thing to do, did you borrow to buy the gifts?

taking back the gift after break up makes no sense. just let go because u can't also take back the lovely moments u shared together.

olrotimi:

ahhh dumb thing to do, did you borrow to buy the gifts?

I can't believe you can be so dumb to link this to finacial status, its not about the cost of the gift mr millonaire, but the fact that what you gave as an "expression of love" from your heart is taken into another relationship, to be used. Its totall disrespect to the man or the lady,bothways. A man/lady with sense will return them without being asked. That was why i stated car, & property, which can be used in another relationship by the new partner. In addition, the engagement ring has to be returned aswell.

*Not the bags/shoes or expensive trips u had together. you dumb!

My friuend i can't collect anything from you o.
So u have a diary u write all that ur ex or ur girl benefit from you .
I wonder how u'll take the consumed items back.Maybe she will take you to the eatary the number of times u've taken her.LOL

diphor:

My friuend i can't collect anything from you o.
So u have a diary u write all that your ex or your girl benefit from you .
I wonder how u'll take the consumed items back.Maybe she will take you to the eatary the number of times u've taken her.LOL

lol!
we all can't see it from the same angle. But its not about the costs!

what would I be taking them back for?

it depends, if its a car i bought for her, ill gladly take it back so she will know, we parting is at a cost.
She will need to readjust her life, jump kabukabu like never before

Like Seun rightly pointed out earlier on, all R/ships not heading to marriage is only bidding time. So how do u deal with this kind of situation. take my word:

---

never give what you cannot leave!

djcrucifix:

why should you take the gift you bought for her back?, it will just comfirm you to be an immature loser.

Thank u. Just wht I was thinking.

Fair enough if he wants them back. If not, it's a bit silly.

tkb417:

it depends, if its a car i bought for her, ill gladly take it back so she will know, we parting is at a cost.
She will need to readjust her life, jump kabukabu like never before

Bwahahahahahaha!!!! OMG! This is why I love nairaland. Peeps just can't but crack me up.

lets personalize this now. i am all for leaving things. cell phones and stuff like that are small things.

i dated some lady years ago. helped got a flat i was paying for. she choose to end the relationship because according to her she wants to be married within a year. sadly i was after setting up a business so  was  going through enough stress to add marrying. the lease was a rolling 2 years lease with 8months left. this  i duly paid up as it was in my name.                              we are talking £1400 pcm for 8 months

i also had a car worth £21k with i think about £9000 loan she was using. at £650 x 8 months do the maths.
she was working and earning good money that can easily fund these 2 needs. 

at expiry of the lease she wanted me continue paying for the lease. was this fair and would you have done that?  she also pretended she didn't know the money for the car repayment was coming out of my account. i gave her enough chance to take over the repayment because i would rather loose the car than continue the repayment she opted for the 2nd option and i allowed it so they can take the car. at least i got back about £10k which was a forced sale value.

her excuse for all of this was that i moved her into a lifestyle she cannot afford so pay for it. thank God my bank managers hear instructions.

i know to some ladies these are figures but i don't think it is fair to pay for what you don't have any interest/benefits in.

i do expect to be taken for a ride but some sisters don't know fair play.  sadly she went ahead and married some lovely guy and last time i heard they are divorced after 15months. i don't know what happened but i thank God i escaped that hurt.   she did try to make us remain "friends" which i kindly declined.  i was born in the night but definately not yesternight my mother raised us to treat people nicely but not to be fools.   

be fair that is all most guys ask for. would i do that again of course yes. she was just a misguided human being and sadly too many about. lets stop loving in words only but in truth and in actions.

that woman was a bare faced thief, a criminal

but bros you sef do mumu - paying all that money and rent for a woman who you did not propose to??

And the thieving long-throat had the effrontery to ask you to keep paying for the car? Chai man don suffer o!

Thats throwing money down the drain if you ask me. Never get unduly financially committed in a relationship till you are well on the way to making it a permanent one.

you 'moved her into a lifestyle' yet she dumped you??

Bros thank God you escaped that woman - she sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.

@ topic

I don't take back gifts, they are gifts and are not to be returned. On the other hand, financial arrangements such as paying phone bills or rent and the like will stop immediately. . .that is if I was even gullible enough to begin those in the first instance. Any woman who is not yet my wife or in the process of becoming my wife (i.e formal proposal) is NOT deserving of that level of financial commitment.

na onitsha Joshjosh's ex come from.

I concur wholeheartedly with Debosky's point of view.
No financial commitments until she has the ring.

thanks guys. let's be serious. she is no thief nor criminal. she is a very fine lady that impatience took hold of. the business here is you cannot just get a flat when you come from naija immediately. we all had to squat at one time or the other. the lady she was living with was marrying and bringing the guy in to live with her so the only alternative i had was her moving in with me which was 100% looking for trouble.

personally, i cannot sleep very comfortably knowing the other half wasn't taken care of. we were stable and committed. i was not ready to marry because others were marrying plus i had loads of things to do with my life at that time. i have seen friends dragged into lets just marry and do it small that went too large you begin to wonder what would have happened if they set out doing it big.

i wish i knew some of you guys then. funny how you feel being taken for a ride. unlike back home here you are still left with paying bills for phone and satelite contracts. there are gifts and there gifts. imaturity has nothing to do with it. my principle is never leave anyone poorer than you met them. but leave you have to with most people. why must you jump on a bus going now where? your life and time is a terrible thing to waste.

God has blessed me with a fabulous lady we will be marrying later this year and discussing this topic with her yesterday she said thank God for her which we always do. i am so glad and can't wait.

you come across various people along life's pathway. i am glad i was there for her because if she was my sister or daughter i would have liked some young man to have done the same but probably cut off the bills earlier than i did because it did become messy and stressful trying to have a clean break. i have sowed my seed and waiting for the harvest.

Nope thats so petty - but however, i did take back ma tape which had all ma nija jams on it.
I didnt really give him, i borrowed him so it was only rite i took it back cause it had ma jam on it - sambo ribobo by sauce kid on it.

It is called a gift, cos it has been given out and it means it is no more yours, so you cant take it back and if you wanna take it back, law backs who now holds it, he day u gave it out, it siezes to be yours.
Even in a common law relationship, u cant take everything back, it is 50:50 ratio

Why would any1 consider taking back a gift??^{just can't understand. do guyz really do this??}