Child Custody Issues: What Do You Advise? - Family - Nairaland
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| Child Custody Issues: What Do You Advise? by ameenahz(f): 5:25pm On Jul 26, 2014 |
Hello, fathers and mothers. A friend of mine needs advice. She and the father of her child have been separated for 4 years now. I call him that because they were never married. It was a case of teenage sex gone wrong and she moved in with him. When things went wrong, she was financially better off so she left him and took her child, a girl, with her. 2 years later, the man more or less kidnapped the child on one of his visits and has refused to let her see her daughter but agreed to let them talk on phone. Since then, there has been no peace. He remarried but it seems the new woman was maltreating the child so the child has been living with one uncle or the other (the father himself says so whenever she demands to talk to her daughter) and the mother is not comfortable with that. Now, the real problem is this: the father called today for her to talk to child (as per their agreement) only for the child to tell her mother that she doesn't know her and that she should not look for her because her father told her she said she never wants to see her again which is absolutely untrue. Now what do you think the mother should do? Sue for custody or go take the child by force? The child is already 9years old and the mother isn't finacially buoyant at the moment. |
| Re: Child Custody Issues: What Do You Advise? by ameenahz(f): 6:17pm On Jul 26, 2014 |
Somebody, please say something TV01, efemenaxy1, chaircover, alutacontinua, greatgod2012, sissie, maclatunji, tbaba1234, deols, sino, kulyie, egopersonified |
| Re: Child Custody Issues: What Do You Advise? by Nobody: 6:19pm On Jul 26, 2014 |
if the lady really wants her daughter back as she claims she should have taken all necessary measures to get her back when the incidence first happen by reporting it to the police as a kidnap case (coz that is how I See it). though she can take that step now by involving the police. she should look for money go to his family..... infact she can do her investigation by knowing where the girl is and then kidnap her tooo...... no time for nonsense 1 Like 1 Share |
| Re: Child Custody Issues: What Do You Advise? by maclatunji: 6:56pm On Jul 26, 2014 |
She can get a decent lawyer or go to the child welfare department in the state that she lives. |
| Re: Child Custody Issues: What Do You Advise? by tbaba1234: 7:03pm On Jul 26, 2014 |
So for 2 years, she has not seen her child. I do not blame the child for being detached especially if she has been fed with negative things about the mum. I don't know how custody cases work in Nigeria but court cases take a long time generally. I will enquire about custody cases in Nigeria now. I'd be able to give a better response. |
| Re: Child Custody Issues: What Do You Advise? by sammoR: 7:33pm On Jul 26, 2014 |
Custody issues are very messy in divorce. Buh from all I've learned, its better 2have ur peace, pray for the child that God should keep her 4u even where she is. Except the dad is very irresponsible and the child's growin up 2be a good person is threatened. It's God that takes care of children even tho parents have everythin to do with shaping them. U find some so called pastors' children or children with highly disciplined parents still turning out rotten. Is the girl in good hands? If yes, keep your peace. She will grow up n definitely ask for her mother. It's both ways. For now, the lady shld work hard at putting her life back 2gether. Move on, marry n all. Its difficult i know but be wise. Dis life is short n passes quickly. Issues such as this if not properly dealt with have d tendency 2sap ur life of all reason for living. It's well. |
| Re: Child Custody Issues: What Do You Advise? by egopersonified(f): 7:39pm On Jul 26, 2014 |
This is very important after every seperation, make sure your ex doesnt have the opportunity to take yr kid away without your consent. Most times people do this just to spite their partners not that they are after the welfare of the child. She can try the courts, I dont really know how that works in nigeria. Another option is getting her family members to talk to his family in his absence so they talk to him. Since the child is moved from one home to the other, she can say she is ready to take full responsibility and bring the child to visit him every three months. I guess she wasnt letting d child see the dad enough thatz y he 'kidnapped' her. If she has a good relationship with him, which I doubt, she can let him see reasons why she needs the child. Like dorosola said, she shd have reported when he first took her, then she would have had an upper hand. |
| Re: Child Custody Issues: What Do You Advise? by sammoR: 7:42pm On Jul 26, 2014 |
Didnt really read d last part. If ur daughter is being maltreated, my dear u need a lawyer. U have a very good case. Do all u can 2gather evidence n save that child before u wake up one day and hear she is dead. Moreover, she might grow up with self esteem issues and all that. Get a lawyer and get ur child out of there. And u dont need a big name 2do that. Just get a brilliant lawyer 2put a case 2gether. Might take a while but remember what ur focus is. U'd probably spend like N200k. All these chambers just being put up by young lawyers can do it for u. First dey put d case 2gether, serve him d notice, give a 30 day period for him 2respond b4 a hearing is fixed. U can start after d court vacation in August. All d best sammoR: Custody issues are very messy in divorce. Buh from all I've learned, its better 2have ur peace, pray for the child that God should keep her 4u even where she is. Except the dad is very irresponsible and the child's growin up 2be a good person is threatened. It's God that takes care of children even tho parents have everythin to do with shaping them. U find some so called pastors' children or children with highly disciplined parents still turning out rotten. Is the girl in good hands? If yes, keep your peace. She will grow up n definitely ask for her mother. It's both ways. For now, the lady shld work hard at putting her life back 2gether. Move on, marry n all. Its difficult i know but be wise. Dis life is short n passes quickly. Issues such as this if not properly dealt with have d tendency 2sap ur life of all reason for living. It's well. |
| Re: Child Custody Issues: What Do You Advise? by pickabeau1: 8:33pm On Jul 26, 2014 |
maclatunji: She can get a decent lawyer or go to the child welfare department in the state that she lives.
4 Likes |
| Re: Child Custody Issues: What Do You Advise? by ameenahz(f): 8:58pm On Jul 26, 2014 |
Thank you, everybody. |
| Re: Child Custody Issues: What Do You Advise? by Sissie(f): 12:54am On Jul 27, 2014 |
That phone call conversation was probably planned by the father, he told the daughter what to say either by threatening her or something and your friend should not believe the daughter doesn't want anything to do with her. If she doesn't have money to sue for custody, she can try to involve both families especially his parents and elders to intervene and help her get the child back. And she can also contact child welfare services. 1 Like |
| Re: Child Custody Issues: What Do You Advise? by Eshyy(m): 7:17pm On Dec 09, 2014 |
Ur fwend no sabi the man popsy & mumsy? Her pikin grandparents or any older person 4 d fams? |
| Re: Child Custody Issues: What Do You Advise? by gbolahanoluyemi(m): 3:56pm On Jul 18, 2017 |
send an email to lawcandles@gmail.com. You will get help |
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