Hello, it Is gud to be here to share dis issue bothering me. Am new on nairaland and I love d frank advises n d fun spirit ere. D issue isMyself n my husband attend d same church,buh after we got married,he stopped following me and started attending anoda church . I tried asking him y , buh he couldn't give me a reason.anytim I ask him if I can follow him buh he says no.pls, wat can I do.

Its not.

But if you guys can do it without complaints then no wahala.

If he doesn't tell you, you wont know so try to find out his reason and then you will know or ask us what to do

When u had an understanding......... u can do what u wanna do
but it would have being better if u do go to church 2geder on some occansion if u do attend different churches sha

d tin is if he likes he attend mine,n m ok wit it buh he is always. Against me coming to his church, if I want to go..... Dt is y m concerned.

Do you still pray together as a family?

cutiesoglam: Hello, it Is gud to be here to share dis issue bothering me. Am new on nairaland and I love d frank advises n d fun spirit ere. D issue isMyself n my husband attend d same church,buh after we got married,he stopped following me and started attending anoda church . I tried asking him y , buh he couldn't give me a reason.anytim I ask him if I can follow him buh he says no.pls, wat can I do.

Hmm. Smell the coffee. He even told u not to follow him? Means he's not comfortable with u coz he's prolly seeing another lady there.

Tallesty1: Do you still pray together as a family?

.
Yes, we do pray toggether

Hmm. Smell the coffee. He even told u not to follow him? Means he's not comfortable with u coz he's prolly seeing another lady there.
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Well, I v tout abt dt too thou. Buh wat can I do? I beta hp not..

deltateam:

Hmm. Smell the coffee. He even told u not to follow him? Means he's not comfortable with u coz he's prolly seeing another lady there.

You just concluded so fast. Please eh,be careful with the suggestions you give before you plant the seed of suspicion in the op's mind. @Op biko go back and ask you husband again and this time sit him down and talk it out with him. If he still refuses to give a reasonable answer,just let him be and ensure you guys prayer together and if possible discuss whatever topic was thought/preached in both churches.

And you dnt know the way to the church urself?

deltateam:
Hmm. Smell the coffee. He even told u not to follow him? Means he's not comfortable with u coz he's prolly seeing another lady there.

Uhmmmnn.... Am scared dis may be true. How long are u guys married? Its gud couples attend same church, dine frm same spiritual table n share same belief. U av to patiently sort things out. God give u wisdom. Meanwhile, the counsellors r on their way, they'll be here soon

Tell him you have stopped going to your church and that this new church enriches you more spiritually, their preaching makes more sense, the choir is better, they dont demand too much money and join a department the next time you go there. If he still refuses, tell him if he wants to go alone that u would allow him leave the house first, then leave ten mins later. When you pray, pray for this new church and their pastors as if tomorrow no dey. Dont back out ohh, be persistent.

Meestique: And you dnt know the way to the church urself?

Lool. I do. Buh I dont want to go suddenly so dt it. Ouldnt be as if I don't trust him n am tryin to stalk him and tryin to finding dirt ..... U knw ow men can b

beau49: You just concluded so fast. Please eh,be careful with the suggestions you give before you plant the seed of suspicion in the op's mind. @Op biko go back and ask you husband again and this time sit him down and talk it out with him. If he still refuses to give a reasonable answer,just let him be and ensure you guys prayer together and if possible discuss whatever topic was thought/preached in both churches.

Are you daft or something? Am talking from a guy's perspective.

He wouldn't tell his wife not to accompany if all was right.

deltateam:

Are you daft or something? Am talking from a guy's perspective.

He wouldn't tell his wife not to accompany if all was right.

I v a feeling u might b rite!cos he takes going der reli personal.

cutiesoglam:
Lool. I do. Buh I dont want to go suddenly so dt it. Ouldnt be as if I don't trust him n am tryin to stalk him and tryin to finding dirt ..... U knw ow men can b

Op you left out key details. How long did you court him before marriage? How long have you been married? Is he born again?
Does he smoke/drink?

deltateam:

Am i daft or something? Am talking from a guy's perspective.

He wouldn't tell his wife not to accompany if all was right.

You can try using google to answer the question you asked up there. Just because you do it does not make others guilty of the same crime. Like I said @Op talk to your husband again.

cutiesoglam:

I v a feeling u might b rite!cos he takes going der reli personal.

While I wait for your answers to my questions.I need you to prepare your mind/heart should he be actually cheating on you.

You can choose to forgive/divorce him.Why am concerned is I had a relative who cheated on his wife and transmitted hiv to her.He died and she later followed months later.

You can have him monitored but don't involve any of your female friends in this.

cutiesoglam:
Lool. I do. Buh I dont want to go suddenly so dt it. Ouldnt be as if I don't trust him n am tryin to stalk him and tryin to finding dirt ..... U knw ow men can b

See how people use their hands to look for trouble? Do you have any reason at all to think he could possibly be cheating on you? Why would you be looking for dirt? And if you eventually find out the dirt what will you do? You better really think about the consequences of your actions before carrying them out. People are different,you can't use A1 actions to judge A2. They might look similar but are different.

This strange.
Why wouldn't he want that?

cutiesoglam: d tin is if he likes he attend mine,n m ok wit it buh he is always. Against me coming to his church, if I want to go..... Dt is y m concerned.

Normally men get upset when their wives insist on going to another church.
You offered to follow him willingly even though he's the one that left first.
It's fishy. Really

cococandy: This strange.
Why wouldn't he want that?

Normally men get upset when their wives insist on going to another church.
You offered to follow him willingly even though he's the one that left first.
It's fishy. Really

No its not fishy. Its meaty.

it is normal to some couples but to me it is not normal. Well the issue of couples attending separate churches is not even a problem now per se, the problem is coming to church with the same car and sitting beside each other during church service. There was a woman that was disturbed about this problem. Her husband will always ask her to go to church that he his coming behind her, after about 30minutes that the woman have left with the kids, the man will now leave. so one Sunday, the woman hid herself somewhere around the entrance gate and was waiting for her husband to come. Her husband got to church as usual bubbling. Then he went to sit somewhere in one corner, a very strategic location for viewing the whole fine girls in the church. While his wife went to sit at a very good location to monitor what her husband is doing in church. According to the woman, her husband was looking left and right, left and right during the service and eye-ing all the fine girls in church. During prayers he sat down on his sit instead of standing up with is eyes wide Open still starring at women. You know how women can be now, madam couldn't take it anymore, she stood from her sit and went straight to where her husband was sitting, placed her two hands on his head and turned the head to the front and shouted "Darling, Face your front". Husband was so so embarrassed and shocked. The woman did not stop there, she went ahead to report to the pastor and pastor called husband to confirm what the wife came to tell him. The husband didn't deny and so Pastor had no choice than to make an announcement in the church asking couples to sit together and that if any of the couple refuse be it wife or husband, they can come and report the matter to him and he will handle it. You need to see the way women were rejoicing and applauding the directive giving by the pastor (most of the women I saw were married women though). He further went ahead to say couples must come to church in one car and they must wear the same attire if it is native

bennyrazz: it is normal to some couples but to me it is not normal. Well the issue of couples attending separate churches is not even a problem now per se, the problem is coming to church with the same car and sitting beside each other during church service. There was a woman that was disturbed about this problem. Her husband will always ask her to go to church that he his coming behind her, after about 30minutes that the woman have left with the kids, the man will now leave. so one Sunday, the woman hid herself somewhere around the entrance gate and was waiting for her husband to come. Her husband got to church as usual bubbling. Then he went to sit somewhere in one corner, a very strategic location for viewing the whole fine girls in the church. While his wife went to sit at a very good location to monitor what her husband is doing in church. According to the woman, her husband was looking left and right, left and right during the service and eye-ing all the fine girls in church. During prayers he sat down on his sit instead of standing up with is eyes wide Open still starring at women. You know how women can be now, madam couldn't take it anymore, she stood from her sit and went straight to where her husband was sitting, placed her two hands on his head and turned the head to the front and shouted "Darling, Face your front". Husband was so so embarrassed and shocked. The woman did not stop there, she went ahead to report to the pastor and pastor called husband to confirm what the wife came to tell him. The husband didn't deny and so Pastor had no choice than to make an announcement in the church asking couples to sit together and that if any of the couple refuse be it wife or husband, they can come and report the matter to him and he will handle it. You need to see the way women were rejoicing and applauding the directive giving by the pastor (most of the women I saw were married women though). He further went ahead to say couples must come to church in one car and they must wear the same attire if it is native

this your story sweet sha oo
Benny Benny, you ever considered getting a job with Nollywood?

alutacontinua:


this your story sweet sha oo
Benny Benny, you ever considered getting a job with Nollywood?

I did not make up the story if that's what you are thinking

The man is hiding something, you can bury your head in the sand like someone suggested or face your reality.


I will be in that church waiting for him one these Sundays if I were you,tuck yourself in a discrete corner and zoom from there. Who introduced him to that church, do you know who?

modified.

I see everybody talking about infidelity here of which it might be something else.

Op. I think you need to do something fast so as to be sure your husband has not fallen into wrong hands, I mean a diabolic church where they use jazz on there members.

Try finding out the name and address of the church and do an underground findings on the church. May God keep your home, commit all to God in prayers and do your part.

Thanks yall. I reli appreciate d concern, so late last nite, I woke him up dt I v. An important issuee to talk to him abt. So I toldhim my mind. N he was lik he didn't knw m so concerned abt d church issue. Cos he said he reli liks d church n can't leave to come mine own permanantly. Buh if dey v any program der m free to com. So I told wat if we alternate d churches every sunday.m n he said it is ok. By him. Thnkss sso much family.. So dt is fine by me. N also iff he has a side chick @@least she wil knw I exist n amma kip my eyes open. Loool..its so gud to share issues. I feel a burden lift off me.

Meestique: And you dnt know the way to the church urself?

This is the definition of a go getter.


You go girl I wholly approve of your style.

cutiesoglam: Thanks yall. I reli appreciate d concern, so late last nite, I woke him up dt I v. An important issuee to talk to him abt. So I toldhim my mind. N he was lik he didn't knw m so concerned abt d church issue. Cos he said he reli liks d church n can't leave to come mine own permanantly. Buh if dey v any program der m free to com. So I told wat if we alternate d churches every sunday.m n he said it is ok. By him. Thnkss sso much family.. So dt is fine by me. N also iff he has a side chick @@least she wil knw I exist n amma kip my eyes open. Loool..its so gud to share issues. I feel a burden lift off me.

Good you talked, Your writing sha: Anyway: next time, when you have an issue instead of making assumptions and building cases in your head the first thing you do is speak with your spouse in a sane, calm and mature manner, only when you speak with him/her and it doesnt go well do you ask others to weigh in.
How you just jumped on the assumption that he may have another woman in the church is amazing. What I got from this is that you may have had church issues pre marriage and he knows how dearly you may regard yours and he may not want to deal with the drama again hence he is saying dont bother so I wont be forced or blackmailed into abandoning mine. Assumption sha, let us not rush to think the worst of our spouses, we married them, we sleep and eat with them, we should know them better than anyone else if we are wise, first step is always talk with your spouse.
I read somewhere how a simple prayer by a man for his wife sent her into planning and scheming mode. He prayed for his children's success and for protection for her from God and next thing madam is assuming he doesnt want her to succeed and now plotting how to secretly buy property when she could have simply told him " haba Oga so you no go pray for my own success?" Instead she has linked that simple prayer to so many things and is now plotting and scheming and will probably destroy her peaceful home and later blame it on the devil.
COMMUNICATION is key, and LISTEN to the answer dont be waiting so he/ she can talk so you can reply

@ aisha. U r rite. I read abt d article too. V actually talked to him abt it b4. M even surprised wit his answer. Buh d tin until sunday comes,dt wen m gona believe him.cos he is very unpredictable .as u said we married dem n definitely knw der behaviour.. . I love him thou n I knw he loves me, buh I dnt trust him 100per. Abt mayb he is seeing som oda gal .buh m glad I talked it out!

cutiesoglam:

I v a feeling u might b rite!cos he takes going der reli personal.

Which kin English be dis.? I Berra pass you o . Chai.

At topic, pls you two should do the right thing and stop lying to yourselves.

Different church, while the other doesnt want t to be seen with you in his own church.

Next Sunday, tie your wrapper and follow him. He is the head and the head cannot leave without the neck. No be so?