Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 3,151,261 members, 7,811,729 topics. Date: Sunday, 28 April 2024 at 06:10 PM

o - Family - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / o (4297 Views)

(2) (3) (4)

(1) (2) (3) (Reply) (Go Down)

o by delard1285: 2:26pm On Aug 10, 2014
oo
Re: o by purplesummer(f): 2:32pm On Aug 10, 2014
Another guy who is hooked to a bossy lady.
Well, talk to her about it and if she doesn't change you may want to reconsider your future with her.

13 Likes

Re: o by MizMyColi(f): 2:46pm On Aug 10, 2014
Insecurity! Unrepentant Insecurity! OP, Take a break already joor! cheesy its no use going through such emotional abuse, seeing as you're not mentally and/or psychologically prepared to handle her

2 Likes

Re: o by Tallesty1(m): 2:57pm On Aug 10, 2014
And you still dey call her your fiance? You get liver gan!



When she fully becomes your wife, she will give you a speech time table, when to talk and when to just sit and listengringrin

5 Likes

Re: o by delard1285: 3:05pm On Aug 10, 2014
Not that am not emotionally and psychological ready to handle her. Anytime i tried to, she will not just admit. Although i dont know what caused the break up between her parent too but can this have effect on her?
Re: o by hensben(m): 3:12pm On Aug 10, 2014
delard1285: Hello nairalanders, I will kindly respect your opinion on this major issue bordering my heart. I have a fiancee that most time I wanted to talk to her, I do have some element of fear in me. She lose to me in talking even when we have issue to discuss she quickly get angry and she will not allow me to talk and she will be saying I dont want to listen to her when she herself has dominiaring attitude. Whenever we are together, I do calculate what I will say so that she will not get angry at a point in time. Even if i tried all my best to pleas her, she will still see something. It has been a major concerns to me, please kindly advice especially ladies in the house. Thanks
@op,How old is she?, are you her first guy?, did you use material things to draw her attention before she finally say yes to you?

I think you are 80% in love in the relation and she share the remaining 20% or maybe she is still living a fantasy life.(i.e, nollywood things).

1 Like

Re: o by MizMyColi(f): 3:12pm On Aug 10, 2014
You're prolly setting yourself up for heart failure angry
Re: o by Nobody: 3:13pm On Aug 10, 2014
Ignore her for 2 weeks, no calls no text, nothing, go blank.
When she has finished running around, tell her you want to talk only on one condition that she stays quiet and listens to what you have to say.
If your relationship survives this, hopefully you will get stronger, if you dont survive it then it is not meant to be.
Times like this we have to come close to loosing what we have to learn to adjust and value our relationships

17 Likes

Re: o by KillerBeauty(f): 3:19pm On Aug 10, 2014
How many years is she?
Re: o by hensben(m): 3:20pm On Aug 10, 2014
MizMyColi: You're prolly setting yourself up for heart failure angry
happy sunday dearie
Re: o by delard1285: 3:23pm On Aug 10, 2014
/hensbar, she is 23 and I didnt not use any material to draw her attention.
Re: o by traeces(m): 3:28pm On Aug 10, 2014
aisha2: Ignore her for 2 weeks, no calls no text, nothing, go blank.
When she has finished running around, tell her you want to talk only on one condition that she stays quiet and listens to what you have to say.
If your relationship survives this, hopefully you will get stronger, if you dont survive it then it is not meant to be.
Times like this we have to come close to loosing what we have to learn to adjust and value our relationships
This lady is good. Everybody join me let's clap for her 1-2 go
Re: o by AdeniyiA(m): 3:35pm On Aug 10, 2014
delard1285: Not that am not emotionally and psychological ready to handle her. Anytime i tried to, she will not just admit. Although i dont know what caused the break up between her parents too but can this have effect on her?
Unless such a lady,a product of broken home had an encounter with God nd make a decision not to allow what happened to her parents repeat itself in her own home, the seed of separation which had already been sown will surely germinate in her, reap out of it nd passes along to her children.
I am very sure the lady is closer to her mother than d father, nd i can tell you that d mother is not feeding her with good marriage clues. Don't be blinded by love my friend, if you can't resolve this issue better reconsider your future with her unless u want to confine yourself to a house of commotion..... seriously you won't want to go further, she's better being a second or third wife. I pity her nd whoever marries her undecided

3 Likes

Re: o by MizMyColi(f): 3:41pm On Aug 10, 2014
hensben: happy sunday dearie
smiley smiley Happy Sunday You.
Re: o by delard1285: 3:52pm On Aug 10, 2014
hmmm
Re: o by Nobody: 4:14pm On Aug 10, 2014
do u satisfy her in bed ? like it or not ladies have no respect or fear for guys with dangling ropes. Or am I lying ?
Re: o by Kanwulia: 4:19pm On Aug 10, 2014
Do not allow her to mistake your gentle nature for weakness! kiss
She has poor communication skills for sure.

Do you love her? kiss
If you do. . . you need to be patient with her.
It looks like she has a lot of 'hurt' bottled inside her and has a problem communicating.
She may have had parents who shouted all the time. Or one of those cantankerous 'polygamous homes' where quarreling is goodmorning, good afternoon and goodnight! kiss

Explain to her that if she cannot change. . . you will have to leave the relationship.
No guarantee that she can change. . . .even after marriage.
You have 2 choices.

1. Stay and work with her. . . .
2. Leave and find someone else. . . .

The choice is yours! kiss

17 Likes

Re: o by bellong: 4:22pm On Aug 10, 2014
Is she the only lady in town?

Nobody should be in fear to talk to a spouse, irrespective of gender.

There is no fear in Love. He that hath fear is not made perfect in Love.

2 Likes

Re: o by Tvegas(m): 4:27pm On Aug 10, 2014
delard1285: Not that am not emotionally and psychological ready to handle her. Anytime i tried to, she will not just admit. Although i dont know what caused the break up between her parent too but can this have effect on her?

Stop making excuses for her its obvious you are the one in love,The broken home has little to do with her attitude its a personal choice. I am very close to many humble and respectful women who grew up in broken and hostile homes but they vowed never to repeat the failures of their parent. Am surprised you wanna wife her despite the fact that she doesnt respect you right now, are you a learner? People hardly change. Follow Aisha's suggestion.

AdeniyiA:
Unless such a lady,a product of broken home had an encounter with God nd make a decision not to allow what happened to her parents repeat itself in her own home, the seed of separation which had already been sown will surely germinate in her, reap out of it nd passes along to her children.
I am very sure the lady is closer to her mother than d father, nd i can tell you that d mother is not feeding her with good marriage clues. Don't be blinded by love my friend, if you can't resolve this issue better reconsider your future with her unless u want to confine yourself to a house of commotion..... seriously you won't want to go further, she's better being a second or third wife. I pity her nd whoever marries her undecided

Once again i say this a wrong Conjecture, Many cases abound of disrespectful women who grew up in unbroken homes. Wise people take responsibility for their success or failure. Oprah winfrey and Joyce meyer are examples of women who were sexually abused as kids,did they take that as an excuse to start prostitution? NO but you see many prostitutes using the sexual abuse claim to defend what they do.

5 Likes

Re: o by Nobody: 4:31pm On Aug 10, 2014
The way I see it you are part of the problem. You feel insecure around her and you've been trying to please her. You are not your real self why are you afraid to tell her what you are writing here? Even if you leave her,in your next relationship you may still have thesame challenges.

Being with her is an opportunity to grow and stop your people pleasing attitude. Instead of complaining about her use this opportunity to learn how to speak your mind. Learn from her don't run away.

1 Like

Re: o by AdeniyiA(m): 4:32pm On Aug 10, 2014
good communication is an important ingredient at making relationships /marriage work. it is achieved btwn to individuals nd never one.
i love aisha's strategy up there
Re: o by AdeniyiA(m): 4:41pm On Aug 10, 2014
Tvegas:

Stop making excuses for her its obvious you are the one in love,The broken home has little to do with her attitude its a personal choice. I am very close to many humble and respectful women who grew up in broken and hostile homes but they vowed never to repeat the failures of their parent. Am surprised you wanna wife her despite the fact that she doesnt respect you right now, are you a learner? People hardly change. Follow Aisha's suggestion.



Once again i say this a wrong Conjecture, Many cases abound of disrespectful women who grew up in unbroken homes. Wise people take responsibility for their success or failure. Oprah winfrey and Joyce meyer are examples of women who were sexually abused as kids,did they take that as an excuse to start prostitution? NO but you see many prostitutes using the sexual abuse claim to defend what they do.
my first line gave an exception.
if a disrespectful lady grew up in an unbroken home or broken home, all still point to defects in parental responsibilities.
i was never trying to be general or closed ended in my statement. i also know of a close person who comes from a broken home but have happy home.
Re: o by onegig(m): 4:50pm On Aug 10, 2014
aisha2: Ignore her for 2 weeks, no calls no text, nothing, go blank.
When she has finished running around, tell her you want to talk only on one condition that she stays quiet and listens to what you have to say.
If your relationship survives this, hopefully you will get stronger, if you dont survive it then it is not meant to be.
Times like this we have to come close to loosing what we have to learn to adjust and value our relationships
Yeah. She needs a mental juggle. It's either he stamps his feet now and make her see the need for effective communication or he should endure the shouting down for the rest of his life.

1 Like

Re: o by Nobody: 4:59pm On Aug 10, 2014
Bros,

Run, run, run. That woman is NOT your wife. That does not make her a terrible person or make you weak; it just means both of you most likely wouldn't have a great marriage. You will find your own wife who would love, honour and listen to you. Your current fiance would also find her own husband whom she will honour, love and respect; but that person is not you and the earlier you understand that, the better for both of you.

Just tell her that you cannot continue the relationship based on what you have written here. And yea, I can tell you she is carrying a lot of hurt from her parent's divorce and you may never understand the kind of hurt she has insult and why she is transferring all that aggression on you. Somethings are too deep to understand unless you have been through it.

1 Like

Re: o by Nobody: 5:10pm On Aug 10, 2014
Poster, Poster, Poster, dont ignore this and manage and marry her then in 2016 come here and lament "My wife is killing me slowly".
If you dont work on this now dont get married oh.

1 Like

Re: o by crackhaus: 5:30pm On Aug 10, 2014
delard1285: Hello nairalanders, I will kindly respect your opinion on this major issue bordering my heart. I have a fiancee that most time I wanted to talk to her, I do have some element of fear in me. She lose to me in talking even when we have issue to discuss she quickly get angry and she will not allow me to talk and she will be saying I dont want to listen to her when she herself has dominiaring attitude. Whenever we are together, I do calculate what I will say so that she will not get angry at a point in time. Even if i tried all my best to pleas her, she will still see something. It has been a major concerns to me, please kindly advice especially ladies in the house. Thanks
Everything you typed already summarizes why this relationship is not meant to be.

Case in point: You cannot be yourself around her.

1 Like

Re: o by JEITO: 5:48pm On Aug 10, 2014
After reading your write-up, I'll advise you pull off from the relationship before it is too late.

It is evident that you are not yet mentally and emotionally matured enough for that kind of relationship- a relationship leading to marriage.

If you go ahead to marry her, how will you handle those early marital crises or how do you intend to cope with her when she is heavily pregnant?


Btw, I hope you are not thinking she will change after marriage..
Re: o by bennyrazz: 5:53pm On Aug 10, 2014
mtchhhewwwwwww
Re: o by UjSizzle(f): 5:57pm On Aug 10, 2014
You shouldn't be with anyone who makes you feel less than yourself.
Re: o by SAMBARRY: 6:15pm On Aug 10, 2014
MizMyColi: Insecurity! Unrepentant Insecurity! OP, Take a break already joor! cheesy its no use going through such emotional abuse, seeing as you're not mentally and/or psychologically prepared to handle her
that's all

1 Like

Re: o by Dreyl(m): 6:28pm On Aug 10, 2014
KillerBeauty: How many years is she?
it's How old is she? not how many years ok
Re: o by Dreyl(m): 6:30pm On Aug 10, 2014
UjSizzle: You shouldn't be with anyone who makes you feel less than yourself.
exactly!

(1) (2) (3) (Reply)

Lovely Photos Of Storborn Babies, Lol / My Wife Smokes / What To Do When He Didn't Fetch Water For Cooking

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 48
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.