When you love somebody,I believe it means loving everything about that person.Be it the parents,siblings even his or her child from a previous relationship.Yesterday,a male friend of mine was telling me about a lady he just met and really likes but the annoying thing according to him is that she already has a male child from her previous relationship and that has pissed him off.I asked him why,he said he can't just marry a woman who's first child isn't his and he's not really to carry the burden of another man's child. Well,this got me speechless and thinking cos I know some ladies marry men who have children from other women. So I would like to know if you as a man or woman can marry and live a happy married life with a child from a previous relationship and your reasons if you can't.

Your friend is just looking for a silly excuse.

just in case

Does it matter u see it dosen't!

If he doesn't like it; don't encourage him to do it coz he might eventually be irrational in relating with the child which may cause a breakdown in relationship with his spouse. Some people are like that. To some other people it might matter. But seriously; If you really love someone; you should accept all about the person.

This is a no brainer.....I don't have a problem with it.....you love the mum, you must love the kid because aside from the love she has for you, 60% of that love is based on how you relate with her kid....if the kid now likes you too....Case-closed!!

I could.

@OP, if your friend says he can't, respect his decision. Love is not something you "talk someone into/ force unto anyone" else it breeds resentment.

Pampers: To some other people it might matter. But seriously; If you really love someone; you should accept all about the person.

. This is the point I was actually trying to make.

I cannot marry a single father, will consider it only if am a single mom myself. I prefer to start my marital life on a clean slate without distracting appendages.

I can't as simple as that...The love won't even come if I know you have a kid, something triggers love.....can't just handle the consequences... The man should go marry his baby mama, how can you impregnate a girl and then ditch her? So unfair... Na women wey dey open leg anyhow I dey blame shaa...


I can only consider that if the partner is dead or Jesus comes down and tells me this is your husband. ..

Z

deylookme: You don't know everybody's story, stop judging from your own comfortable corner. No birth control is 100% effective, it can happen to anybody.

who did I judge?? I only stated my point. ..FULLSTOP


Drop your own comment and move along...

/

floranbee1: a lady he just met and really likes but the annoying thing according to him is that she already has a male child

1) He just met her
2) Really 'LIKES' her. Not LOVE.

The above shows that he probably likes her physical appearance. He discovered that she has a child and its 'ANNOYING' to him. Am sure by the time he'll discover more things about her he will end up molesting her. By the way, is it not a fellow man like him that put her in that situation and probably bolted?

To me, there is nothing wrong in marrying someone with a child, if am really into you, as in I can tolerate you and really loves you, then the child aspect will be secondary.

However, I will have to be detailed about the mother and what transpired and be assured and reassured that you have nothing to do with her anymore(that is if she's alive).

deylookme: Like i said, you don't know the full story, your are not her and you will never understand. NO SANE WOMAN PLANS TO GET AN UNWED PREGNANCY.

Alright but I didn't intend to judge anyone with my comment,sorry if I did

People should learn to stop indiscriminate sex and if possible pre marital sex because the consequences most times outweigh the pleasure. ..

S

deylookme: Like i said, you don't know the full story, your are not her and you will never understand. NO SANE WOMAN PLANS TO GET AN UNWED PREGNANCY.

. Absolutely right.

Am in the same situation..Just got to know my fiancee has a son with another lady.I gave it a thought but it really doesnt matter to me.Am just worried about if i should let my parents know because they might not allow it.Please what would you advice?

I don't see it as a burden at all. I actually get to know more about his parenting skills before we become serious.
Some men will always expect a woman to accept them for who they are (and the baggage they come with) but are never ready to do the same for the woman.
All you need is someone who loves and accepts you just as much as you love and accept everything about him/her.
If he/she was doing just fine taking care of his/her child long before you came into their lives, guess what? he/she will still do the just fine whether you decide to stay or leave. Like a lot of people said on a thread similar to this one, it takes love, maturity and wisdom.
Im not a single mother, but i won't lie it seems like i kinda have a thing for single dads, well thats only if he is great with his child.

MarvellousGod: I can't as simple as that...The love won't even come if I know you have a kid, something triggers love.....can't just handle the consequences... The man should go marry his baby mama, how can you impregnate a girl and then ditch her? So unfair... Na women wey dey open leg anyhow I dey blame shaa...


I can only consider that if the partner is dead or Jesus comes down and tells me this is your husband. ..

And the "most christian" ones are always the first to judge i thought God said u shouldn't be judgemental, or did he go on vacation and left u in charge

floranbee1: When you love somebody,I believe it means loving everything about that person.Be it the parents,siblings even his or her child from a previous relationship.Yesterday,a male friend of mine was telling me about a lady he just met and really likes but the annoying thing according to him is that she already has a male child from her previous relationship and that has pissed him off.I asked him why,he said he can't just marry a woman who's first child isn't his and he's not really to carry the burden of another man's child. Well,this got me speechless and thinking cos I know some ladies marry men who have children from other women. So I would like to know if you as a man or woman can marry and live a happy married life with a child from a previous relationship and your reasons if you can't.

if its love! then the child shud not be a problem.