You can enjoy and be revived daily, she's God's perfect match for you, maybe a change of attitude will help.
read on !

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and
said,

'I've got something to tell you'.

She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what
I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.

She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly,

'Why?'

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks
and shouted at me,

'You are not a man!'

That night, we didn' t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she
wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly
give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to a lovely girl
called Dew. I did'nt love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that
she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced
at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of
her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time,
resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved
Dew so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I
had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea
of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and
clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at
the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep
very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew. When I woke
up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I
turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want
anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She
requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life
as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a months time
and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to
recall how I had carried her into our bridal room on our wedding day. She
requested that everyday for the month's duration I carry her out of our
bedroom to the front door every morning. I thought she was
going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted
her odd request.

I told Dew about my wife's divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and
thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face
the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was
explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both
appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his
arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting
room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She
closed her eyes and said softly;

'Don't tell our son about the divorce'.

I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went
to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my
chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn' t
looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realised she was not
young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying!
Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had
done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy
returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to
me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of
intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Dew about this. It became
easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout
made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses
but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have
grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the
reason why I could carry her more easily.
Suddenly it hit me. She had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart.
Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head. Our son came in at the
moment and said,

'Dad, it's time to carry mum out.' To him, seeing his father
carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife
gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face
away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then
held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to
the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her
body tightly, it was just like our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone
to school. I held her tightly and said, I had'nt noticed that our life lacked intimacy.

I drove to office, jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the
door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind, I walked
upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her,

'Sorry, Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore.'

She looked at me, astonished. Then touched my forehead.

'Do you have a fever?'

She said. I moved her hand off my head.

'Sorry, Dew', I said, 'I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring
probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not
because we didn't love each other any more. Now I realise that since I
carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until
death do us apart.'

Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed
the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the
floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The
salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote,

'I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.'

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship.
It is not the mansion, the car, property , the money in the bank, blah, blah, blah. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be
your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you, but if you do, you just might save a marriage.

Can we share the lessons learnt in this testimony so that we can all benefit from it?

My prayer is that may the good Lord give us wise and patient wives that will build their homes even when their husbands are trying hard to break it.

Is a man not the head of the family?why then should he seek to destroy his home and then expect the wife who is to submit to him as head be expected to amend the tear.
men you have got to learn how to be a good head and leader so that your wife and children will follow suit
what u sow u shall and will surely reap plenty folds

man that was a masterpiece
i loved it and here i read it with my madam who is married and she learn t a whole lot from it
i did also
we as human beings a times forget the essential part of our lives and we go for trivialities.
imagine a man with a wife who loves him and a kid whom they both share ,a product of their love
looking for love outside of it
well,thanks for that and i pray may God bring sanity to our homes

A wise woman builds her home, that woman was in the Spirit, really !!

St Michael:

A wise woman builds her home, that woman was in the Spirit, really !!

That is a good observation. The Bible puts it precisely below:

"Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands." Proverbs 14:1

OLAADEGBU:

That is a good observation. The Bible puts it precisely below:

"Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands." Proverbs 14:1

But this doesn't means men should take their wifes forgranted, as the head of the family i think men should put more effort to save their home than wifes does

plappville:

But this doesn't means men should take their wifes forgranted, as the head of the family i think men should put more effort to save their home than wifes does

I believe both spouses should put equal effort if not trying to outdo the other in their effort to build their marriage.  We have the best injunction in the Bible that helps us to know our responsibilities in marriage, "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord . . . Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave Himself for it." (Eph.5:22,25).  Now tell me which one is easier?  May the Lord help us all.

If only one of the spouses takes this injunction seriously marriages will be difficult to break even when the other spouse tries hard to break it.

This is so cool

Well this is an Internet Story and not really what happens in real life. 95% of divorces are settled 3 months ahead in the mind of that person. Go to the divorce section at the Ikeja High court and see the massive queue of people waiting to annul their 2 years to 50 years old marriage. People go tired and wary of staying with one person especially this generation and people just need to move on atimes.

While this story might seem inspiring for some, none theless, it doesnt apply in the real world! Most divorces are meant to be and it has nothing spiritual or emotional to do with it. Its just an absence of communication and attraction!

Cheers!

@Olaadegbu: Let me use you as a whipping board this morning.

'You are not a man!'

Your wife was right, in the above statement. lol. Manhood is a state of mind and not just the physiological, alone!

That night, we didn' t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she
wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly
give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to a lovely girl
called Dew. I did'nt love her anymore. I just pitied her!

This alone, is enough to put you to death! If you are a muslim, I mean. Just imagine if the shoe was in the other foot. If your wife, in the first year of your marriage had met a more debounearing younger man who was more successful than you a "still struggling and older man", and then decided to walk out on you. I am sure you would have cried "murderer".

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that
she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced
at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of
her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time,
resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved
Dew so dearly.

Is that what marrying you is? No wonder you went to a "fake" woman, actually a girl, at best; Dew. I wonder if Dew aged rapidly after you have been with her for say, a couple of years? Another moving on, again to another woman? When will you settle down, Olaadegbu? Don't forget that you are still an african. Since the wife you are divorcing "cooks and other womanly things for you," what if when you are 100% with Dew, she refuses to do the cooking and the other womanly things that your soon to be divorced from "present wife" is always too eager to do?



[quote]
Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and
clearer now.

Many people are in lust. They lusted into "present relationship, which they now have as spouses," until they find another "lust after, possible potential future spouse" to take the place of the present unstable relationship they are in. Now just imagine if you are a Muslim where a man is allowed to have more than 1 spouse. You could keep your first and still marry a second. The hurt would not have to be so cut deep. Afterall, no an wants his sister or woman folk to be divorce from a good man. Unless, you the husband of the woman is such a terrible spouse.

[/quote]

Dads should take a moment to contemplate the roles they play in their children's lives. Our children are learning by examples, they are always watching to see whether our actions are congruent with our words. Watch this short video below.

http://www.godtube.com/view_video.php?viewkey=5486ae62fd502645138e

lawyer:

Well this is an Internet Story and not really what happens in real life. 95% of divorces are settled 3 months ahead in the mind of that person. Go to the divorce section at the Ikeja High court and see the massive queue of people waiting to annul their 2 years to 50 years old marriage. People go tired and wary of staying with one person especially this generation and people just need to move on atimes.

While this story might seem inspiring for some, none theless, it doesnt apply in the real world! Most divorces are meant to be and it has nothing spiritual or emotional to do with it. Its just an absence of communication and attraction!

Cheers!

This is not just an internet story but is a true story of someone whose marriage was almost dissolved, and I believe that we call all learn practical lessons on how to keep our marriages intact. It is almost disheartening to realise that is always the women that are the ones keen to keep their marriages than men, but we have to go back to the basics and to the Person who instituted marriage in the first place. Marriage was not man's idea but of God who said that a man shall leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife (not wives) and not Adam and Steve, and both of them shall be joined as one.

When we acknowledge the initiator and maker of the marriage institution as the third party in our marriages will our marriages be able to ride the storm that is affecting our society today.

olabowale:

@Olaadegbu: Let me use you as a whipping board this morning.
Your wife was right, in the above statement. lol. Manhood is a state of mind and not just the physiological, alone!

Must you always attack persons in all your posts?  And when you don't see someone to attack you start on anyone in your imagination, this is what some ideologies does to some people's minds.

olabowale:

This alone, is enough to put you to death! If you are a muslim, I mean. Just imagine if the shoe was in the other foot. If your wife, in the first year of your marriage had met a more debounearing younger man who was more successful than you a "still struggling and older man", and then decided to walk out on you. I am sure you would have cried "murderer".

Am not surprised that you are still thinking in the stone ages.  The lesson you learnt from the post was that you should put someone to death.  I wonder if you think or teach any other things to your adherents other than death, and when death presents itself you then say that you are not ready.  (O ko we si ijogbon, igbati ijogbon de tan o wa so pe ko s'aye mo)

olabowale:

Many people are in lust. They lusted into "present relationship, which they now have as spouses," until they find another "lust after, possible potential future spouse" to take the place of the present unstable relationship they are in. Now just imagine if you are a Muslim where a man is allowed to have more than 1 spouse. You could keep your first and still marry a second. The hurt would not have to be so cut deep. Afterall, no an wants his sister or woman folk to be divorce from a good man. Unless, you the husband of the woman is such a terrible spouse.

This just shows the easy way out, if you have marital problems get another one to divert the attention away from you.  I am sure not many women on this forum will be willing to share their man with a rival, not in this day and age unless the marriage is for convenience sake and in such marriages intimacy is out of the window as it is only to satisfy the man's sexual urges.  And if you think that Islam practices equality among men and women why don't they allow the women to have another man when they have problems in their marriages? Except that you use them as properties to be heard of and not to be seen.

Oh that was wonerful! I learnt a lt from it. Thanks poster

d-baptist:

man that was a masterpiece
i loved it and here i read it with my madam who is married and she learn t a whole lot from it
i did also
we as human beings a times forget the essential part of our lives and we go for trivialities.
imagine a man with a wife who loves him and a kid whom they both share ,a product of their love
looking for love outside of it
well,thanks for that and i pray may God bring sanity to our homes

God bless you for taking practical steps to learn from the experience above, may the Lord keep together what He has joined together in Jesus' name.

uzwu:

Oh that was wonerful! I learnt a lt from it. Thanks poster

May God bless you and keep your marriage blessed and fruitful in Jesus' name.

Adam and Eve must have been the happiest and luckiest couple in the world.

-Neither of them had a mother-in-law.

I wish all married couples in NL a fruitful, loving, intimate and happy married life this new year 2009 and the yet to be married to find the bones of their bones and the flesh of their flesh very soon in Jesus' name.

Watch this married man sing a song about his marriage blues:

http://www.godtube.com/view_video.php?viewkey=afa4d76f3d66dcf6df8e

This story depict an example of a wise woman that keepeth her house.

You women should be careful in marrying a man that would want to breakup his years of marriage cus of you.
After marrying you, be rest assured you are the next to go after another one like you comes around.

if u are so versed in the bible how come u wanted to ditch your wife in the first place, or is it after that you started to study the bible?

OLAADEGBU:

Adam and Eve must have been the happiest and luckiest couple in the world.
-Neither of them had a mother-in-law.

are you inferring that your mother or mother-in-law is part of the problems?

OLAADEGBU:

Adam and Eve must have been the happiest and luckiest couple in the world.  
-Neither of them had a mother-in-law.

are you inferring that your mother or mother-in-law is part of the problems?

Taken:

This story depict an example of a wise woman that keepeth her house.

You women should be careful in marrying a man that would want to breakup his years of marriage cus of you.
After marrying you, be rest assured you are the next to go after another one like you comes around.

Thanks and God bless you abundantly for diligently observing salient points that we can learn from the real life scenario in the opening post. As for the mistresses, what goes around comes around I guess.

microgiant:

if u are so versed in the bible how come u wanted to ditch your wife in the first place, or is it after that you started to study the bible?

microgiant:

are you inferring that your mother or mother-in-law is part of the problems?

How do you read? Must it be that I am referring to myself before you can make any sense out of my posts? I guess that you think like Olabowale, who cannot decipher personal testimonies from scenarios of other people posted on the internet.

Valentine's Day
February 14, 2009

" Who so findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD." (Proverbs 18:22)

Embedded in many of our customs and holidays are a mixture of pagan and biblical principles. Saint Valentine’s Day is no exception. Mystery surrounds who Valentine really was. He was probably a priest martyred in 269 A.D. at Rome. Among Roman Catholics, he is called the patron saint of affianced couples, beekeepers, epilepsy, fainting, greetings, happy marriages, love, lovers, plague, travellers, and young people. He is one busy (and confused) man!

In the Western world, the emphasis is on human expressions of love and friendship. That is certainly of importance and, when guided by the biblical principles, a godly ardor worth commemorating.
Here are a few guidelines to remember this season:

• "Let love be without dissimulation. Abhor that which is evil; cleave to that which is good" (Romans 12:9).

• "Flee also youthful lusts: but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace, with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart" (2 Timothy 2:22).

• "See that ye love one another with a pure heart fervently" (1 Peter 1:22).

• "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it" (Ephesians 5:25).

• "Be not forgetful to entertain strangers: for thereby some have entertained angels unawares" (Hebrews 13:2).

The objective of every kind of biblical "love" is stated in Paul’s prayer for the Philippian church: "And this I pray, that your love may abound yet more and more in knowledge and in all judgment; That ye may approve things that are excellent; that ye may be sincere and without offence till the day of Christ. Being filled with the fruits of righteousness, which are by Jesus Christ, unto the glory and praise of God" (Philippians 1:9-11). HMM III

http://www.icr.org/article/valentines-day/

Porcupines

Like these porcupines, we humans can be prickly creatures at times, and we can hurt those who are close to us without meaning to. We must learn to forgive and allow those hurts to be healed (Joyful 'toons).

St Michael:

A wise woman builds her home, that woman was in the Spirit, really !!

I salute our mothers o!

Here is another story of how a Christian minister restored a marriage that was on the brink of divorce.

Dr. George Crane was a newspaper columnist and at the same time a Christian minister.  He said of the story of a frustrated wife who came into his office seeking a divorce. 

She said:

"I do not only want to get rid of him, I want to hurt him as much as he has me."

Dr. Crane suggested an interesting plan:

"Go home and act as if you really love your husband.  Tell him how much he means to you.  Praise him for every decent trait.  Go out of your way to be as kind, considerate and generous as possible.  Spare no efforts to please him, to enjoy him.  Make him believe you love him.  After you've convinced him of your undying love and that you cannot live without him, then drop the bomb.  Tell him that you're getting a divorce.  That will really hurt him."

With revenge in her eyes, she smiled and exclaimed,

"Beautiful, beautiful.  Will he ever be surprised!"

And she carried out the Doctor's prescription to the letter, pretending to mean it.  This she did for 2 months by showing kindness, (neither nagging nor insulting), giving, sharing, showing love and affection.

When she didn't come back to Dr. Crane he decided to give her a call and said:

"Are you ready now to go through with the divorce?"

"Divorce?" she exclaimed.  "Never!  I discovered I really do love him." 

OLAADEGBU:

Adam and Eve must have been the happiest and luckiest couple in the world.

-Neither of them had a mother-in-law.

[img width=500 height=500]http://www.answersingenesis.org/assets/images/media/cartoons/after-eden/20010709.gif[/img]