Connected Hearts Daily Devotional (c) 2014
ROMANCE MAKEOVER: Dangers of Neglect 02

Just like a young man buying his first car, or a young lady going out on her first date, we all have expectations, and sometimes, fantasies as regards our marriages and what we expect our daily experiences to feel like. However, these expectations are often unrealistic, mismatched, not communicated, and in some extreme cases, held at the unconscious level. Nevertheless, they remain compelling, driving our behaviours towards our spouses.

Having said that, it is important to point out that there are times when these expectations are basic and commonplace. For instance, a spouse expecting fidelity, devotion, a fulfilling sexual life, spending quality time together, etc. When these basic needs are neglected, it creates a painful vacuum so difficult to fill. How do you tell a lady who kept her virginity for 32years that her husband is impotent? How do you tell a shy and introverted man whose 'love language' is quality time that his wife has no time for him?

When people neglect their spouses, they are teaching them to live without them, making room for temptation. Please, STOP ignoring your spouse; playing with their feelings; playing hard to get; or dishing out silent treatment. Listen with undivided attention; respond to their calls and SMS; don't hold back love.

When neglect grows in a marriage, it overshadows and dims the light of marital romance; remember whatever is not tended begins to deteriorate.

ASSIGNMENT
Sit down with your spouse and find out if they feel neglected, and what you can do to bridge the gap. Ask God for help!

Chidi and Victor Akunna
Foundation for Family Affairs

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