The Relationship Blame Game: The Abuse, The Abused & The Abuser - Nairaland / General - Nairaland
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| The Relationship Blame Game: The Abuse, The Abused & The Abuser by ghostofsparta(m): 6:55pm On Sep 14, 2014 |
On the early morning hours of Wednesday the 10th...Maxy of 96.9 Cool FM co-oped with Nelly of 99.3FM Nigeria Info on her FamilySeries talk show. They both made an excellent duo over an impromptu topic about abusive relationships. Somehow their interesting chatter centered on affronts in relationships to which any keen listener could sense how their discussions tilted towards nailing the blame on the male folk as expected, to which the few (males) who called in mildly disagreed. I tried calling in to voice my opinion but I'm happy my call wasn't picked else this blogpost won't exist. Well...I know for sure that there are several reasons why assaults may occur in any defined relationship, no gender should be solely accused since it usually stems from succession of unresolved, pent-up misapprehensions mostly manifested as physical outburst, regardless of which, you may be quite astonished to know that, most Nigerian females in a budding or active relationship would have at one time or more, give in to a sort of wanton masochistic need to be tamed, they achieve this by pushing their male partners to an emotional precipice called provocation. They don't get to see taste limit of his threshold by nagging the composure out of him, no, not my Naija ladies, they do better than the naggiest elsewhere, the species here are just naturally good in knowing what to say or do to get under even the thickest nerves, and nothing really can be done about it. Haba! guys, this isn't some misogynistic rant and I don't expect you to be taken aback, you have to understand it's a psycho-sexual thing only Freud could clarify better, you just have to figure out how to manage the ones with the tendency if it so happen you're that unlucky and that's considering if her assets (physical and non-physical qualities) is wort clinging to (IMO). The into-to of this matter is that there are several reasons to suspect that we males gets emotionally abused or physically attacked by girlfriends and spouses more than we could possibly admit both publicly and inwardly. I will state one out of my few experiences, a particular incident which happened to me couple of years ago, and the rest which are bound to so happen in my future. There used to be this female friend of mine who probably because is a relative to the people I was temporary work for, she frequented my station to frolic (which I sort of liked) but the twisted thing is, in spite of her unrelenting lewd advances, she always find my shoulder convenient to always cry on whenever she needs to quell off the recurring heartbreaks in her lovelorn relationship with her so-called lover-boy, it is was a failing relationship she kept enduring to make work for she much believed it could still function as it once was (her claim), however instead, only to eventually makes the worst out of her. Oh my! oh my! She made me dislike tears, for the way she shed hers was horrifyingly remarkable! It was the day I decided to put an end to her sick lascivious teases by questioning her tiring, much repeated sexual superiority in a poking yet challenging manner, she responded abruptly to my face with a resounding roundabout slap (Gboa!). It was public, we were heading back from a fast-food, I felt quite embarrassed but no one saw it sha, except the iron black gate at the entrance. Should I have replied her by descending few punches on her jugs? I'm not into lady-beating (only spanking eh!). Should I have reacted by shouting down on her, at least just to unsettle her? Well...no, being the female she was, I thought. I can tell you guys that a Nigerianess' first attack really counts a lot as it could be discombobulating to even the meanest of boxer, especially if it's sudden and heavy, wimp or not, no joke. So there you have it our womenfolks have done us more 'assaulting' than our society care to take note of, no need highlighting other subterfuge they employ to justify an abuse, and sometimes very adroit in mount offense on males perceived as wimpish in our schools. Ha! I remember Kristana, the juggernaut she-iron from secondary school, terrorizing boys from SS1 through SS3, this somehow attractive Edo classmate looks more meaner, imposing and combative than both Gina Carano and Chyna put together. Always stomping the class floor with her huge right to remind the forgetful of her puissance. I'm beginning to think she might be the inspiration behind Jennifer Lopez's 'Enough', difference is our pretty, chocolate-skinned Kristy wouldn't have liked J-Lo's character to be using self-defense as an excuse for any female to be pugnacious. Now I'm reminded of the alluring kick-ass female cop - Cynthia Rothrock back in the days, she always gets the job done, and with less violence than the Umar Thurman's character in the Kill Bill movies, C.R. is an original martial-artist/actress whose moves are genuinely sexier than those tits-n-teeth fighters in Bitch Slap, with the exception that she can't be as sexy as those amazons in my bimbo-packed, all time erotica 'Sucker Punch'. Source 1 Like 1 Share |
| Re: The Relationship Blame Game: The Abuse, The Abused & The Abuser by Ryabcool(m): 4:17am On Sep 18, 2014 |
Very hilarious yet thought provoking... Society frowns(and rightly so) at male inflicting violence on women, but hypocritically turns a blind eye to female inflicting violence on men. Where is the sense in that? As much as people try to overlook it, it happens rampantly in today's world. Solange's case brought about a lot of questions and the nonchallant reactions of people brought even more questions. Imagine women saying "he must have done something to make her attack him"... I was like WTF?! Then if i'm to go by the train of thought in at VERY USELESS attempt at justification, then Rihanna must have done something to make CB go knuckle happy on her face. Oh wait, men do not deserve to complain if a woman attacks them! To make things worse, most males who have tried to protest female physical assaults have been labelled sissies and not being 'man' enough. This begs the question; Is recieving physical assaults from the opposite gender without complaints or attempt at self defense the prerequisite of being a REAL MAN? FOH with that garbage! If violence isn't wanted, then it shouldn't be dished out. Women deserve to be respected and not be subjected to any form of physical assault. AND SO DO MEN! EOD! |
| Re: The Relationship Blame Game: The Abuse, The Abused & The Abuser by Nobody: 8:00am On Sep 18, 2014 |
I still support that,if I by any means slap,punch or pinch you as a lady,please do not hesitate to slap,punch or pinch me in return meaning that if I don't want to be knocked-out,I shouldn't knock someone out Women have same muscle,jaw,chest and wherever 'em babes always hit men,the only diff is that there is the presence of b.reast and soft muscle so I don't understand what makes them feel so untouchable. "Do to others what you want to be done unto you" |
| Re: The Relationship Blame Game: The Abuse, The Abused & The Abuser by CBNIM: 12:11pm On Sep 18, 2014 |
I'm so anti-abuse no matter the gender. Don't abuse and most importantly don't live with nor condone an abuser, whether hubby, wify, father, mother, sister, brother, uncle, aunt, cousins, friends, neighbors etc. #teamhealthyrelationships# |
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