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Some Hilarious Football Quotes. Pick ur favourites & Add Urs as Well. - Sports - Nairaland

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Some Hilarious Football Quotes. Pick ur favourites & Add Urs as Well. by sirculynz(m): 9:51am On Sep 17, 2014
1) Eric Cantona (On receiving an 8 months ban after kicking a fan): "When d seagulls follow d trawler, it's because they think that sardines will be thrown into d sea".

2) Ian Holloway (After Ugly win against Chesterfield): “To put it in gentleman’s terms if you’ve been out for a night and you’re looking for a young lady and you pull one, some weeks they’re good looking and some weeks they’re not the best. Our performance today would have been not the best looking bird but at least we got her in the taxi. She weren’t the best looking lady we ended up taking home but she was very pleasant and very nice, so thanks very much, let’s have a coffee”

3). Arsene Wenger (On chelsea's courting of Ashley Cole in 2005): " If pple com 2 ur window & talk to ur wife every nyt, u cant accept it without asking what's happening".

4).Liverpool's Bill Shankly: "Some pple believe football is a matter of life & death. I'm very disappointed with that attitude, I can assure it is much much more important than that".

5).Sir Alex Ferguson (on Arsene Wenger): " They say he's an intelligent man right? Speaks five languages! I've got a 15yr old boy from d ivory Coast who speaks 5 languages!".

6).Ian Holloway (on having series of bad luck in matches): "Right now everything is going wrong for me. If I fell in a barrel of bo*bs, I'd come out sucking my thumb".

7). Gianluca Vialli: " When Manchester United are @ their best, I am close to Org*sm".
cool. Ian Holloway (On Arsenal's tiki-taka): " I watched Arsenal in d champions league d oda week playing some of d best football I've ever seen & yet they couldn't av scored in a brothel with two grand (£2000) in their pockets".

9). Newcastle's Kevin Keegan: "We deserved to win this game after hammering them 0-0 in d first half".

10). Brian Clough: " If I had an argument with a player we would sit down for 20mins talk about it & then decide I was right".

11). Ian Holloway (On Happiness): "I couldn't be more chuffed if I were a badger @ d start of a mating season".

12). Sir Alex Ferguson 2003 (On surpassing Liverpool's18th league title): "My greatest Challenge is not what's happening at the moment, my greatest challenge is knocking liverpool right off their f**king perch. And u can print that".

13). Former Dannish Football Manager Ebbe Skordah : "In Football Statistics are like miniskirts. They give u good ideas but hide the important things".
14). Ian Holloway: “I don’t see the problem with footballers taking their shirts off after scoring a goal? They enjoy it and the young ladies enjoy it too. I suppose thats one of the main reasons women come to football games, to see the young men take their shirts off. Of course they’d have to go and watch another game because my lads are as ugly as sin.”

15). Former Man Utd's Manager Sir Matt Busby (On tactics): " It was a very simple team talk. All
I used to say was, whenever possible, give d ball to George Best".

16)Liverpool's Bill Shankly (on Everton's rivalry): " When I've got nothing better to do I look down d league table 2 c how Everton are getting along".

17).Ian Holloway (On commitment): " There was a spell in d second half when I took my heart off my sleeve and put it in my mouth".

18) Sir Alex Ferguson (On kicking a boot into David
Beckham's face in 2003): "It was a freakish incident. If I tried it 100 or a million times it couldn't happen again. If I could I would have carried on playing!"

19). Scotland's Berti Vogts: "If I walked on water, my accusers would say it is because I can't swim".

20).Peterborough's Chris Turner: "I ve told the players we need to win matches so dat I can av d cash to buy some new ones".
21). Ade Akinbiyi: "I was watching the Blackburn game on TV on Sunday when it flashed on the screen that George (Ndah) had scored in the first minute at Birmingham. My first reaction was to ring him up. Then I remembered he was out there playing.
22).David Beckham: "My parents have been there for me, ever since I was about 7."
23). Elbert Hubbard: "Watching football is like watching po*nography. There's plenty of action, and I can't take my eyes off it, but when it's over, I wonder why the hell I spent an afternoon doing it.
24). Ian Holloway ( His view about possession game): "If you're a burglar, it's no good poncing about outside somebody's house, looking good with your swag bag ready. Just get in there, burgle them and come out. I don't advocate that obviously, it's just an analogy. "
25).Ronaldinho ( After winning world best in 2006): On being the best footballer in the World he said; "I don't feel that i'm the best at Barca. I know i'm important to the team, but the best, no, not really. I do what i can and others do things I can't.
26). Sir Alex Ferguson (On Manchester City) "Sometimes you have a noisy neighbour. You cannot do anything about that. They will always be noisy. You just have to get on with your life, put your television on and turn it up a bit louder."
27). Jose Mourinho: "The only thing that I want to say is that we are the best ones and in normal conditions we are more than the best ones. In normal conditions we will be
champions. In abnormal conditions we also will be champions"
28).Jose Mourinho (On chelsea owner Roman Abramovich): "If Roman Abramovich helped me out in training we would be bottom of the league, and if I had to work in his world of big business, we would be bankrupt".
29). Claudio Borghi (A former Argentinian footballer and Chile's manager):

“Coaching Boca Juniors is like having sex with the windows open. You don’t get any privacy, ever.”

“Juan Roman Riquelme is a different kind of player, like a woman with three br*asts.”

“In football you can’t wait until you’ve conceded a goal before you start taking the game to the opposition. It’s like with women: if you go to a disco and see a stunning blonde you have to go after her, you can’t just wait until the end of the night or for the disco to close.”
30). Leeds' Howard Wilkinson: "There's only two types of manager. Those who've been sacked and those who will be sacked in the future".

101 Likes 12 Shares

Re: Some Hilarious Football Quotes. Pick ur favourites & Add Urs as Well. by yorex2011: 11:45am On Sep 17, 2014
shocked shocked shocked













































grin grin grin

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Some Hilarious Football Quotes. Pick ur favourites & Add Urs as Well. by buskie13(m): 11:50am On Sep 17, 2014
"why always me"_Balotelli

31 Likes

Re: Some Hilarious Football Quotes. Pick ur favourites & Add Urs as Well. by Krasid(m): 12:44pm On Sep 17, 2014
Patrick Thistle John Lambie after Colin Mcglashan did not know who he was after suffering concussion
"Tell him he is pele and get him back on"

36 Likes 4 Shares

Re: Some Hilarious Football Quotes. Pick ur favourites & Add Urs as Well. by seankafor(m): 12:48pm On Sep 17, 2014
mourinho.....who is tata martino? grin

4 Likes

Re: Some Hilarious Football Quotes. Pick ur favourites & Add Urs as Well. by bizibrain(m): 12:53pm On Sep 17, 2014
''If there is a god of soccer, his name is lionel messi'' - samuel eto'o.

31 Likes

Re: Some Hilarious Football Quotes. Pick ur favourites & Add Urs as Well. by tuffgongjo(m): 1:17pm On Sep 17, 2014
Jose mourinho(after he was surveyed to be the ninth most influential man on the planet):"What position is my wife in? Eight @ least".
But is mr Holloway's libido so high?

9 Likes 1 Share

Re: Some Hilarious Football Quotes. Pick ur favourites & Add Urs as Well. by sirculynz(m): 6:35pm On Sep 17, 2014
31). Diego Maradona ( on his "hand of God goal"
against England in World Cup 1986) "I was waiting
for my teammates to embrace me and no one
came... I told them, 'Come hug me or the referee
isn't going to allow it'."
32).Diego Maradona(on his numerous kids): "My
legitimate kids are Dalma and Giannina. The rest
are a product of my money and mistakes."
33).Diego Maradona: "God makes me play well. That
is why I always make the sign of the cross when I
walk out onto the pitch. I feel I would be betraying
him if I didn't."
34). Jurgen Klopp ( On Bayern Munich) “Go through
the world and find me a team who can finish
champ7ions in the same league as Bayern. If we
should finish second this summer, I’ll find a truck
and drive it through my garden. If nobody will
rejoice, I’ll do it alone.”
35).Jurgen Klopp ( On his approach in dealing with
Mats Hummels Injury Crisis): “We will wait for him
like a good wife waiting for her husband who is in
jail.”
36) Pele: I sometimes lie awake at night and wonder
why I am still so popular and, to be honest, I don't
know.
37).Pele: “For 20 years they have been asking me the
same question, who is the greatest? Maradona or
Pele? I reply that all you have to do is look at the
facts - how many goals did he score with his right
foot or with his head?”
38). Brian Clough: "i can't even spell spaghetti,not talking of speaking italian.i don't know how to tell my italian players how to get the ball,if not,they might grab mine".

25 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Some Hilarious Football Quotes. Pick ur favourites & Add Urs as Well. by seankay(m): 8:20am On Sep 18, 2014
Dis Mr Holloway too like sex

13 Likes 1 Share

Re: Some Hilarious Football Quotes. Pick ur favourites & Add Urs as Well. by seankay(m): 8:22am On Sep 18, 2014
Dis Mr Holloway too like sex,Chris Turner na mumu!

1 Like

Re: Some Hilarious Football Quotes. Pick ur favourites & Add Urs as Well. by chinex276(m): 9:02am On Sep 18, 2014
I never knew ian HOLLOWAY WAS A MORE TALKATIVE DAN MOURINHO.
.
.
.
Now dis frm d special 1 himself...
JOSE MOURINHO after a former AS roma coach insulted him, asked about it he said:: "who is he, pls , wen i am on holiday i think i'll google his name 2 know who he is and what he has won"

32 Likes

Re: Some Hilarious Football Quotes. Pick ur favourites & Add Urs as Well. by Haywhymido(m): 12:26pm On Sep 18, 2014
chinex276: I never knew ian HOLLOWAY WAS A MORE TALKATIVE DAN MOURINHO.
.
.
.
Now dis frm d special 1 himself...
JOSE MOURINHO after a former AS roma coach insulted him, asked about it he said:: "who is he, pls , wen i am on holiday i think i'll google his name 2 know who he is and what he has won"
mourinho badman person.

2 Likes

Re: Some Hilarious Football Quotes. Pick ur favourites & Add Urs as Well. by cr7lomo: 1:25pm On Sep 18, 2014
George best , when he quit smoking , drinking and womanizing he said " it wasn't easy because it was the worst 5mins of my life"

28 Likes 1 Share

Re: Some Hilarious Football Quotes. Pick ur favourites & Add Urs as Well. by Nobody: 11:36pm On Sep 18, 2014
hmmmm
Re: Some Hilarious Football Quotes. Pick ur favourites & Add Urs as Well. by philo3(m): 12:28am On Sep 19, 2014
dis thread z makin me ROTFL... fucking funny

1 Like

Re: Some Hilarious Football Quotes. Pick ur favourites & Add Urs as Well. by Millate01: 4:05am On Sep 19, 2014
.
Re: Some Hilarious Football Quotes. Pick ur favourites & Add Urs as Well. by nickz(m): 11:23am On Sep 19, 2014
ian holloway is a foolgringrin


"my lads are ugly"
bwhahahahahahahahahahahahacheesy

6 Likes

Re: Some Hilarious Football Quotes. Pick ur favourites & Add Urs as Well. by zuma4k(m): 4:53pm On Sep 19, 2014
no20 really gat me rolling on the floor...

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: Some Hilarious Football Quotes. Pick ur favourites & Add Urs as Well. by ginajet(f): 6:08pm On Sep 19, 2014
lolzzzz
Re: Some Hilarious Football Quotes. Pick ur favourites & Add Urs as Well. by Atoos(m): 9:20pm On Sep 19, 2014
no 4 and 16 are d most hilarious.
comin 4rm a liverpool fan..YNWA
Re: Some Hilarious Football Quotes. Pick ur favourites & Add Urs as Well. by sirculynz(m): 11:10am On Sep 20, 2014
chinex276: I never knew ian HOLLOWAY WAS A MORE TALKATIVE DAN MOURINHO.
.
.
.
Now dis frm d special 1 himself...
JOSE MOURINHO after a former AS roma coach insulted him, asked about it he said:: "who is he, pls , wen i am on holiday i think i'll google his name 2 know who he is and what he has won"
Ian Holloway is d funniest manager trust me, during his press conferences journalists always fill d room cos of wat he ll say.

3 Likes

Re: Some Hilarious Football Quotes. Pick ur favourites & Add Urs as Well. by tobiboss(m): 2:06pm On Sep 20, 2014
No. 6, 14 and 19 are hilarius grin grin, fp pls

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Some Hilarious Football Quotes. Pick ur favourites & Add Urs as Well. by Nobody: 2:28pm On Sep 20, 2014
make i clean chair read this quotes. LOL to alex f. To arsen wenger
Re: Some Hilarious Football Quotes. Pick ur favourites & Add Urs as Well. by searay(m): 4:09pm On Sep 20, 2014
.
Re: Some Hilarious Football Quotes. Pick ur favourites & Add Urs as Well. by searay(m): 4:10pm On Sep 20, 2014
yorex2011: shocked shocked shocked



Congratulations!
How you take do am?









































grin grin grin
Re: Some Hilarious Football Quotes. Pick ur favourites & Add Urs as Well. by Alexgeneration(m): 4:11pm On Sep 20, 2014
Football qoute?
Re: Some Hilarious Football Quotes. Pick ur favourites & Add Urs as Well. by ZACHIE: 4:12pm On Sep 20, 2014
RIO FERDINAND ON DAVID MOYES

``“Moyes’s innovations mostly led to negativity and confusion. The biggest confusion was over how he wanted us to move the ball forward. Often he told us to play it long. Some players felt they kicked the ball long more than at any time in their career.

“Sometimes our main tactic was the long, high, diagonal cross. It was embarrassing. In one home game against Fulham we had 81 crosses! I was thinking, why are we doing this?

16 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Some Hilarious Football Quotes. Pick ur favourites & Add Urs as Well. by LegendarySage(m): 4:13pm On Sep 20, 2014
Huh?
Re: Some Hilarious Football Quotes. Pick ur favourites & Add Urs as Well. by jmoore(m): 4:14pm On Sep 20, 2014
26). Sir Alex Ferguson (On Manchester City) "Sometimes you have a noisy neighbour. You cannot do anything about that. They will always be noisy. You just have to get on with your life, put your television on and turn it up a bit louder."


grin grin grin

8 Likes 1 Share

Re: Some Hilarious Football Quotes. Pick ur favourites & Add Urs as Well. by kennosklint(m): 4:14pm On Sep 20, 2014
Dat one na dia bizness
Re: Some Hilarious Football Quotes. Pick ur favourites & Add Urs as Well. by akpanikpe(m): 4:14pm On Sep 20, 2014
Jack who?
Baloteli when ask if he knew Jack wilshear.

6 Likes

Re: Some Hilarious Football Quotes. Pick ur favourites & Add Urs as Well. by 1stola: 4:15pm On Sep 20, 2014
5).Sir Alex Ferguson (on Arsene Wenger): " They say he's an
intelligent man right? Speaks five languages! I've got a 15yr old
boy from d ivory Coast who speaks 5 languages!".

FOOLISH RACIST angry
Why not a 16 yr old girl from England

23 Likes 1 Share

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