I didn't know what topic to give the thread oo, so don't just chastise me over how 'weird/ inappropriate/misleading" or whatever else, the topic is.

This is personal and it really got to me.

Now, why do married folks always assume that a single/unmarried lady/guy has no right to give them any form of advice. They'd be like, "what do you know?" "wait until you have yours, then you can do it anyhow you like."

Shouldn't any form of advice be taken seriously?

Why this?
I have a friend, an older friend actually. Her husby used to live out of the country and had issues abroad. The solution to which was marriage to a citizen. He told his wife and she vex! Carry the matter for head Like Kilode!

I was like, would you want him to get deported when their is a solution? Why not let him find a level headed person to do the thing with and then get a divorce later or whatever. She said I'm naive. What do I know? I was like okay, no p now.

The guy came Nigeria began to sit at home more often that he should, he has a small scale biz he does. Just a few months after, madam started to grumble. She started to nag and all that, husby brought my attention to it!

See the kind of 'with all due respect' I took yab her and him sef!!! No be to do the thing and confess After when everything don settle he supposed do? Mumu!! Mtcheww!!! Simple thing!!! But cos it came from me, she didn't listen and now I see the sadness in both of them.

The thing dey pain me! They love each other now. Last night she called around 11 ish, asking when.....are recruiting!

Come on!!! This marital vow thingy is just being over stretched!!! Can't common sense also be applied?

PS: the "op-mind-your-bizness" crew, not for here oo!! Don't bring it here abeg!!

Op_ u'r rite."Dnt mind ur bizness"...















#FaceYourBizness

I definitely need a couch here.

All the single, sexy chicas can join me on the couch. Popcorn and beer is on me

I love this op chic.........

LML @ "PS: the "op-mind-your-bizness" crew, not for here oo!! Don't bring it here abeg!!"

I would sit beside aluta but e be like sey that couch get dust mites. Make I sidon jejely on my mat.

.

Don't really blame your friend, there are some advisory that are better left for the "experienced" cos you know what? The adviser have been there and is in a better position to lead you ALL the way through practically, not textbook or theories or here say.

Your friend definitely have fears, not every one would agree to having her spouse legally marrying another woman, paper or not, however hearing directly from a woman who have been through that route and still came out fine is an assurance. So OP, don't be hard on your friend.

ifyalways: Don't really blame your friend, there are some advisory that are better left for the "experienced" cos you know what? The adviser have been there and is in a better position to lead you ALL the way through practically, not textbook or theories or here say.

Your friend definitely have fears, not every one would agree to having her spouse legally marrying another woman, paper or not, however hearing directly from a woman who have been through that route and still came out fine is an assurance. So OP, don't be hard on your friend.

I agree, ladies are very jealous creatures

@op r u publicly encouraging marital fraud on the third biggest forum in the world?

u r a disgrace

kilokeys: @op r u publicly encouraging marital fraud on the third biggest forum in the world?
u r a disgrace

yeah! And good morning to you too.

I'm a disgrace to who/what exactly? Because you.... Mtchew!!! Plls! It's morning ooo! I no get time to go all crazy just yet. later, you hear?! I go help you press another 'like' sef, o e no go be say na just you.

ifyalways: Don't really blame your friend, there are some advisory that are better left for the "experienced" cos you know what? The adviser have been there and is in a better position to lead you ALL the way through practically, not textbook or theories or here say.
Your friend definitely have fears, not every one would agree to having her spouse legally marrying another woman, paper or not, however hearing directly from a woman who have been through that route and still came out fine is an assurance. So OP, don't be hard on your friend.

I know jor! But why should she now start misbehaving? Didn't she know? What did she expect? Even those that have spent several years to start the little they do, are still trying to get by. He is trying now! Nagging shouldn't even be in her acts, I swear!!!

polz: Op_ u'r rite."Dnt mind ur bizness"...
#FaceYourBizness

*nods* u try. uche na my name. If we all mind our businesses, living would be messed up. So why do churches have counseling units? Why are there 'Psychologists? Huh?

Why do some people depend on spending so much money on hearing what they already know from someone else, all in the name of 'Motivational Speaker?'

Because even negative outburst/emotion/ expressions shapes us in one way or they other. Ike your now... patience...till further notice.

@bananabender and alutacontinua: I'm smhing for you.

It's not about being single sometimes it's familiarity that brings " what does this one know"
Meanwhile, I don't agree with the advice you gave, morally it is wrong, it's better to hustle the right way that to follow all those short cuts for me sha.

I am a last child, most times when I give my elder ones information about issues that I work on and other things they ignore me and prefer to go and pay for the same advice, one time I even went with my sister and the consultant asked her " madam, you have this person with you and you still dey find information about this thing, she is one of the best we have in the field" my sister told him " this small baby wey I change her pampers no way".
It's not just about being single it's human nature or let me say our nature down here to assume wisdom can only come with age or certain Experience.
As for your friend they will survive, marriage is tough but better do it the right way and have peace than follow one short cut that will cause a lifetime of pain

It's totally difficult to satisfy a woman. You try to go the extra mile to satisfy her, she would say no. It's the only bad thing she would focus on, whether it's temporary or not it's not her business

Dont take it personaly but look at it logically.

Def there is common sense and everyone should have that and be able to advise people on that.
one doesnt have to be a parent to know that you should feed growing kids with healthy food and not with just fizzy drinks and sweets, however one needs to have experienced pregnancy to know how it really feels like.

Same applys to marriage and you sometimes have to have the experience to be able to fully understand the situation.

I disagree with your advise though. You cant build something fraudulently and expect good lasting results.
Yes he is back home with his wife and family where be belongs and Yes they are going through some stressful and hard times at the moment, but with time and with good counsel & the love and commitment that they have for each other, they will overcome and all this will be in the past. United we stand divided we fall.

Let them work out their differences themselves and you support them where neccesary. Sometimes people just want someone to talk to and vent to. They are not even looking for advise but enouragement and in this casses the person just needs to listen and say encouraging words.

She didn't reject your counsel because you are single but because you gave a very very wrong advice.

Where us your moral compass if you can be bold enough to state this weird advice of yours openly. Why can't we for once do away with this selfish me, myself and I alone.

You are concerned about your friend's well-being in total disregard for the lady to be married to. "Marry and divorce her later". It is as if it is that easy.

I hope you will be happy if a guy plays the marriage card with you to get something from you and dump you later.

There are several other legal means to get a resident permit without doing anything contrary to the law.

You are not only naive, you are morally bankrupt.


Some advices are better appreciated coming from somebody who already walked the same path than from someone who is using intuition.

Yes, singles can't give better and good advice in some situations except by inspiration.

My dear I totally get ur point dis marriage of a thing is highly over rated dats y women feel dat wen dey get married dey become superior even dan dier single elders, anyone can give advise weda single or married now she is prolly regretting she didn't take urs. I have married friends nd I advise dem dey listen, so nofin dere

bellong: She didn't reject your counsel because you are single but because you gave a very very wrong advice.

Where us your moral compass if you can be bold enough to state this weird advice of yours openly. Why can't we for once do away with this selfish me, myself and I alone.

You are concerned about your friend's well-being in total disregard for the lady to be married to. "Marry and divorce her later". It is as if it is that easy.

I hope you will be happy if a guy plays the marriage card with you to get something from you and dump you later.

There are several other legal means to get a resident permit without doing anything contrary to the law.

You are not only naive, you are morally bankrupt.


Some advices are better appreciated coming from somebody who already walked the same path than from someone who is using intuition.

Yes, singles can't give better and good advice in some situations except by inspiration.

My dear read wat d OP said. D marriage is an arrangement not a real or deceitful one, let's stop jumpling to conclusions nd I disagree with singles not been able to advise, we have married friends, our parents were married so we can also give advise ok

Shoefreak, this your advise na war. Advising the man to commit fraud. Do you know how long he is gonna stay pretending to be married and what happens to him if he got caught.

na wah o. If she had taken this advise of yours, maybe the man will be cooling off in jail.
all for obodo oyigbo

rozzay:
My dear read wat d OP said. D marriage is an arrangement not a real or deceitful one, let's stop jumpling to conclusions nd I disagree with singles not been able to advise, we have married friends, our parents were married so we can also give advise ok

There is nothing like arranged legal marriage when you have been married before. Except na muslim country we are talking about here. No wonder some of your married friends dont listen to yous

Chillisauce:

There is nothing like arranged legal marriage when you have been married before. Except na muslim country we are talking about here. No wonder some of your married friends dont listen to yous

Iwat is dis one saying was d wife dere with him or u just feel like talking abeg clear

Some comments amaze me y r we pretending like dis thing doesn't happen, it happens all d time o. I've seen it times without no, with d wife s agreement of cos. Haba, nlanders sef, everybody wan form holy

I was here..incase

I don't care if everyone is doing it, what is wrong is wrong.

OP, if your friend played the 'marriage' card on you when you gave that advise, she was right. No one who loves their spouse, would want to see them go the wrong way all for something that might not be worth it in the end.
An example: If your spouse was an auditor and had ways of enriching himself but chose not to even if things weren't too good at home, would you advise him to add/remove a few zeros because almost everyone was doing it?

When people make decisions that is right regardless of what the majority is doing, your duty as a friend - single or married - is to stand by those friends and encourage them since they might get a lot of backlash for their stand.

Your friend's hubby can make it here in Nigeria, it's just that he is fixated on going out.

It is wrong for a woman to encourage her man to defraud another woman.
So your friend did the right thing.
When women are happy that their husband's are marrying citizens for papers,they forget to remember that these women are humans like them who in all honesty may not know they are being used by the African men for their own selfish purposes.
It is disheartening that many women see no wrong in this as long as they are not the ones being used and dumped.

rozzay:
My dear read wat d OP said. D marriage is an arrangement not a real or deceitful one, let's stop jumpling to conclusions nd I disagree with singles not been able to advise, we have married friends, our parents were married so we can also give advise ok

shoefreak: I didn't know what topic to give the thread oo, so don't just chastise me over how 'weird/ inappropriate/misleading" or whatever else, the topic is.
This is personal and it really got to me.
Now, why do married folks always assume that a single/unmarried lady/guy has no right to give them any form of advice. They'd be like, "what do you know?" "wait until you have yours, then you can do it anyhow you like."
Shouldn't any form of advice be taken seriously?
Why this?
I have a friend, an older friend actually. Her husby used to live out of the country and had issues abroad. The solution to which was marriage to a citizen. He told his wife and she vex! Carry the matter for head Like Kilode!
I was like, would you want him to get deported when their is a solution? [b]Why not let him find a level headed person to do the thing with and then get a divorce later or whatever.[/b] She said I'm naive. What do I know? I was like okay, no p now.
The guy came Nigeria began to sit at home more often that he should, he has a small scale biz he does. Just a few months after, madam started to grumble. She started to nag and all that, husby brought my attention to it!
See the kind of 'with all due respect' I took yab her and him sef!!! No be to do the thing and confess After when everything don settle he supposed do? Mumu!! Mtcheww!!! Simple thing!!! But cos it came from me, she didn't listen and now I see the sadness in both of them.
The thing dey pain me! They love each other now. Last night she called around 11 ish, asking when.....are recruiting!
Come on!!! This marital vow thingy is just being over stretched!!! Can't common sense also be applied?
PS: the "op-mind-your-bizness" crew, not for here oo!! Don't bring it here abeg!!

Birds of a feather flock together.... I am not surprised, she has a supporter.

@Rozzay,

I think you should be the one to read the op again provided you have no comprehension issue. What is not deceitful in an arranged wedding? Luring an innocent woman to something for achieving a selfish end. It is not only deceitful but worth a life time in jail.

If this is the kind of advice you give your married friends, it is clear why they look down on you. With this your philosophy of life, marriage is not something you should be thinking about this time but take your time in purging and renewing your mind.

when next an error is pointed out, you could do well by not saying people are forming holy. It is not everybody that is morally bankrupt and corrupt.

BananaBender: I love this op chic.........

LML @ "PS: the "op-mind-your-bizness" crew, not for here oo!! Don't bring it here abeg!!"

I would sit beside aluta but e be like sey that couch get dust mites. Make I sidon jejely on my mat.

I said single, sexy chicas, NOT married-to-my-grandfather chicas
Now, shift your mat towards your hubby

bellong:



Birds of a feather flock together.... I am not surprised, she has a supporter.

@Rozzay,

I think you should be the one to read the op again provided you have no comprehension issue. What is not deceitful in an arranged wedding? Luring an innocent woman to something for achieving a selfish end. It is not only deceitful but worth a life time in jail.

If this is the kind of advice you give your married friends, it is clear why they look down on you. With this your philosophy of life, marriage is not something you should be thinking about this time but take your time in purging and renewing your mind.

when next an error is pointed out, you could do well by not saying people are forming holy. It is not everybody that is morally bankrupt and corrupt.

Thank u very much but I still point it out dat deres nofin wrong so stop making a mountain out of a mole hill, birds of a feather we are thank god I don't hide myself nd come online to form wat am not, who know who u r in ur closet, d man is used to staying abroad, now he s in naija nd he s not making it nd its causing issues, u r all saying he can make it, y don't u collect dier adress nd help him with some capital to start business abeg stop forming holy biko. Pls quote me again so u can preach more, am enjoying it

I posted this comment on a different thread some time ago. I think it also applies here.

cococandy: every marriage is different. That one is married isn't a proof that they are qualified to advise others. And that one is unmarried doesn't mean they can't offer insight into marital affairs. Marriages are families. Everyone belongs to one family or the other. So invariably,each person has had experiences relating to family issues.
Marriage in itself isn't a ceritificate of wisdom. So singles can have opinions about marriage issues. If they are making sense,why not listen?

alutacontinua: I definitely need a couch here.

All the single, sexy chicas can join me on the couch. Popcorn and beer is on me

shift for me pls, shift wella. I have a big ars.e oh, so hope you dont falling off the couch

That's not the worst thing that could have happened to him. If he had gone that path,he could have ended up in jail with attendant fine of 250 thousand dollars.
Or the oyibo wife could become attached and refuse to let go at the end of the contract.
What is he going to do? Take her to court and charge her for breach of contract?
And expose himself?

It works for some people. But mostly if they never had a wife back home. So if they divorce and marry again from their hometown,it's not a problem taking their new wives over their. But if legally married at home and seeking marriage again overseas,the home wives most times see themselves staying home for decades with no respite in sight.

It could be worse.
Let him start his life with his darling wife at home.

rozzay:
Thank u very much but I still point it out dat deres nofin wrong so stop making a mountain out of a mole hill, birds of a feather we are thank god I don't hide myself nd come online to form wat am not, who know who u r in ur closet, d man is used to staying abroad, now he s in naija nd he s not making it nd its causing issues, u r all saying he can make it, y don't u collect dier adress nd help him with some capital to start business abeg stop forming holy biko. Pls quote me again so u can preach more, am enjoying it

Tashamania:

shift for me pls, shift wella. I have a big ars.e oh, so hope you dont falling off the couch

I like big ar*es
come closer, so, you don't fall

alutacontinua:


I like big ar*es
come closer, so, you don't fall

can i stay and watch...

#goga

rozzay:
Thank u very much but I still point it out dat deres nofin wrong so stop making a mountain out of a mole hill, birds of a feather we are thank god I don't hide myself nd come online to form wat am not, who know who u r in ur closet, d man is used to staying abroad, now he s in naija nd he s not making it nd its causing issues, u r all saying he can make it, y don't u collect dier adress nd help him with some capital to start business abeg stop forming holy biko. Pls quote me again so u can preach more, am enjoying it

Ok... You already got my attention.

Have a good day.

alutacontinua:


I like big ar*es
come closer, so, you don't fall

If I come closer, you will fall so respect your self and shift