"WAEC seized my English results
thrice" - Patrick Obahiagbon.

An interview with Gbenro Adeoye of Punch Newspaper.

Did you write exams in school in these big words?

I used such words very-very freely in my exams both at the secondary school and in my university and little wonder I had the misfortune of my English results being seized intermittently in my O’ Levels.

WAEC released my results for the other subjects and withheld my English result. This happened for about three years. Twice, I passed the University Matriculation Examination but I could not proceed to the University because of my English results that were not released. At the end of the day, it was released after the third attempt.

Why do you always speak ‘big
grammar’? (The guy find trouble here)

I am not really consensus ad idem with those who opine that my idiolect is advertently obfuscative. No no no, it’s just that I am in my elements when the colloquy has to do with the pax Nigeriana of our dreams and one necessarily needs to fulminate against the alcibiadian modus vivendi of our prebendal political class.

How do you talk to your wife, children and even your friends?

I relate with my family and friends very warmly and in an atmosphere of camaraderie, stripped of my confutational habiliment and gladiatorial homilies. I am a very peaceful, calm, level-headed and celestially attuned soul personality.

Is this the way you proposed to your wife, speaking high tech grammar?

Of course, the business of the day
when I interfaced with my wife on
matters of the heart had to be in plain Caeser’s language and you can
decipher why that had to be so.
The matter in view did not permit itself of sphinxian conundrum.

Do you know that many people don’t take you too seriously when you talk because they think you are not communicating?

Why will I be perturbed from
ensconcing myself in the palatable
arms of Morpheus because people
have deprived themselves of the
cultivation of the regime of the mental magnitude? I read all the farrago of baloneys and vacuous bunkum from pepper soup objurgators. The spirit of animadversion remains their
fundamental human right. It also
remains an indubitable fact that I get
millions and millions of requests daily from people all over the world
requesting for my verbal mentorship
which positive cosmopolitan reactions have assisted my equipoise and righteous sense of pachydermatous garb. I cannot put my nose to the grindstone daily and expect to be understood by those luxuriating in a modus vivendi, verging on pepper souping, goat heading, suyaing, big stouting and isiewulising. Has a philosophical wag not once pontificated that things of the spirit are spiritually discerned and that it takes the deep to call the deep. We will speak more on this matter of critiques and chichi dodo another day.

Why do you pull your trousers up
beyond the waist?

Hahahaha….That trousers style is called Yohji Yamamoto. It was my own audacious statement to remonstrate against the pervasive tendency of Nigerians especially our youths that took to the practice of putting on trousers exposing their lower anatomical contours and I will do it over and over again.

HEHEHEHEHE... HON. PATRICK NO GO KEE PESIN OOO

Chai, make I take Panadol Extra,
I get headache, I dey come hehehehe.

Speechless

But, how did interviewer manage to write it down?

mod move to joke section

...I cannot put my nose to the grindstone daily and expect to be understood by those luxuriating in a modus vivendi, verging on pepper souping, goat heading, suyaing, big stouting and isiewulising...

Somebody please help me from language-induced laughter before i go haywire . Can't help myself and i've lost too much tears as it is. Bingo !!!

This is thick, this is serious. I'm happy this man came in my generation.

This man need deliverance from english

jacabi:
But, how did interviewer manage to write it down?

exactly what I wanted to ask. How did the interviewer codified the exact spellings of what he pronounced?

Who will translate
Ba turanci

nickxtra:
exactly what I wanted to ask. How did the interviewer codified the exact spellings of what he pronounced?

That has been my thought whenever I'm reading his interview.

e no concern me atall atall.

EVEN THE BRITISH WILL BE ASTONISH BY THIS MAN LINGUISTIC

Rikidony:
EVEN THE BRITISH WILL BE ASTONISH BY THIS MAN LINGUISTIC

They must be like "wtf he's for real"

This verbal crinkum crankum is directly proportional to the personality verbosing the lingua. I am not fazed that his spokesmanship has laid a lot of obfuscated elements to their early graves adorned without botanical identities.. He is a compendium of the cranial manipulative psychosis of the highest order built to comission the destruction of the proverbial walls of Jerico in this modern times. Ka chineke mezie okwu.

;Dthis man sha

cegxie:
This verbal crinkum crankum is directly proportional to the personality verbosing the lingua. I am not fazed that his spokesmanship has laid a lot of obfuscated elements to their early graves adorned without botanical identities.. He is a compendium of the cranial manipulative psychosis of the highest order built to comission the destruction of the proverbial walls of Jerico in this modern times. Ka chineke mezie okwu.

nice one

English manipulator

codedmax:

[size=14pt]Why do you pull your trousers up
beyond the waist?

Hahahaha….That trousers style is called Yohji Yamamoto. It was my own audacious statement to remonstrate against the pervasive tendency of Nigerians especially our youths that took to the practice of putting on trousers exposing their lower anatomical contours and I will do it over and over again[/size].
.

Please, can somebody be kind enough to re-post that now infamous picture of The Honorable Patrick Obahiagbon wearing the fearsome Yohji Yamamoto trousers referred to in the above quote. This is an important aspect of Nigerian history that must be duly recorded and noted.

Thank you for your cooperation, and may the Krinum-Krankum of life's vicissitudes never darken the doorway of your residential domicile. Amen.

chinwike2:
English manipulator

yeah but you can only manipulate what you have. You know, when the up stair is rich you can manipulate it any how. At least he did not belong to this generation of lazy students who are in school to chased girls/man instead of being serious with their books/studies.

pls i realy dnt know. Are his grammers actualy correct?

That funny, with all his big grammar, they seized his Wasc result.. interesting.