MUST READ: 10 Experinces That Signal You're In Love - Family - Nairaland
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| MUST READ: 10 Experinces That Signal You're In Love by MizMyColi(f): 9:15pm On Oct 15, 2014 |
"How do I know when I'm really in love?" "What does it mean to be in love?" "I think I'm in love, but then I have doubts. If I have doubts, does that mean I'm not in love?" "I feel in love, but why is this sometimes so hard?" "I feel in love, but I've felt this way before and it didn't work out. How do I know? Such a big question! And we all wish there was an easy answer -- a formula we could follow to determine if we are in love. I don't exactly have a formula for you, but I do have a list of things to watch for that may be of help to you. Before I get into what determines whether or not you are in love, let's differentiate between being in love and being infatuated. [size=14pt]Infatuation[/size] Being infatuated comes from a completely different place within than being in love. Being infatuated comes from the same place as other addictions -- from the ego-wounded self. The ego-wounded self is needy and empty within, and wants to get filled externally by another through sex, attention and approval. When infatuated, you experience the kind of euphoria that you might experience with a recreational drug. There is an intensity of sexual lust and a sense of urgency to be with the other person. Unless love enters the experience, it is short-lived. You are in your wounded self, feeling needy and empty, when you are rejecting and abandoning yourself -- looking for another to care for you. Your self-rejection/self-abandonment is what creates the inner neediness and emptiness that leads to the urgency -- and sometimes desperation -- of infatuation. [size=14pt]In Love[/size] 1. You are operating as a loving adult, not as your ego-wounded self. Being in love comes from a full, secure, inwardly connected place within -- a loving, adult place. In order to feel full, secure and inwardly connected, you need to be taking responsibility for your own feelings rather than rejecting and abandoning yourself. You cannot truly love another when you don't accept and love yourself. Not loving yourself leads to neediness rather than security, which then leads to infatuation, not love. If your sense of security is dependent on the other person, then you are in need rather than in love. 2. You see, value and deeply connect with the essence of the other person. Being in love is about deeply valuing and connecting with who the other person really is -- not just how they look or what they do for you. In order to see, value and connect with the true essence of another, you need to be able to see, value and connect with your own true essence. In order for you to do this, you will have had to do your own inner work to learn to love and value your own true self. 3. Your physical attraction to them is more than skin deep. Sexual chemistry is a mysterious thing. While it may start based on how a person looks or from your feelings of lust for the person, over time it evolves into a deeper valuing of who the person is and a desire to share your love with them in a loving and passionate physical way. You love to be next to them. Their energy feels great to you, as does their touch. Making love with your beloved is not just a satisfying physical experience. It is also a deeply satisfying emotional and spiritual experience. 4. You receive deep joy in giving to your beloved. You have allowed your beloved to matter to you, so your beloved's happiness is important to you. Rather than feeling put upon when your partner needs something from you, you receive joy in being able to give to and support your partner in many ways. You receive joy from their joy and pain from their pain, while not making them responsible for your pain and joy. You are empathic and compassionate with them without losing your sense of self. You deeply desire to support both your own highest good and your partner's highest good. You want the very best for both of you. 5. Along with the physical spark, connection and flow, there is an emotional spark, connection and flow. You love spending time with your beloved, just being together, talking and sharing yourselves with each other. Conversation flows easily between you, and you are also very comfortable being silent with each other. There is a warm flow of energy between you even when you are doing different things in the same room. You can feel connected with each other even from a distance. 6. You are committed to working through conflict in loving ways. Rather than seeing conflict as a deal-breaker or as something to be avoided, you see conflict as an opportunity to learn and grow together. Rather than fearing losing yourself in a conflict -- or feeling that you have to be right and win -- you feel open and curious to learning about your beloved's way of seeing things. You feel a deep commitment to working through the hard times. You have no desire to give up on the relationship. 7. You laugh and have fun with each other. You and your beloved enjoy playing together. Laughter flows easily between you. At times, you find each other fun and funny. You appreciate your beloved's sense of humor and you feel on the same page regarding what tickles you. 8. You feel safe to share your deepest self with your beloved. You are not walking on eggshells, trying to avoid your partner's judgment. You know you can mess up without losing your partner's love and caring. You feel safe to share your fears and hurts with your partner -- even when they are about your partner -- and you are empathically and compassionately available to be there for your partner's fears and hurts, even when they are about you. You feel accepting of your beloved's challenges. Opening to each other on ever-deeper levels creates a deep level of physical and emotional intimacy. 9. You don't expect to be on cloud nine all the time. You know you love your partner, even when you don't feel "in love." In fact, you don't expect to feel in love all the time. You know that in loving relationships, you move close and then move away, and then move close and then away, like the tide. You accept that this is the natural rhythm of a loving relationship and don't doubt your love during the more distant times. 10. You don't keep thinking that there is someone better out there. Because you feel a deep soul connection with your partner, you have no desire to wander. You know that while there may be many wonderful people out there, this is the person you want to be with. This is the person you want to journey with toward learning to love yourself and love him or her on ever-deeper levels. If you have other ideas of what lets you know you are in love. I'd love to see them. [url=m.huffpost.com/us/entry/3057453]Source[/url] 13 Likes 7 Shares |
| Re: MUST READ: 10 Experinces That Signal You're In Love by valmunich(m): 9:20pm On Oct 15, 2014 |
Me likey!  But it has been more of infatuation lately  2 Likes |
| Re: MUST READ: 10 Experinces That Signal You're In Love by adonbilivit: 9:21pm On Oct 15, 2014 |
i love falling in love...hmm,i am in love four girls and i can see all of these signs. 1 Like |
| Re: MUST READ: 10 Experinces That Signal You're In Love by Nobody: 9:26pm On Oct 15, 2014 |
Sittinq back watching these paper falling on my lap,nothing but them hundred stacks,when my money up tell me who am i suppose to trust,every night F4cking different women up.......... 2 Likes 2 Shares |
| Re: MUST READ: 10 Experinces That Signal You're In Love by Infomizer(m): 9:58pm On Oct 15, 2014 |
All the points spell the same thing to me...Limerence |
| Re: MUST READ: 10 Experinces That Signal You're In Love by MizMyColi(f): 10:04pm On Oct 15, 2014 |
Infomizer: That's covered in Infatuation @TheEmboldened |
| Re: MUST READ: 10 Experinces That Signal You're In Love by killzone(m): 10:18pm On Oct 15, 2014 |
But Op does true love even sef love exist these days |
| Re: MUST READ: 10 Experinces That Signal You're In Love by MizMyColi(f): 10:20pm On Oct 15, 2014 |
| Re: MUST READ: 10 Experinces That Signal You're In Love by Nobody: 10:37pm On Oct 15, 2014 |
Nice distinctions. They are in fact true. i know when a guy is infatuated with me. I think Love is a deep word and its a pity its been bastardized to mean nothing these days. Lust is now Love . 2 Likes |
| Re: MUST READ: 10 Experinces That Signal You're In Love by Infomizer(m): 11:37pm On Oct 15, 2014 |
MizMyColi:My point actually is that everything you listed has their roots in limerence... |
| Re: MUST READ: 10 Experinces That Signal You're In Love by dre11(m): 12:38am On Oct 16, 2014 |
Love... Love.. .. Love We can't understand the essence of love until we understand the connecting dots that makes the experience a worthwhile So.. ... Love is spiritual to me, it has no definition but u appreciate it when u feel it's effect and presence 2 Likes |
| Re: MUST READ: 10 Experinces That Signal You're In Love by finsulyman: 3:54am On Oct 16, 2014 |
Observe how sex affects your feelings. After you have sex with your partner, you feelest of your life. Think about how long you've een in the relationship. You have known the person Observe how sex affects your feelings. After you have sex with your partner, you feel closer to him or her. For you, affection and post-coital cuddling are just as important as sex, although you love to keep the flame alive. Sex is not the most important part of your relationship and you would still want to be with them even if did not involve sex or you had to wait for them. |
| Re: MUST READ: 10 Experinces That Signal You're In Love by elipheleh(m): 3:55am On Oct 16, 2014 |
g 1 Like |
| Re: MUST READ: 10 Experinces That Signal You're In Love by tuffgongjo(m): 3:56am On Oct 16, 2014 |
How can I fall in love when I can't even manage to fall asleep? Does that sh#t still exist? 1 Like |
| Re: MUST READ: 10 Experinces That Signal You're In Love by Atmmachine(m): 3:56am On Oct 16, 2014 |
# There is nothing called LOVE
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| Re: MUST READ: 10 Experinces That Signal You're In Love by uken73(m): 3:57am On Oct 16, 2014 |
Does one need a check list to know he/she is in love? |
| Re: MUST READ: 10 Experinces That Signal You're In Love by Nobody: 3:57am On Oct 16, 2014 |
The magnitude of the word "Love" is not crystallized in its definition nor in analysis. I have always opined that love just like happiness doesn't exist so to speak. Perhaps I should say they do not exist in the form that we see it. Humans do not have the capacity to love. We only exercise responsibility. A responsibility to children, to wife, to friends, to family etc This is because given certain circumstances, love will fail and at that point we usually question if such person truly loved us. It is a delusion and an illusion. The only love that exist is in the account of the Bible and which is of God towards man. This is my personal opinion. As in happiness too. Happiness doesn't exist so to speak. This is because happiness is a temporary state and there is no such thing as being happy the way humans see it. People believe you can stay happy but I believe we can be happy for moments and then we fall back to some other states. Don't really know how to explain sha but I do not buy all those lines above from the OP. Stop deceiving yourself folks. We can only exercise love as a responsibility. 7 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: MUST READ: 10 Experinces That Signal You're In Love by abbeyoye2001(m): 3:57am On Oct 16, 2014 |
Love naa money ooo, love naa money* sing along with me |
| Re: MUST READ: 10 Experinces That Signal You're In Love by Atmmachine(m): 3:59am On Oct 16, 2014 |
# Story for the gods. This is 2014, Do people still fall in love ?? 1 Like
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| Re: MUST READ: 10 Experinces That Signal You're In Love by uche988(m): 4:00am On Oct 16, 2014 |
Ok nah |
| Re: MUST READ: 10 Experinces That Signal You're In Love by Dreal1247: 4:01am On Oct 16, 2014 |
Everyone is uniquely different from others. Not all are applicable to everyone |
| Re: MUST READ: 10 Experinces That Signal You're In Love by Estimable(m): 4:01am On Oct 16, 2014 |
ONE Love Keep Us Together......... ONE Love Bind Us Together......... |
| Re: MUST READ: 10 Experinces That Signal You're In Love by Blitz4real(m): 4:02am On Oct 16, 2014 |
Love don't live here 1 Like |
| Re: MUST READ: 10 Experinces That Signal You're In Love by remmyton(f): 4:03am On Oct 16, 2014 |
Kkk |
| Re: MUST READ: 10 Experinces That Signal You're In Love by Nobody: 4:04am On Oct 16, 2014 |
TRUE! |
| Re: MUST READ: 10 Experinces That Signal You're In Love by Talkloaded: 4:07am On Oct 16, 2014 |
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| Re: MUST READ: 10 Experinces That Signal You're In Love by Freest(m): 4:09am On Oct 16, 2014 |
Right now, i think am im love with my sleep!!! By the way nice one op! U nailed it. Back to the love of my life  |
| Re: MUST READ: 10 Experinces That Signal You're In Love by kenbee(f): 4:09am On Oct 16, 2014 |
am in love then |
| Re: MUST READ: 10 Experinces That Signal You're In Love by njuwo(m): 4:09am On Oct 16, 2014 |
5 Things You Might Not Know About Love; 1. Love is not romance. It's not sexual desire. It's not even that special bond you feel with family or significant others. And perhaps most challenging of all, love is neither lasting nor unconditional. The radical shift we need to make is this: Love, as your body experiences it, is a micro- moment of connection shared with another. Barbara Fredrickson studies positive psychology. Barbara Fredrickson studies positive psychology. 2. Love is not exclusive. We tend to think of love in the same breath as loved ones. When you take these to be only your innermost circle of family and friends, you inadvertently and severely constrain your opportunities for health, growth and well-being. In reality, you can experience micro- moments of connection with anyone -- whether your soul mate or a stranger. So long as you feel safe and can forge the right kind of connection, the conditions for experiencing the emotion of love are in place. 3. Love doesn't belong to one person. We tend to think of emotions as private events, confined to one person's mind and skin. Upgrading our view of love defies this logic. Evidence suggests that when you really "click" with someone else, a discernible yet momentary synchrony emerges between the two of you, as your gestures and biochemistries, even your respective neural firings, come to mirror one another in a pattern I call positivity resonance. Love is a biological wave of good feeling and mutual care that rolls through two or more brains and bodies at once. 4. Making eye contact is a key gateway for love. Your body has the built-in ability to "catch" the emotions of those around you, making your prospects for love -- defined as micro- moments of positivity resonance -- nearly limitless. As hopeful as this sounds, I also learned that you can thwart this natural ability if you don't make eye contact with the other person. Meeting eyes is a key gatekeeper to neural synchrony. 5. Love fortifies the connection between your brain and your heart, making you healthier. Decades of research show that people who are more socially connected live longer and healthier lives. Yet precisely how social ties affect health has remained one of the great mysteries of science. My research team and I recently learned that when we randomly assign one group of people to learn ways to create more micro- moments of love in daily live, we lastingly improve the function of the vagus nerve, a key conduit that connects your brain to your heart. This discovery provides a new window into how micro-moments of love serve as nutrients. See more at http://njuwo..com |
| Re: MUST READ: 10 Experinces That Signal You're In Love by Nlmadfreak: 4:10am On Oct 16, 2014 |
Really?? So now I'm in love? Lmao............................ Me no know ooo |
| Re: MUST READ: 10 Experinces That Signal You're In Love by kennynelcon(m): 4:15am On Oct 16, 2014 |
Every time love... stupid love. Get through love of Christ and be safe. 1 Like |
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