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She didn't wanna get pregnant but she refused protection
My dear, somebody is luring you into marriage for some reason known to her
wake up and be smart

Chai dat girl is way smatter than you use ur head bro ur woman jst want to rope u in wit pregnancy face ur studies for now dat is more important than anytin dat d best advice I can give u.

Do u know wt an SS child will do to u, u aren't even financially stable. I don't even think u r mature enough for that kind of responsibility. Abort and move on with your lives. Dis modern times n u still didn't insist on a condom. Don't people think about HIV again? Abi you think is a joke?

@jaye&aluta tnx 4ur contributions but my problem now is the pregnancy.I wouldn't want her to abort it but she insists because of our blood.And should she keeps it marrying an incompactible blood will be another problem.More advice pls

Honestly I won't advice u to keep dat pregnancy it better u dnt give birth to a child that will make ur life miserable though it hard to say dis bt pls get rid of that pregnancy and face ur studies nw bro.

roughdiamond:
@jaye&aluta tnx 4ur contributions but my problem now is the pregnancy.I wouldn't want her to abort it but she insists because of our blood.And should she keeps it marrying an incompactible blood will be another problem.More advice pls

if you wanna keep your baby, it's a big risk but it seems like you're willing to take it
your gf ain't even planning to abort the baby anyways, she's just playing you with the whole abortion story, she knew you were gonna object.

I think you should be sure that baby is yours and stop talking marriage for now, something does not feel right about this story

misssPepper:
Dis modern times n u still didn't insist on a condom. Don't people think about HIV again? Abi you think is a joke?

Actually it was my 1st time of going unprotected,but i hate regrets.It never provides any solution.Tnx so much 4ur concern

alutacontinua:



if you wanna keep your baby, it's a big risk but it seems like you're willing to take it
something does not feel right about this story

yeah,i am willing to take it.It's my mistake&i have to pay 4it.But she so much complains of her family,school&our blood.But what disturbs me is the issue of dat blood.As for d strory,it's to my honest truth.Tnx though

roughdiamond:
I posted this on Romance section but not getting enough matured advice i need.pls i believe ppl here are more advanced.pls help

Pls nairalanders i need ur help on this situation.I
started dating dis girl in 2010 but we broke-up in
2011.I tried all i could to bring her back but no way
so i let go.But the truth is that i loved this girl so
much&couldn't find any other girl to replace her in
my life.Last month,she called me,we talked&i promised to see her.we met&finally made up again
but while we were discussing,we found out dat our
blood are incompactible(AS&AS).we felt
heartbroken again but later reached with an
agreement to continue till marriage time&we will
seperate.As we are still students.But @month ending,she visited in skul&during d act(s*x&really
our 1st time since our broke-up)i brought out
condom but she refused dat she prefers it raw&i
agreed.But just 2day she cald dat she is
pregnant&asked 4my opinion,i told her to keep it
but she said no because of our blood.Though we are still in skul(finals)&depend on our parents,i
want to settle down with her because of my love
for her.But d major problem is our blood&our
church can't wed us.what can i do pls.Ur mature
contributions..

i will still give u the same advice i gave at the romance section....trust me man u dnt want to father sickle cell anaemic kid/kids.....kids who cant live as others, who are constantly hospitalised, who live with the fear of dying at any time, who might render u bankrupt due to persistent illness, whose cries and sufferings can make u lose appetite for days or even grow hypertension if u are not emotionally strong, whose wailings knows neither night nor day. choossssssssssse wisely..

misssPepper:
Do u know wt an SS child will do to u, u aren't even financially stable. I don't even think u r mature enough for that kind of responsibility. Abort and move on with your lives. Dis modern times n u still didn't insist on a condom. Don't people think about HIV again? Abi you think is a joke?

him head go dey tell am say sickle cell na malaria and typhoid wey u go rush go chemist buy panadol....it can drain a financially stable pocket let alone ordinary pocket money...even his skul fees for a whole acadenmic session wont even foot the medication of an ss patient for 4 months..

Young man you have positioned yourself for a depressed and rough life presently and in the future, especially if you take another wrong step..there are many variables stacked against you based off your story and this is because you were making emotional decisions, rather than being pragmatic, I always warn men, desist from making emotional decisions, when those critical moments come, do away with emotions, be realistic, when emotions fade, reality sets in and it stares you right in your face..

You sound very naive irrespective of your age and the lady in questions seems more experienced and has already made calculations, how she is able to determine she is pregnant after 2 days is still questionable, some might argue science has invented quicker means but you did not mention that either..

Confirm the authenticity of her pregnancy through a test, if it is positive, you have to take responsibility for your actions, man up dude, after all na you fall for eve, personally I am against abortions but that view is subjective, I would suggest she keeps the child, both of you being AS does not guarantee a SS during her first try, if luck shines on you and the child turns out AS or AA after crossing na you Sabi, if it turns out SS it's still your child and you must father that child..but you have to be ready for more challenges with a SS child..

The era when pregnancies are used to trap a man is lonnnnnnng gone, avoid getting married now irrespective of how much love you both have, especially if the feeling is mutual, you must both be mature enough to accept the timing is not right, there is more to life than getting your self entangled without basic and fundamental tools to support a marriage, family and the responsibilities that accompany this calling, you are still an unemployed student from a very humble home I suspect, her situation might not be any different from yours..

Talk to your parents, the relevance of this point can never be overemphasized, call both of them at night open up, you are still their child, apologize for what you are about to disclose, they have a right to be disappointed and angry, but I am telling you if you are sincere and have always been good to them, they would have your back now more than ever, talk to your siblings too, you need all the support you can get now, after the child is born, if your lady refuses to have anything to do with the child talk to your parents about them helping in raising the child and you focus on investing in yourself, improving and using this experience to better yourself..prove to yourself and your parents that you are indeed serious about righting your wrongs.

Above all, may God grant you the courage to make wise decisions and be firm with your decisions..

Roland17:
Young man you have positioned yourself for a depressed and rough life presently and in the future, especially if you take another wrong step..there are many variables stacked against you based off your story and this is because you were making emotional decisions, rather than being pragmatic, I always warn men, desist from making emotional decisions, when those critical moments come, do away with emotions, be realistic, when emotions fade, reality sets in and it stares you right in your face..

You sound very naive irrespective of your age and the lady in questions seems more experienced and has already made calculations, how she is able to determine she is pregnant after 2 days is still questionable, some might argue science has invented quicker means but you did not mention that either..

Confirm the authenticity of her pregnancy through a test, if it is positive, you have to take responsibility for your actions, man up dude, after all na you fall for eve, personally I am against abortions but that view is subjective, I would suggest she keeps the child, both of you being AS does not guarantee a SS during her first try, if luck shines on you and the child turns out AS or AA after crossing na you Sabi, if it turns out SS it's still your child and you must father that child..but you have to be ready for more challenges with a SS child..

The era when pregnancies are used to trap a man is lonnnnnnng gone, avoid getting married now irrespective of how much love you both have, especially if the feeling is mutual, you must both be mature enough to accept the timing is not right, there is more to life than getting your self entangled without basic and fundamental tools to support a marriage, family and the responsibilities that accompany this calling, you are still an unemployed student from a very humble home I suspect, her situation might not be any different from yours..

Talk to your parents, the relevance of this point can never be overemphasized, call both of them at night open up, you are still their child, apologize for what you are about to disclose, they have a right to be disappointed and angry, but I am telling you if you are sincere and have always been good to them, they would have your back now more than ever, talk to your siblings too, you need all the support you can get now, after the child is born, if your lady refuses to have anything to do with the child talk to your parents about them helping in raising the child and you focus on investing in yourself, improving and using this experience to better yourself..prove to yourself and your parents that you are indeed serious about righting your wrongs.

Above all, may God grant you the courage to make wise decisions and be firm with your decisions..

Well said. I think you comprehensively tackled just about everything that needed to be said.

@OP The genotype AS marrying another AS thing is a tad bit overrated, to be honest. The chances of having both AA and SS homozygous genotypes are 25% respectively - with the heterozygous genotype AS being the dominant one. And you might not even have any kid with the genotype SS, if the AA genotype is dominant in your lineage (most especially your parents and hers). So, don't fret.

Also, there are certain medical proceedures out there now, whereby genetic risks can be corrected, during the early stage.

SirShymex:


Well said. I think you comprehensively tackled just about everything that needed to be said.

@OP The genotype AS marrying another AS thing is a tad bit overrated, to be honest. The chances of having both AA and SS homozygous genotypes are 25% respectively - with the heterozygous genotype AS being the dominant one. And you might not even have any kid with the genotype SS, if the AA genotype is dominant in your lineage (most especially your parents and hers). So, don't fret.

Also, there are certain medical proceedures out there now, whereby genetic risks can be corrected, during the early stage.

This too is true. But the 25% chance exists for each new birth. Not like he cannot have SS children all through too. So care still needs to be taken. It would make more sense he sticks to your second suggestion, where things may be corrected in the early stages.

destante:
This too is true. But the 25% chance exists for each new birth. Not like he cannot have SS children all through too. So care still needs to be taken. It would make more sense he sticks to your second suggestion, where things may be corrected in the early stages.

However, I don't actually think people should deny themselves eternal joy and comfort, especially when the probability of having a kid like that is medically low. If he thinks the lady in question is his soulmate, and someone he sees himself living the rest of his life with - it's a risk worth taking. Life itself is all about taking risks, and being alive is a risk.

In life, certain people are rare breeds, and you only meet them like once in a lifetime. And once you let them go, you might live your whole lifetime without finding a replacement for the unique gifts and value they added to your life.

I think the OP and his girl also need to should check their parents' genotypes because they'll also contribute to the genetic make-up of their grandchildren.

SirShymex:

However, I don't actually think people should deny themselves eternal joy and comfort, especially when the probability of having a kid like that is medically low. If he thinks the lady in question is his soulmate, and someone he sees himself living the rest of his life with - it's a risk worth taking. Life itself is all about taking risks, and being alive is a risk.
In life, certain people are rare breeds, and you only meet them like once in a lifetime. And once you let them go, you might live your whole lifetime without finding a replacement for the unique gifts and value they added to your life.
I think the OP and his girl also need to should check their parents' genotypes because they'll also contribute to the genetic make-up of their grandchildren.

Sometimes in life, it's best to avoid situations that will cause a lifetime of heartache and regrets. The love he thinks he feels for her now is nothing compared to the never ending cycle of pain and suffering that child will have, if it turns out to be an SS genotype baby. And the point destante made about the 25% chance of having an SS genotype child per pregnancy is spot on. Having all SS genotype kids is a real possibility and when push comes to shove, more often than not, it's the man who ups sticks and does one, leaving wifey holding onto the sick kids. He would be the one to start "afresh" and this time, with an AA partner, while the woman would be left to shoulder the burden of looking after the SS genotype kids. She wouldn't have the luxury to start afresh like him.

And there is the real possibility of losing the kids quite early on too. No parent ever wants to bury their kids.

Anyway, this is all talk. @OP and this girl of his should spend a couple of days in a hospital / care home / orphanage looking after kids with SS genotype for real life scenarios. Let them both go speak to emotionally frazzled parents of SS genotype kids, and ask them whether if they could turn back the hands of time - knowing what they know now - whether they would still marry themselves (i.e: AS versus AS).

EfemenaXY:

Sometimes in life, it's best to avoid situations that will cause a lifetime of heartache and regrets. The love he thinks he feels for her now is nothing compared to the never ending cycle of pain and suffering that child will have, if it turns out to be an SS genotype baby. And the point destante made about the 25% chance of having an SS genotype child per pregnancy is spot on. Having all SS genotype kids is a real possibility and when push comes to shove, more often than not, it's the man who ups sticks and does one, leaving wifey holding onto the sick kids. He would be the one to start "afresh" and this time, with an AA partner, while the woman would be left to shoulder the burden of looking after the SS genotype kids. She wouldn't have the luxury to start afresh like him.

And there is the real possibility of losing the kids quite early on too. No parent ever wants to bury their kids.

Anyway, this is all talk. @OP and this girl of his should spend a couple of days in a hospital / care home / orphanage looking after kids with SS genotype for real life scenarios. Let them both go speak to emotionally frazzled parents of SS genotype kids, and ask them whether if they could turn back the hands of time - knowing what they know now - whether they would still marry themselves (i.e: AS versus AS).

Well, you have a point.

However, since an embryo is involved now - what do you think they can do? Abort, or keep it?

^^ That is another discourse for discussion.

I can easily drum up several reasons why they should abort, just as I can easily sway for them keeping it...but at the end of the day, it's their choice (especially hers) to make.

If they do decide to keep it, he'll have to find the means to support (financially and emotionally) that kid. His studies, feedom, and even immediate plans for the future will have to take a back seat as that child's needs will become priority over everything else.

Roland17:

how she is able to determine she is pregnant after 2 days is still questionable,
The era when pregnancies are used to trap a man is lonnnnnnng gone, avoid getting married now irrespective of how much love you both have, especially if the feeling is mutual, you must both be mature enough to accept the timing is not right, there is more to life than getting your self entangled without basic and fundamental tools to support a marriage, family and the responsibilities that accompany this calling, you are still an unemployed student from a very humble home I suspect, her situation might not be any different from yours..
prove to yourself and your parents that you are indeed serious about righting your wrongs.

From my post i said just 2day,meaning dat she just called today.She found out after 2weeks.Yeah,marrying now will greatly affect our future&i don't need to be told dat i hav a very bright future.My plan is to plan&work along with her for brighter future.As per family,my family may not hav much problem but my friends&ppl around me.People so much believe in me both @home,in skul&wherever i go but i hav my life to live&confident dat i can make up to everybody.But where i am so much confused is dat she is a medical student&she told me she did d test herself.I am so much tied up in skul with course work,so i referred her to go for another test with my elder sister but she objected insisting dat i should come by myself.I wouldn't like to mess up with studies now as dat will affect our future.Though as situation demanded,i will go&confirm it's mine just like other posters hav said.Though i so much trusted her,it will be so stupid if i don't make my findings well.
@other posters,i found ur posts so supportive&challenging too.Tnx for all ur care&support,may God bless u all

SirShymex:


Well, if you have a point.

However, since an embryo is involved now - what do you think they can do? Abort, or keep it?

you said it well efemenaxy.
Now that a fetus is involved, your second option may be considered. That is the changes that could be done at the early stages. Mind sharing some if you have an idea?

roughdiamond:
Actually it was my 1st time of going unprotected,but i hate regrets.It never provides any solution.Tnx so much 4ur concern

How are you sure this your babe is pregnant and that she's not playing pranks. You said she called you to inform you, I think the first step is you guys going to the hospital together and also find out how far she has gone.

@ RoughDiamond, i think that girl of urs is a criminal (the gods forgv me if i am wrong). She called you up after some years of refusing to get back togeda and agreed to get back togeda. During time for sex, you went for protection, she said she wanted it raw. Now my point is this...i think she already knows she is pregnant for some other guy who probably has denied her or somthing. And she knows how naive you are,and is trying to lay the paternity on you-that explains why she is confident to have the baby(eventhough she is doing it in a subtle manner),she knows it cant be AS cos you are not the father. I hope i made myself clear. Its now left for you to let her know you will be needing a paternity test after the child is born and you would walk out on her if the child aint yours.

sparkymummy:

How are you sure this your babe is pregnant and that she's not playing pranks. You said she called you to inform you, I think the first step is you guys going to the hospital together and also find out how far she has gone.

i agree with you on that, find out how far she has gone if she is truly pregnant.

@spark,Yes i agree with u but my problem is dat i am writting exams which was y i referred her to my sister but she refused.I wouldn't want anytin dat will affect my exams.Her story is 2confusing&all i was running away from is dat word ''all men are wicked''by women.But for now,i hav to concentrate on my exams.
@Dorem,Yes i understood ur points&u are on point.Though she mayb trying 2b smart but i am foolishly following her wit my senses.She told me dat she was on her period d day we met&visited after 5days.Again i told her dat i am not ready 4anytin stupid now&our blood issue but she promised 2handle it&dat she has low chance of pregnancy den.she's a medical student 2.She even did d test herself according to her.D whole tin boils down 2me moving down 4confirmation bt i can't leave my exams.BTW she told me dat she will go 4scan 4confirmation but yesterday she told me dat she was referred 2check back in 3weeks time.Pls how long can it go b4 it can be scanned? I can't just comprehend y she doesn't want 2go wit my sister.Concentrating&facing my exams for now.Tnx @all for ur concerns&contributions

roughdiamond:
@spark,Yes i agree with u but my problem is dat i am writting exams which was y i referred her to my sister but she refused.I wouldn't want anytin dat will affect my exams.Her story is 2confusing&all i was running away from is dat word ''all men are wicked''by women.But for now,i hav to concentrate on my exams.
@Dorem,Yes i understood ur points&u are on point.Though she mayb trying 2b smart but i am foolishly following her wit my senses.She told me dat she was on her period d day we met&visited after 5days.Again i told her dat i am not ready 4anytin stupid now&our blood issue but she promised 2handle it&dat she has low chance of pregnancy den.she's a medical student 2.She even did d test herself according to her.D whole tin boils down 2me moving down 4confirmation bt i can't leave my exams.BTW she told me dat she will go 4scan 4confirmation but yesterday she told me dat she was referred 2check back in 3weeks time.Pls how long can it go b4 it can be scanned? I can't just comprehend y she doesn't want 2go wit my sister.Concentrating&facing my exams for now.Tnx @all for ur concerns&contributions

Medicine after death, but let this be a lesson to those who choose to let their emotions override common sense.

Now you, a heavily dependent student on your parents / family, laments over your studies, future, and impact your actions will have on your family.

Those are real concerns but if she is indeed pregnant, and DNA tests prove it's yours, everything you and her aspire for will just have to take second place. That kid didn't ask to be conceived in the first place. You did that yourselves.

And for what it's worth, assuming your facts and dates are spot on, I think she's playing you.

Hey guy,listen well.
Take her to a hospital for ultasound.
That will explain how far she is gone.

Next time,use ur brain instead of dikk to reason.

Power of toto
See as my guy dey misyarn

roughdiamond:
I posted this on Romance section but not getting enough matured advice i need.pls i believe ppl here are more advanced.pls help

Pls nairalanders i need ur help on this situation.I
started dating dis girl in 2010 but we broke-up in
2011.I tried all i could to bring her back but no way
so i let go.But the truth is that i loved this girl so
much&couldn't find any other girl to replace her in
my life.Last month,she called me,we talked&i promised to see her.we met&finally made up again
but while we were discussing,we found out dat our
blood are incompactible(AS&AS).we felt
heartbroken again but later reached with an
agreement to continue till marriage time&we will
seperate.As we are still students.But @month ending,she visited in skul&during d act(s*x&really
our 1st time since our broke-up)i brought out
condom but she refused dat she prefers it raw&i
agreed.But just 2day she cald dat she is
pregnant&asked 4my opinion,i told her to keep it
but she said no because of our blood.Though we are still in skul(finals)&depend on our parents,i
want to settle down with her because of my love
for her.But d major problem is our blood&our
church can't wed us.what can i do pls.Ur mature
contributions..

u fvck gal 2days later she's preg bro u'r fo.ool she's preg 4 som1 daz y she told u i luv it raw wake up bro

If you have ever seen a person with SS genotype during their crisis you will never think of leaving that foetus.

why are some girls so wicked this way.This is a lady i loved with all my being.Imagine what she sent me just now.
''****I was not pregnant.I didnt commit abortn.I didnt concieve or kil any baby.If u want a proof I can give u dat.I just wantd 2make sure,I dont fal a victim ''.
Thanks to all those who adviced me,i would have done something stupid but after your advice i had to stick to my studies leaving her alone.Later she called that she had aborted the baby&now this text.
Who said Nairalanders don't help,that person never register.Thanks so much my good ppl