Music artiste, Tosin Martins has revealed in a new interview the reasons why women of these days are not submissive the way their mothers were.

He also said that any man who isn’t ready to overlook the weakness that come with submissiveness may have problem with the marriage with his woman “Our women today are of a different breed. Our women today are not really like our mothers. The average woman today is not as submissive as their mothers and a guy who is not ready to overlook that weakness would have a problem with marriage. These days you have to argue and defend your views and if it goes well, all parties can then agree. It shouldn’t be that way; there is a certain measure of honor a woman must give a man as the head.

Stating his wife as an example he said she is submissive the very way she can “she does her best to be fair to her. She is probably maybe not as bad as your average girl. But the truth is today’s woman struggles with you saying yes and she just agrees. She would want to know why. She wants to give you her own side of the story. She thinks she is making sense and you are not making sense. Today, a woman tells you she is traveling; she is not asking you for permission. There is some individuality taking place. It’s a major struggle”

According to him this is because the women of these days are busy making money and want to express their own voice. “I think is majorly because they have become their own people. They are as educated as you are; they are working as you are working, they are earning money and you are, they have a world view like you have. They are empowered now and have their own voice and want to express.” He said.

The female species: pain in the a$$ since time immemorial!

Only a zombie will ask ' how high?' when told to jump.

So I think Tosin or whoever should be glad that the present generation of men now have women/wives who can think too and have to have a good reason to do whatever they are being 'instructed' to do.
You guys/men are so blessed.

"I'm the man. you must do as I say" simply doesn't cut it anymore. We the inhabitants of earth have evolved past that era.
Evolution is real
He better get with the program or live with the frustration of trying to relate with a 21st century woman like she's 16th century.

Lol @only a zombie will ask, 'how high?' when asked to jump. Waiting for those who will claim you called submissive women, zombies.

@cococandy
How dare you call submissive women zombies


Seriously though, I think the term 'submission' is being severely misinterpreted these days. Nobody is asking the wife to be a mindless zombie, however in every team there must be a leader, someone who has the final say. This is the role the husband plays, the leader, the tiebreaker, the one with the final word. That's all.

Tosin,face your music career and
leave women
alone..
Wether they are submissive
or not,you
have chosen your own
cross (wife)
carry her with the best of your ability.

cococandy:
Only a zombie will ask ' how high?' when told to jump.

So I think Tosin or whoever should be glad that the present generation of men now have women/wives who can think too and have to have a good reason to do whatever they are being 'instructed' to do.
You guys/men are so blessed.

"I'm the man. you must do as I say" simply doesn't cut it anymore. We the inhabitants of earth have evolved past that era.
Evolution is real
He better get with the program or live with the frustration of trying to relate with a 21st century woman like she's 16th century.

True that. Thats the mistake some men make. Relating with a 21st century woman as if she is from the 16th century. This is why we say each and everyone of us has got to go for our types. If you are a caveman, please go for the cavewoman and leave the 21st century ones for the 21st century men. Thats it!!! Do not expect a 21st cenntury woman to reason and act like a 16th century woman. Mbanu!! No two generations can ever be alike in orientation and choices. So much water has passed under the bridge for you to expect such. You will just be living in a fantasy world.

Anyways, being submissive isnt a crime. Submission is easy when there is love. There are many ways to be submissive but you have got to use a different method to get submission, different from that the 16th century. In order to get a different result, you have got to use a different approach. Simples!!

AJOT99:
Music artiste, Tosin Martins has revealed in a new interview the reasons why women of these days are not submissive the way their mothers were.

He also said that any man who isn’t ready to overlook the weakness that come with submissiveness may have problem with the marriage with his woman “Our women today are of a different breed. Our women today are not really like our mothers. The average woman today is not as submissive as their mothers and a guy who is not ready to overlook that weakness would have a problem with marriage. These days you have to argue and defend your views and if it goes well, all parties can then agree. It shouldn’t be that way; there is a certain measure of honor a woman must give a man as the head.

Stating his wife as an example he said she is submissive the very way she can “she does her best to be fair to her. She is probably maybe not as bad as your average girl. But the truth is today’s woman struggles with you saying yes and she just agrees. She would want to know why. She wants to give you her own side of the story. She thinks she is making sense and you are not making sense. Today, a woman tells you she is traveling; she is not asking you for permission. There is some individuality taking place. It’s a major struggle”

According to him this is because the women of these days are busy making money and want to express their own voice. “I think is majorly because they have become their own people. They are as educated as you are; they are working as you are working, they are earning money and you are, they have a world view like you have. They are empowered now and have their own voice and want to express.” He said.

The bolded is what some men have failed to understand. I'm glad he understands.

Submission is not about authority and it is not obedience; it is all about relationships of love and respect- WM Paul Young

I never called a submissive woman zombie.
Do you know if I'm submissive myself?
You can never know.

True the definition submission has been over bastardized.
That comment was in response to a part of the OP which says that women of these days have learned to ask why before doing what they are told.

Who wouldn't want a good reason before making a decision based on another person's instructions?
Unless of course the person is a zombie who does eveything for no reason except that it is what they are told to do.

Do you want that kind of woman?

5minsmadness:
@cococandy
How dare you call submissive women zombies


Seriously though, I think the term 'submission' is being severely misinterpreted these days. Nobody is asking the wife to be a mindless zombie, however in every team there must be a leader, someone who has the final say. This is the role the husband plays, the leader, the tiebreaker, the one with the final word. That's all.

Interesting

I laughed............


Cocoa-candy abi butter is the type of woman that answers "sir" to the snoring sound of her sleeping husband.

But she is a tiger online.


She is a good story teller thou.

cococandy:
I never called a submissive woman zombie.
Do you know if I'm sumissive myself?
You can never know.

True the definition submission has been over bastardized.
That comment was in response to a part of the OP which says that women of these days have learned to ask why before doing what they are told.

Who wouldn't want a good reason before making a decision based on another person's instructions?
Unless of course the person is a zombie who does eveything for no reason except that it is what they are told to do.

Do you want that kind of woman?

. Cococandy I was just joking about the zombie ish cos of what the poster above me said o
Of course nobody wants a mumu for a wife. However nowadays some women in a bid to show they can't be submissive to any man become unnecessarily aggressive and unreasonable. That's where the problem comes in.

Its obvious this musician is not happy about his wife's behaviour, he is just trying to sugarcoat it. I won't be surprised if their divorce reaches front page in the future. The reason will probably be 'irreconcilable differences'.

Ok

5minsmadness:


:ocococandy I was just joking about the zombie ish cos of what the poster above me said o

If it is no more in vogue for a woman to ask for permission before travelling from his matrimonial home, then the individuality will become more obvious than the previous generations. We therefore may expect a less compact family. Where does all these lead us? Have we taken time to ask why divorce rate is higher in places like Finland the origin of feminism? Why divorce ratee is lower in places like India where no courtship is usually practiced before marriage and yet their women are always dignified?
My sisters, as you lay your bed, so you will lie on it. The laws of the land may guarantee he does not misbehave, but that law does not compel him to bring you flowers from work.
What then is marriage?

Just passing by....... I can't laff

“Our women today are of a different breed. Our women today are not really like our mothers. The average woman today is not as submissive as their mothers and a guy who is not ready to overlook that weakness would have a problem with marriage.

True this.

It's no wonder why some men naturally take sides with their mother.

Interestingly, I wonder who men respect more...women of this generation or women of our mother's generation? And why?

Rather than say "submissive" using "compromise"/"understanding" would be better. Once you start asking women to be submissive in today's world, then it sounds more like asking them to be slaves. Men don't need slaves - we just need women to understand their unique role(s) in the family, and be able to compromise.

The role of women folks is to be the helper, and the housekeeper, without necessarily being submissive. While male folks are the provider, and patron/chaperone of the family. Both parties just need to learn how to perform their roles better, and effectively.

Personally, I don't want a submissive woman. I want someone who can be a helper and a good mother to my kids. A housekeeper. Someone to challenge and stimulate me mentally, while still respecting me for being the head/patron of the family. And most definitely a good cook.

The generational dissonance is due to a number of things.

The older generation of women tended to be submissive - and to the extreme - without anything - or even ill-treatment - in return. The current generation typically want to be at least "equal" in authority, blur the lines between roles and responsiblilty and some believe earning power should be a key determinant of "leadership".

Both are recipes for relatively unhappy or broken marriages.

Submission does not mean silence. It means full dialogue and agreement - and where agreement cannot be reached, the buck has to stop with someone - Dadddddyyyyy !

I mostly give leave to what my wife wants, but if there's ever an impasse, I make the call - and take full responsibility.

SirShymex:
Rather than say "submissive" using "compromise"/"understanding" would be better. Once you start asking women to be submissive in today's world, then it sounds more like asking them to be slaves. Men don't need slaves - we just need women to understand their unique role(s) in the family, and be able to compromise.
The role of women folks is to be the helper, and the housekeeper, without necessarily being submissive. While male folks are the provider, and patron/chaperone of the family. Both parties just need to learn how to perform their roles better, and effectively.
Personally, I don't want a submissive woman. I want someone who can be a helper and a good mother to my kids. A housekeeper. Someone to challenge and stimulate me mentally, while still respecting me for being the head/patron of the family. And most definitely a good cook.

Have you ever been in a relationship that did not have a de facto lead - other than an extremely casual one? Even homosexual relationships display a power dynamic.

You contradict yourself in the bolded - if there is no submission, why is there need for a head?.


TV

SirShymex:
Rather than say "submissive" using "compromise"/"understanding" would be better. Once you start asking women to be submissive in today's world, then it sounds more like asking them to be slaves. Men don't need slaves - we just need women to understand their unique role(s) in the family, and be able to compromise.

The role of women folks is to be the helper, and the housekeeper, without necessarily being submissive. While male folks are the provider, and patron/chaperone of the family. Both parties just need to learn how to perform their roles better, and effectively.

Personally, I don't want a submissive woman. I want someone who can be a helper and a good mother to my kids. A housekeeper. Someone to challenge and stimulate me mentally, while still respecting me for being the head/patron of the family. And most definitely a good cook.

Now this sounds se*xy.





I know you will say something evil now but I don't mind.

SirShymex:
Rather than say "submissive" using "compromise"/"understanding" would be better. Once you start asking women to be submissive in today's world, then it sounds more like asking them to be slaves. Men don't need slaves - we just need women to understand their unique role(s) in the family, and be able to compromise.

The role of women folks is to be the helper, and the housekeeper, without necessarily being submissive. While male folks are the provider, and patron/chaperone of the family. Both parties just need to learn how to perform their roles better, and effectively.

Personally, I don't want a submissive woman. I want someone who can be a helper and a good mother to my kids. A housekeeper. Someone to challenge and stimulate me mentally, while still respecting me for being the head/patron of the family. And most definitely a good cook.

I was awww-ing until I got to the emboldened. Mind elaborating?

UjSizzle:

I was awww-ing until I got to the emboldened. Mind elaborating?

Awwwww

UjSizzle:

I was awww-ing until I got to the emboldened. Mind elaborating?

I worked hard for Shy to get to this point but it's still a work in progress. Give him time.

UjSizzle:

I was awww-ing until I got to the emboldened. Mind elaborating?

In this place here, he can still comfortably be called moderate and progressive.

I'm a very very stubborn person. Does that make me less submissive?

TV01:

Have you ever been in a relationship that did not have a de facto lead - other than an extremely casual one? Even homosexual relationships display a power dynamic.

You contradict yourself in the bolded - if there is no submission, why is there need for a head?.

TV

Well, I honestly don't think there's a contradiction in my post. Relationships/marriages should be more of a partnership/teamsport, with assigned roles for everyone involved - and a team-leader/captain - without anyone being submissive. And in the case of relationships/marriages, men are naturally the leaders due to their innate temperament - and effectively being raised consciously/subconsciously by the society and whatever family set-up they came out from to always take the lead/initiative.

Once you start asking for submissiveness, then you've effectively made yourself infallible. And more like a God-like figure, who can never do no wrong. However, it takes two to tango, and you need the other party to always get involved, for ideas sharing. While still maintaing your different roles within the set-up. Submissiveness takes that away completely and, creates a docile robotic-figure. And the inertia is going to delegate more responsibilities to you as a leader.

The three biggest qualities of a good leader are: listening skills, open-mindedness, and sensitivity to other people's ideas. So, when you ask for submissiveness, while in effect making yourself an infallible God-like figure - then you have negated those qualities.

The word "submissiveness" itself is medieval, and you can never run a partnership, team, and/or team-sport with that. Let me use team sport to buttress my point: in team sports, you can only be submissive to the coach - not team-captain. With the team-captain, you share ideas. So, are you taking the leadership position of the team coach, or the team-captain? If you want the role of the team coach - then you've to re-apply and become your partner's father. However, if your position is synonymous with that of the team-captain, which is what it should be - then you honestly can't ask for submissiveness.

Anyway, I've always been the de-facto lead in all my relationships, as the male figure. However, I've never asked anyone to be submissive to me. It's always about sharing ideas, delegating roles, and me taking the initiative after effective communication/discussion with my partner. Before doing anything, it's my responsibility to ask her about what she thinks. And that's something you can't do with a submissive figure.

UjSizzle:

I was awww-ing until I got to the emboldened. Mind elaborating?

I just replied TV - and I explained further. Check it.

BananaBender:


I worked hard for Shy to get to this point but it's still a work in progress. Give him time.

Bwahahahah - delusional much?

I have never wanted someone submissive, and I've never been a fan of docile people.

My grouse has always been with disrespectful women, and those who're trying to change certain roles that are naturally for women folks e.g cooking.

SirShymex:


Bwahahahah - delusional much?

I have never wanted someone submissive, and I've never been a fan of docile people.

My grouse has always been with disrespectful women, and those who're trying to change certain roles that are naturally for women folks e.g cooking.

I'm not surprised, I know you won't give me my credit. It's okay. I don't do what I do for praise.

Nobody likes a disrespectful woman but gender roles must be abolished in homes.

We will discuss that in my next session with you

Funny enough the older generation women in my neck of the woods.were the direct opposite of what 'submission' is perceived to be.All my grandaunts and grandma still had a room in their father's houses after marriage the man messes up they go back to the father's house straight up dem no dey fear any stigma nothing.I have older women in my family that had x kids for x men.

There was(is) even a stereotype that eko women don't last in their husband's houses.Dem no send you try to interfere with them chopping the life of their heads you are gone. Made for some kain dysfunctional home settings though so not too sure if it was necessarily a good thing.

I think the younger generation starting from my mums generation from that particular part of Nigeria are now actually more 'submissive'.And I don't necessarily think it has to do with earning because most of these women (again from that part of Nigeria) were all financially independent. I don't get all this talk of women in this generation (generation may be loosely termed though so lets say 20's to say late 40's) being more financially independent than our mothers (60's to 80's) maybe more educated but not necessarily more financially independent.

My great grandmother built houses from selling pepper so how can you say that kind of person was not financially empowered?Most Yoruba women (not being tribalistic here or anything) are trained not to rely on a man totally financially and stay at home mums are largely looked down on.

.


. The average woman
today is not as submissive as their mothers
and a guy who is not ready to overlook that
weakness would have a problem with marriage.
These days you have to argue and defend your
views and if it goes well, all parties can then
agree. It shouldn’t be that way; there is a
certain measure of honor a woman must give a
man as the head.

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