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My Husband Refuses To Tell Me About His Secret "Woman" Friend - Family - Nairaland

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My Husband Refuses To Tell Me About His Secret "Woman" Friend by olorimadam: 9:54pm On Oct 28, 2014
So I've been married for less than a year now. When we were dating, though we were long distance, I had no cause to doubt my then fiance. He seemed like a principled straight forward person so I "trusted" him (Na for there I carry last). He also told me he would do all that it takes to keep his home as he wouldn't want his kids to go through what he went through as a child. Our marriage is very okay o, not perfect, neither is it terrible. I'm not sure if this is so because of my high level of tolerance or because I have nothing to worry about. Now we have one recurring problem. Before marriage, hubby had shared his phone passwords with me many times, though I had no cause to remember them or go through his phone. Fast forward to honeymoon, he was on his phone chatting, almost throughout. I say hian! na who dis guy come dey chat with during our intimate sessions. I also notice that he would never drop his phone, even if he wanted to use the toilet. anyway, God catch am one day, he left his phone in d room and went out, So I schemed through the phone and saw one particular girl in d recent chats, didnt get to really see the messages but i saw that he had sent her the picture of a joke that he recently sent me. Lo and behold before I could go far in my investigation, he came back and picked the phone (paid double transport ooooo, is phone food?). Anyway, since then I became curious, so anytime he leaves his phone, I check and she is always in his recent chats, through the chat history is usually empty because he deletes them. Anyway, Hubby tells me about his friends, I know most of them, but somehow, this female remains a well kept secret. anyway, to end dis long epistle, I confronted him recently, asked him in plain words, who she was? his response was that I have mental problem. Can you imagine? Is it that I dont have a right to ask my husband who his female friend is? I may be a jjc in marriage but to d best of my understanding, that is one right I should have. abi how una see am? dis guy is even threatening divorce over this issue but he has refused to answer my simple question. is it not easier to just answer than to divorce your wife over a small girl who is just a "friend"? i tire...dis marriage tin no be small jamb question. ok.....over to una.
Re: My Husband Refuses To Tell Me About His Secret "Woman" Friend by Nobody: 10:01pm On Oct 28, 2014
And it goes like this, curiosity killed the cat... Madam private investigator..kudos.. If u like, take ur hand and spoil ur marriage by urself...

1 Like

Re: My Husband Refuses To Tell Me About His Secret "Woman" Friend by unleashed123(m): 10:11pm On Oct 28, 2014
Take it from me, he is in love with this mysterious female and may be cheating on you with her. Because i have behaved the same way he is behaving to you to my girl friend.

7 Likes

Re: My Husband Refuses To Tell Me About His Secret "Woman" Friend by cherryice(f): 10:26pm On Oct 28, 2014
Men dese dayz, while they are fuccking you in bed, thers some other chic they fuccking with their minds.. deal wif it op embarassed

5 Likes

Re: My Husband Refuses To Tell Me About His Secret "Woman" Friend by Daresh(f): 10:30pm On Oct 28, 2014
My dear let me give you good advice here, blank him. Don't read his chats again. Dont ask him anything. But you start chatting on your phone
even if na ur gf, rename am to Steve or something. Put lock on your phone. Fear go catch am you go see repentance tongue

19 Likes

Re: My Husband Refuses To Tell Me About His Secret "Woman" Friend by cherryice(f): 10:32pm On Oct 28, 2014
Daresh:
My dear let me give you good advice here, blank him. Don't read his chats again. Dont ask him anything. But you start chatting on your phone
even if na ur gf, rename am to Steve or something. Put lock on your phone. Fear go catch am you go see repentance tongue

haha, some men wont care esp if they are into the mistress.
Some galz tho..flirting wt a married man undecided
Re: My Husband Refuses To Tell Me About His Secret "Woman" Friend by Daresh(f): 10:35pm On Oct 28, 2014
cherryice:


haha, some men wont care esp if they are into the mistress.
Some galz tho..flirting wt a married man undecided

Me I've reached realization that I cannot kill myself for any man. If he wants to follow mistress, odabo, good luck to him.

9 Likes

Re: My Husband Refuses To Tell Me About His Secret "Woman" Friend by cherryice(f): 10:41pm On Oct 28, 2014
Daresh:


Me I've reached realization that I cannot kill myself for any man. If he wants to follow mistress, odabo, good luck to him.

but ofcourse, its high time women stop cryin over men

10 Likes

Re: My Husband Refuses To Tell Me About His Secret "Woman" Friend by ifex370(m): 10:41pm On Oct 28, 2014
its guys like op's hubby that give us a bad name...


really sad

2 Likes

Re: My Husband Refuses To Tell Me About His Secret "Woman" Friend by kandiikane(m): 11:31pm On Oct 28, 2014
He said you have a mental problem? He is guilty, I don't know of what exactly but he is definitely guilty. What was his facial expression because you can tell by that and what comes out of their mouth when they know you are on to them.

4 Likes

Re: My Husband Refuses To Tell Me About His Secret "Woman" Friend by kandiikane(m): 11:34pm On Oct 28, 2014
Daresh:


Me I've reached realization that I cannot kill myself for any man. If he wants to follow mistress, odabo, good luck to him.
Chop knuckle jare! With this mentality when you are fed up you fit waka without a second thought. The days have gone where women have to suffer just because a man cannot keep his dck in his pants.

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Husband Refuses To Tell Me About His Secret "Woman" Friend by olorimadam: 11:39pm On Oct 28, 2014
kandiikane:
He said you have a mental problem? He is guilty, I don't know of what exactly but he is definitely guilty. What was his facial expression because you can tell by that and what comes out of their mouth when they know you are on to them.

He actually kept quiet for a while, then responded that i shd get help cos am mad. Shuoooo on top outside woman?

1 Like

Re: My Husband Refuses To Tell Me About His Secret "Woman" Friend by peggykorol(f): 11:44pm On Oct 28, 2014
Madam when a man's ways are not straight they act silly
Like your hubby just did.trying to be defensive,saying you are mental and wants divorce(see him mouth)
He is cheating with her and loves the attention
If you don't have a job,now it's time to get one and try to ignore his phone
When you ask too many questions they begin to feel too important
It's not easy sha cos your marriage is still young
Am yet to see a man who has not cheated on his wife at one time or the other

3 Likes

Re: My Husband Refuses To Tell Me About His Secret "Woman" Friend by peggykorol(f): 11:47pm On Oct 28, 2014
You registered this account today?
For some fun or what?
Re: My Husband Refuses To Tell Me About His Secret "Woman" Friend by kandiikane(m): 12:02am On Oct 29, 2014
olorimadam:


He actually kept quiet for a while, then responded that i shd get help cos am mad. Shuoooo on top outside woman?
He had to think of what to say and since he didn't have anything thing to say, he called you mad. I can give you two options:
1. ignore him regarding this issue, act like you don't care and do your own thing. Since he doesn't want to consider the fact that you have become one and should be sharing everything with you, you need to keep quiet too, it's not everything you should share with him. You don't necessarily have to start talking to a guy, just leave matter and when he comes to tell you things or about someone, tell him you don't want to know. If he can't share everything with you, he shouldn't bother sharing.

2. Put your foot down now, you won't tolerate any woman who will constantly be occupying his attention when he is around you or in your home. It's his choice if he does it outside but he should know that if you ever find out that anything has gone on between them or any other woman, then he would suffer the consequences since he refuses to adhere to your requests. Tell him if he ever strays, shebi, those women have vaginas, you too have one. You won't settle for less and neither will you suffer if he disrespects you with another woman. You can say this calmly and continue with what you were doing.

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Husband Refuses To Tell Me About His Secret "Woman" Friend by Acidosis(m): 12:03am On Oct 29, 2014
Based on my experience with some ladies, I've learnt never to pity any woman who finds herself in emotional or marital mess.

Might be God punishing you,
Or Satan
Or Karma sad

4 Likes

Re: My Husband Refuses To Tell Me About His Secret "Woman" Friend by Meringe(m): 12:04am On Oct 29, 2014
peggykorol:
Madam when a man's ways are not straight they act silly
Like your hubby just did.trying to be defensive,saying you are mental and wants divorce(see him mouth)
He is cheating with her and loves the attention
If you don't have a job,now it's time to get one and try to ignore his phone
When you ask too many questions they begin to feel too important
It's not easy sha cos your marriage is still young
Am yet to see a man who has not cheated on his wife at one time or the other
hey, not all men are cheat plz.

3 Likes

Re: My Husband Refuses To Tell Me About His Secret "Woman" Friend by Kanwulia: 12:05am On Oct 29, 2014
Serves you right!
You be real JJC!
He is right!
You have not just a mental problem, BUT MANY!

Get help fast!

Ahem! Private tots!cool

*going home after "doing" my hair and facials. . . To chop my husband's fresh-fish/shrimp pepper-soup with HOT EMA and some chilled pammy in preparation for real SHUKULI this night jor! Wetin be dat movie WEY we watch today? "The Judge". . . . Fantastic Drama Movie!* cool
Re: My Husband Refuses To Tell Me About His Secret "Woman" Friend by olorimadam: 1:28am On Oct 29, 2014
Kanwulia:
Serves you right!
You be real JJC!
He is right!
You have not just a mental problem, BUT MANY!

Get help fast!

Ahem! Private tots!cool

*going home after "doing" my hair and facials. . . To chop my husband's fresh-fish/shrimp pepper-soup with HOT EMA and some chilled pammy in preparation for real SHUKULI this night jor! Wetin be dat movie WEY we watch today? "The Judge". . . . Fantastic Drama Movie!* cool

wetin dis one come mean na? Help a sis out.
Re: My Husband Refuses To Tell Me About His Secret "Woman" Friend by olorimadam: 1:34am On Oct 29, 2014
kandiikane:

He had to think of what to say and since he didn't have anything thing to say, he called you mad. I can give you two options:
1. ignore him regarding this issue, act like you don't care and do your own thing. Since he doesn't want to consider the fact that you have become one and should be sharing everything with you, you need to keep quiet too, it's not everything you should share with him. You don't necessarily have to start talking to a guy, just leave matter and when he comes to tell you things or about someone, tell him you don't want to know. If he can't share everything with you, he shouldn't bother sharing.

2. Put your foot down now, you won't tolerate any woman who will constantly be occupying his attention when he is around you or in your home. It's his choice if he does it outside but he should know that if you ever find out that anything has gone on between them or any other woman, then he would suffer the consequences since he refuses to adhere to your requests. Tell him if he ever strays, shebi, those women have vaginas, you too have one. You won't settle for less and neither will you suffer if he disrespects you with another woman. You can say this calmly and continue with what you were doing.
i actually reacted with num 2. Are u sure ur not in ma head or sumtin? Haha

1 Like

Re: My Husband Refuses To Tell Me About His Secret "Woman" Friend by Stillfire: 1:43am On Oct 29, 2014
It's unfortunate when good people get entangled with people who have mastered the art of playing mind games. Such people would frustrate you and soon you will learn from them and begin to act like them.

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Husband Refuses To Tell Me About His Secret "Woman" Friend by armyofone(m): 2:26am On Oct 29, 2014
I miss ema.
Ema with real native spices from my iye and odede's kitchen.

Kanwulia:

Ahem! Private tots!cool
*going home after "doing" my hair and facials. . . To chop my husband's fresh-fish/shrimp pepper-soup with HOT EMA and some chilled pammy in preparation for real SHUKULI this night jor! Wetin be dat movie WEY we watch today? "The Judge". . . . Fantastic Drama Movie!* cool

Op, get your own grooves on even if you have to fake it.
It is going to be a long haul.

1 Like

Re: My Husband Refuses To Tell Me About His Secret "Woman" Friend by kreamidiva(f): 2:37am On Oct 29, 2014
Jesus is the answer...

Take care and be wise.

2 Likes

Re: My Husband Refuses To Tell Me About His Secret "Woman" Friend by olorimadam: 6:28am On Oct 29, 2014
Stillfire:
It's unfortunate when good people get entangled with people who have mastered the art of playing mind games. Such people would frustrate you and soon you will learn from them and begin to act like them.
The thing tire person o jare.
Re: My Husband Refuses To Tell Me About His Secret "Woman" Friend by cherryice(f): 8:39am On Oct 29, 2014
kandiikane:

Chop knuckle jare! With this mentality when you are fed up you fit waka without a second thought. The days have gone where women have to suffer just because a man cannot keep his dck in his pants.

thats la spirit cheesy

3 Likes

Re: My Husband Refuses To Tell Me About His Secret "Woman" Friend by freecocoa(f): 8:52am On Oct 29, 2014
Hope the story is true sha.

The nigga is cheating and probably in love with the other woman sef.
Re: My Husband Refuses To Tell Me About His Secret "Woman" Friend by Kanwulia: 9:15am On Oct 29, 2014
armyofone:
I miss ema.
Ema with real native spices from my iye and odede's kitchen.



Op, get your own grooves on even if you have to fake it.
It is going to be a long haul.

. . . .And 'bushmeat' with 'ABULA VALUS'! grin


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h2cMd5o7l5Q
Re: My Husband Refuses To Tell Me About His Secret "Woman" Friend by Kanwulia: 9:24am On Oct 29, 2014
olorimadam:


wetin dis one come mean na? Help a sis out.

You really think 'she' needs help?
Sure! FROM A SEASONED SHRINK ONLY!. . . To prescribe the RIGHT combination of 'nerve disorder' pills/elixirs(if she has no teeth or can't swallow 'solids')! kiss
I don't advice 'needy' or 'insecure' men or WOMEN! kiss

Marriage is not , AND SHOULD NEVER BE a 'life' or 'death' sentence you know?
So, because she is 'married' to a 'man'. . . the man should now be ENSNARED in her nauseating, suffocating clutches. . . with her INTIATIABLE quest for 'fresh', serial victims of 'indentured, romantic/matrimonial bondage/servitude'? grin

She go soon krase ke! cheesy
Watch out for PART 2! AKA 'THE HONEYMOON IS OVER'. . . OR 'THERE WAS NEVER A MARRIAGE, BUT IN HER DREAMS'! cheesy

1 Like

Re: My Husband Refuses To Tell Me About His Secret "Woman" Friend by olorimadam: 9:36am On Oct 29, 2014
Kanwulia:


You really think 'she' needs help?
Sure! FROM A SEASONED SHRINK ONLY!. . . To prescribe the RIGHT combination of 'nerve disorder' pills/elixir! kiss
I don't advice 'needy' or 'insecure' men or WOMEN! kiss

Marriage is not , AND SHOULD NEVER BE a 'life' or 'death' sentence you know?
So, because she is 'married' to a 'man'. . . the man should now be ENSNARED in her nauseating, suffocating clutches. . . with her INTIATIABLE quest for 'fresh', serial victims of 'indentured, romantic/matrimonial bondage/servitude'? grin

She go soon krase ke! cheesy

Did i mention that dis babes number is always saved with "codenames" on his phone? I no crase o, dem talk say anywhere wey smoke remain na because fire don burn for there before.

Abeg marital fidelity is not d same as bondage or watever u call it jo.

Thanks for not helping.
Re: My Husband Refuses To Tell Me About His Secret "Woman" Friend by Kanwulia: 9:38am On Oct 29, 2014
olorimadam:


Did i mention that dis babes number is always saved with "codenames" on his phone? I no crase o, dem talk say anywhere wey smoke remain na because fire don burn for there before.

Abeg marital fidelity is not d same as bondage or watever u call it jo.

Thanks for not helping.


Ha! "Dem tok say. . . . "! So, you know about 'marital infidelity'? And you are here 'forming' on NL huhn? grin
I see you have a problem with 'freedom of expression'.
Is he not the SAME MAN YOU MARRIED. . . with a prior history of 'CHATTING' WITH BABES? undecided
Now that you know. . . WHAT ARE YOU STILL DOING. . .RANTING ON NL. . .is my question? undecided
Abi you nor know whia 'DIVORCE' court dey? undecided

What other 'proof' do you need? Abi you nor sabi say 'TOTO DEY SOUR EVEN BEFORE HONEYMOON'? Efin if you be 'VAGIN' ni? undecided

Stop being a 'MUMU'. . . . .Wake up and smell the 'dustbin' please!
The man don give you ring. . . GO AND CARRY BELLE! Or the 'SIDE BYTCH' will surely beat you to it. . .with all this 'busy body' you are doing on NL! cheesy


Hope this will knock some reality into YOU and this ya 'tatafo thread'?

Mtcheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew!!!

1 Like

Re: My Husband Refuses To Tell Me About His Secret "Woman" Friend by babestell(f): 11:30am On Oct 29, 2014
He may not be cheating (yet)

Sometimes it is possible for opposite sexes to form close bonds, that may seem like cheating. what kind of guy is he? Are you guys so close that you talk about everything? That maybe what he has with the other lady. A close friendship

I have a married male colleague who am close to. We go for mass together, enjoy the same activities, laugh at the same jokes, talk about everything. One day I asked him if his wife knew I existed and he said no, apparently he was pulling the same kind of moves your hubby did. eventually he did and the wife confessed that she had heard about me from other people and she didn't say anything because she kinda trusted her husband. madam and I are cool now not friends but we are cool.

For your peace of mind, don't start suspecting or reading meanings into his actions as that is a recipe for high blood pressure, rather work on becoming friends and realize that people will always have secrets, even toddlers have secrets not to talk of adults whose past we cannot verify. Of course this is just me presenting a different angle to the story

1 Like

Re: My Husband Refuses To Tell Me About His Secret "Woman" Friend by peziz(f): 11:41am On Oct 29, 2014
olorimadam:


Did i mention that dis babes number is always saved with "codenames" on his phone? I no crase o, dem talk say anywhere wey smoke remain na because fire don burn for there before.

Abeg marital fidelity is not d same as bondage or watever u call it jo.

Thanks for not helping.

It will do you well to ignore some person(s)

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