What is the best thing one can do in this situation. I had an argument with my boyfriend due to his lack of understanding and distance. Making me feel too left out n we are still together especially when u call just to know how he's doing once in a while. I even asked him if the best thing was to have a break so my mind would be clear n he said no. Well after the argument, I didnt speak to him for like a week, then called him and his phone was switched off. 2days later I got him, and asked him, he sounded differently, like we weren't even fighting. So I asked him why his phone was off, if he was ok, n he said he just needed time to himself, we talked for a few mins. Then I called him that noght n his phone was off again, then tried it this morning with blocked id and it was on.

What do I do cos I dont even know if this is a relationship anymore, I'm tired of being the one trying to make it work. I have a feeling that he has another woman maybe even living with him n I cant just go to his house as a surprise before i find out something else n dont want to act too desperate. I want to call him this morning but want to say the right thing.

Do I invite him over for a talk even though i know he moght not show up, or ask him over the phone or what? It's getting to a new year. Im already hurt and would be hurt but I just want to know what's going on or where I stand. Pls what is the best I can do?

that's the end of it jare. The guy don tire

It's ok if he is, u know cos there are millions of people out there but no one wants to feel used. I am a straight forward person. Talk to me cos even if i try to move on, i would still be hurt on way or the other if this is the way it would end. I've asked him n by the way we have invested a lot. if u want to move on or a break, then he should tell me, that's why I want to talk to him. Am i wrong here?

monicaa,so u still went back to that same guy dat has been chasing girls anyhow abi?

comot for hiaaa jooooo

I'm asking the best thing to do. Cos that would the first step to healing. Should I talk to him over the phone for the last time or what? n tell him my mind, that I know there is another woman but i would have respected u tell me. Different people have different ways of handling situations.

@Whatever90

If this is what u came here to add, pls leave, im not ready for all these. Where did I mention I went back to the same guy??

Monicaa:

@Whatever90

If this is what u came here to add, please leave, I'm not ready for all these. Where did I mention I went back to the same guy??

story,then i guess u must be very cheap then,since any Man you date,gets tired of u

abegiii,its d former guy,no be u just come online they beg people to advise u concerning the matter?

@Whatever90

Thanks

I really feel your pain. A guy that treats a lady this way has missed the bus to decency.
I mean he should be bold enough to tell you his mind, no matter what.
From the picture you've painted, you've been trying to put a rein on this relationship for a long time.
Or don't you think, you've tried too much to make your guy happy neglecting yourself?

My only candid advice, is to give him a break and see how it works out. Really, i don't think this guy really care for you as
mush you do, from all indication. Give him a break, and i think you are scared of losing him.

Fortune favours the audacious.

awww that is so sad my sister jst count him as a man gone, coz if you ever get him back he will never be the same.
Accept my sympathy in advance.

Remove your mind from the whole thing. Just let him be. I think he wants to break up with you.

princekevo:

awww that is so sad my sister jst count him as a man gone, because if you ever get him back he will never be the same.
Accept my sympathy in advance.

sympathy ke?d thing is dat she does not want to let dis same man go,dis is not the first,second or even 15th time hes acting like dis,its either hes out there chasing women,or leaving their pics on his fone,dis is d same man dat told her dat the feelings he has for her has faded away,still dis monicaa still dey pursue am for back like pom-pin

monicaa im not being harsh,but for real girl,dis guy jazz u abi na wetin?which kain fake blind love be dis one?or dont other men talk to u outside?dis is bcoming irritating u know

is it a new man or the same one who she's been begging even tho he cheated on her continuously?

HR.hotness:

is it a new man or the same one who she's been begging even tho he cheated on her continuously?

I think it is a new man.

chika98:

I think it is a new man.

that quick eh? and already with problems too. . .

HR.hotness:

that quick eh? and already with problems too. . .

Some people LOVE being in relationships.

Monicaa:

@Whatever90

If this is what u came here to add, please leave,

SNAP

Busy_body:

SNAP

Trouble maker oshi

chika98:

Trouble maker oshi

Okay seriously, we have to campaign to stop people bullying Danke, are you in Isn't it funny how she is always being asked to leave I can imagine the type of rfebel she was in school, I bet she made her teachers cry in school

Busy_body:

Okay seriously, we have to campaign to stop people bullying Danke, are you in Isn't it funny how she is always being asked to leave I bet she made her teachers cry in school

I know right? the other day it was playville abi wetin be her name again. She told her to "walk" out of her thread. lol

@meexteriox

Thanks for ur understanding, It seems u were the only one that understand from a matured perspective and Chika98. As for the others, I dont know what to say, U can only talk if U've been there but if not, I guess I'm the only one that knows wats up! n would handle it by God's grace.

chika98:

I know right? the other day it was playville abi wetin be her name again. She told her to "walk" out of her thread. lol

lol   and she was like "there I was minding my own business, when she rudely asked me to walk out. . ." Gosh, she's something else.

What do you say we raise money to buy koboko to whip some sense into Monicaa I know she needs closure, but I don tire  

chika98:

Some people LOVE being in relationships.

Tell me who does not love being in a (good) relationship? Look, this lady has simply asked for honest advice and the best each of us could do is tell her what we would do if we were in her situation. Why belittle her or act as if she's stupid? If you can't respect other people's feelings then do not post. Those who have never been caught in the emotional turmoil of the heart will obviously never understand her point of view. Good for you if your life is so very perfect. So of us are not so lucky.

Monicaa, there are possibly two things at play here; logic and emotion. Logic suggests that it might be over, but emotion wants to hold on. You can't really force a relationship. You both have to really want each other for it to work. Otherwise, one party will give and give, but get little in return. Trust me you don't want to be the only one giving. It will stripe you of all your self-esteem.  It's hard to end relationships especially when there's no other person to fill the vacuum.

If I was in your situation, I would search myself deep inside and trust my gut feel. If your gut tells you it's over, then it's truly over. If you walk, time will heal your hurt and pain. In time, you will learn to be indifferent towards him. You don't want to keep pouring water into a basket. It will not hold. Besides, he's not the last guy on earth,

Monicaa:

@meexteriox

Thanks for ur understanding, It seems u were the only one that understand from a matured perspective and Chika98. As for the others, I don't know what to say, U can only talk if U've been there but if not, I guess I'm the only one that knows wats up! n would handle it by God's grace.

enough with d drama jor. . . folk r just curious, afterall u came here crying about ur boyfriend that cheated and it was assumed it was all over. this was only a couple of weeks ago so how is it possible that u r already having problems with ur new boyfriend? and where did u find d time to get a new boyfriend seeing as u were threatening to kill urself over d old one

Monicaa:

@meexteriox

Thanks for ur understanding, It seems u were the only one that understand from a matured perspective and Chika98. As for the others, I don't know what to say, U can only talk if U've been there but if not, I guess I'm the only one that knows wats up! n would handle it by God's grace.

Monicaa, put yourself out of your mystery and go to his house, you have nothing to lose, finding out firsthand that he has another woman would give you the closure you need sharpish. It's unhealthy the way you are dwelling on this and is surely not good for your health.

Busy_body:

lol   and[b] she was like "there I was minding my own business, when she rudely asked me to walk out[/b]. . ." Gosh, she's something else.

What do you say we raise money to buy koboko to whip some sense into Monicaa I know she needs closure, but I don tire  

You shoulda seen me laughing my butt off that day. The chic will make someone hit their head on the wall one of these days.

springss:

Tell me who does not love being in a (good) relationship? Look, this lady has simply asked for honest advice and the best each of us could do is tell her what we would do if we were in her situation. Why belittle her or act as if she's stupid? If you can't respect other people's feelings then do not post. Those who have never been caught in the emotional turmoil of the heart will obviously never understand her point of view. Good for you if your life is so very perfect. So of us are not so lucky.

Bia. . Fall the waaaaay back! you hear me. . just fall back! I believe Monicaa is talking about a new dude here and she JUST got out of a bad relationship. I asked her the other day why so soon? Just because some of us don't come here to cry doesn't mean we don't know the first thing about heartbreak. All we are trying to say is that she uses her head and not her heart in this situation.

HR.hotness:

enough with d drama jor. . . folk r just curious, afterall u came here crying about ur boyfriend that cheated and it was assumed it was all over. this was only a couple of weeks ago so how is it possible that u r already having problems with ur new boyfriend? and where did u find d time to get a new boyfriend seeing as u were threatening to kill yourself over d old one

It's the same guy, she just has a problem of letting go which is understandable

@Springss

Thanks a lot dear, U just concluded it all. It's hard for me to believe that most of these people that post rubbish or just like yabbing n running their mouths are matured. People have feelings. Of cause I've got zillions of friends, family, admirers, guys at my feet at this very moment, God especially n so on but when it comes to matters of the heart, most times u want to keep to urself or see if u could get an insight. I'm Nigerian so sharing point of views with other Nigerians isn't bad but most of you are, can't even say the word

Simple, if u have no reasonable thing to say, then don't post. It isn't by force. There are still some reasonable people to give advice on here, even if it's just one person, a word is enough for the wise. I'm not the kind of person to be exchanging words esp wit pple I ain't seeing

Springss, once again, thanks for ur maturity, only those that are n have been there can really tell how it feels.

chika98:

Bia. . Fall the waaaaay back! you hear me. . just fall back! I believe Monicaa is talking about a new dude here and she JUST got out of a bad relationship. I asked her the other day why so soon? Just because some of us don't come here to cry doesn't mean we don't know the first thing about heartbreak. All we are trying to say is that she uses her head and not her heart in this situation.

Chika it's the same guy, I think he is just messing with her head;

Monicaa:

U know I decided to move on, I didnt even bother seeing him again n before I know it. Text messages, WATS UP BLA BLA, to he hasnt heard from me, to if I still love him, to he still loves n will always love me forever. His text messages n missed calls r still saved on my phone , infact he showed up at my place a lot of times but twice i saw him, he got me lots of foods, bags n so on, i thut it was wonderful but I didnt want to show him in my heart, i still loved him.

Busy_body:

Chika it's the same guy, I think he is just messing with her head;

oh. Then Monicaa you need to move on! What has guy this got sef? I see the sex is that good huh?

@ the poster,the man has actually said in unspoken words that he's not interested in you.
He's avoiding you and it's obvious.
Move on and forget him.
and don't cheapen yourself
The only man worth  pleading with for forgiveness or reconciliation when there's a misunderstanding is one who has walked you down the aisle.
The others are just passersby
There are plenty fishes in the ocean and I ain't talking mackerel  

I don tire, Busy_Body, ok now what same guy or not?

Newayz like i said, if u dont have anything reasonable 2 say, then vanish! as simple as that. N i'm good. Would handle the situation myself. It will be well
 @ Chika98

I can end this post. I'm not holding on to the guy. It's just not a good thing to feel when u part with someone for reasons u couldnt see n so on. But it's good. It will be well n I'm good. I'll handle it myself n thanks for the gud contributions.